Teenage Drama Queens
by DragonGirl323
Summary: AU. Yuna, Rikku and Paine are more than just best friends. Together they make YRP, the most popular singing group in Luca. Paine thinks her life is pretty much complete, that is, until she meets the new boy in town.
1. Living Large

**Disclaimer:**

I do not nor claim to own any aspect of Final Fantasy X/X-2, including the characters, plot line, music, places etc. Please refer to this chapter in the future.

**Author's Note:**

**October 15th, 2012**

I'm going through and editing this fic chapter by chapter fixing grammar, punctuation and spelling errors that I missed the first time through.

* * *

**Teenage Drama Queens**

**By: Jenna Duffy**

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**Chapter 1**

**Living Large**

* * *

"Yunie! Painey!" Rikku exclaimed, bouncing towards Yuna and I as we were making our way to the parking lot.

"Hi, Rikku," Yuna said, greeting her energetic cousin. "How was your day?"

"Boring, as usual," she replied, rolling her eyes. Her face brightened a moment later, excitement shining in her green irises. "Anyways, I finished our costumes last night! I can't wait till you guys see them!"

"About time," I said with a smirk, reaching over and ruffling Rikku's hair.

The skinny blonde quickly ducked and jumped out of reach, rearranging her braids. "I wanted to make them perfect, okay? Sue me!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air.

Both Yuna and I chuckled as we zig-zagged through the parking lot. "Before you tell us what they look like," I began, noticing Rikku had opened her mouth to speak. "at least let us know if we're going to look like a group of prostitutes on stage tonight."

Yuna stifled a laugh as she unlocked her car so herself and Rikku could throw their stuff in the backseat. As soon as Rikku's books were safely in the back, she turned to me with a hurt expression on her face. "The costumes I make for us aren't whoreish," she said with a slight pout.

"What I meant is," I said, leaning against my motorcycle. "I don't want to be half naked on stage – again."

"Oh, come on, Paine," Rikku said, sitting next to Yuna on the hood of her car. "You gotta be able to show a little skin in our line of work. Oh, and you did finish mixing our music, right?"

"Of course," I said, sorting through the front pocket of my backpack and producing a CD in a plastic jewel case. "The whole show's right here."

"Good," Rikku said, snatching it from my hand. "I'll keep this safe till it's show time." She opened Yuna's passenger door and set the CD carefully on the front dash.

"Hey, Riks!"

"Gippy!" Rikku yelled, slamming the car door shut and running toward her boyfriend.

"Hey, Paine! Yuna!" Gippal said, waving at both of us as he plopped himself down next to Yuna as Rikku settled herself in his lap. "There's someone I want you guys to meet." He motioned towards a dark skinned, white haired boy that had magically appeared a few feet behind me. "This is Baralai. Him and his family moved here not too long ago. We're old friends."

"Hi everyone," he said sheepishly, waving hello to Yuna, Rikku and me.

"Nice to meet you," I said, extending my hand. "I'm Paine." Baralai smiled shyly at me and took my hand, shaking it. I paused briefly when something I could only describe as an electric charge shot up my arm. My muscles constricted, startled, and quickly letting go of his hand, nonchalantly wiping it across the leg of my jeans.

_Boy, that sure was weird,_ I thought, staring down at my hand with a perplexed expression.

I shifted my gaze over to Baralai and could tell by the way he was flexing his fingers by his side that he felt the same thing I did had. I frowned and brought my gaze back down to my own hand, still wondering why that had happened. I was relieved that none of my friends had noticed what had passed between us: our whole exchange passed in only a few short seconds, not long enough for them to notice.

"I'm Yuna," the young brunette said, shaking Baralai's hand as well, oblivious to what had happened.

"And I'm Rikku," the blonde Al Bhed said, smiling widely at Baralai as it was her turn to shake his hand.

"Gippal told me that you guys are famous here or something," Baralai began, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "What do you do?"

"We're singers," I blurted, making sure that Yuna or Rikku didn't have the chance to doll up our fame to someone who didn't even know us.

Baralai smiled and turned to me. "How did all that happen?"

"The three of us have been in singing classes almost all our lives. When we started high school, we decided to make our own little singing group just for fun, but we got noticed and...here we are."

"And this is how we're gonna pay for college too," Yuna added, sitting cross-legged on the hood of her car.

"Yeah, if we weren't doing this I have no idea how we would be making a living," Rikku replied, playing with one of her braids. "It's definitely better than working fast food."

Baralai opened his mouth to say something when a horn sounded in the background. I turned my head and spotted a fancy black car with window tint as dark as the paint sitting not too far away from where we were. I quirked an eyebrow and looked over at Baralai, who was now waving at said black car.

"Well, that's my ride," he said. "I'll see you later, Gippal. It was great to meet you guys."

"Later, 'Lai." Gippal paused and waited until Baralai was inside the car to speak up again. "I invited him to come along to the show tonight."

"Oh, that was nice of you, Gippy," Rikku said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Well, he's new here so I figured he needed to meet our local celebrities," he said, putting his hands beneath his head and laying down.

"I'm starting to think that he's a celebrity himself," I said, watching the black car carrying Baralai leave the school parking lot.

Gippal chuckled. "No, his parents are just filthy rich. His dad's the head honcho of some company and his mom runs the new Bed and Breakfast down near the port."

"Must be nice," I retorted, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, lucky," Rikku said, stretching her arms over her head. "Oh, Yunie! Where's Tidus?"

"He had to go to work," Yuna replied, crossing her arms over her chest and setting her face in a scowl.

"Will he be able to come to the show tonight?" the young Al Bhed inquired, hopping off Gippal's lap and running in front of her cousin, resting her hands on her shoulders.

"He said he might be able to make it," Yuna grumbled, not meeting her cousin's eyes.

"Don't worry, Yuna," I said, walking away from my bike to join my friends. "I'm sure he'll be able to come. Everyone in this town knows who we are. I'm sure his boss will let him off early to come watch you."

"Yeah, I hope so," she replied, still sounding none too happy about it.

"So, Rikku," I began, getting the young blonde's attention. "we should probably head over to your house to try on those new costumes, hm?"

"I thought you'd never ask! Come on, Yunie, let's go!" She paused and gave Gippal a quick hug and peck on the lips. "See ya tonight, Gippy! Don't forget to bring our new friend!"

"I won't. See you later, babe," he said, opening Yuna's passenger door for Rikku who giggled a small amount before sliding into the seat.

Gippal shut the door and waved as Yuna started the car. "See you tonight, Paine!" he called, walking off towards his own car.

I waved to him as I put my helmet on and revved my engine to life, following Yuna out of the parking lot and into the crowded streets of Luca. Rikku lived only a few miles away from the school, but, because of how congested the roads were, it took us longer than usual to reach her house. I wasn't worried though, the show wasn't until eight and we still had a lot of time for practice.

"Okay, girls, we're in the clear. Pops still isn't home from work yet. Let's hurry," Rikku said as we followed her up to her front door.

Once we were in Rikku's room and she had shut and latched the door, she rushed over to her closet and pulled out our new costumes. All three of them consisted of knee length, skin tight skirts that had a slit on the right side that reached all the way to the bottom hem, small belly shirts that had tears across the bust to reveal a little cleavage and extremely high stilettos. I wondered for a few seconds how I was going to perform with those things. I sighed in relief when my costume was in my signature colors, black and red. All my costumes were, actually, but Rikku had a thing for experimenting with colors and I was scared that one of these days she was gonna do a little of that experimentation on mine.

"Okay, Paine, you first," Rikku said, pointing to her bathroom.

Once I was in the bathroom, I took the time to more closely examine my costume. My skirt was a little different than Yuna's and Rikku's. Instead of one slit there were two and they were connected at the bottom by a piece of ruffly red fabric. The top was black with red swirly stitching up the sides and on the sleeves. Once I had both items of clothing on, I walked back into Rikku's room. Both her and Yuna whistled and cheered.

"That looks really good on you, Paine," Yuna remarked, grinning.

"No thanks are needed," Rikku said, waving her hands in the air like she had won something.

"I'm surprised, Rikku," I said, being honest. "These outfits aren't half bad." I glanced down at my purple jeweled belly ring and sighed. "Do you think I have enough time to go to my house and change out my belly ring?"

"Yeah, you should," Rikku said, nodding. "We don't have to be at the stadium for practice for another hour. We'll meet you over there, okay?"

I nodded and went back into Rikku's bathroom, quickly changing back into my own clothes. "I'll see you guys at the stadium in an hour." I waved to them then walked out and hopped onto my bike, storing my outfit and shoes in one of my storage compartments.

The drive to my small house near the port didn't take long. I lived alone: my parents were killed in a car accident my freshman year. I've been living off their life insurance and my salary as a singer ever since, which is how I was able to buy my house and my motorcycle. After my parent's passing, I couldn't stand to live in the same house that I had grown up in. It hurt way too much. There were too many memories.

I opened my garage door with the automatic opener on my motorcycle and wheeled it inside. I checked my cell phone as I walked to my room, the LCD display reading 5;18. _Still a lot of time to spare._

We usually had about two hours of practice time before , that is, if everything is set up the way it's supposed to be. Since Gippal and I are the ones in charge of everything technical, we have to make sure that all the equipment is running like clockwork before the show starts. While we're performing, Gippal and Tidus are the ones that keep it running smoothly.

I sorted through my belly rings for a few seconds before quickly changing the purple jewel for one with a hanging red heart charm. On my way back out to the garage, I grabbed a couple granola bars to eat when I got to the stadium. All of us – myself, Yuna, Rikku, Gippal and Tidus – usually go out after the show and get something to eat so a small snack would satiate me until then.

I stuffed the granola bars into the storage compartment with my outfit and wedged my helmet onto my head before wheeling my bike out of my garage and closing the door. While I was sitting at the stop light to get back on the main road, the same black sedan that had carried Baralai away from the high school stopped next to me in the double turning lane. What surprised me even more was when Gippal stuck his head out of the back window.

"What's up, Paine?" he asked, a goofy smile on his face.

"Gippal?" I asked as I flipped up the visor on my helmet. "What are you doing?"

"Getting a ride from Baralai, what does it look like?" he replied, chuckling.

"Did your car break down again or something?" I asked, quirking one eyebrow in inquiry.

"No!" he exclaimed before he had a chance to catch himself. "I mean no, I just wanted to show him where he has to park."

"No, Gippal, I'm not going to give you a ride on my bike after the show," I said, snapping my dark visor back over my eyes. The light turned green and I heard Gippal curse and start talking to Baralai as I gunned my bike forward.

Gippal must have told Baralai's driver to follow me because every time I changed lanes to pass someone that black sedan followed right along like it was connected to me with a rope. The traffic got increasingly worse the closer we got to the stadium, to my great dismay. It took about half an hour to reach the main parking lot.

_Geez, have things ever been this busy?_

I breathed a sigh of relief when the security guard letting people through was one I knew. He smiled and waved at both myself and Gippal, letting us through without a hitch. From there, I went to our private parking area that was blocked off to everyone that didn't know the pass code. This was how myself, Yuna and Rikku are able to get in and out of the stadium without being mobbed.

I punched in the four digit code and waited while the iron gate blocking off our parking area slid into the wall. I was shocked to find Yuna's car, along with Tidus', already there. Nine times out of ten I was usually the one that got to the stadium first. I couldn't help but wonder what had made them move so swiftly tonight as I parked next to Yuna's car. I hopped off my bike, jerking my helmet off my head and hung it on my left handlebar. I dug my outfit from my bike's storage compartment, along with my granola bars, and waited for Gippal and Baralai to get out of the car.

"The gate will open automatically when you drive towards it," I told the driver, who gave me a thumbs up in response.

"Well, Dr. P, you ready?" Gippal asked, jogging up to me.

"Of course. I'm always ready to get up on stage and look like a tramp," I said jokingly as we walked into the stadium.

I heard Baralai chuckle on the other side of Gippal. "Oh, come on, Rikku's costumes make all of you look so sexy though." Gippal paused and looked over at Baralai. "Seriously, 'Lai, they do. Rikku's good at designing their clothes."

"As long as she doesn't start dressing me in pink, I'm fine with it," I said, stopping outside our dressing room. "Go start on the equipment check, that is, if Tidus hasn't already finished it. We'll be out in a few."

Gippal nodded and dragged Baralai away. I stared after them for a few seconds, gazing at Baralai's retreating back. _What's with me?_ I questioned myself. _He's just another boy. Nothing special._

I shrugged it off and walked through the dressing room door. Yuna and Rikku were already there working on their hair and make-up at their separate vanities. I smiled when I saw that they had taken the time to get mine ready to use.

Rikku looked at me through her vanity mirror when I walked in. "Paine, I thought you would never get here!"

"Traffic sucked," I said, sinking down onto my chair, beginning to fix my helmet hair. I opened up a granola bar and nibbled on it.

"Yeah, it took us forever to get through it too. Good thing Ivan was the one working the front gate or it would have taken even longer for us to get here," Yuna piped up.

"I hear ya," Rikku chimed in.

"So I assume that Tidus got the night off?" I asked, glancing in Yuna's direction with a smile.

"He did, thank Yevon," she replied as she was curling the ends of her short hair. "He got here a few minutes after we did."

I nodded and continued getting myself show ready, gaudy make-up and all. Yuna and Rikku finished a few minutes before I did, but stuck around and waited for me to get dressed.

"I'm so proud of what I did with your outfit, Paine," Rikku said. "It looks great on you."

"I'm glad you think so," I said, adjusting my top. "I feel like I'm going to rip the damn thing if I lean over too much."

"Oh, quit complaining! Come on!" Rikku said, grabbing my arm and dragging me out the door.

As we walked out onto the stage, I could hear the drum of all the people waiting to be let in. Gippal and Tidus rushed over and fitted us with our wireless microphones. Baralai stood behind them, watching them work and admiring our outfits as well. My eyes met his for a brief second and his dark cheeks tinted red before he looked away.

"Is everything working?" I asked Gippal as he was outfitting me with my microphone.

"Yup, every thing's purrin' like a kitten!" he said, moving on to Rikku. "Alright, boys, let's get up into the sound booth." He looked over at me and grinned. "I'll give you the signal when we're ready!"

We ran through all our songs once – except for the solos, which we did twice – then we went back stage to wait. I ran up to the sound booth for a minute to do a last minute check up on all the equipment. Gippal and Tidus sat back as I examined the sound and light boards and made sure the music was set at the right level. I could feel Baralai's eyes on me as I worked and caught Gippal and Tidus exchanging sneaky glances, signifying that they saw what I was feeling.

"Is everything to your liking, Madame?" Tidus asked, a smile in his voice.

"For now." I smiled at the three of them. "How much longer till the doors open?"

Gippal checked his watch. "Not long now. Only five minutes. Better get your butt back stage."

Once I returned back stage, Yuna and Rikku insisted that we practice our dance moves some more. I grudgingly accepted and we practiced – without our heels – until Gippal flickered the back stage lights, indicating us to get our asses to our places.

The show went on like all the others. We started out with our original song then went on with some new ones and some old ones. Our solos were spread out through the show and I, to my great distaste, was the one going first this time. The three of us rotated who sang their solo first and out of all my solos I was actually looking forward to singing this particular one. It had a rebellious air to it and was more rock than synthesizers, which was my element.

I breathed an audible sigh of relief when the show was over. We retreated into our dressing room to get out of our costumes. I quickly threw on a black, long sleeved shirt, a pair of my favorite jeans and my black high heeled boots. All three of us kept normal clothes in the dressing room just for occasions such as these. I walked into our parking area to stuff my old clothes into my motorcycle storage compartments and spied Baralai sitting out on the sidewalk.

He turned and smiled at me when I came out. "Good job tonight," he remarked.

I couldn't help but smile back at him. His smile was just so...infectious. I shook my head and frowned as I opened the compartment on the right side of the bike, unceremoniously stuffing my clothes inside. "Thank you," I replied, almost forgetting to answer him. I cleared my throat. "So have Gippal and Tidus recruited you to help them out up there yet?"

"They have actually," he replied, standing up and cramming his hands in his pockets. "They've already started teaching me how to do some things."

"That's good," I said, not knowing what else to say. "It's not that hard though."

We stood in awkward silence for a few moments, neither of us able to come up with anything to say to the other until the silence forced me to participate in small talk.

"So, um," I began, scratching the back of my neck in thought. "where did you live before you came here?"

"In Bevelle," he replied easily. "My father decided to expand his company and head up the branch here in Luca while he left one of his associates in charge in Bevelle. It's always been a dream of my mom's to open up a Bed and Breakfast so she jumped at the chance as soon as we moved here."

"What kind of business does your father own?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"He's a lawyer and he basically owns the largest firm in all of Spira. He hopes I'll go to law school once I graduate so I can take over the business when I'm old enough." He rolled his eyes and a smirk played upon his lips.

"Do you want to?" I questioned, moving a little closer to him.

He frowned and scratched the back of his head before shrugging his shoulders. "Not really." He paused and met my eyes for a few seconds, but quickly averted his eyes once again, another blush coloring his dark cheeks. "It's kind of embarrassing, but I kinda want to be a singer too."

One of my eyebrows quirked at his words. I hadn't been expecting that. "Can you sing?"

"A little," he replied, a bashful smile spreading across his face.

The back stage door opened behind us, cutting off our conversation for the time being as our friends poured out.

"Are we ready to go eat?" Rikku asked. "I'm starving!"

I quickly walked away from Baralai before anyone could notice that him and I had been talking. I picked up my helmet and held it between both hands. "So where are we going?"

"Our usual place?" Yuna suggested as she unlocked her car.

"No, we have to go somewhere new this time," Rikku interjected, tapping her chin in thought.

"Like where?" I inquired, holding my helmet in between my hip and my right arm like I would a blitzball.

Rikku placed her index finger on her mouth in thought and tapped her foot on the ground. Her bright green eyes lit up after only a few moments. "I know! How about that new steakhouse that just opened?"

Gippal and Tidus both nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, that's a great idea, Riks," Gippal replied, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her.

"Would it still be open this late?" Yuna asked, pulling her cell phone out of her purse and staring at the time with uncertainty.

"Oh, come on, Yunie! It's only ten o'clock! It's got to be open still!" Rikku exclaimed.

"I suggest we get going then before they close down," I said, pushing my helmet down over my head and getting on my bike. I revved the engine to life to emphasize my point.

"Yeah, come on!" Tidus agreed, pulling Gippal and Baralai towards his car. "We'll follow you, Paine!"

I rolled my eyes, thankful that my visor was tinted and turned my bike around, waiting for the rest of the group to pile into their cars. I sped through the gate minutes later with Yuna and Tidus following close behind. The streets were surprisingly empty for a Friday night and I was expecting to hit a huge traffic jam as we made our way back up from the docks. The new steakhouse had opened up on the busiest street in town and, yet again, I was surprised how empty it was as we drove down it.

I pulled into the parking lot and groaned under my breath when I saw that almost the entire town had decided to go to the same exact place for dinner. _Oh how lovely..._ I yanked my helmet off my head after I found a parking spot in the back of the lot, shoving the kickstand down.

"Still think this was a good idea, Rikku?" I asked as they all piled out of the cars.

The young Al Bhed stared around the parking lot with a frustrated expression on her face. Out of all three of us, Rikku was the one that took our fame to extreme levels. I knew exactly how she was going to react. "We can't let this stop us!" she exclaimed, confirming my prediction. "Come on, Yunie!" She grabbed her cousin's wrist and drug her through the parking lot toward the front door.

I rolled my eyes as I walked toward where the guys were standing around Tidus' car. "Shall we?" I inquired. "Before Rikku gets herself into trouble?"

Gippal chuckled. "We might as well. She's dragging poor Yuna into it too."

Baralai fell into step beside me as Tidus and Gippal ventured forth after Rikku. Once we found her she was already inside the restaurant, talking with the hostess. There was an enormous group of people sitting in the front lobby, waiting for their turn to be seated. I had to hold myself back from slapping my forehead when I saw every person in the lobby staring at the back of Rikku and Yuna's head with some of the dirtiest glares ever known to man.

The conversation that she had been having with the hostess was already over by the time we got to the podium. The hostess was nowhere to be found and I couldn't help a few concerned thoughts enter my mind. _Oh wonderful. Rikku's really pissed her off and now she's going to go find some burly bouncer to throw us out on our asses._ My fingers twitched, wishing they could coil themselves around her skinny neck and shake her till her teeth rattled.

I couldn't begin to imagine the look on my face when the hostess came back around the corner, smiling broadly. "Well I was able to pull a few strings and found you a table. Right this way." She pulled a pile of menus out from the inside of the podium and led us through the overly crowded restaurant.

I bit the inside of my cheek when I heard a gaggle of angry and displeased grumblings coming from the people waiting in the lobby. I had a feeling that we would hear about this as soon as we returned to school on Monday. The hostess sat us at a large booth that could easily hold ten people then ran off back to the front of the restaurant.

Dinner commenced as it normally does with our group. We were far from the legal drinking age, but that didn't stop Rikku and Yuna from ordering their favorite virgin drinks. I rolled my eyes when Rikku told Yuna that she was hoping the bartender "forgot" to leave out the alcohol in her drink.

"She acts like she's never drunken alcohol before," I whispered under my breath.

Baralai, who was sitting next to me, chuckled at my remark. The conversations had broken off and they consisted of Yuna and Rikku chatting about an assignment they had due in one of their classes and Gippal and Tidus conversing about the next big blitzball game, which left Baralai and I alone to come up with something to talk about between us.

I took a sip of my water and stared down at the ice cubes as I tried to think of something to say to him. _What do you say to someone you've barely known for a day? _I thought, twirling my glass around in my hands, watching the ice swirl round and round.

"So, Baralai," I began, setting my glass down and propping my elbows on the table top. "do you have any siblings?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No, only child. I kinda wish I had a brother or sister though. It gets kinda boring with just me and my parents."

"Yeah, it does," I replied, staring down at my lap and wishing my parents were still around.

_I would give anything to be in your shoes right now, Baralai. You have no idea._

Before he had the chance to ask me about my parents, a subject that was still quite tender, I racked my brain for another topic of conversation. "How did you meet Gippal?"

He was taken off guard slightly by my question and took a few seconds to gather his thoughts together. "Oh, we met during summer camp when we were in junior high. Kept in touch ever since. When my parents told us we were moving here, I was actually kinda glad. I knew it was gonna feel awkward being in a new school, but since I knew someone that went here it wouldn't be so bad."

"Well I would have to agree with you since being friends with teen celebrities is kind of a plus."

That made Baralai laugh and I was suddenly wondering why I liked the sound of it. _Men are pigs, Paine. Don't forget that. _Our food arrived before either of us could say anything else.

Our waitress, a girl that we went to school with, stared intently at Yuna, Rikku and I as she set our food down in front of us. "I wish I could have to come to your show tonight," she said, folding her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry."

I smirked as she apologized to us. I had no idea why she felt the need to say sorry. "It's alright," I replied. "There's always next week."

A bright smile flashed across the girl's face at my words. "I have next Friday off so I can't wait. Is there anything else I can get for you guys?"

Rikku shook her head and swallowed the bite of food she had in her mouth. "We're okay for now." Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Alright, just let me know," she said as she walked off to serve her other customers.

After we had finished our dinner and paid, – leaving a hefty tip for our waitress – we crowded around my motorcycle, trying to figure out what else we could do before going home. Gippal kept trying to convince me to let him ride my motorcycle, which only made me more aggravated with him. We stood around debating what we should do with our Friday night for almost half an hour when Baralai was the one to finally suggest something.

"I know that it's late, but..." he began, grinning sheepishly when we all turned to look at him. "my mom should still be down at her bed and breakfast. "She's been worried that I wouldn't be able to make any friends and I was wondering if you all would like to meet her?"

Yuna, Rikku and I shared a brief glance. I wasn't opposed to the idea at all. It was something to do and I was pretty sure that no one else was going to come up with anymore bright ideas. "Sounds like a plan. Let's go," Rikku said, already jumping into Yuna's car.

I rolled my eyes at her as I crammed my helmet onto my head once again.


	2. The Fast Lane

**Chapter 2**

**The Fast Lane**

* * *

The boys drove in front since Baralai was the one that knew how to get to his mother's bed and breakfast, while us girls followed close behind. I sat astride my motorcycle with one hand on the handlebars and the other resting on my thigh as we casually made our way back down to the docks.

I tried stifling a yawn that snuck up on me, but, since my helmet was in the way, it didn't work as I had intended. I kind of wanted to go home. Meeting the new kid's mother wasn't going to be _that_ exciting. _I'm actually pretty shocked that Rikku didn't suggest finding some after party to go to,_ I thought, rolling my eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I like going to parties just as much as the average high school student, but I was usually the one getting stuck as the designated driver and the one that carried all the keys. As much fun as it was to be around Rikku and Yuna when they're drunk, it tends to get old fast.

When we arrived at the bed and breakfast, we managed to find two empty spots near the back of the crowded lot. I parked beside Tidus and pulled my helmet off, examining Baralai's mother's business. The bed and breakfast resembled an old style mansion with high, vaulted ceilings and three stories high.

"This is a bed and breakfast?" I asked, unable to hide the skepticism in my voice.

Baralai chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, my mom likes to overdo it sometimes," he said as we made our way towards the front door.

"It's gorgeous," Yuna said, craning her neck back to get a better look at it.

"Has anyone come to stay yet?" Rikku asked, lacing her fingers behind her head as she walked.

"If I remember correctly, it's completely booked right now," Baralai replied, opening the door for us.

I glanced over my shoulder at the parking lot, already knowing he wasn't exaggerating. Rikku and Yuna's eyes were wide with awe and disbelief as they scanned the dark windows overhead. Whatever Baralai's mother was doing to pull in all this business was working like a charm.

Not even a full five seconds had gone by after Baralai shut the door behind us when his mother came around the corner. She was a very gorgeous woman. Her long chestnut hair fell perfectly around her shoulders in gentle curls and her sea green eyes shone brightly. A wide smile spread across her face when she saw her son emerge from the crowd of teenagers and she moved toward us eagerly, looking as though she wanted to give him a hug. When she stopped in front of us though, she calmly folded her hands behind her back, probably thinking that she would embarrass him in front of his new friends if she did.

"Hi, Mom. I wanted you to meet my new friends," Baralai began. "Guys, this is my mom, Carmen."

After all the introductions had been made, – with the exception of Gippal, whom she greeted with open arms – she asked Baralai how he had met all of us. An extremely long conversation erupted after Baralai told her that we were singers, and popular ones at that. She was absolutely ecstatic over the fact that he had made friends that were popular. Apparently, she didn't want him getting mixed up with the wrong crowd, which was pretty much every mother's concern.

During the last few minutes of our conversation, I saw Baralai nervously fidgeting out of the corner of my eye, something I felt like doing as well. Rikku and Yuna were the only two taking part in talking to Carmen. Gippal and Tidus were half asleep and I was just sitting there listening while everyone else chattered.

Finally, Yuna announced the late hour and that everyone's parents would be expecting us home soon. Carmen smiled and ushered us towards the door, biding us all good night. To be honest, I was relieved to get out of there. Baralai's mom was lovely, but I wasn't sure how much more of that I would have been able to endure.

"Paine, wait," Baralai called as his mother held him back in the doorway.

I frowned and stuffed my hands in my back pockets while Baralai and Carmen talked in hushed whispers. I caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but the one part that confused me the most is when Carmen said, "I know what happened to you in Bevelle really hurt and I just want you to find a nice girl."

Baralai rolled his eyes and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you at home, Mom." He closed the door behind him and walked with me to my motorcycle. "There's something I want to ask you."

"Shoot," I replied, leaning up against my motorcycle.

"Gippal and Tidus told me during the show that you're the one that writes and composes all the music."

"That's true."

"I was just wondering. Could you help me write some music for some lyrics I wrote?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck bashfully.

"You wrote a song?" I asked, a small smile spreading across my face.

He shrugged nonchalantly like everyone went around writing lyrics all the time. "It's nothing much," he replied. I could tell that he didn't want to delve too much into his past so I didn't push the issue. It was none of my business anyways. If he wanted me to know the reasoning behind his song, he would tell me.

"Well, I'll be going to our recording studio tomorrow morning to start mixing next week's show. I guess I could help you write some music to go along with your lyrics while I'm there."

The corners of his mouth turned up in a shy smile. "You'll really help me?" he asked, sounding shocked.

I nodded, not being able to help smiling myself. "Sure, I'd love to. Would you happen to have the lyrics on you? That way I can go over them a little before tomorrow."

"Actually, no. They're at my house." He paused and I saw a flicker of confusion in his dark brown eyes. "You have a recording studio?"

"Well, yeah. That's how we record our music," I said, making my voice blatantly sarcastic.

"You guys...own it?" He sounded downright astounded.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Wow, that's really cool."

"Hey, Paine!" Rikku called, running up to me. "When are you gonna be at the studio tomorrow?"

"Eight, why?" I asked, folding my arms across my stomach.

"Ugh, too early for me. Yuna and I just want to come and help out tomorrow." Her statement made my right eyebrow arch at a near impossible angle. The blonde caught it and chuckled nervously. "Alright, I know we never come to help you but yeah... Is it okay?"

I shrugged. "A little help would be appreciated."

"Sweet! See you tomorrow, Paine!" She ran back over to Yuna's car, but stopped short when she opened the door. "We'll be there at ten!"

I nodded and waved at them before turning back to Baralai. "I better get going too. I have to get up earlier than they do," I said, climbing onto my motorcycle. I set my helmet in my lap and drummed my fingers across the top. I still had no idea how he was getting to the studio in the morning. "So do you want me to give you directions or what?"

"Well," Baralai began, looking back at Tidus and Gippal. " I was thinking it would be a good idea if you gave me a ride home so you know where I live."

I couldn't help but allow my jaw to slacken a small amount. _He is_ very_ brave._

"You think so, huh?" He nodded and one corner of his mouth curled up in a coy smirk. I chuckled as I slammed my helmet over my head. "I don't have another helmet."

He ran over to Gippal and Tidus to tell them that he was getting a ride home with me and I almost fell off my bike when I saw the look on Gippal's face. It was absolutely priceless. He had always wanted to either ride my bike or have me take him on a ride. Neither one had ever happened. This new kid is the only one that I have _ever_ let ride on my bike with me.

We waved to our friends as I raced out of the parking lot and into the deserted street before Gippal collected himself enough to come yell at me. I wouldn't escape from him though. I was gonna see him again on Monday morning so I'd get the third degree then. Baralai kept his arms wrapped tightly around my stomach and his forehead pressed against my back on the way up from the docks to keep his eyes from drying out. Having him this close to me was uncomfortable and it wasn't going to be easy for me to get used to it.

_Hold it! What am I thinking? This _is not_ going to be an everyday routine._

Every few seconds I could feel the pressure on my back disappear while he figured out where we were. He whispered directions in my ear every few minutes, which made a traitorous shiver shoot up my spine, and, before I knew it, we were pulling up the driveway of a _very_ expensive looking two story house.

I flipped up the visor on my helmet to get a better look at it as I coasted to a stop next to the same black sedan that had picked up Baralai from school and dropped him off at the stadium. The house was painted in a variety of browns; darker tones around the windows and lighter tones around the body. It was 'Grade A Awesomeness' if you were to ask Rikku.

"If you want, I can get my lyrics for you now," Baralai suggested as he slid off the back of my motorcycle.

I was so entranced by his home that I hadn't realized that he had spoken until he appeared in my field of vision. I snapped to attention, quickly meeting his eyes. "Sure," I responded, not exactly sure what he had said.

I was only waiting for a few minutes before Baralai came back outside, a folded bundle of papers in his hand. "Here they are," he said, handing them to me. "Hope you like them." He chuckled bashfully, raising his right hand to scratch the back of his neck. My eyes lingered on the spot where his long fingers were rubbing nervous circles on his dark skin, noticing that he did that quite a lot.

"Well, let's put it this way," I began, twisting around to stuff the papers into the storage compartment that had my costume in it. "if I like it, it won't be hard for me to come up with music to go with it. And if I really like it, I'll start getting rhythm and note ideas before I'm even finished reading the lyrics."

"Wow," he said, putting his hands in his pockets. "How did you get so good?"

I sighed and leaned back on my seat. That was an innocent enough question, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him the whole truth. He didn't need to know about any of that anyways. Who was he to me? "I've just had...a lot of free time for the past few years."

It was true, a small part of the truth, but still the truth. Since my parent's passing, music was the only thing that got my mind off of the fact that I was alone. I had taught myself to play all the instruments that I owned. I would actually be qualified to be a music teacher or band director if I wanted to go in that direction later in life because of all the knowledge I had.

Baralai cocked his head, much like a dog would when hearing a strange sound, and was about to say something when he stopped himself. "I'm sorry. I was going to ask a very personal question, but it's none of my business." He paused, gazing into my eyes intently. "See you in the morning?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, flipping the visor back down with a sharp snap. I revved my motorcycle back to life and was about to turn it around when Baralai rushed up to my side and slammed a smaller folded piece of paper into my hand.

"Almost forgot. That's my cell number. Call me when you get here tomorrow morning." Then without waiting for me to say anything else he turned around and walked towards his house, waving at me when he got to his front door.

I glanced down at the crinkled piece of paper that was pressed into my palm, waved back absently then turned around and gunned my motorcycle away from his house. I was still trying to figure out what the hell had transpired between myself and Baralai. I probably would have been completely fine going up and knocking on his door in the morning; that's actually what I was planning on doing. Asking for his number hadn't even crossed my mind.

_I think he just wanted a reason to give me his number. Ugh, men. Sometimes I don't even want to know what they're thinking._

By the time I got home I had practically pushed the issue to the back of my mind. I wasn't one to obsess over whether someone liked me or not. Baralai was just another guy. He was nice, but that didn't mean anything. _Every_ guy was nice at first.

I tossed my keys and costume onto the coffee table then collapsed onto my couch, turning the papers that held Baralai's lyrics around in my hands. Now that I had them I was reluctant to read them. I was almost one hundred percent sure that they contained information on what had happened to Baralai while he was living in Bevelle. With a shaky breath, I unfolded the papers and noticed first hand that he had very neat handwriting. I could actually understand Baralai's handwriting; Gippal's and Tidus' were a totally different story. It was like trying to decipher ancient hieroglyphics when reading anything they wrote.

I frowned as I skimmed through the first few lines, whispering a couple out loud to myself. "And you're still probably working at a nine to five pace. I wonder how bad that tastes." The fingers on my right hand started to drum out a basic rhythm on my couch cushions. "You never seemed so tense, love. I've never seen you fall so hard. Do you know where you are?" My frown deepened as I finally realized what exactly Baralai's lyrics were trying to say.

"He was cheated on," I said, letting the papers fall back against my legs. "That's what his mother meant. He was dating a girl in Bevelle and she cheated on him."

_And I thought men were bad. Women can be just as vicious._

I studied his lyrics for another hour and a half when I should have been asleep. By the time I collapsed into my bed, utterly exhausted, I had the makings of a composition for Baralai's lyrics running circles in my mind. I pressed down on my eyes, willing myself to go to sleep. I could practically hear the music in my ears and I knew it would take me a while to get to sleep. I looked over at my bedside table where my cell phone was charging and where Baralai's number was sitting. I groaned and turned over onto my side, closing my eyes and lulling myself to sleep with the music playing in my ears.

The blaring of my alarm clock didn't do very much to wake me up the next morning. I had fallen asleep a little after two o'clock and had tossed and turned almost all night. Waking up at seven in the morning was not something I enjoyed doing. If I could, I would sleep in till noon.

I stumbled out of bed and immediately went to my bathroom, turning the shower water on as cold as it would go then jumping right in. I gasped as the icy water soaked me, sending chills shooting down my spine. My teeth began to chatter as I turned the water temperature to hot. "Alright, I'm awake," I stuttered as the water began to slowly heat up.

As it turns out, hot water wasn't a very good idea either. After I had washed my hair I almost fell asleep leaning against the wall of my shower. _I am _never _going to fall asleep that late again,_ I thought as I turned the water ice cold again.

It was almost seven forty-five when I stumbled back into my room. I paced around in front of my bed in my underwear, slapping my cheeks, trying to get my ass in gear. Before getting dressed, I quickly programmed Baralai's number into my phone, hardly even paying attention to the number itself.

By the time I closed my phone and tossed it onto my bed, I was so pressed for time that Baralai would probably be wondering where I was. I tore through my closet and, not caring what I looked like, grabbed an old pair of gray cut-off sweatpants, a gray long sleeved shirt and a comfortable pair of flip-flops. That choice of shoe probably wasn't a good idea because of the fact that the only mode of transportation was my motorcycle, but if I burned my legs, I burned my legs. Rikku would be pissed at me, but, oh well.

I grabbed my phone off my bed and my keys off the table then ran out of my house, speeding off down the street as fast as I could _without_ getting a speeding ticket. I pulled into Baralai's yard at ten minutes after eight and quickly pulled off my helmet, flipping open my cell phone to call him. My eyes met the front door briefly and I paused when I saw Baralai's head sticking out of the open door. I closed my phone and waved at him, figuring that calling him was moot by now. He looked over his shoulder, probably to say good-bye to his parents then closed the door behind him.

"Sorry I'm so late," I said as he approached me. "I stayed up half the night reading your lyrics."

Baralai looked surprised at that. "Did you come up with anything?"

I nodded and stifled a yawn behind my hand. "I have an idea. I'll test it out once we get to the studio."

Baralai's smile dazzled me and I had to rub my eyes as he hopped onto my motorcycle. I mashed my helmet onto my head, my face screwing up, then sped out of Baralai's driveway. He kept his forehead pressed into my back just as he had last night with his arms wrapped tightly around my stomach. I felt the intense urge to squirm away from him. This whole closeness thing with someone besides my two best friends was still very uncomfortable.

_So why do I continue to put myself into situations where I'm going to be close to him? Why? _I thought, hoping that after today he would find another ride.

Our recording studio was located in a large lot of warehouses and store rooms that were used for a number of things. It hadn't put too much of a hole in our pockets to remodel one of the smaller store rooms into a studio. The only thing that almost completely broke us was all the sound and mixing equipment we had to buy, including a few of the instruments I didn't already own. We made all that money back in less than a month though so none of us minded too much then.

Only certain individuals that had a gate code could get inside so I never had to worry about someone coming and stealing all of our recording equipment. Once I reached the gate, I quickly punched in the code and slowly rode through the rows of warehouses until I arrived at ours. I parked on the side of the building and trudged towards the door with Baralai following close behind as I sorted through all the keys on my ring, trying to find the right one.

_I should have made myself some coffee before I left. Oh, and I probably should have gone to bed earlier last night too,_ I thought sarcastically

The front door led to a small foyer area that was blocked off from the mixing room. That way none of the outside noise would come inside. We had a bunch of pictures of ourselves displayed on the walls along with a couple chairs and even a decorative plant. The chairs and plant were Rikku's idea. She thought that those things would be a nice touch just in case anyone came to visit us while we were here, which confused me since no one else knew our gate code or any of the other codes, as a matter of fact. There was a sliding door that came out of the wall leading into the mixing room. A lock was on this one too. I flipped on all the lights and turned on all the sound equipment, stifling a yawn as I checked everything before practically stumbling into the recording booth.

I had to figure out a way to wake myself up so I grabbed my electric guitar and plugged it into the amp, turning it up as high as it would go. The crackling hum I heard from the black box at my feet warned me that I probably had it turned up a little too much, but I didn't really care. I needed to do something to get myself motivated. I took a deep breath and, without using a pick, raked my fingers across the strings. The sound that erupted almost rendered me deaf, but I was most definitely awake.

When I looked up Baralai was standing in the doorway of the recording booth staring at me with one eyebrow quirked in confusion. "You okay?" he asked, more than likely thinking I had lost my mind.

_I'm not crazy. Just sleep deprived,_ I reminded myself. I turned away from him as my cheeks flared red, setting my guitar back in its stand.

"Sorry about that," I said as I made my way over to the Grand piano. "I needed to do something to wake myself up."

Baralai chuckled, a sound that I was quickly starting to enjoy, and came to stand next to the piano as I sat down on the bench and uncovered the keys. "This piano is amazing," he mused, his eyes gliding over the immaculately polished black surface.

"Believe it or not, this is the most expensive piece of equipment we have." I plinked out a few out of key notes before looking up at the tan skinned boy standing next to me. "If you don't mind, I need to warm up."

"Can I watch?" he asked, meeting my eyes.

I shrugged nonchalantly, my sleep deprivation being the reason why I didn't give a damn. "Sure."

I took a deep breath, the song I was getting ready to play was one of Rikku's. It was rather sad, totally opposite to how she really felt, but beautiful all the same. Of course, I had written the music for it and it was one of my favorite compositions. There was more music than just the piano, but it was just as good with only one instrument. Yuna and I sang back up on this song whenever Rikku sang it during a show so I knew all the lyrics. I suddenly felt very self-conscious with Baralai standing there expectantly, waiting for me to start. I cleared my throat and looked back up at Baralai, feeling the need to explain why I was going to sing this specific song.

"This is Rikku's song, but the piano arrangement is one of my favorites. Just letting you know." I clamped my mouth shut, feeling very idiotic.

My fingers flew over the keys, expertly executing all the notes. When I started to sing the words, my voice seemed to echo through the room and I had to fight to keep from looking up at Baralai as I got to the chorus. I kept my eyes on the keys and thought only about how weird my voice sounded with this song. Rikku's voice was smooth and higher, more accustomed to this song than my voice, which was a little rougher and deeper. Although, I had no problem hitting all the high notes as well. Yuna and Rikku actually applauded me on how I belted out the higher notes. All of our fans liked it too.

My voice was much more accustomed to the rock songs that I wrote for myself. They were more my element than slow instrumentals. Rikku had tried to get me to sing a few of her songs in the past, but that was always met with failure, much to her disappointment. Before I realized it, I had reached the end of the song and let the last note hang in the air for a few seconds before looking up at Baralai to gauge his reaction. He was staring down at his feet with a lost look in his eyes and seemed to snap out of a trance when he noticed I was no longer singing.

"Wow, that was...beautiful."

I nodded as I got up from the piano, not really sure how to respond, and went to walk back into the mixing room.

"Hold on," he said, rushing up to my side. "Before you get started writing the music for my song, can you sing something else really fast?"

I frowned and turned to look at him. "Like what?" I questioned, baffled that he would want to hear me sing again.

"I don't know. Just something that isn't like that," he said, indicating Rikku's song. "Something...different."

I thought for a second, wondering which one would be fitting to sing for him. "Alright," I said, walking into the mixing room and sitting down in front of the sound boards.

Besides the half dozen computer screens that were situated on top of the sound boards, there was a computer screen built into one of the boards, which we used as an archive for all of our songs and music videos. We also used it to practice whenever we wanted and not be disturbed. I flicked on the computer's power switch and scrolled through the extensive list of songs until I came to the one I wanted. I was shocked by how brave I was as I put it on the queue. I paused it before it started playing and stared at the screen, wondering whether or not if I should change it.

_He asked for different and I'm going to give him different._

I quickly enabled a setting that would distort my voice and make it sound more electronic when I sang into the microphone. Sadly, here in the studio is the only place where we can apply that setting to our voices. The equipment in the stadium isn't ours so it's not that advanced.

"Okay, after I put the headphones on press this button right here," I said, pointing at the play button.

He nodded and quickly sat down in the chair, thinking that if he took too long I would change my mind. I went into the recording booth and slid the door shut before going over to my station and cramming my headphones over my ears. I was still pondering over the fact that I should change the song to something else, but before I had the chance to stop him, he hit the play button and the music started playing in my ears. I mainly sang this one so certain number so it sounded much more natural to me. This song was...a little more risqué than the others and it had a lot of sexual themes. It was one of our many show openers. We weren't going to be singing this one next week, but I already knew we'd be using it sometime in the near future.

I found myself getting caught up in the lyrics and singing it the way I would as if I was standing on the stage next to Yuna and Rikku. I left all the dance moves out though. I did not need to be doing that right now. If he was going to be at the next few shows, which I was quite positive he was going to be, then he could wait until then to see them. When I lifted my eyes to look through the window to the mixing room, Baralai was watching me intently, his dark eyes focused on me. I could detect a small amount of adoration in his chocolate eyes, which almost made me forget some of the lyrics, but I pushed through them and breathed a enormous sigh of relief when the music finally ended.

I yanked the headphones off my head and walked back into the mixing room before he had a chance to shout out anymore requests. I looked at the clock on the back wall and gaped. It was only eight thirty. I had another hour and half before Yuna and Rikku got here. I was gonna be alone with Baralai for quite a while longer.

_Yay for me..._

I sighed heavily as settled into a chair besides Baralai, the realization that I would have to first compose all the music for his song before I could even think about recording it. Not to mention I needed to find out if the kid could even carry a tune. All I knew was that there was going to be a lot of dead air between us for the next couple hours that I knew he was going to fill with small talk. Fantastic.

_Oh, this is gonna be fun._


	3. Dead Silence

**Chapter 3**

**Dead Silence**

* * *

My assumptions were correct. _God, I hate it when I'm right._

As I tried to concentrate on the painstaking task of writing all the notes down, Baralai couldn't keep his mouth shut. Every time he spoke up, I totally lost my entire train of thought and quickly began to get extremely aggravated. Half a dozen times I had to swallow a rebuff that crawled its way up my throat with a vengeance. I was amazed at the level of self-control and patience that I was exerting just to be nice to him. I didn't even know that I was capable of such a thing. Every person has their breaking point, though, and I reached mine only half an hour later.

So, instead of outright snapping at him, I decided to take the nicer route, which also surprised me because I wasn't one to 'be nice' to people I hardly knew very often. "Baralai, as much as I enjoy answering your questions, I really do need to concentrate on this." I stared right into his eyes as I said this, hoping I was getting my point across.

His throat tightened momentarily as he swallowed and his tongue flicked out of his mouth to wet his lips. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, his voice small. "You should have told me to shut up earlier." One corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk that made my heartbeat quicken.

_Wait...what?_

I looked away from him without saying anything back and we sat in awkward silence as I stared down at the paper in front of me. "Switch me seats really quick," I blurted out, getting up. Baralai shot me a confused glance before rising. I moved my chair over in front of the computer that was our archive of songs and switched it back on, pulling a pair of headphones out of a drawer and plugging them in next to the screen. "Finishing this composition is going to take me a while so you can listen to some of our music. It'll keep you occupied."

Baralai smiled again as he sat down in front of the screen and quickly got to work scrolling through the list. I sighed, glad to have a little peace, then got back to work. I had almost half the guitar notes mapped out when the ringing of a cell phone snapped me out of my concentration, making me jump so high I almost hit my head on the ceiling. I looked at Baralai, already figuring that it was his phone that was ringing, to see him looking at the lit display with confusion.

"Excuse me," he whispered before slipping into the foyer and talking in hushed tones with the person on the other end. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I could tell that his voice was strained.

I frowned as I began to wonder who he was talking to. I knew that it was none of my business, but I still couldn't help my curiosity, which absolutely confounded me. Being curious about someone else had never been a part of my persona. Rikku's and Yuna's, yes, but never mine. I tried to take my mind off that fact by concentrating on my work, but didn't get very far. All the notes that I had written down in the interim had to be redone because my attention was centered on what was going on in the foyer instead of the notes I was writing. To my relief, Baralai came back into the room a few moments later and I tried my hardest to look like I was immersed in my work even though I wanted to know who had just called him.

I almost broke my pencil in half trying not to look in Baralai's direction. I finally gave in and leaned back in my chair, hesitantly laying my eyes on him. His right leg was nervously bouncing up and down while he chewed on his bottom lip and stared down at the floor. He was still holding his phone, turning it around in his hands absentmindedly. The muscles in his jaw were clenched tightly, which told me that the conversation hadn't gone very well. I swallowed slowly, wetting my throat so my voice wouldn't crack when I spoke.

"Baralai?" I said almost cautiously.

He didn't respond for a long time. I thought, at first, that he didn't hear me, but I froze when he started chuckling and shaking his head. "I thought I was through," he said, his voice a low whisper. "I thought I was through with her and now..."

Now I was even more confused than I was five minutes ago. His cryptic words were puzzling, but I didn't want to push the issue. If he didn't want to tell me what the person on the other end of the line had said, I wasn't going to force it out of him. After a few minutes of dead silence, I went back to my work, still concerned about what had happened. I saw out of the corner of my eye as he slipped the headphones back over his ears, picking up where he left off like nothing was bothering him. I sighed heavily as I stared at the sheet music in front of me like it was written in a foreign language. I decided to take a break on the guitar notes then started mapping out the notes for the percussion. That came a little easier since I had the rhythm already figured out.

I was making progress with the percussion notes and almost had them finished when Baralai's hand grabbed my shoulder, his fingers digging into my skin like claws. I frowned and whipped my head around, shocked by his sudden change of behavior. He was staring down at the computer screen, his eyes glued to the small, glowing screen in front of him as if his very life depended on it. My curiosity was piqued again as I scooted towards him, my work forgotten for now.

"What is it?" I whispered, looking from the screen to him. I gasped inwardly when his eyes met mine. I reflexively leaned away from him, frowning at the intensity of his gaze. He was looking at me like I had pulled him from a fiery abyss, his eyes glinting with what seemed like redemption.

Without a word, he handed me the headphones and indicated me to put them on. The frown stayed on my face as I scooted closer to the screen, trying to see what he wanted me to listen to. I froze when I saw which song was queued up. This certain piece was only one minute and forty seconds long, which was the first verse and the chorus. I had the full version back at my house on a disk. The version Baralai had found was the unfinished one. I had to bite down on the inside of my bottom lip to prevent it from quivering. I knew _exactly_ which song this was. Not even Yuna and Rikku knew I had written something like this.

Right as Baralai played the song I yanked the headphones off my head and mashed my hand down on the stop button. Very bad things were happening in my life when I wrote that song and listening to it would only make me relive every single painful memory. I held my breath and counted to ten to help myself calm down; I still had my hand pressed down on the stop button like if I even attempted to lift it the song would begin to play again. I took two deep, calming breaths then lifted my eyes to meet Baralai's.

Of course, there was confusion painted all over his face. I was expecting as much, but I definitely wasn't going to divulge my entire past to him. "What's wrong?" he asked, laying a comforting hand on my arm. I flinched at the unexpected contact and shied away from him. I pulled my lips between my teeth and bit down, preventing myself from saying anything. "Paine, I know we just met yesterday, but you don't have to be scared to talk to me."

I pursed my lips and broke eye contact with him. I wanted to believe that I could trust him, I really did, but I hardly even knew him and the last time that a boy had told me I could trust him...things hadn't turned out so well. I scooted away from him. "Baralai, there are many things in my past that you won't ever find out about. Don't take it personally. I don't make a habit of talking about my past, even to Yuna and Rikku."

He was silent for a second and I thought that I might have insulted him before he started chuckling. "It's alright," he said, a smile in his voice. "Just don't forget that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

A few seconds later my redemption walked in the door in the form of my two best friends. I tried to make my sigh of relief inaudible so Baralai wouldn't hear it, but that attempt fell flat. Their arrival couldn't have been timed more perfectly.

"Painey!" Rikku's shrill voice called from the entrance. "We brought caffeine!"

Those three short words were enough to propel me out of my seat faster than I thought was possible. My love for those two had just been doubled. A large smile curled my lips up when I walked into the foyer and saw Rikku standing there holding a large double mocha latte, my personal favorite. I accepted it and gave her a quick one armed hug.

"Have I told you lately that I love you, Rikku?" I asked, taking a sip from the container.

"No, but just remember this the next time you feel the need to strangle me," she replied with a smile.

"Done deal," I said, uncaring as long as I had my caffeine.

Yuna and Rikku said hi to Baralai as they walked past him into the recording booth. Rikku sat down behind her drum set, twirling the sticks around in her hands before beating out a short rhythm, and Yuna sat down at the piano I had used to warm up with earlier. I joined them and slung my electric guitar over my shoulder. I set my latte down on the floor a few feet away so I wouldn't knock it over. I cursed inwardly when the music stand beside me didn't have any picks in it.

"Baralai," I called, getting his attention. "Look to your left and open the top drawer. There should be a few of my guitar picks in there. Will you grab one for me?"

He nodded and rummaged around in the drawer that I had indicated. He appeared a few seconds later with a pick in hand. I thanked him as he handed it to me then returned to his seat in the mixing room. He didn't put the headphones back on his head, but instead sat there and watched us.

I plugged in my guitar and turned the amp on, making sure to turn it back down before I started to play. Rikku and I took a few moments to play a few random pieces before I felt the need to consume more of my latte.

"So, Rikku," I shouted over her loud drum playing. She had continued to play even after I stopped. "Have you thought up a theme for next week's show yet?"

She stopped playing and leaned her head back, a contemplative look falling over her face. "Well, kind of," she answered, pulling a folded piece of paper out of the back pocket of her jeans. "I made up a list of the songs we haven't performed in a while." She got up and handed the list to me, hanging over my shoulder to gauge my reaction to her song choices.

"What about you, Yuna?" I asked, as I glanced at a few of the songs. "Do you have any ideas?" She had been unnaturally quiet this morning and that wasn't like her.

She shook her head and nonchalantly shrugged one of her shoulders. "You guys know I'm happy with whatever you decide," she said, smiling.

I shook my head in disbelief. She hardly ever gave her opinions on songs she wanted to perform and when she did she always gave us the option of not using it if we didn't want to. She was a people pleaser to the extreme and it was one of her tragic flaws. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled back. "How are we supposed to know if you like our song choices if you don't give us your opinion?"

Her grin widened, knowing I was only being sarcastic. "You two always make good song choices so there's never anything for me to object to," she replied, placing her hands on the piano keys and playing a soft melody.

I rolled my eyes once more, amused by her simple answer before turning back to Rikku's song list. "Well?" she asked, the hypnotizing swirls of her Al Bhed irises shining expectantly. "What do you think?"

I read through the list one more time, actually pleased with her choices. The solos that she picked out for me were a few of my favorites so I wasn't about to object. I met her eyes and nodded. "You did good, Riks," I said truthfully. "The only thing I'm worried about are all the costume changes," I tacked on a second later.

She had made little notations next to a couple of the songs indicating costume changes and those weren't exactly my favorites. More than one costumes change meant that we would have to bring in our backstage crew. We hardly ever used them because we were resourceful enough on our own.

Her face immediately fell. "But we haven't done mid-show costume changes in a long time!" she exclaimed, her voice becoming shrill once again.

"We might have to bring in our crew," I countered.

"Well...if we do, we do! I think our fans would enjoy it!" She paused and looked at her cousin, who was still sitting at the piano calmly watching our exchange. "Yuna? What do you think?"

When I looked at Yuna, I had to hold back a bark of laughter because the poor girl looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She definitely had not expected Rikku to bring her into our little argument and was probably wondering which side to take. After looking at both of us in turn, she took a deep breath. "To be honest, I agree with Rikku, Paine," she began, sending an apologetic glance my way. "She's right. We haven't done costume changes in quite a while and if we need to bring in our crew then I guess it can't be helped. Let's just take it one step at a time. We have six days."

Surprisingly, I felt much more open to the suggestion after Yuna defended Rikku's idea. I looked back over at the blonde and nodded. "Alright, she's convinced me." I temporarily lost hearing in my left ear from Rikku's scream of joy. "I'll call all of our backstage crew members either tomorrow or Monday and give them the heads up. And you," I said, pointing a finger at Rikku. "you need to start on costumes designs pronto."

"Oh, I already have! Once we're done here, I'm going home and locking myself in my room for the rest of the day," she said, an excited smile spreading across her face.

For the next few hours, we stood around the piano going over our song list, bouncing ideas for the costume changes and when they were going to happen back and forth. We decided that we would have three different costumes, but only two changes, one in the middle and one at the end. Rikku said she had a really good costume already in the works for our show opener and, from the vague hints she was giving us, I had an idea that we were going to be wearing something along the lines of hosiery.

_Whoopee..._

Every few minutes, I looked over my shoulder at Baralai to see what he was up to. I know it was rude of us not to include him, but, by the looks of it, he was getting along okay. He had the headphones back over his ears and appeared like he was enjoying himself just fine listening to our music. Our eyes met once when I looked back at him and, after a moment of hesitation, I lifted my hand and gave him a thumbs up. He nodded and mirrored the signal, letting me know he was fine. I flashed him a small smile then turned my attention back to my two best friends.

Around three we decided to break for the day and get something to eat. All of us were so hungry that we could barely concentrate on anything except our growling stomachs. We chose a fast food restaurant not far from our recording studio and the four of us binged on greasy cheeseburgers and salty french fries with enough chocolate shakes to choke a chocobo. Rikku and Yuna left almost as soon as they were done. Rikku said she wanted to get as much work done on our costumes as she could while the ideas were fresh in her mind and Yuna said she had some homework that she needed to finish, which once again left me alone with Baralai.

As we were walking out of the restaurant, Baralai's phone began ringing, making the both of us jump in surprise. He chuckled as he looked at the display and answered it. "Hi, Mom." He was silent as his mother began talking. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye a few times. "Sure thing. I'll be home in a few." He ended the call and slid his phone back into his pocket.

"Back to your house then?" I asked as I picked my helmet up off the handlebar.

He nodded and scratched his jaw absentmindedly. "Yeah." He paused and pursed his lips. "My mom said that my dad wants to meet you." He said this rather quickly and kind of under his breath, but I was still able to catch it.

The fact that my helmet slipped out of my grasp went unnoticed by me until it hit the asphalt with a sharp crack. "_What?_" I hissed, thinking that my ears had just played a very sick joke on me. Why in the world would Baralai's father want to meet me? Isn't meeting both the parents reserved for people that are dating?

Baralai's neck convulsed as he swallowed and he shrugged his shoulders, a worried look in his dark brown eyes. "I have no idea what my mom told him, so please don't assume anything. This is just as much a surprise to me as it is to you."

"You think?!" I exclaimed, my mind racing. "Does it look like I'm dressed to meet your father?" Sweats and flip-flops really weren't the right attire to meet a very successful businessman.

Baralai looked at what I was wearing again and a muscle in his neck twitched. Not a good sign. "He won't mind, really. My dad is really laid back. At least when he's not at the office."

I could tell he was making excuses to settle me down. That didn't help to calm my racing heart. I didn't even think wearing my best outfit would satisfy this man. I leaned over and snatched my helmet off the ground only so my shaking hands were occupied with something. "Well let's get going then. I don't want to keep them waiting."

I remembered how to get to Baralai's house so he didn't have to whisper directions in my ear every few minutes. I intentionally did the speed limit just so it would take us a little bit longer to get to his house. I was nervous, to say the least. Meeting his mother the other night was nothing. It was a tiny shadow in comparison to what was going to happen in a few minutes. I also had all my friends with me the other night to detract the attention away from me. Now I was all alone.

As we pulled into Baralai's driveway it felt like my heart was going to burst out of my ribcage and start bouncing around on the ground. I parked my bike next to the black sedan and killed the engine, immediately pulling my helmet off and trying in vain to fix my hair in one of my side mirrors. I hadn't styled my hair at all this morning and my bangs were laying over one side of my forehead in a haphazard mess. I tried to salvage what little of my dignity that was left while I still had the chance. Baralai was looking at me with wide concerned eyes as I set my helmet on the seat and pulled at my shirt. I stared down at my feet and cursed myself for my choice of footwear.

_At least my toenails are painted..._ I thought with ire.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to try and calm myself. "Alright, let's just get this over with," I said as I marched up to Baralai's front door with him by my side.

He wrapped his hand around the door handle and looked back at me. "You ready?"

I swallowed the lump that had settled in my throat and nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Baralai turned the handle and pushed the door open, letting me precede him inside. I had to bite down on my bottom lip when I saw the interior of his home to prevent my jaw from dropping to the floor. It looked like a museum more than the inside of a house. I stared down at the perfect coffee colored carpet and didn't even want to step on it. Baralai reassuringly patted my shoulder and pulled me into the living room, directing me to a plush chair.

"Sit here while I go find my parents," he said before disappearing.

As I sat there and waited in the crushing silence of Baralai's home, I couldn't stop my legs from bouncing uncontrollably. I thought that Baralai's father would be waiting just beyond the threshold as soon as we opened the door, but having to wait in the living room while he scoured the house to find his parents was even more unnerving. I thought I would surely go mad with the suspense of it all. The one thing I was befuddled about was the fact that Carmen had told her husband that she wanted him to meet me, not Rikku or Yuna. Just me. I had hardly said a word to her that night, – I thought I had been doing a good job at staying incognito – but now she wanted her husband to meet me like Baralai and I were somehow involved?

_I sincerely hope she doesn't think that... But what if she does?_ That horrible thought crashed onto my shoulders like an immense load of bricks.

Yes, I had stolen a few glances at Baralai the other night when we were at his mother's bed and breakfast when I thought no one was looking, but now I was sure they hadn't made it past her watchful gaze like I thought they would. He is, after all, her only son.

Hushed voices coming from somewhere behind me – I couldn't even tell, the acoustics of the room made sound bounce around and reverberate like a cave – announced the arrival of Baralai and his parents. As soon as Baralai's father walked into the room, I jumped up from the chair, trying to be as courteous as I possibly could. I breathed an involuntary sigh of relief when I saw that Baralai's father was not wearing a suit and tie, but a comfortable looking pair of jeans and a dark green polo shirt. I was in awe of how alike Baralai and his father looked, dark tan skin and stark white hair included. They had definitely been cut from the same piece of marble that was for sure.

"Paine, I'd like you to meet my father, Darren," Baralai introduced as the man in question stepped forward to shake my hand.

"It's very nice to meet you, Sir," I said, shaking his hand and trying to keep my voice from wavering.

"The pleasure is all mine," he replied, flashing a smile identical to Baralai's. "Please, come sit down." He directed me over to one of the couches then sat down on a love seat across from me. Carmen joined her husband's side and Baralai sat next to me. I swallowed again to wet my dry throat, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and even more self conscious.

"My wife has told me a lot about you and your group of friends, Paine, and I know I share her excitement over Baralai making good friends. Back in Bevelle...well it was a different story."

I glanced over at Baralai then and saw him leveling his father with a stare that could wilt flowers. I bit the inside of my bottom lip and turned my attention back to his parents. I had no idea what to say to them so instead I chose the first thing that popped into my head, which just happened to be about Baralai and a little bit of a white lie. "Gippal told me that he's shown a lot of interest in helping out with the technical part of our performances and so far he's done a really good job." I shut my mouth right there, afraid I would start rambling.

Darren smiled and met his son's eyes. "That's what we like to hear. We appreciate your help and it was very nice to meet you." Both him and Carmen rose from their seats, which meant our very short conversation had come to an end. I got up as well and shook their hands.

I almost jumped out of my skin when Baralai spoke. "I'll walk you out." His voice didn't even sound like what I remembered hearing all day today, but I knew that he was probably angry with his father over what he had said to me.

Once we were outside next to my motorcycle, I let Baralai pace around in front of me and collect his thoughts. I could tell he was conflicted; I could read it all over his face. As I watched him pace, my mind wandered back to what his father said about Baralai getting mixed up in the 'wrong crowd'. I actually found it unbelievable, even though I've only known him for a few days, that he would ever get involved with a bad group of people, but then I remembered that anything could happen with anybody and then I wasn't so surprised. Maybe getting him out of Bevelle is what helped him cut his ties with those people.

"I have to apologize for my dad," he said, stopping a few feet in front of my and lacing his fingers behind his head. "Sometimes he doesn't know when to let sleeping dogs lie." He paused and walked in a few slow circles before facing me again. "I would have preferred you find out about what happened while I was in Bevelle from me and not my dad. He's still not very happy with me about what happened."

I nodded and nibbled on the end of my tongue. I remembered what I had said to him earlier at the studio and I knew what I was about to say would sound extremely weird. "I know how hard it is to talk about the past. Believe me," I said, crossing my arms and staring down at my feet. "And I know that other people pushing you to talk about it only makes it worse. I'm not saying that I want you to tell me, that's up to you." I paused and took a deep breath. I was quickly digging myself into a hole and I needed to stop while I could still climb out. "Well, I'll see you later. I have more work to do at the studio tomorrow and tonight I'd like to get a good night's sleep."

Baralai bobbed his head in understanding as I got on my motorcycle and strapped my helmet on. Just as I was about to back out of his driveway and go home his voice stopped me. "Do you mind if I go with you again?" He asked, raising his voice so I could hear him.

I paused and flipped the visor of my helmet up. "You know, I'll have to think about that. I'll text you later tonight."

Baralai's eyes widened. "You still have my phone number?"

I frowned. _Isn't that why he gave it to me in the first place? So I would have it?_

"Um, yeah, you did give it to me after all," I pointed out.

He chuckled and dug the toe of his shoe into the ground. "Yeah."

I revved the engine as I began to slowly back out of his driveway. "So...talk to you later then."

"Okay," he said, waving at me as I turned around and sped off down the road.

The only thing I could think about the whole way home was: _Now what am I going to tell him later?_


	4. Twenty Questions

**Chapter 4**

**Twenty Questions**

* * *

As it turns out, I really had no idea what to tell him. It was slowly creeping towards nine o'clock and I knew that I had to text him soon. I was pretty sure he was waiting. I leaned back into the soft cushions of my couch and weighed the pros and cons in my head while I stared down at my phone. If I did decide to let him tag along again I wouldn't be all alone, but there would definitely be some more awkward silences between us. If I didn't let him tag along, I would probably get a lot of work done, but I would get bored really fast.

I groaned in frustration and dropped my phone in my lap then rubbed my aching temples. I was letting this boy get inside my head. I needed to stop this and letting him come back to the studio with me wasn't going to help, but I really did enjoy his company, as strange as that sounded. I groaned once more then flipped my phone open.

_To hell with it..._ I thought as I scrolled through my phone book, selected Baralai's name and started writing a text message.

**Do you really want to go with me?**

I stared at the screen for a few minutes more then, with a resigned sigh, sent it. I placed my phone on my leg and rubbed my temples, realizing a little too late that I needed him to come with me anyways because of the music I was writing for his lyrics. I wanted to experiment with the beat and he needed to be there when I did it.

_Holy Shiva, this boy is scrambling my brain already._

I almost jumped out of my skin when my phone vibrated a few moments later. I wasn't expecting him to message back so quickly. _He must have been waiting,_ I thought as I flipped my phone open to read the text.

His answer was to the point: **Yes.**

I chuckled in spite of myself. That I hadn't been expecting either. **Good, because I'll be doing more work on your lyrics.**

I had some last minute dish washing to get done while I waited for him to text me back so I trudged into the kitchen and loaded my dishwasher with the ones that wouldn't warp then filled the sink with hot water for everything else. Flimsy plastic cups and plastic plates were among the ones that would melt along with coffee mugs that had 'non-dishwasher safe' engravings on the bottoms. They were a pain to wash by hand, but it kept me busy so I didn't complain.

To prevent my phone from getting wet, I kept it on my very small dining room table, which was just big enough for three people. I only pulled out the two extra chairs whenever Yuna and Rikku came over for dinner. According to them, the food I made was better than some of the stuff they had at their own homes. When we first met, they couldn't believe that I actually knew how to cook. Rikku had actually told me she never thought a girl that looked as "rough" as I did would know her way around the kitchen. I enjoyed home cooked meals; something I picked up from my mom.

I wanted to finish the dishes so when I heard my phone vibrate, I left it alone until I had washed everything and put them in the rack to dry. I then emptied the sink and started the dishwasher. One chore down.

**What time are you gonna pick me up?**

I frowned as a thought occurred to me. His parents were filthy rich. Why in the world didn't he have a car of his own? **Nine. Don't you have a car?**

His reply came quickly, which was surprising because it was a little longer than the rest of his messages. **My parents took it away back in Bevelle when all that stuff you heard about was going on. I won't be getting it back for a while.**

Now I felt extremely dumb for asking that. I should have figured that one out sooner. **Oh... Well, I'll see you in the morning. I won't be late this time.**

**Ok.** I was pleased by his simple reply. I wasn't really a big texter. I only used that function whenever I needed to and, even then, it was sparingly.

I finished up the rest of my housework, which included washing a load of laundry – mainly underwear and socks – and vacuuming. When I was younger I had always found housework tedious just like every other child. Now I didn't mind it at all. I was the only one here, so it wouldn't get done if I didn't do it.

It was only a little bit before eleven after my few chores were completed so I got right in bed, determined on getting a good night's sleep.

The next morning, I almost fell out of bed in fright when my cell phone started ringing a few minutes before seven thirty. My eyes wouldn't focus so I didn't bother to see who was calling. "Hello?" I answered, my voice thick from sleep. Needless to say, I was just a little annoyed.

_It better not be a telemarketer._

It was silent on the other end for a few short seconds and I almost hung up when the mystery person finally spoke. "Hi, Paine. It's Baralai."

My eyes snapped open and suddenly I was wide awake. I looked back over at the clock to make sure my eyes hadn't been playing tricks on me, which I was pretty sure they were. Nope, it was indeed almost seven thirty. "Why are you calling me this early in the morning?" I asked, the words pouring out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop them.

"I'm sorry. It's...complicated." He paused and I heard him take a deep breath on the other end of the phone. "You remember the park you pass on the way to my house, right?"

I frowned, but knew exactly which park he was talking about. In fact, to be more specific, it was at least a mile and half to two miles away from his house, but who's keeping track? "Yeah."

"Well, that's where I am right now. I know that I might be pushing it, but since you're taking me with you to the studio I was wondering if you could come pick me up."

I was silent on my end for a few moments. A dozen different questions were on the tip of my tongue, threatening to spill out, but I quickly bit them back. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn't want to discuss anything over the phone. I knew it would take me about fifteen minutes to get to the park so I immediately got out of bed and started searching for something to put on. "Alright, I'll be there in a few."

"Uh, okay. Thanks," he said.

I hung up and covered myself enough so that I wouldn't freeze on my way to get him. A thick sweater and a baggy pair of sweatpants would suffice for now. Instead of putting on my sandals, I grabbed a pair of socks and quickly laced up my favorite pair of running shoes. I chuckled to myself as I saw what I looked like as I passed by my mirror on the way out of my room. Rikku would die laughing.

Baralai was standing next to a tree with his hands in his pockets and staring at the ground as I pulled up to the curb. When he looked at me I could tell that he wasn't in a good mood so I didn't say anything as he got on the back of my bike and wrapped his arms loosely around my waist. My fingers stiffened around the handlebars when he – instead of pressing his forehead into my back – laid the right side of his head against my back like he was hugging me. My right hand tightened around the brake, getting ready to stop this right here and now, but I stopped short. I don't know why I did. A lot of the things I've done recently haven't made any sense lately, especially since I met Baralai.

After about five minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. Allowing him to put his arms around my waist was one thing, but lying his head against my back was going just a little bit too far. I pulled over to the side of the road and flipped up my visor so he could hear me. When I turned to look at him, I lost my train of thought for a few seconds because the angle of the sun was hitting his eyes just right so as to make them look like liquid bronze. It was quite possibly the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

"Um, I know you're upset, but I'd really appreciate it if..." I paused, unsure of how to continue. Thankfully, Baralai caught onto what I was trying to say.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." He swallowed and ran one hand through his hair, an embarrassed smile making his mouth twitch. To prove that he was truly remorseful, he placed his hands on my shoulders instead of around my waist. I felt like smiling a little to myself; good thing my helmet was hiding half my face.

I wet my lips, feeling the need to give an explanation even though I probably didn't need to. "I don't mean to be rude or anything. I'm just...not used to that."

Baralai's smile softened and I knew that he wasn't insulted. "It's alright. Don't worry about it."

I nodded then flipped my visor back over my eyes, continuing on our way to my house.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I'll be in my bathroom," I said after we walked in from the garage.

I tossed my keys onto the dining room table and watched over my shoulder as he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. The look of stone that was plastered on his face earlier was now replaced with something that I couldn't quite place. 'Sullen' popped into my head, but that really wasn't a very accurate description either.

I huffed as I walked into my room, grabbed clean undergarments and promptly jumped into the shower.

No less than fifteen minutes later, I was motivating my hair to cooperate with me and I had almost completely forgotten about my guest down the hall until I heard him shuffling around in the living room. I instantly froze, staring at my reflection almost in shock. The realization that I had _actually_ brought Baralai to my house hit me with the force of a freight train. I couldn't believe that I had really, _truly_ invited him into my house, especially while I was showering only a few rooms away.

Once that thought had floated through my mind, I forgot about my hair and went straight into my bedroom, thanking Shiva that my bathroom and bedroom were connected. I wasn't concerned about what I was going to wear as I pulled a comfortable pair of jeans and a gun metal gray blouse out of my closet. I settled for black slip ons then ventured out into the living room to see what Baralai was up to.

I kind of wished I hadn't walked out just then.

After I moved in, I mounted a shelf on the wall about a foot above the couch and placed half a dozen photos of me and my parents on it. My father had been an avid sword collector so I had his favorite katana mounted above the shelving. Baralai was gazing at a family portrait that had been taken only a few short months before their death. My heart involuntarily clenched as my eyes scanned the shelf, resting on each individual picture. I couldn't remember how many times that I'd been tempted to take down all those photos just so I wouldn't have to feel the hurt those memories caused me.

Right when I thought I was going to lose my composure, I cleared my throat to get his attention, making him jump. He whirled around and met my gaze with wide, scared eyes like I had caught him in the act of something he shouldn't have been doing.

"Well, I'm ready," I said, a cold mask of indifference sliding into place. "Let's go."

I snatched up my keys and started briskly walking away. I heard his hurried footsteps following me when I reached the door to the garage. I slammed my hand down on the garage door opener as I walked past it. Baralai joined me just as I was fastening my helmet onto my head and climbed onto my motorcycle behind me without a word.

I drove a little faster than I probably should have been on my way to the studio. I wasn't angry at Baralai. I had those pictures purposefully displayed in my living room, so it wasn't his fault that they had caught his attention. I was angrier at myself for allowing him to come into my only sanctuary when I barely knew him, but I had to remind myself that was no one's fault but mine. The fact that I kept putting myself in a position where I was close to him – _like now_ – made me even more irritated.

_What in the hell is wrong with me? For the last three years I've stayed away from the male population entirely. So much so that a large number of my classmates think I've turned into a dike, which I'm far, far away from even considering. What's so special about him anyway?_

My mind pricked as it reminded me about the first day I met him and the mysterious shock that had passed between us when we shook hands. I didn't even want to begin to try and explain that little phenomenon. I was convinced that it was only a fluke; something like that could have been caused by static electricity or any number of things. I definitely wasn't going to read too much into it.

I jumped and almost gasped out loud when Baralai softly knocked on the side of my helmet, literally snapping me out of my trance. We were sitting in front of the storage facility and I was staring at the keypad that controlled the gate. I blinked a few times and quickly punched in the code. I felt my face grow hot as I waited for the gate to slowly slide open. Strangely, I felt the need to give an explanation about my behavior.

_What in the world is going on with me? First, I invite him inside my house, a place where only my closest friends have been, and now I feel like I need to explain my behavior to him? I must be sick or something._

All of a sudden, I really wasn't looking forward to being alone with him again.

I reluctantly swallowed that bad feeling as I pulled up next to the studio. I stayed quiet as we walked inside, more out of not knowing what to say to him. I could see Baralai looking at me expectantly out of the corner of my eye as I turned all the equipment on. The buzz of the sound equipment and the lights was the only thing to be heard for quite a while. I tried stalling all my sound tests for as long as I could, knowing that as soon as I got his lyrics and sheet music out I would have to start talking.

Much to my chagrin, Baralai spoke up, but thankfully didn't say anything about me and my sudden silence. "Sorry about this morning," he began sheepishly, staring down at the floor with his hands fisted in his pockets. He was silent for a few more seconds then looked up at me. "I just needed to get away from my parents."

The corners of my eyes twitched ever so slightly as I tried to imagine myself speaking those words. "You have no idea how bad I want to be in your position right now." My voice sounded hollow, foreign, and it was too bad I realized that I had thought out loud after the fact. My hand flew up over my mouth like I could somehow shove those accursed words back in my mouth and swallow them. I was literally shocked to my core.

Instantly, my shock turned to anger that I once again directed at myself. There was no possible way that I could be angry at Baralai for my mistake, but never had I been so loose lipped with someone I barely knew. Hell, I wasn't even like this with Yuna and Rikku most of the time.

"Sorry," I mumbled, raking my hand through my hair. I kept my eyes averted from his, apprehensive about what I would see there. "I shouldn't have said that." I sank into my chair and tried to ignore the fact that Baralai's eyes were burning holes into the side of my head.

I pulled his lyrics and sheet music out of a drawer on my right and tried to make sense out of the foreign language that the notes had mysteriously become. I was so engrossed staring at the paper in front of me that I flinched and almost threw Baralai's hand off me when he gingerly touched my shoulder. "Sometimes the things you don't mean to say are the most meaningful." His voice was merely a whisper, but his words sank into me and made me freeze in place. What I had said really was true; I really did wish that I could be in Baralai's shoes. I just shouldn't have said it in front of him.

I finally looked up at him, meeting his gaze for the first time since we arrived. "So what happened?"

Baralai let his hand slide off my shoulder as he sighed and pulled the other chair over next to me. He let another sigh escape as he sat down heavily. "We argued this morning," he began. "At first, it was just the same speech I've heard for months. 'Stay out of trouble, check in every once in a while.' Then somehow the conversation shifted to you." He stopped and looked at me.

I frowned and was sure that the confusion I was feeling was blatantly evident all over my face. "I'm not sure I follow," I said, hiding the fact that I was pretty sure I knew what the conversation was about.

He looked away from me and covered his face with his hands. His throat convulsed as he swallowed and I could hear him breathing in and out deeply. A second later, he exhaled sharply before roughly dragging his fingers down his cheeks. "It's really embarrassing. I know I only met you a few days ago, but I really do enjoy being your friend. If I told you what my parents were saying…" He paused and I could tell he was scrambling for some way to explain himself.

I turned toward him and held my hand up, stopping him from speaking any further. "Don't say anything else. If you don't think I should know, that's good enough for me."

Baralai's shoulders slumped with relief and he looked at me with gratitude painted all over his face. "Thank you. You have no idea how awkward I was feeling a second ago."

One corner of my mouth curled up slightly. _Yeah, me too._

I almost spoke that thought out loud as well, but smartly kept my mouth shut. He didn't need to know _everything_ I was thinking about. I grabbed the paper that contained the almost finished percussion notes and held it up so he could see it. "Well, I've got just enough of the beat down to see if you'll like it or not."

His face instantly brightened and he jumped out of his chair like something bit him. "Yeah, let me hear it!"

I chuckled as I got up and followed him into the recording booth, going over to the drum set and placing the sheet music on a small stand beside me. I grabbed the drum sticks from their place on the snare, twirled them around in my hands a couple times then did a drum roll. I looked over at Baralai who was staring at me and the drum set expectantly.

"Now I have no idea how you thought this would sound so just let me know if you don't like what I've come up with."

He nodded, but offered no reply. I could tell that he just wanted me to get on with it. After quickly glancing at the sheet music, I began drumming out the beat. A few seconds in, I started singing the words, which I assume surprised him because his eyes widened considerably. I played and sang through till the second run through of the chorus then stopped and looked at him.

"So?" I questioned. "What do you think?"

"It's perfect," he said, a wide grin spreading across his face. "I wanted it to sound more cocky and arrogant than anything else and you got it just right."

I smiled back as I set the drum sticks back on the snare drum and collected the sheet music. "Well, I'm glad I got it right. If I hadn't, I would have been pretty angry at you." I made my face look more serious than I actually felt to see how he would react.

Sure enough, I had to bite down on the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from laughing as the happy expression on his face turned to wide-eyed fright. "What? Why?" he asked, his voice almost frantic.

After his fearful response I couldn't contain myself any longer. I burst into laughter, earning a very confused look from the dark skinned boy beside me. I looked away from him and quickly got a hold of myself. This strange behavior of mine that reveals itself in his presence was starting to get just a little agitating.

That thought sobered me up instantly and then I turned back to him, my face serious once more. "I'm sorry," I said as I stood up. "That was a little harsh."

"A little?" he shot back as we walked back into the sound room. I could hear the smile in his voice so I knew that he wasn't that upset with me.

"I need to finish writing this music and then I have to get started on the mix for this Friday." I paused as I studied where I left off on the percussion notes then pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time. It was barely nine-thirty and it would probably only take an hour to an hour and a half to finish the music for his lyrics. I was going to be starving by then and I was pretty sure Baralai would be too.

"Actually, how about we go get something to eat after I finish writing this music?" I asked, turning to him.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'll probably need something to eat by then."

"I hear you," I replied, pulling a pencil out of a drawer. "You can go ahead and listen to more of our music so you don't get bored."

He nodded as he started up the computer and picked up where he had left off the other day. This time, instead of the silence between us becoming awkward, it felt much more comfortable and natural. I was actually able to concentrate on writing the notes and finished the rest of the percussion in a matter of minutes. It took me another hour to finish the rest. I breathed an enormous sigh of relief as I leaned back in my chair, rubbing my eyes. The hard part was finally over.

I looked over at Baralai, who had his eyes plastered to the computer screen. Sometime while I was working he had managed to find our archive of music videos. We didn't have one for every song, but the list was still quite extensive. I leaned over just far enough so I could see which video he was watching without catching his attention and just about had a stroke right there. He was listening to the song that I had written for my father after he had passed away. It wasn't a happy song by any means and I remember having to fight off tears while we were filming that video.

I took a deep, shuddering breath to calm myself, but couldn't help the tears that flooded the corners of my eyes. The reason why I wrote that song haunted me every day. The night of the accident my father and I had gotten into a fight over something that wasn't even worth it. I've punished myself so much for that fact. Even more so because we never got the chance to tell each other we were sorry and that I loved him.

"What's wrong?"

I both cursed and praised the sudden intrusion of Baralai's voice. Praised because it pulled my mind out of my morbid train of thought and cursed because he had caught me. I blinked reflexively, causing the tears pooling in my eyes to run down my face. I quickly wiped my eyes, trying to pretend that nothing was wrong and hoping Baralai would just go along with it.

"It's nothing," I said, turning away from him to wipe my eyes some more.

I jumped when Baralai's hand roughly wrapped around my shoulder and jerked me around so I was facing him. I gasped when I saw how close he was to me and at how intense his glare was. The way they were burning into mine almost made me want to shrink into my chair and disappear.

"Bullshit," he whispered harshly. "I know what I just saw and I know that it's not 'nothing'." He paused and his eyes narrowed. "Who were you singing about in the song I was just listening to?"

_He caught me again,_ I thought with ire._ He's smarter than he looks._

I sighed in defeat and looked away from him. I really didn't want to tell him, but I didn't feel uncomfortable about it either, which confused the bloody hell out of me. And on top of it all, he never tried to pry the information out of me like a certain blonde headed Al Bhed would do. It was my own damn fault that he caught me. He looked like he was genuinely concerned about me, which confused me even more.

"We aren't going anywhere until you tell me so you might as well start talking," he said, leveling me with an expectant glare.

_I've gotta give it to him. His tactics are much better than Rikku's._

I chuckled in spite of myself. I knew he was serious. I wouldn't be able to weasel myself out of this one. I swallowed before I spoke, rather against the idea of my voice cracking. "My father," I whispered. "I wrote it for my father."

He leaned back and released my shoulder, biting the corner of his bottom lip. "I guess I understand now," he said, his voice low. I could tell he was referring to how I had acted earlier when we were at my house as well as now. "I won't ask why. I figure it took a lot just to tell me that much."

I nodded. "You have no idea. So how about lunch?"

"Sounds wonderful. I'm starving."

We conversed outside next to my motorcycle about where we wanted to eat. After about five minutes of bickering back and forth, we finally decided on a small sandwich bistro that the both of us agreed on, surprisingly. The drive there only took a few minutes; the bistro was relatively close to the studio. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot my mouth began to water immediately from the succulent aromas wafting out of the doors.

"My mom told me about this place," he said as we walked through the parking lot. "She ate here a lot when my father came here for business. She loves their homemade bread."

"It's delicious," I agreed, my mouth watering just thinking about it. "Anyone that eats here can contest to that. If not, then they're lunatics."

Baralai chuckled at my choice of words as we got in line to order our food. Besides their amazing sandwiches the bistro offered a variety of different soups and even chili that they made from scratch as well as salads and a few desserts. Our wait seemed to pass by agonizingly slow while the customers in front of us received their food. When it was our turn next I fished around in my back pocket for my gil and counted it to see how much I had. I sighed in relief when I realized I had just enough for a sandwich and bowl of chili. I needed to stop by the ATM and withdraw some more cash from my bank account on my way home.

I jumped when Baralai's hand closed over mine. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked, his eyes scrutinizing me.

I frowned, not sure what he meant. "I'm counting my gil to make sure I can pay for my food."

"Put your gil away," he said, pulling a black leather wallet out of his back pocket and lifting some crisp bills from it.

I gazed at him in astonishment, still holding the folded gil bills in my hand. "Why are you doing this?"

"My parents actually raised me right," he replied, sliding his wallet back into his pocket. "It goes against my nature to not be courteous."

I continued to stare at him, absolutely dumbfounded, but acquiesced and reluctantly put my gil back in my pocket. I was getting ready to argue further, but the attendant behind the counter looked at me expectantly and asked for my order. I huffed indignantly in his direction, earning a smirk, before I turned back to the girl and ordered my food.

After we received our food, we chose a table out on the patio. The day was warm, but the misters on the overhang kept the patio pleasantly cool. We ate in silence for a few minutes, simply enjoying our food as well as being out of the studio. Well, at least I was happy to be out of the studio, Baralai I wasn't so sure about. He seemed happy enough just sitting there listening to our music.

"If you don't mind," Baralai began, taking a sip of his drink. "I have a few questions I want to ask you. Personal questions."

I leaned back in my seat, continuing to nibble on a piece of my sandwich, while I pondered all the possible meanings of 'personal questions' as alarm bells were going off in my head. I had a sinking feeling that his questions were going to take on a very Rikku-esque nature. The small blonde's quest to know more about my personal life was aggravatingly insatiable and I don't think I would be able to handle it if Baralai started acting like that.

I was just about to open my mouth to tell him no when I stopped short. There were a couple of questions that I was itching to ask him which would, in the long run, make his questions a little more bearable. A small, but reasonable compromise.

"On one condition."

"Okay, shoot," Baralai replied.

One corner of my mouth curled up as I leaned forward to grab the other piece of my sandwich. "I get to ask you some questions of my own."

His eyes narrowed slightly as he considered it, but a second later a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. "Deal."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips as I straightened up. "I've never played twenty questions before," I confessed. "Let alone with someone I hardly know."

Baralai's smile grew wider. "Who's going first then?"

"I suppose you can since this was your bright idea," I answered, mentally bracing myself for what was to come.

"Who's the boy that you write about in your songs?"

Instantly, the smile that had been on my lips died and fell right off my face. My mind began reeling, trying to conjure up an excuse. If I would have known that this was one of his questions then I would have flat out refused his little game. The question he asked me earlier about my father was nothing compared to this. I briefly thought about telling him to ask another question, that I would prefer to not answer, but I pushed that inhibition away. If I wanted him to answer my questions, I needed to answer his.

"He was the first boy I dated," I began, my voice quavering. "back when I was young and naïve." I paused to wet my throat. "He was one of those boys that enjoy playing with emotions and I was stupid enough to believe his lies. Of course, I heard from other girls that he was a liar and a cheater, but I didn't believe them. I never thought that he would do something like that, but when I caught him in the act…well it goes without saying that I finally started believing everyone. Writing those songs helped me deal with what I was going through. I'd never experienced anything like that before and I was embarrassed by the fact that I allowed it to happen. Yuna and Rikku don't even know about half of those songs. If I could go back and live that time over…I would stay away from that boy all together." I met Baralai's gaze, but his face was unreadable to me. I cleared my throat. "Now it's my turn. Your dad said you got mixed up with the wrong crowd. Exactly what crowd would that be?"

Now it was his turn to be uncomfortable. Before I was unable to read his expression, but now his emotions were splayed across it. He averted his eyes away from me and crossed his arms over his chest. I could read the conflict all over his face and I knew that he really didn't want to answer. I leaned back in my chair and just waited. He hadn't prodded me so I would give him the same courtesy.

He heaved a large sigh before turning his face back in my direction, but still not meeting my eyes. "That's the one aspect of my life that I'm the most embarrassed about. I was young and naïve too. I befriended a group of druggies, but not because I wanted to get into what they were doing." He paused and his eyes flicked everywhere except at my face. "I met a girl and that was her group. I hung out with that group to be with her."

My eyebrows shot up and almost soared off of my head at his confession. I immediately felt a connection of sorts with him. Both of us had been burned by past relationships and still carried the scars. I had to hold back from asking the myriad of questions that had popped into my head from his confession, but it was his turn to ask a question. I would have to patient and bide my time.

He jumped into his next question without hesitation. "What about the song that isn't finished?"

I inwardly swore. I should have known that question would pop up sometime. "I wrote that because he wouldn't leave me alone after the fact. I wanted to try a different style, but it doesn't sound right with the way my voice sounds. So I never finished it. Yuna and Rikku said that 'different' draws people in, but I don't agree. Even now I don't have the heart to erase it. I don't know why."

Baralai nodded, seeming satisfied by my answer. "Alright, your turn."

I checked my cell phone as I mulled over what to ask him next and was shocked to discover we had been sitting there for over an hour. "We actually should be getting back to the studio. I've still got a lot of work to do. We can continue this when we get back."

We disposed of our trash and made our way back to my motorcycle. Baralai automatically hopped on the back, but I hesitated, holding my helmet between my hands. He shot me a confused look, his dark brows furrowed.

"What?"

"I'll probably need to find you a helmet if you keep hitching a ride with me," I answered as I placed my own helmet over my head and buckled it on. "Just so I don't get in trouble with the local law enforcement."

One corner of Baralai's mouth curled up into a smile that I was quickly starting to like a little too much. I snapped my visor down over my face so he wouldn't see the faint pink tinge on my cheeks. "They haven't caught us yet have they?" he said, his smile spreading across his face.

"No, but I would rather not push my luck."

I sighed inwardly as I drove back to the studio. The fact that I was willing to answer the most personal of questions about my life to a boy I've known for a grand total of three days just so I can do a little prying of my own was astounding. I was shocked by my own stupidity. Here I was, opening up to another boy that, for all I knew, could end up screwing me over.

Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.


	5. Argument

**Chapter 5**

**Argument**

* * *

"Do you need me to help you with anything?" Baralai inquired once we were back inside the studio.

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a seat.

"Do you need any help getting next week's show ready?" he clarified, sitting down next to me.

My eyebrows, once again, came dangerously close to flying off my face. Having a little help would make my job a little easier. "Actually," I began, pulling open a drawer next to me and procuring a sheet of paper from it. "I do." I passed him the piece of paper. "That's the song line up for Friday's show. All you need to do is make a playlist then burn it to a CD. Make sure you follow my notes exactly."

"Alright," he replied, a smile on his face as he looked over the list.

"Let me know if you need help understanding my notes. I'm known for making them rather cryptic, according to Rikku." I reopened the drawer that I had been in a second earlier and pulled out a small notebook that contained all the numbers for our backstage crew. We had a total of eight people on our crew: five to help manage costumes and three for hair and make-up.

"What are you going to do?" he asked as I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket.

"I have to call our backstage crew. We rarely use them because we usually don't have costume changes in the middle of a show. I hate them, but Rikku insisted that we include some this time around since we haven't for a while." I rolled my eyes while I spoke.

Baralai chuckled. "It seems to me like she has a flair for the dramatic."

"You pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one."

With that, we both got to work on our tasks. My phone calls didn't take long at all. I spoke directly to five of them and left the other three a message, advising them to call me back. I was expecting Baralai to be poking me on the shoulder every couple of minutes wanting to know the meaning of one of my notations, but he never did. I even went as far as asking him if he needed any help, but he shook his head with a smile plastered on his face.

_Hmm…I guess him tagging along with me isn't so bad after all. Maybe I'll let him come with me more often. Maybe…_

"Hey, Paine," Baralai said after a few more minutes of silence.

I immediately scooted closer to him, thinking he needed help understanding one of my notes. "Yes?"

"Can you sing another one of your songs for me? I get to choose this time."

"Nope," I replied, immediately scooting away since he didn't need my help.

Baralai paused for a second, probably surprised by how fast I answered. "Oh…why?"

I leaned back in my chair and put my hands behind my head. "I don't do private screenings. I was in a rare mood yesterday so you got lucky. If you want to hear me sing, you'll just have to wait until Friday."

He nodded and looked back at the computer screen for a few seconds. "How about a request then?"

My right eyebrow arched dangerously as I considered his inquiry. I knew that if I agreed I would once again be leaving myself open and vulnerable to him. _Like I haven't already…_ I couldn't help the bad feeling that crawled up my spine that Baralai was going to end up hurting me. I crossed my arms over my chest and could literally feel the walls that had just recently begun to crumble start building themselves back up around me.

"I'll have to think about it," I replied, my voice like ice.

I didn't want to shut him out like this, but I couldn't stop my survival instincts from kicking in. I averted my eyes away from him and grabbed the sheet music for his song, needing something to occupy myself with. Truthfully, I was scared to look at him because I didn't want him to figure out the reason behind my attitude change. He's so intuitive it should be against the law.

To my surprise, and immense relief, he didn't say anything. I kind of wished that Yuna and Rikku would pop up to rescue me from this awkward situation. _You're the one that made it awkward,_ my mind argued, making a wave of guilt wash over me.

_No, I'm just letting him get under my skin. I can't – _

"I'm not like him, you know." Baralai's voice interrupted my thoughts and I would have laughed if I thought the situation funny, but it wasn't in the least.

_How in the world does he do that? Is he psychic or something?_

I looked up at him, my eyes wide with shock, and couldn't help my thoughts from spilling out of my mouth. "Alright, how do you do that?"

Baralai frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You pick up on exactly what I'm thinking. How do you do that?" I repeated.

"I don't know," he replied, shrugging. "It's hard for me to explain, but you're easy for me to read."

His answer didn't satisfy me in the least, but I attempted to push those bad feelings away and try to act normal towards him. I didn't feel like sitting through another few hours of awkward silences. "Well stop it. You remind me of Yuna." That was partially true. Yuna was rather intuitive herself, but Baralai had her beat. Yuna has never been able to tell me what I'm thinking.

Baralai chuckled. "I don't know if I'll be able to do that. Whenever it happens it's like I don't have control over my mouth."

I was silent for a few seconds as I sat staring at Baralai. "Okay, now that's weird." Just like I sometimes can't control what I say around him.

"Yeah, just a little," he replied. He wasted no time changing the subject, something I was extremely grateful for. "Anyways, I've finished building the playlist. Wanna check it and make sure I got it right?"

I was glad the conversation was taken off me for the time being. I knew it may not stay that way, but a moment's reprieve was welcomed. I stared down at the computer after Baralai had moved away, checking the list of songs. After close inspection, I was pleased to discover that Baralai had followed my notes exactly. Needless to say, I was impressed.

"Good job," I said, inserting a blank CD into the disc drive and burning the mix onto it. As we were sitting there I suddenly remembered a question that I had been itching to ask him. "So who called you the other day when you walked into the foyer?"

He heaved a large sigh and laced his fingers behind his head. "That was my ex-girlfriend. She's coming to Luca next weekend and wants to get together with me."

I felt a little pang of…_something_ as my suspicions were confirmed. I knew that if it had been a member of his family he wouldn't have left the room. "What are you going to do?" I asked, trying to keep my voice indifferent.

Baralai sat there for a few moments shaking his head and staring at the computer screen. "I don't know," he said finally, turning his head to meet my gaze. "I don't know."

"What exactly ended your relationship?" I knew I was taking a risk asking him straight out, but I just had to know.

"She never gave me a straight answer actually. To me, it seemed like she got tired of me or something. Like all of a sudden she just fell out of love with me." He paused and took a deep breath, acting like he wanted to say something else but deciding against it. He shook his head and stared down at the computer screen, his hands on his face.

I took the momentary silence to sink into my chair and gingerly rub my sore eyes. I was kind of hoping that Baralai was regretting his question game. "Hey, Baralai?" I began, still rubbing my eyes. I heard his clothing shift so I knew he was looking at me. "How about we stop talking about personal stuff, yes?"

"Yes," he agreed. "I think I've had enough for one day."

We spent the next couple hours, while I put the finishing touches on the music for his lyrics, talking about anything except the topic of our earlier conversation. I found out that he was very smart; he had never earned lower than a B+ his entire life. And he had been on his high school's blitzball team when he lived in Bevelle.

"Have you thought about playing Blitzball here?" I inquired.

"I have," he answered. "I'm not sure if I'm going to though."

"Why not?"

He shrugged, a nonchalant expression on his face. "I don't know. I think I might just concentrate on my grades this year." He paused and a wide grin spread across his face. "I know only nerds say that, but if I don't get good grades my parents will kill me."

I grinned back at him. "Just don't let Tidus know that you play Blitzball. He's always looking for new people to recruit for the team. And tell Gippal to keep his mouth shut too."

Baralai chuckled. "I'll be sure to do that."

Silence fell over us for literally five seconds before my cell phone went off, almost making me jump clear out of my seat. I pulled it from my pocket and laughed when I saw that it was Rikku. This time her interruption wasn't a bad thing. "Yeah?" I answered.

"_Emergency YRP meeting at my house! Whatever you're doing drop it and get over here!"_ She sounded exasperated.

I looked at Baralai out of the corner of my eye. It would take much too long to bring him home then go over to Rikku's. It would actually be kind of pointless. Baralai lived in a totally different direction than Rikku. "Do you mind if I bring Baralai along?"

Rikku was unnaturally silent on the other end of the line and I could almost hear the cogs and wheels turning in her head. _"What are you doing with Baralai?"_

I leaned back into my chair and rubbed my forehead. "I brought him to the studio with me because I'm working on his lyrics, remember?" On second thought, I wish she hadn't called. Now that she's figured out I'm spending time with Baralai she's going to take every chance she can to tease me about it.

"_Oh yeah,"_ she replied, like she had forgotten. _"Alright, bring him with you. See you soon!"_

She hung up before I even had a chance to say anything else. I snapped my phone shut and returned it to my pocket. "Feel like tagging along to Rikku's house?" I asked, rising from my chair.

Baralai shrugged as he got up as well. "Sure, I think we've been here for long enough anyways."

"Yes, we have indeed," I agreed as we left the studio.

I was assaulted by Rikku before I even had a chance to take off my helmet. She ran up to me and jumped into my lap, almost knocking me off my motorcycle. "Painey, I'm so glad you're here! Come on, Yuna's in my room already!" Then she jumped off me and ran back towards her house just as fast as she had come.

I growled in irritation as I yanked my helmet off my head and followed her inside with Baralai trailing close behind. I waved hello to her father and brother before ascending the stairs leading to Rikku's room. Yuna was sitting in Rikku's oversized bean bag chair and Rikku was sitting on her bed with about a dozen unfinished costumes surrounding her. I crossed to the far side of the room and settled into her desk chair. Baralai was still standing by the door, looking around forlornly.

"Sorry that I don't have another chair, Baralai," Rikku apologized. "Pick a spot on the floor. I got shag carpeting for a reason."

Baralai smiled sheepishly and decided to sit next to me. He looking up at me with a calm smile and I couldn't help but smile back. "So what's this emergency meeting about, Rikku?" I inquired as I grabbed a rubber ball off of her desk and began playing catch with myself.

Rikku was once again unnaturally silent, which I took as a very bad sign. When my eyes met hers the look on her face said it all. I sent her a glare that could curdle milk and waited for her explanation. She huffed indignantly and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, I used it as an excuse so you guys would come over and keep me company."

Yuna giggled from where she sat in the bean bag. "Rikku, we would have come over anyways. You didn't have to trick us into coming over here."

Rikku's cheeks flared bright red and she clamped her teeth down on her bottom lip in embarrassment. "Yeah," she said, continuing to work on the costumes. "You're right, Yunie. Sorry guys." She looked at me then and I nodded my head once, my way of telling her that she was forgiven.

After that had been settled, Yuna told us about the fan feedback she had been receiving about our upcoming show from our website. That little aspect had been all Tidus' idea and he had managed to get Yuna to help him with it. Apparently, our fans were going nuts over the fact that we were going to be incorporating costume changes. There were even a few that said we should do them more often.

"I called Tidus while I was on my way here and told him to embed a pole into his next blog post," she said, grabbing a magazine from Rikku's bedside table. "Depending on the feedback we get from that could determine whether or not we make costume changes a permanent thing."

When Yuna said that I had just thrown the rubber ball into the air and when 'costume changes' and 'permanent' registered in my brain it took my attention away from the ball for just long enough to cause it to come sailing back down, ricochet off my arm and hit Baralai in the side of the head. I failed to notice. "Permanent? Are you serious?"

"Paine, if it gets more of our fans to show up week to week then we should do it. The more fans that show up means more tickets get sold, which means we'll get paid more," Rikku argued.

I scoffed and ripped the ball Baralai offered me out of his hand. "You guys know I don't give two shits about the money. Yeah, so we'll get better publicity, but it's going to make things harder on us. If we're going to keep doing weekly shows then we're going to have to give ourselves some wiggle room. Rikku, this week you have to complete almost a dozen costumes in the next four days. How would you feel if you had to do this every week?" I paused and looked back and forth between my two best friends, gauging their reactions. "I'm not trying to ruin your fun here, but someone has to be the voice of reason. I mean we're still in high school for Shiva's sake! Once we've graduated then we can devote all of our time and energy to this, but until then we have school work to concentrate on. Please tell me that what I've said makes sense."

By the time my tirade was over I was pacing around in front of Rikku's bed and almost out of breath. Baralai was staring at me with wide eyes and a gaping mouth like I had suddenly sprouted a second head. Yuna and Rikku were sitting there staring at me with conflicted looks on their faces. I knew that what I had said made sense to them, but whether or not they would admit that to me was another thing entirely.

Yuna got up and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I sighed inwardly and was relieved that I had at least gotten though to her. "Thank you, Paine," she whispered, backing away from me. "You're right. We both know you are. We won't make any decisions right now." She hugged me again and returned to the bean bag.

The situation instantly diffused, just like that. _What in the world would I do without Yuna?_ I asked myself, smiling as I went back to my own chair. I saw Rikku's laptop charging on her desktop and, knowing about her immense music library, started it up to give us some background noise. At the log-in screen I easily typed in her password and waited for it to finish loading.

"It's kind of ridiculous that I know your passwords by heart, Rikku," I said, grinning at her over my shoulder.

"I know," she replied, diligently working on the costumes. "I guess that's what I get for having a computer hacker as a best friend."

Baralai frowned, shooting me a confused look. "Rikku, how many times do I have to tell you? I am _not_ a hacker," I stressed.

Rikku grinned at me smugly. "Don't lie just to hide it from Baralai," she said, bobbing her eyebrows up and down. If I could have, I would have strangled that look right off her face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Baralai had a smile on his face, but his eyes held suspicion.

_Alright, scratch the strangling. When I get my hands on her, I'll kill her._

"Yeah, Paine," Rikku said, backing up Baralai's question. "Go ahead and tell him what you mean."

My eyes shifted to Baralai and he was staring at me with one of his eyebrows arched. I groaned in aggravation. "I'm good at cracking passwords. And I hacked into the police mainframe once – _once _– to find out what they charged the bastard that slaughtered my parents." I heard Yuna gasp. "I haven't done it since. Happy?" I questioned, glaring at both Baralai and Rikku. "I'm out of here," I growled, getting up and slamming the chair into Rikku's desk, making the piece of furniture shudder. "Baralai, if you want me to bring you home you better come with me." I was halfway down the hall when I was finished speaking.

I waited out next to my motorcycle for him. _If he's not out here in the next thirty seconds I'm leaving without him,_ I thought as I slammed my helmet onto my head and climbed onto my motorcycle. I was about to start the engine when he came tearing out of the front door towards me.

"Don't leave me," he said, hopping up behind me. "Sorry."

I didn't answer as I backed out of Rikku's driveway and sped off down the street. The twenty minute drive back to Baralai's house seemed like it took forever. As I pulled into his driveway, I had the mind to drive off without saying anything to him, but his voice stopped me.

"I'm sorry…about what happened to your parents," he said, his voice low.

"Yeah," I mumbled, keeping my visor down. "So am I."

He pursed his lips and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I know you don't want to, but you don't have to be afraid to open yourself up to me."

"Baralai, when I first met you I thought of you as the guy that went after the prettiest, most popular girl in school. That's the kind of girl you deserve. You don't deserve someone that's damaged."

I drove away before he had the chance to answer.


	6. The Art of Avoidance, Kind Of

**Chapter 6**

**The Art of Avoidance, Kind Of**

* * *

I ignored Baralai for the next three days, which was relatively hard to do because he was in two of my classes – math and P.E. – and I passed him in the hall all day long. He sent me a few text messages, but I didn't answer him. I figured now would be a good time to put some distance between us. The fact that we had grown so close so fast scared the hell out of me. I said and did things around him that I normally wouldn't do, even with Yuna and Rikku. I felt a connection with him, but I didn't want it.

I tried ignoring Rikku too, which is an impossible feat for any normal person. If the girl were an inanimate object, she'd be the brightest, most obscene party favor in existence. Even I can't fight off her powers of persuasion for long though, especially if she has Yuna to back her up. I begrudgingly accepted her apology, letting her know if she ever did something like that to me again I'd shave all her hair off while she was sleeping. That seemed to get her attention.

It was Thursday afternoon and I had successfully completed another school day without talking to Baralai. I was exhausted. P.E. had kicked my ass today and all I wanted to do was go home and climb into a nice, warm bath, but the studio was calling my name and I had no choice but to answer it.

I was still working on Baralai's song even though I wasn't talking to him for the time being. I promised him that I would work on it and I was going to keep my promise, even though I didn't really want to. I had finished his sheet music so I could begin recording it whenever I felt like it, but I needed some practice first.

So that's what I did when I got there. I went through the guitar and percussion notes a half dozen times a piece and felt confident that I wouldn't mess up when I got around to recording them. I was just about to start going over the bass notes when I stopped short. I suddenly didn't want to practice anymore. In all honesty, the thought of practicing more made me scowl down at the bass guitar in my hands.

I was moving towards the piano before I even knew what I was doing. I traded the bass guitar for my acoustic and sat down behind the piano. Yuna had written the song that I had in my mind, which was surprising because of the sad, lamenting tone of both the lyrics and the music. The main instruments were the piano and acoustic guitar, but I couldn't decide which one to play over the other. The piano notes didn't sound right on the guitar and the guitar notes didn't sound right on the piano.

_I guess that's what I get for writing it the way I did,_ I thought as I pulled the cover off the piano keys.

I scooted back far enough so the guitar could sit on my lap with enough room for me to reach the piano when the time came. I hunched over the guitar and placed my fingers in the correct position for the first chord then lost myself in the music, my voice drowning out the tornado in my head.

This is what I did for months after my parents died. Singing was the only way that I could get rid of the pain, at least for a little while. Just sitting down in front of the piano and making up the music as I went was sometimes enough to get my mind off things. Now I did it to help me think.

I was sitting on the proverbial fence with how I wanted to resolve the issue with Baralai. I could either keep ignoring him and cut him out of my life or I could just see what plays out. I actually didn't want to totally ignore him, but I also didn't want to spend all my time with him either. I grumbled in frustration as I reached the piano solo and watched as my fingers crawled across the ivory keys. I didn't even have to think about which keys to hit. My hands knew exactly where to go. I slid my eyes shut, only thinking about the here and now.

After the piano solo was over my hands immediately jumped back to the guitar and I finished the song. Once my voice was no longer filling the air, the silence that settled around me was deafening. I briefly considered going back to practicing the sheet music for Baralai's song again, but tossed the idea out as quickly as it had entered my mind. I didn't have a deadline for his song so I could take as long as I wanted. I turned to prop my guitar up against the side of the piano and gasped in fright when I saw Baralai standing in the doorway.

"Holy shit, Baralai!" I exclaimed, gripping the edge of the piano to prevent myself from falling off the bench. "How in the hell did you get in here? And how did you know I was here?" I hadn't told Rikku or Yuna that I was going to be here and I certainly hadn't told Baralai.

Baralai laughed into his hand, thinking my flustered state was funny. "Well the door was unlocked and I called Rikku to ask if she knew where you were." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked towards me, leveling me with a stare that I couldn't decipher. "Did you write that song?" he asked, nodding his head towards the piano.

"No, Yuna wrote it," I answered, looking away from him to stare down at the piano keys. I didn't exactly know what to say to him so the silence hung in the air between us like a bad odor.

My fingers began to twitch so instead of continuing to sit in an awkward silence I placed my hands back over the piano keys and began playing a random melody to fill the air. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out a way to diffuse this choking atmosphere that had manifested around us. My breath caught in my throat when he sat down beside me on the piano bench. His body pressed up against mine, making my jean clad legs tingle. I let my lids slide open and looked at him out of the corner of my eyes. The white polo shirt and dark blue jeans he was wearing complimented his tan skin, making his white hair stand out that much more. I wanted to scoot away from him, but I was already as far over as I could get.

I stopped playing and put my hands in my lap. "Is there a specific reason why you came over here?" I inquired, talking at the piano keys and not him.

"I just want to know what I did wrong." His voice was low, like he thought someone would overhear our conversation.

I groaned to myself then rested my elbows on the piano keys, the jumble of notes sounding too loud in the quiet room. "I don't know what you want me to say." I lifted my head and met his gaze, my red eyes boring into his brown. "I hardly even know you. Why should I explain myself to you?" I paused to move away from him, unable to handle our close proximity any longer. I laced my fingers behind my head and leaned against the back of the piano, facing away from him. "'Friend' status is as far as our relationship is going. No more coming to the studio with me and I won't be working on your song again for a while." I turned around to gage his reaction, leveling him with a hard glare to let him know I wasn't joking. "Sound good to you?"

He stared at me for a few seconds before nodding his head once. His expression was once again undecipherable. "Yeah, sounds fine," he agreed. I was surprised that he hadn't tried to convince me otherwise. I didn't think he was going to be so submissive. In fact, I was caught off guard. The snappy comeback I had in mind no longer applied.

"Alright then," I replied, taking a few steps towards the door. "Um, how did you get here?"

"I walked."

"You've gotta be shitting me."

He laughed and shook his head, his white hair fluttering around his head. "I wish I were."

I clamped my teeth down on my tongue to keep from laughing myself. "I'll drive you home then. I'm done here anyways."

He nodded and followed me out of the recording room, waiting patiently for me to turn off all the lights and sound equipment before we stepped out into the cool Luca evening. I wasn't so cruel that I would make him walk all the way back home. Contrary to what Rikku believes half the time, I don't have icicles growing around my heart.

When I dropped him off at home I told him I'd see him at school, but just as I was turning my motorcycle around his voice stopped me. "My ex is gonna be here tomorrow. She's spending the weekend here with a few friends." He paused and I had the impulse to rev my engine to drown out what else he was going to say, but I didn't. "I'm thinking about bringing her to your show tomorrow night."

I had the mind to flip my visor down just so he wouldn't see my facial expression, but I didn't do that either. If he thought he was going to get a rise out of me by mentioning his ex-girlfriend he was wrong. It wasn't my problem that he wanted to meet up with the same girl that dumped him back in Bevelle. "That's nice to know," I snapped, my voice dripping with venom.

I sped off before he could say anything else. I just wanted to get home.

I breathed an enormous sigh of relief after my garage door closed behind me. After I made a couple sandwiches and a large cup of soda, I sat down in front of my television, allowing myself to relax while I watched a movie I remembered watching when I was little, back when things were less complicated.

After the movie was over, I tried to be productive by doing some housework, but I couldn't focus. So I lay down on my couch with my music player, turned the volume up as high as it would go and shut my mind off from the rest of the world. I dug my phone out of my pocket and tossed it in the direction of the coffee table, not caring at all if someone tried to get a hold of me in the next few hours.

I'm not sure how long I laid there, but I fell asleep at one point during the night. When I woke up my music was no longer playing and the digital display on my DVD player read 5:34 a.m. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was seeing straight and sat up, but the numbers didn't change. I instantly began to wonder when I had fallen asleep. It had probably been rather early because I felt rested.

I stretched lazily and got up from my couch, placing my music player on the coffee table and picking up my phone. I rolled my eyes when I saw that I had seven missed calls and just as many text messages, all from Rikku. Frankly, I wasn't surprised. Whenever I don't want to talk to anyone is when she tries to call me. All of her messages, both voice and text, simply instructed me to call her. So that's what I did, even though it was almost six o'clock in the morning.

"_Hello?"_ she answered, her voice thick with sleep.

"Good morning, Rikku. What did you need me so urgently for last night?"

"_Oh!"_ And just like that she was wide awake. _"I wanted you to come over for a final fit of your costumes. What in the world were you doing last night?"_

"I fell asleep on my couch listening to music," I replied, rubbing my eyes as I walked down the hall towards my room.

"_Oh…well can you come over now before school? I want to make sure all the measurements are correct."_

"Sure. Let me take a shower and change my clothes first." I didn't even know why she needed to double check my measurements. She knew those like the back of her hand.

"_Alright, see you soon!"_ she exclaimed, hanging up a second later.

I got to Rikku's about forty-five minutes later. As soon as she shut her bedroom door behind me she shoved a pile of costumes into my arms and directed me towards her bathroom.

"We only have a little over an hour before we have to be at school so don't take forever."

"Rikku, if you have to tell me something like that you don't know me at all." I smirked at her before shutting the door.

After trying on each costume, I stepped out of the bathroom so Rikku could inspect me. She made some minor, quick alterations to each of them then told me to leave them in her closet until we got out of school.

A horn honked outside and Rikku gasped, gathering her school books in a hurry. "Yunie's here already?" she said, snatching her phone from her bedside table. She squeaked when she saw the time. "It's after seven thirty, Paine! We gotta go!"

Whereas Rikku was scrambling about in a frenzy, I followed her out her front door much more calmly. I knew that we weren't going to be late. Yuna waved at me from the driver seat of her car as Rikku jumped into the passenger seat. Yuna waited for me to get on my motorcycle and back out of Rikku's driveway before pulling away from the curb and driving off with me close behind.

I saw the shiny black sedan that was carrying Baralai pull into the school lot and drop him off in front of the main office. I looked away from him when his gaze found my motorcycle as we parked in our usual spots. Both Gippal and Tidus were already waiting for us.

"What took you guys so long?" Tidus asked, pulling Yuna against his side after she shut her car door.

"Yeah, for a second we thought you were going to be late," Gippal remarked, grunting as Rikku leaped from the car and into his arms.

"Sorry, it was my fault," Yuna answered, shooting both boys an apologetic glance. "I was running late this morning."

"Oh, Dr. P!" Gippal exclaimed, whipping around to face me. "Can you meet me at the stadium after we get out? I want you to get some extra practice with your guitar."

I nodded. The few songs that I was playing on the guitar tonight needed to have the bugs worked out. "Alright, I'll pick us up something to eat on my down there. I have a backpack in my locker I can use."

"And you have the mix right, Riks?" he inquired, kissing Rikku's blonde mess of hair.

"Yep, in Yunie's glove compartment," she replied.

Something behind me caught Gippal's eye and I knew without turning around that Baralai was coming towards us. "Hey, Lai!" he shouted, waving at him.

I heard his footsteps stop next to my motorcycle and I turned my head just a fraction to look at him. Gippal had asked him a question that I hadn't heard and he was answering him. His hand was resting on top of my handlebars and a folded piece of paper was just barely jutting out of his hand. I frowned, wondering for a moment what it was before shaking that thought from my head and turning my attention back to my friends.

I sighed as I glanced between Yuna and Rikku as they clung to their significant others. Most times I almost felt left out. I was the only one in our group that was alone. I didn't have a family or a boyfriend.

_I don't need the latter to be happy,_ I thought. I certainly didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone. _You're going to have to learn to trust a guy eventually, Paine,_ my mind told me.

The bell signaling the start of classes pulled me out of my thoughts. Right when I pushed away from my motorcycle I felt a small tug on my back right pocket. I whirled around, getting ready to punch whoever had the balls to do that, but all I saw was Baralai walking away with his hands in his pockets. The rest of my friends didn't notice my delay and continued walking through the parking lot. I reached into my back pocket as I slowly began to follow them, frowning when my fingers found the piece of paper that Baralai had been holding earlier.

My eyes momentarily rested on his retreating back, my mind contemplating all the different things he could have written on that paper. I stared down at it as I zig-zagged though the parked cars, wondering if I should even open it. I exhaled the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding as I stuffed the note in my pocket.

Once I was seated in my desk in my first class – English – I pulled the note out of my pocket and opened it.

_I promise I'll behave. If I text you, will you answer?_

A smirk curled up one corner of my mouth as I glanced at the clock. I still had a few seconds before class started. I quickly opened my phone and sent a quick one word text:

**Yes.**


	7. Skid Mark

**Chapter 7**

**Skid Mark**

* * *

I yanked the earpiece out of my ear for the fourth time as the interference with my wireless mic overloaded it. Gippal's bright idea of equipping me with an earpiece that would allow me to communicate with him and vice versa wasn't looking too bright anymore.

"Gippal, I don't think this is going to work. I'll probably go deaf if we keep this up," I said, rubbing my ear.

I had tried placing my wireless mic in different spots so the earpiece wouldn't pick it up, but the only place that didn't make the meddlesome piece of plastic squeal in protest was the hem of my jeans. That was a good place if everyone wanted to hear me walking across the stage. The bad thing is, I need that earpiece. Gippal needed it so I could tell him when to start the background music. If our timing wasn't exact, things could go very wrong.

"Paine, I have an idea," Baralai said, his voice booming over the speakers.

"What is it?" I inquired, playing catch with the earpiece.

"Don't use a wireless mic for the songs that you play your guitar. Use a corded mic with a stand," he suggested like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Wow, Baralai, I'm impressed." I really was, believe it or not. "Now why didn't I think of that? Oh, I know. Because Gippal thought his bright idea was going to work." I paused to check the time on my cell phone. The show was starting in a little less than two hours and I had to get ready. "Get that mic ready. I'll be back soon."

As I left the stage, I was dreading walking back out once I was dressed in my costume. Rikku had definitely done her homework on hosiery and I looked like I belonged in a burlesque, which was not a good thing to be wearing in front of Baralai right now.

After I was dressed, I was just getting ready to leave our dressing room when I spied Rikku's white pull over sweater slung over the back of her vanity's chair. I grinned as I snatched it and carefully put it on, being mindful of my costume. "Hey, Rikku, I'm borrowing your sweater." She was in the bathroom so I had to raise my voice so she could hear me.

"Okay, just don't lose it!" she shouted back.

I snorted as I left the dressing room, slowly making my way back to the stage. I heard Baralai's and Gippal's muffled voices chattering away as I walked back out and swung my guitar strap over my shoulder. I stepped up to the corded mic Gippal had graciously set up for me then placed the ear piece back in my ear. I eavesdropped on their conversation, unimpressed when I heard Gippal was telling Baralai about all the 'hot' girls that were in his classes. The guy was a ladies' man at heart. He was totally committed to Rikku and knew that he couldn't touch any of the other girls we went to school with, but he wasn't against looking. He was currently trying to set Baralai up for a date with one of these girls, but he was politely turning him down.

I checked to make sure the mic was turned off so only Gippal would hear me speak. "Gippal, do you seriously think Baralai would let you set him up on a date? Do you want to scar him for the rest of his life?"

Gippal swore in Al Bhed at the sudden appearance of my voice, which made me break out into giggles. "Thanks for the heart attack, Paine." I heard him breathe in deeply and exhale just as quickly. "And I would not scar him for the rest of his life. The boy needs to get out and live a little."

I rolled my eyes as I turned the mic on. "I don't think he needs your help with that. Ready to continue?"

They were silent as I continued to practice. I had just enough time to run through all the songs I would be playing twice. When I stepped off stage so Gippal could start letting everyone inside, I was confident that I wouldn't mess any of the notes up. I watched the backstage crew arrange all of our costumes as a male member of the make-up crew did small touch ups to my face.

Before I knew it, Yuna, Rikku and myself were getting the show underway. I literally held my breath when it was time for our first costume change. I was expecting something, anything, to go wrong, but it never did. We were back out on the stage in exactly three minutes. The rest of the costume changes turned out the same way. I was shocked; I had expected the night to turn into a complete disaster. Maybe my opinion on costume changes during the show was a little biased after all. I made sure to profusely thank our crew before they left.

Once everything had settled down and I was back in my regular clothes – thank Shiva – I was outside next to my motorcycle, chatting with all three guys while we waited for Yuna and Rikku to emerge. We were going to go out to eat again and I could hardly wait. The small lunch I had bought for Gippal, Baralai and myself hadn't filled me up all the way and I was ravenous. Yuna and Rikku came out a few moments later and we left immediately for the restaurant.

"Oh, Paine, I almost forgot!" Rikku exclaimed a few minutes after we were seated at our table. "Our agent called me a couple hours before the show started."

My shoulders slumped a small amount. There was a fifty-fifty chance that the news Rikku had from our agent was bad news. "What did he say?" I asked apprehensively.

"Well, he got a call from…someone. This…person is wondering if we would be able to come up to Bevelle next week and perform with…them." The way she was avoiding speaking about the individual made the corners of my eyes twitch.

"Oh," I replied, knowing exactly who she was talking about. The 'someone' Rikku was insinuating was a male singer/songwriter that we had performed with many times before. It had been almost a year since we had last seen him. "When next week does Cainen want us to perform with him?"

Rikku didn't look surprised that I knew who she was talking about. "Saturday night. That way we can still do our show," she answered. "Oh, and he said something about wanting to perform the song you wrote together."

_Ah, hell,_ I thought, wishing she hadn't said anything about that. Baralai didn't need to know about the complicated relationship between myself and Cainen. I saw Baralai look at me out of the corner of my eye and I felt like burying my face in my hands.

"I'll get in touch with him later about it," I replied, keeping my voice guarded. "Let's not have an overly extravagant show next week, alright?"

Both Yuna and Rikku nodded, looking satisfied, until the blonde one spoke. "Can we have at least one costume change?" she asked, sounding like I was her mother and she was asking for permission.

I scowled at them, but reluctantly accepted. I didn't want to argue with them anymore about the stupid costume changes. It wasn't worth the headache. I just wanted to enjoy a night out with my friends before I had to go back to reality.

The next week passed uneventfully. Because of the upcoming show in Bevelle with Cainen, I didn't have a chance to work on any new material. I managed to get his phone number from our agent, who insisted that he call Cainen back for me even after I told him multiple times that I wanted to talk to him. Eventually it took me threatening to fire him to get him to shut up about it and bid me goodbye.

Cainen was ecstatic to hear my voice for the first time in a year. Yuna, Rikku and I had met Cainen shortly after we had risen to fame. We became extremely close and would go to Bevelle about twice every year so we could see him. Mine and Cainen's relationship started to get interesting after the fiasco with my ex-boyfriend. One weekend after our show, I had gone up to Bevelle by myself just to get away from Luca. I hadn't meant to meet up with Cainen while I was there. I hadn't even called him to tell him I was in town. Rikku had been the one to take the liberty and let him know everything that had been going on.

The next thing I knew, Cainen was sitting in my hotel room with me crying on his shoulder and explaining what happened in greater detail. I thought of him as one of my best friends so I wasn't at all prepared when he kissed me. I didn't exactly know how to react; I had come to Bevelle to get away from boy drama, not jump right back into it head first.

I was so shocked in fact that I almost got up and left Bevelle right that second. I never knew that Cainen felt that way towards me. Every teenage girl in Bevelle was in love with him and I was under the impression that he had a girlfriend. After seeing the shock on my face he quickly apologized and asked me to stay, saying that he would make up for his momentary lapse in judgment to me. I agreed, but had no idea how much trouble that one simple answer would give me later on.

Sunday evening after I had checked out of my room, Cainen and I were standing next to my motorcycle when he decided to drop a bomb on me. He told me that he had feelings for me, that he had for a while, in fact. He just didn't have the courage to tell me. Too bad that I found this out after I'd had my heart shredded by an insensitive jerk.

So to make a long story short, I ended up telling him that I couldn't return his feelings. He understood and said he would wait. After that our relationship went back to the way it used to be, but I could tell what he was thinking about every time he looked at me. I should have been unsettled because of that, but, strangely, I wasn't.

Our conversation over the phone had been surprisingly normal as well. He was excited about seeing all of us again. He talked to me about the song we had written together and asked if I would be willing to play lead guitar for a few of his other songs, something he had never asked me before. I accepted immediately and he sent the sheet music for the songs he wanted me to play in an e-mail so I could print them out.

"_You do remember how to play our duet right?"_ he inquired, a smile in his voice.

"Of course I do," I answered, knowing he was only messing with me.

So fast forward all the way to Saturday. We were making the three hour drive to Bevelle. Yuna, Rikku, Tidus, Gippal and Baralai were all stuffed into Yuna's car with our costumes and two of my guitars in her trunk with me following behind on my motorcycle.

I cautiously lifted my left hand off the handlebars and stretched my arm over my head, flexing and unflexing my fingers. I did the same on the other side. The vibrations from the handlebars were starting to make my arms hurt, but I didn't dare to drive with just one hand. An eighty mile an hour crash would ruin my night.

I huffed as I flipped my visor open, blinking rapidly as a blast of air hit my sunglasses. It was a warm day out so the inside of my helmet got hot quick. I was getting bored with the scenery; we wouldn't be going through Macalania Forrest for another half hour and even then all I would be staring at for another hour is trees, trees and more trees.

So I settled for staring at Yuna's license plate and going over guitar notes in my head.

Before I knew it we were driving through the outskirts of Bevelle. I smiled to myself, relieved that I had found something to occupy my time. Cainen told us to meet him at the stadium so we could run through the show once and have the three boys help them with setting up the equipment.

I was nervous about seeing Cainen with Baralai there watching me. He didn't know about my history with him. The only thing Baralai knew was that we had written a song together. I wanted it to stay that way too. I was the last person that needed two boys getting territorial over.

Baralai and I had continued to talk over the past week, but I had kept to what I had said and refused to bring him to the studio with me. The next time he was allowed to come back wasn't until I have the music for his song completely finished, which isn't going to be for a while. Although, I have to give him some credit for staying true to his word. He was, in fact, behaving himself. Whenever we talked or spent any time together, he never brought up anything about my past and I did the same with him. Our relationship was actually at a point that I was comfortable with and I wasn't on edge around him anymore, which was saying a lot.

But, oh boy, was I on edge while Cainen and I were practicing our duet.

Both of us would be playing our electric guitars with the small exception of me playing a small acoustic piece at the beginning. Baralai and Tidus were taking a break from their work when we began to practice. They were standing by the end of the first row of seats and staring up at us. I swore Baralai's eyes were boring holes into me while I sang. Our gazes met once and I almost forgot to keep singing. The intensity of his stare shook me to my very core. He had never looked at me like that before.

He broke eye contact a second later and I was able to concentrate again. They stayed until the end of our duet then went back to work. I was hoping that Cainen hadn't noticed Baralai watching us, but, of course, I'm never that lucky.

"Who was that?" Cainen inquired casually as we carried our guitars off stage.

I swallowed nervously and decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that boy with the tan skin and white hair." He paused and smirked. "Don't try to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Who is he?"

I glared at him, wishing he hadn't asked. He didn't need to know about Baralai. I've known Cainen to be jealous and if I told him about Baralai now that's all he would be thinking about during the show. I paused and briefly thought about what Baralai really was to me. He was my friend, yes, but is that all?

"Let's just concentrate on the show right now. I'll talk to you after." I needed the extra time so I could get what I was going to say straight.

Cainen smiled and nodded. "I'll hold you to that. You better go get ready."

He left me backstage wondering what in the hell I was going to tell him later.

"Paine, what do you mean you're staying behind?" Yuna asked, confusion making her eyebrows scrunch together.

I had just loaded my guitars into Yuna's trunk; Rikku and the guys were gathering all of the costumes inside. Yuna was the only one that wouldn't freak on me and start hammering me with questions. I also didn't want Baralai to know where I was going. If he seemed on edge with Cainen earlier then I could only imagine what he would think if I was meeting up with him alone.

"I need to talk with Cainen. It won't take long, I promise."

Yuna crossed her arms and narrowed her bi-colored eyes at me. She was quiet for so long I thought our friends would walk out before I had the chance to make myself scarce. "Alright," she finally said. "I'm calling you when we get back to Luca and you better answer."

I smiled. "Yes, Mother," I replied as I walked over to my motorcycle. "And I promise to answer my phone."

She waved as I drove past her, an expression that I couldn't read on her face. It could have been concern, but I wasn't sure. I was meeting Cainen at a small park near the outskirts of Bevelle. I still had no idea what I was going to tell him. This talk wouldn't take long – hopefully – so there was no need to meet at a restaurant even though I was hungry. I had plans to stop at a gas station on the way back to Luca to fuel up. I could find something to eat there.

Cainen was leaning up against his sleek sports car when I pulled into the deserted parking lot a few minutes later. The sickly yellow glow of the lamp posts washed all the color out of our surroundings, turning the deep red of Cainen's car to a disgusting orange.

"Good job tonight," he began after I had taken off my helmet. "So tell me about this Baralai." He wasted no time in getting straight to the point.

"In truth, there really isn't much to tell. I only met him a couple weeks ago." I paused to sort out my thoughts. "I honestly have no idea what he is to me. He's already expressed his interest in me, but I'm not sure how to respond to him."

Cainen's eyebrows rose slightly in interest. If he reacted to my words negatively in any way he was doing a very good job of hiding it. "Go on," he urged.

"And you know how I handle things like that," I said, giving him a pointed stare. "I only managed to avoid him for three days. He found me at my studio and from then on I couldn't avoid him anymore. He promised to behave himself."

A knowing smile turned the corners of Cainen's mouth up. "He seems like he's a good guy. He's a hard worker; my stage hands told me as much. If he hurts you, he's going to be hearing from me." His smile grew wider and even reached his eyes.

I was slightly shocked at Cainen's words, wondering if I had heard him right. It was either my imagination or he had just given me his blessing to pursue something with Baralai. I was a little confused. I thought that Cainen would feel threatened by him.

It took me a few seconds to find my voice again. "Excuse me if I look a little confused. I'm trying to figure out if I heard you correctly," I said, rubbing my ears for dramatic effect.

I had to hold myself back from jumping in fright when he started laughing like I had just told a funny joke. I crossed my arms and patiently waited for him to calm down.

"Paine, I realized a long time ago that you'll never again give your heart away to someone that you know might break it. If you thought Baralai was going to do that you wouldn't even waste your time with him."

At his words, it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Cainen was absolutely right. I found it hard to believe that I hadn't figured that out sooner for myself. This boy that I haven't seen or talked to in over a year knew more about me than I knew about myself. Truthfully, I was actually kind of proud. He had come a long way and matured a great deal. The old Cainen wouldn't have been so calm.

I wasn't really sure how to react so I did the only thing that made sense: I hugged him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him like I would never see him again. He snaked his arms around my waist and squeezed me just as tightly, his breath rustling the hair on the side of my head. We stood there like that for quite a while.

"Thank you," I whispered, moving away from him. "I'll see you later."

"You bet. Drive safe, please."

"Don't worry." I pulled out of the parking lot and let my headlight cut through the night on my way out of town. My friends had a pretty good head start on me, but I wasn't in any kind of rush to catch up with them.

I don't remember how long I had been driving. I don't even remember how fast I was going. It could have been the speed limit.

All I remember is seeing a flash of movement to the right of me, losing control of my motorcycle and flying through the air.


	8. Missing

**Chapter 8**

**Missing**

* * *

When I started to come back to consciousness, I was freezing cold and in pain. Each breath sent liquid fire coursing through my chest, causing me even more agony. I was afraid to move at all, afraid that I had broken everything when I –

Wait… What happened?

I stayed behind to talk with Cainen then left. What happened after that?

I vaguely remembered something darting out of the trees, an animal maybe? My throat convulsed as I remembered the crash, remembered flying through the air and crashing into the trees then nothing. My heart started to race in my panic and I was helpless to stop it. My fingers began blindly raking the ground like they were looking for something and I suddenly remembered my cell phone.

I went to reach for it, but both my front pockets were empty. I knew that it wouldn't be in either of my back pockets. I never carried my phone there when I drove. I frantically searched the pockets of my riding jacket, but it wasn't there either.

My panic rose up into my throat and threatened to choke me. I didn't know how badly I was hurt and I didn't know where my cell phone was. My heart nearly stopped when I thought about my friends. Yuna was going to be calling me when she got home and I wasn't going to be able to answer her.

_I have to find that phone._ That thought blazed through my brain and propelled me into action.

I carefully removed my helmet and thanked Shiva I had been wearing it; I would probably be dead without it. After tossing my helmet to the side, I once again started searching around my body for my phone. It was pitch black around me so I couldn't make anything out. The branches above me cut off the small amount of light the moon was giving off.

My panic started to rear its ugly head again when I couldn't find any trace of my phone. I cautiously lifted my head to look around and was extremely relieved that I could do that much. At least now I knew my neck wasn't broken. I tried squinting my eyes, but I still could see nothing but the inky darkness around me.

Then I made the extremely foolish decision of trying to roll over onto my stomach.

The pain I felt when I had woken up came screaming back to life and flared even hotter than before. The pain took my breath away and I immediately flopped onto my back and laid there gasping for breath, praying for a reprieve. That's when I blacked out.

When I came back around, I had no way of knowing how much time had passed. The night was still an inky black around me and I was shivering so bad my whole body was quivering. Tears began to burn in the corners of my eyes as the thought of being stranded out here went through my mind. If I couldn't crawl towards the highway then the chances of anyone finding me was practically next to none.

_What am I going to do now?_ I thought with disdain.

A couple tears fell down my face and I angrily wiped them away. I would not break down and cry! Crying wouldn't help my situation at all. The only thing that would help me right now is finding my phone.

So, with renewed vigor, I lifted my head off the ground to determine which direction I wanted to go. I thought I could barely make out my motorcycle if I squinted hard enough. If I could only flip over on my stomach and turn around, I was sure I'd be able to crawl towards it.

I let my head fall back onto the ground and took a couple deep breaths, preparing myself for the pain I knew was going to come when I rolled over. I flexed my hands into fists, sucked in a deep breath and rolled. I valiantly tried to bite off my scream, but it fought and clawed its way out of my throat. I heard a sickening series of cracks and came to the realization a tad too late that I had broken some of my ribs during the crash. My vision swam and, try as I might to fight it off, I couldn't prevent myself from passing out again.

When I came to I was shivering and sweating at the same time. My whole body was quivering, but whether it was from the cold or the pain I wasn't sure. My eyes were refusing to work correctly. Every time I tried to focus on something small dots of color would dance in my vision and make my head swim. More tears formed in the corners of my eyes the moment I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to my motorcycle.

_I'm going to be stuck out here for who knows how long. I might even die out here. Lovely thought…_

I couldn't stop all the possibilities that flew through my mind of all the different ways I would meet my end. I buried my face into the damp grass and sobbed. I briefly looked on the bright side; I would finally see my parents again.

_Boy, will they be surprised to see me,_ I thought with ire.

I heard silent footsteps approaching me and I began to shake with joy. Someone had found me! I wasn't going to die after all! I slowly lifted my head, a smile on my face, but what I saw immediately made dread start bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

Enormous blue fur covered paws with claws the size of my fingers were so close to me that I could smell the musky scent of the forest permeating from them. The exuberant thoughts from a few moments ago were completely wiped from my mind. I knew I was staring at the feet of the creature that would bring my death. My fingers dug into the soft ground and I squeezed my eyes shut, preferring not to look my killer in the eye.

After an agonizingly long time, the creature had remained still in front of me. I quickly deduced that whatever this creature was it wasn't here to kill me or it would have done so already. I quickly swallowed the fear that threatened to claw its way back up my throat and looked up.

At first, I wasn't sure if my eyes were working correctly yet. I blinked rapidly to make sure this wasn't some specter of my pain filled mind and was thunderstruck to discover what I was seeing was real.

The creature before me was a Ronso, a tall, lion-like humanoid that lives on the snowy peaks of Mt. Gagazet.

I racked my brain, trying to remember all the things I had learned about Ronsos when I was younger, but as I stared into the bright yellow eyes of the Ronso standing over me I couldn't remember a damn thing.

My vision started to turn black around the edges and I knew it wouldn't be long until I passed out again. If this Ronso wasn't here to kill me then maybe he could help me. "Please," I croaked, my voice foreign to my ears. "Help me." Those last words before consciousness once again slipped from my grasp were whispered so quietly that I would be impressed if the Ronso even heard them.

For a while I was flitting in and out of consciousness. Every time I opened my eyes it was like I was looking at the world through a wall of water. I could feel myself moving, but I couldn't tell which direction I was going. I was wondering where the Ronso was bringing me and hoping that he got wherever he was going quick.

All the while, in the back of my mind, I was thinking about my friends. I knew by now that they were going nuts trying to figure out what happened to me. I couldn't even begin to imagine what they were thinking. The only thing I could do was wish for a way to contact them.

What felt like only a few minutes later, muffled voices brought me to the surface of consciousness. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but their tone sounded frantic. When I opened my eyes I was momentarily shocked to find myself inside a make shift hut, staring up at the ceiling. I must have been sleeping for much longer than I thought. And I was warm. The inside of the hut was dim, but I could see a large animal skin blanket covering me. I smiled in spite of my situation. I may be hurt, but it was a whole lot better than being cold and hurt at the same time.

I accidentally took a bigger breath than I should have and gasped as a hot flash of pain ricocheted around in my chest. I bit down on my bottom lip as I waited for the fire in my rib cage to turn into a simmer.

When I turned my head to get a better look at my surroundings the sight of two Ronsos staring down at me made me jump in fright and cry out as I aggravated my broken ribs. The Ronsos jumped as well, surprised by my outburst, then stepped all the way inside the hut. They kneeled beside me and gazed at me for many long, silent moments. Eventually I couldn't handle the silence any longer.

"Where am I?" My throat and mouth were parched, making speaking difficult.

Instead of answering me, the Ronso closest to me – I was guessing it was a female because of the absence of a horn – picked up a stone cup off the floor and gently lifted my head, placing the cup against my lips so I could take a drink. The water was ice cold, but very satisfying. I drank all the water down before I knew it.

"You in Ronso Village," she said, placing the cup back on the floor. "You badly injured."

I stared at the Ronso female dumbly for a few moments, more surprised that they could form coherent sentences than the fact that I could understand them. "I need to get home." I had spoken before I even realized what I wanted to say.

Sadness seeped into the Ronso's eyes as she shook her head. "Your injuries too severe. Need to heal first."

The knot in my stomach got larger at the Ronso's words. My friends would hold my funeral before I healed. "I need to find some way to contact my friends in Luca. They probably think I'm dead."

She looked at the Ronso sitting by her side and seemed to have a conversation with him using only her eyes. After a few seconds, she nodded her head and brought her intense gaze back to me. "This Kimarhi Ronso. He leads hunting party. Speak with him. He help you get message to friends."

I thanked her as she walked out. Kimarhi scooted closer to me, remaining silent as he inspected me. I narrowed my eyes at him, getting the feeling that those big yellow eyes of his were somehow familiar to me. That's when it hit me. "You're the one that found me. You saved my life." I'm not exactly sure how I knew. Pretty much every Ronso's eyes looked the same. It was just this gut feeling I had.

He nodded once, never saying a word.

"Do you think you could deliver a message to my friends for me?" I asked, wondering only for a moment if he could really understand me.

He nodded again.

"Okay," I began, not very confident in his communication skills. "I'll need something to write on then."

He stared at me for a few more seconds before getting up and briefly leaving the hut. He returned moments later, holding an ancient piece of parchment and a stick of charcoal. As I held the piece of charcoal in my hand, I pondered about what I would write and, most importantly, who I would address it to. One of the thoughts that kept popping into my head was the fact that I had one chance to get this right so I better not screw it up.

Kimarhi stared at me the entire time I was composing my letter; I had decided to send it to Yuna. She would be the most worried about me I knew. I was strangely at peace with Kimarhi watching me so closely. It was almost like he was protecting me and it was extremely comforting.

Once my letter was complete, I handed it to him. "When can you deliver it?"

"One week," he grunted, rising from his seat. I was surprised that he had actually spoken. I also had a feeling that he wasn't even close to finished with surprising me.

"Why so long?"

"Ronso leave mountain only to hunt. Kimarhi make special trip to Luca for you." Kimarhi got up and looked down at me. "Rest now. Healer will visit soon."

I sighed as I watched him leave, wishing there was some other way to let my friends know I was okay. This was going to be a long week.

* * *

**(Yuna)**

"What do you mean you don't know where she is?" Baralai asked me, panic beginning to well up in his eyes.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to keep my own panic from rearing its head. It was Monday morning and Paine still hadn't come home. "I tried calling her all day yesterday, but it went straight to her voicemail every time. I called Cainen to see if she was with him, but he said he watched her leave. Rikku and I drove by her house this morning, but no one was there."

"Did you call the police?" Gippal asked.

"They said she won't be missing until twenty-four hours has gone by. If I haven't heard from her by the time school is over, I'm calling them back."

Baralai ran his hand through his hair, stress painted all over his face. "Has this ever happened before?"

I shook my head, wishing that Baralai would calm down. "Never. This is the first time she's stayed to talk to Cainen."

"Do you know what she was going to talk to him about?" he asked, pacing back and forth in front of my car.

"No, she didn't tell me. I could tell by the way she was acting that it was important though." I wasn't so sure if I should be telling Baralai anything about Paine and Cainen's relationship. I knew she wouldn't be happy about it.

"Then maybe it's relevant. Maybe the reason why she's missing is because of what they talked about."

I pursed my lips and squeezed the bridge of my nose. I knew what they had talked about. Cainen had told me when I called him. "No, their conversation wasn't relevant." I knew that answer wouldn't satisfy Baralai. I already knew what his next question would be.

Baralai narrowed his eyes and stopped pacing, leveling me with an intense stare. "You know what they talked about." He didn't state his remark as a question because he already knew that I knew.

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at my cousin. The small blonde Al Bhed was staring down at the ground, concern and worry creasing her forehead. I wouldn't be getting any help from her this time. I breathed in deeply once more and met his gaze unwaveringly. "You. She talked to him about you."

Baralai's eyes widened and his mouth opened only slightly. I could tell that my news had been an extremely unexpected piece of information. I'm pretty sure the amount of questions occupying his mind just doubled, but the bell rang before he could ask me anything else.

He remained silent while we walked towards our first class.

Rikku stopped me before I walked into my classroom and the look in her eyes told me that I needed to listen to her. We still had a few minutes before the final bell so I turned all my attention to my cousin. "What is it, Rikku?" I asked, wrapping my hand around her wrist reassuringly.

"What if she crashed?" she mumbled, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. "What if she's lying out there hurt? We need to go look for her, Yunie."

I pulled her into a tight hug, attempting to help her calm down before any of our other friends noticed her distress. I hadn't even thought of the possibility that she had crashed. "We'll go look for her after school. I'll call the police back if we don't find her," I whispered into her ear.

She nodded as she pulled away from my embrace, wiping the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, the same exact sweater that Paine had borrowed just a few days ago, and scurried across the hall. I walked into my first period class room just as the last bell began ringing. I sighed heavily as I sat down in my desk and pulled the homework that was due out of my folder, wishing the day was over already.

I couldn't have been happier when the final bell rang. I rushed to the parking lot, not surprised that Rikku and Tidus were already waiting for me. I sighed as Tidus enveloped me in his strong arms and I buried my face in his shirt, breathing in his cologne to help calm me.

"Are you sure it's okay with your coach that you miss practice?" I asked, looking up into his gentle blue eyes.

He nodded. "Already talked to him. I explained everything and he doesn't have a problem with me missing out today. The only one that's going to be angry is my old man."

I closed my eyes and rolled them beneath their lids so Tidus wouldn't see. I really did love Jecht, but, in my opinion, he expected too much from his son when it came to Blitzball. He may have been a professional Blitzer for over ten years, but he didn't need to hold his son to the same standards he himself practiced.

"I hope he doesn't find out then," I replied, popping open my trunk so we could put our books inside it.

I was about to ask Rikku how her day had been when I noticed she was leaning up against the passenger door of my car with a heartbroken look on her face. I approached her slowly, feeling the sting of tears when I saw her trying desperately to keep from crying, but failing miserably. "Yunie," she whimpered, her emerald eyes filled with turmoil. "what if…what if we find her and she's –"

"No, Rikku, stop!" I shouted, cutting her off so she couldn't finish her sentence. "That's not going to happen. Don't even think about that, okay?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes, sniffling loudly. I unlocked the front passenger door so she could sit down. Once Rikku was safely inside, I closed the door behind her and turned back to Tidus. He sent me a reassuring smile and stroked my cheek. I smiled back at him then gazed across the busy parking lot in search of our remaining two friends. I sighed in relief when I saw Gippal and Baralai making their way towards us. Both of them looked like they were walking across the lot towards their deaths.

_Please be alright, Paine. Don't leave us like this._

Ten minutes later we were speeding down the highway towards Bevelle. Everyone, except myself, had their faces plastered against the car windows, scanning the landscape for any sign of Paine or her motorcycle. The closer we got to Bevelle, the slower I went. In fact, I had to turn my hazard lights on so I wouldn't get hit. We were only about an hour outside of Bevelle and still we had found nothing. I was beginning to grow more and more distressed. If she hadn't crashed then –

"Yunie, stop! There! Over there!" Rikku exclaimed, bouncing in her seat. "I see her motorcycle! Oh no!"

I slammed my foot on the break and pulled over onto the shoulder. Rikku jumped out of my car before it was completely stopped and sprinted back toward where she saw Paine's motorcycle. I threw my car into park and quickly followed her. Both of us were screaming Paine's name before we even reached the sight of the crash. I heard the guys following close behind, yelling just as loud as I was.

I was so scared of what we would find. Would we find her…_dead_? Barely alive?

When I reached the crash site, Rikku was already searching the wreckage. My heart plummeted into my stomach when I saw the state of Paine's motorcycle. Pieces of it were lying all over the place; the front wheel had been completely broken off and the rest of it was merely a pile of useless, twisted metal. I ran by Rikku and began to frantically search the bushes for any sign of her, praying that I would find her.

"I found her phone!" Rikku exclaimed.

I rushed back where Rikku was standing, clutching Paine's broken phone in her hands. I gasped when I saw it. It was broken completely in half and the screen was cracked. "That's why our calls kept going to her voice mail."

Gippal, Baralai and Tidus joined us, disappointment on their faces. "There's no sign of her. We found some pretty big animal tracks leading off toward the Calm Lands though," Tidus remarked.

Rikku dropped Paine's broken phone like it had suddenly become scalding hot and gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh, Yunie!" she exclaimed. "An animal got her! She's dead!" She fell on me and buried her head into my shoulder, totally losing her composure.

I clamped my teeth down on the inside of my cheek as my legs gave out from underneath me. Rikku and I sank to the ground as I looked toward Tidus for some more reassurance, but he was looking down at the ground as well. For some reason my eyes found their way to Baralai and I had to bury my face in Rikku's thick blonde hair as the tears I had been holding back fell down my face.

Baralai's reaction, not Rikku's, broke my heart. I hadn't seen such an expression on anyone's face since my father's after my mother passed away. It was pure anguish and I couldn't stand to look at him. He had his hand firmly clamped over his mouth with his eyes tightly squeezed shut, but even then tears were still able to leak out from beneath his lids. His unoccupied hand was wrapped around his hip, gripping it so tightly that his tan knuckles were bone white.

As I sobbed into Rikku's hair, I didn't want to believe that Paine was dead. I just couldn't accept it. How could something like this happen to someone like her? I didn't understand…


	9. Never Worth The Risk

**Chapter 9**

**Never Worth the Risk**

* * *

**(Yuna)**

Over the next few days I watched Baralai slowly fall apart. He was like a battery operated toy running dangerously low on juice. I knew it wouldn't be long until he broke and when he did there would be no way to fix him. The thing that really killed me was the knowledge that Paine was the only one that knew how to breathe life back into him and she was gone. It was a cruel twist of fate that she had been taken away right when I could finally see a glimmer of happiness in her life.

But, even though the police had traveled as far as the Calm Lands in search of her body, they couldn't find a single shred of evidence that she was alive. So they told us to assume her dead. Baralai refused to give up hope, he refused to believe that she was dead, yet every day that passed with no news was destroying him.

Rikku and I couldn't bear to start putting together her funeral arrangements. Every time we tried, we ended up breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably in each other's arms. We managed to put together a playlist of songs when we weren't crying. We also decided to stop performing. Our group just wasn't complete without her. She was the glue that held us together. It would be a while before either of us would be singing again.

After almost a week had passed, it felt as though I was moving in slow motion while everyone else around me was moving at normal speed. I had known her my whole life it seemed. Rikku and I even knew her real name, which was before she lost her parents. It had taken us weeks to get used to her new moniker. A weak smile pulled my lips up as I remembered she had to correct her teachers on the first day of every school year; something that seemed, to me, to be much more trouble than what it was worth. She didn't have the heart to ask the court to change her name. I wasn't exactly sure why. I knew she wouldn't have liked it, but I thought it only proper that we use her real name at her funeral.

So, going against our better judgment, both Rikku and I went to the studio with the list of songs we wanted to play at her service. We knew that we probably wouldn't get anything done and end up crying as soon as we walked through the door, but we both knew that we needed to do this. For us and for Paine, we needed to be strong.

When we pulled up to the storage facility's gate we looked at each other, building up the gumption to go inside. The studio had been Paine's sanctuary, she had spent almost all of her time there and walking through that door was going to be so _hard_. Without giving myself a chance to give it a second thought, I quickly typed in the gate code with shaking fingers and slowly drove past all the drab buildings, my heart racing faster and faster the closer we got to the studio. I parked in front of the door and looked over at Rikku.

"Well, are you ready for this?" I asked, turning my car off.

My blonde cousin took a deep breath and screwed a smile onto her face. "As ready as I'll ever be. Let's go, Yunie."

We reluctantly walked through the foyer and I held my breath as I sat down in front of the computer. I started it up as Rikku sat down next to me, looking very much like a porcelain doll. "Let's just get this over with," I said, pulling the piece of paper that contained the list of songs out of my pocket and unfolding it. I took a few seconds to look at the list while the computer booted up.

I heard Rikku suck in a sharp intake of breath and looked up at her with a frown on my face. "Yunie, look," she whispered, pointing at the computer screen.

My frown deepened as I looked from her to the computer and my brows jumped up into my hairline when I saw that Paine had left something running on the screen. It looked like a video file, but of what I couldn't tell. I'd have to watch it to know what it was about. I turned to my cousin and saw the flames of curiosity burning in her emerald eyes.

I leaned forward and pushed the play button without giving it a second thought.

When I saw Paine on the screen adjusting the video camera tears immediately sprang to my eyes, but I held them in. Once she had the camera adjusted the way she liked it, she zoomed it in only slightly then sat down on a stool with her acoustic guitar in her lap. She bit down on her bottom lip and chewed on it absently for a good twelve seconds before she spoke.

"_I don't even know why I'm recording this. I'm probably never going to show it to you. I literally thought of this song today while I was sitting in class. I don't have it written down anywhere. It's all up here,"_ she said, tapping her temple. _ "Nothing about what I'm about to do makes sense so I'm sorry. I don't ever think I'll understand it."_

She started playing then and the melody was beautiful; something I had come to expect from her over the years. I couldn't quite determine who she was addressing, but as soon as she reached the end of the first verse and the chorus the realization hit me like a brick to the face.

"Oh no, Rikku," I murmured, looking over at her with wide eyes. "She wrote this song for Baralai. She's singing to him."

She nodded, trying to hide half of her face behind one hand and wipe some stray tears away with the other. I copied her and clamped my own hand over my mouth, preventing myself from saying anything else until the end of the video. As soon as the song was over, I fished my phone out of my pocket and fumbled as I tried to open it.

"Yunie, what are you doing?"

"I have to call Baralai," I said, scrolling through my phone book for his name. "He has to hear this."

Rikku didn't protest as I hit SEND and waited for him to answer.

"_Hello?"_ My heart broke at the hollow, lifeless tone of his voice on the other end of the line. I knew watching this video would only shove the knife in deeper, but he needed to watch it. No, not needed, _had to._

"Baralai, it's Yuna." My breath caught in my throat and I almost couldn't continue. I took a second to regain my composure, breathing in deeply through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. "Rikku and I are here at the studio. There's something really important that you need to see."

He was silent for an agonizingly long time. In fact, he was silent for so long that I thought we had been disconnected. _"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."_ He hung up then before I even had a chance to reply.

While we waited for him to arrive, we worked on making the playlist for her service. We attempted to be a little more light hearted than normal by telling a few of the funny stories we remembered about the songs, but we didn't make it very far. Baralai walked into the studio exactly fifteen minutes after I had called him; we hadn't even finished populating the playlist for the CD yet. As soon as Rikku saw him, she jumped up and wheeled her chair in front of the computer screen, choosing to sit on my lap for the time being. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested the side of my head against her back.

Baralai glanced sideways at me, anxiety written all over his face. "What is it?" He tried to cover the traitorous waver in his voice, but Rikku and I pretended that we didn't notice.

I swallowed the blitzball sized lump in my throat. "Just watch it. You'll find out."

His right leg began to bounce and he sucked his entire bottom lip into his mouth, chewing on it nervously. I could tell that a part of him was dreading to watch the video and the other part wanted nothing more than to watch it. It was hard to watch all those conflicting emotions fly across his face and I kind of wished that I could take back calling him. I should have thought it through better and my lapse in judgment could be detrimental to his emotional health. I opened my mouth to apologize to Baralai when he turned away from us and stared down at the computer. His hand hovered over the play button hesitantly before he pressed it down. He laced his fingers together and folded his joined hands in front of his face, watching the video with a face void of expression.

I carefully watched his face as the Paine on the screen began speaking. His eyes began to glisten as soon as he heard her voice. I would have paid one million gil to hear what he was thinking right then. His right leg was still bouncing. When she began singing the tears slowly began to leak from his eyes. My eyes decided to turn traitor then as my own tears fell down my face. I could feel soft tremors racking Rikku's small frame and I knew that she was crying again too.

Once he realized that Paine was singing exclusively to him, the change in his demeanor was instantaneous. One of his trembling hands reached up to rest over his quivering mouth and he pushed himself away from the screen like he was trying to escape it. He stayed frozen like that until the video's end and, even then, he didn't move a muscle for several long, excruciating minutes. He had me and Rikku sobbing like idiots.

He finally moved, but it was as though hundreds of pounds had suddenly been dropped on his shoulders. His movements were sluggish and labored like it took all of his effort to move a few inches. He rested his elbow on the counter and covered his blood shot eyes with his hand.

"Holy Shiva," he whispered. That was the only thing he said.

* * *

**(Paine)**

It was the day before Kimarhi would be leaving to deliver my message to my friends and I was ecstatic. My ribs were healing nicely, according to the Ronso Healer, and I was hoping I could go home soon. I could walk, but Kimarhi and the Healer didn't like it because of the strain it put on my still healing ribs.

After I went back home, I would miss the Ronsos. They were truly an amazing race even though they had odd speaking idiosyncrasies. They were very friendly and, in Kimarhi's case, very protective. He was constantly by my bedside, watching over me and keeping me company. He left only to sleep.

Since my very first day in their little village I had noticed that Kimarhi's horn was broken, but I was too scared to ask him about it. I wasn't exactly scared of him per se, but he was rather intimidating when he wanted to be. So today I had decided to ask him about it. The worst thing that could happen was his refusal to talk about it, right?

After I had eaten my small breakfast of dried dear meat and a soft chunk of freshly cooked bread, Kimarhi helped prop me up against my pillows, making sure I was warm. It got extremely cold up on the mountain and, because of my lack of fur, he was worried I would freeze to death. He really did mean well, but it got a little annoying when he acted like that.

"Um, Kimarhi?" I began. He looked at me with his bright yellow eyes and inclined his head. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your horn?"

He idly chewed on a strip of dried meat as he considered my question. "Horn lost when Kimarhi young pup. Biran Ronso jealous of Kimarhi. Biran disgrace Kimarhi by taking his horn. Kimarhi must work harder to prove himself."

For some reason, his explanation made me angry. I had no idea how Ronso thought, but why do something like that? Jealousy seemed like a rather childish excuse to leave someone marred for the rest of their life. "I'm sorry," I said, feeling immense sympathy for my Ronso friend.

Kimarhi shook his head, his long white hair swinging gently around his head. "Not Paine's fault. Do not worry. Kimarhi get revenge on Biran one day."

I nodded and smiled at him, satisfied with his answer. Out of all the Ronso I had met, I would miss him the most. We fell silent then as I stared down at my hands, trying to find something to talk to him about. We had talked about so many things during the course of the week that it was getting harder and harder to come up with conversation starters.

"You remember who you're supposed to give the message to, right?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Yes, girl named Yuna," he answered.

"Exactly. And you know where to find her?"

He nodded. "Kimarhi remembers address Paine told him. No need to worry. Paine's message will be delivered."

I felt immediate relief and relaxed into my pillows, confident that everything would turn out just fine. But of course nothing can ever go quite as smoothly as I would like.

A sudden commotion outside had Kimarhi jumping out of his seat, a low rumble erupting from his chest, and moving to stand in front of the thick blanket that covered the doorway. He cautiously peeked outside and looked around, the low rumble turning into a full blown carnal snarl a second later. I didn't know what was going on and I hoped I wouldn't get a chance to find out.

I heard yelling outside the hut in the strange language I heard the first day I was here. Kimarhi answered back then rushed over to me. "Fiends attacking village. Kimarhi take Paine somewhere safe. Kimarhi protect."

He carefully scooped me up into his arms, being mindful of my injuries. Even though he was being as gentle as he possibly could I still winced in discomfort as the pain in my chest flared. He moved swiftly to the door and cautiously stuck his head out into the cold to make sure it was safe before stepping out of the hut. As soon as the frigid air hit my exposed skin my teeth began to chatter and goose bumps popped up all over my body. I attempted to bury myself even farther into Kimarhi's chest, but there was only so far that I could go. The big Ronso noticed my discomfort and hastened his stride to his destination.

I dared to look over his shoulder and saw other Ronso fighting off large, hard scaled lizards that spat fire and looked like living volcanoes. Then, almost as if one of them could tell I was looking at it, one of the immense lizards broke away and began chasing after Kimarhi. It was impossibly fast for its size and I didn't even have enough time to warn Kimarhi before the creature rammed its large head into his back.

Kimarhi lost his grip on me and I sailed through the air for a few weightless seconds before crashing to the ground and skidding through the snow. I ground my teeth as my chest exploded with excruciating pain. I felt my head begin to spin, the threat of unconsciousness starting to creep up on me, but I stubbornly fought it off. I couldn't be passing out at a time like this.

I struggled to my feet, the pain coursing through my chest almost enough to force me back to my knees. I saw Kimarhi about fifty yards in front of me grappling with the monster. I could tell he was having trouble holding his ground so, pushing my injuries to the back of my mind, I tried to look for anything that I could use as a weapon. A barely visible pile of rocks was sitting only a few feet away and I made my way toward them as fast as I could, sucking in painful gasps of air the entire way.

I grabbed the biggest, sharpest rock that I could and snuck up behind the volcanic lizard, hoping I could get close enough to do some damage. Kimarhi roared as he wrapped his hands around the monster's throat and I chose that time to strike. I lifted the rock over my head and slammed it down on the creature's back, a satisfied smile playing on my lips at its cry of pain.

My smugness was short lived though. The creature swung its tail around faster than I could react and flung me away from it. I flew into an enormous snow bank and hit a boulder that was buried inside of it. A strangled, choking gasp was expelled from my lungs as I felt my spine fold against the stone. I fell forward into the frigid snow and heard Kimarhi call my name before everything went black.

* * *

**(Yuna)**

"Hey, Yunie."

I looked up from the book of poetry that I was sifting through and directed my attention to my cousin. She was sprawled out on my bed, going through another book of poetry. We were trying to find the perfect poem for Paine's service, but it wasn't going very well so far.

"What is it, Rikku?" I answered, resting my elbows on my desk and gingerly rubbing my sore eyes. We had been looking at poems for hours and the words on the pages were starting to dance in front of my eyes.

"I think we're going about this entirely the wrong way." I frowned and shot her a confused look, having absolutely no idea what she was talking about. "I mean, would Paine really want this? Would she really want a bunch of wishy washy poetry for us to remember her by?"

I smiled at my cousin, surprised by how intuitive she could be without really trying. "You're right," I replied, leaning back in my chair and lacing my fingers behind my head. "That's the hard thing though. How are we supposed to know what she would really want? The only thing we can do is try to get as close as we possibly can, right?"

She nodded and stared at the book in her hands before flipping to the very last page. I knew Paine would like that we were trying. After all, it's the thought that counts and we were trying our hardest.

"Yunie, I think I found one," Rikku said, getting up and meandering towards me, her eyes still glued to the page. I rolled my eyes inwardly and reminded myself not to hold my breath. She had said that about the last five poems. "No, seriously. I really think I hit the nail on the head with this one." I chuckled as she handed me the book, thinking it funny how she knew what I was thinking.

I decided to humor her and take a look at the poem, clearing my throat so I could read it aloud. "Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glint on snow. I am the sun on ripened grain. I am the soothing, gentle rain. When you awake in morning hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die." My jaw dropped open in awe and I looked up at my cousin to find her standing there with a very smug, satisfied look on her face.

"See, I told you," she said, her smile growing even wider.

"That poem is beautiful. You're right, it's perfect." I dog eared the page just in case and handed the book back to Rikku. "Now what?"

She opened her mouth to answer when a loud banging on the front door stopped her in her tracks. We both frowned, matching wary looks decorating our faces. "The guys?" she asked, lowering her voice like the person at the door would be able to hear her.

"No, they would just walk in. Come on, let's see who it is."

When we came into the living room my father was peeking out of his study, looking at me expectantly. "You have the door, baby?"

I nodded and he smiled at me before disappearing back into his study. The person on the other side of the door banged loudly again. I didn't know why, but I had a bad feeling about who was on the other side. It was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, a foreboding twist in the pit of my stomach that wouldn't go away. I opened the door slowly and was met with the bright yellow eyes of a Ronso with a broken horn. I took an instinctive step backward, expecting to see anything else but a Ronso at my door.

"Um, can I help you?" I asked, finally finding my voice.

"You are Yuna?" he asked, folding his arms across his broad chest.

My knees began to shake and I considered lying to him. _What does he want with me?_ I asked myself, feeling anxiety and nervousness at once.

"I am." I couldn't bring myself to lie to him; another strange feeling told me to trust him.

"Kimarhi brings news, both good and bad. Paine lives." Those two words almost brought me to my knees. I had been praying to hear something along those lines ever since we assumed her dead and now that I was getting my wish it was almost too good to be true. Suddenly, I remembered that he still had more to tell me and gave him my full attention. "Paine badly injured yesterday during attack on village. Paine still lives, but has not woken up."

I was shocked into silence. My mind refused to form a coherent answer. Paine was alive, but, according to Kimarhi, she may not stay that way. I jumped when Rikku rested her hand on my shoulder. I didn't look back at her, knowing exactly what I would see in her eyes. "What can we do?" I asked, keeping a surprising handle on my emotions even though I felt like breaking down.

Kimarhi cocked his head slightly and searched my face, exactly what he was searching for was a mystery to me. "If Yuna wishes, she can accompany Kimarhi to Mt. Gagazet. Maybe presence of friends help Paine to wake."

I looked at Rikku then, my mind already made up. "Call Gippal. Looks like we're taking an impromptu trip to Gagazet."

It didn't take much of an effort to tell my father a believable story. I told him about Paine, but left out the part where we had to go all the way to Gagazet to get her. If I told him we were going that far away, he would never let me leave. Since humans were forbidden on the sacred mountain Kimarhi said he would wait for us at the entrance to the Calm Lands. Then we would trek the five miles across the plains to Gagazet.

I grabbed two thick sweaters, one for me and one for Rikku, and after we had called our boyfriends we sped off to go pick them up. We got Gippal first then Tidus, saving Baralai for last. Tidus called Baralai when we were only a few minutes away from his house. All of us knew how he was going to react so we didn't want to make him wait any longer than was necessary.

Baralai came sprinting out of his house, sweater in hand, before I even pulled into his driveway. He was moving so fast that I thought he was going for a new world record. As soon as he was buckled in, I sped away from Luca towards the Calm Lands, going much faster than I should have, but I didn't give a damn.


	10. Drowning In Ice Water

**Chapter 10**

**Drowning in Ice Water**

* * *

**(Yuna)**

By the time we reached Mt. Gagazet, my heart was fluttering not from the long walk but from anticipation. Would Paine still be alive? From what Kimarhi had told us her injuries were gruesome and he had been surprised she had survived the night. I felt my chest tighten at that horrible thought. All of us could possibly have to relive her 'death' all over again and I wasn't so sure we would be able to handle it a second time. I looked over my shoulder at Baralai. He had been keeping pace with Kimarhi almost the entire way through the Calm Lands, but had slowed down and fell in step beside Gippal and Tidus. It was like the fire of hope that had been burning so brightly within him just a little while ago had turned into a smoldering ember. I knew that if she died for real and he had to stand next to her body as the life slowly drained out of her, he would never be the same again.

I involuntarily shivered, but the sudden chill I felt wasn't from the cold. I _prayed_ for the sake of Baralai's sanity and the rest of us that she was going to survive.

I slipped the hood of my sweater over my head as another frigid gust of wind blew down from the snowy peaks. We were just starting to see snow decorating the sand colored stone and it was getting colder with every step we took. Kimarhi slowed down until I caught up with him and he examined me with narrowed eyes.

"Paine strong. Kimarhi confident that she will wake."

I tried my best to smile at him even though it felt like I was being torn apart inside. "Thank you for taking such good care of her."

Kimarhi's bright eyes turned sad and he shook his head. "Kimarhi failed to keep Paine safe. Kimarhi deeply sorry."

In addition to how she had been injured, he had also explained the attack on the village and how Paine had tried to help him. None of us had even considered blaming him for what happened to her. It wasn't his fault that those monsters had attacked the village. I slipped my small hand into his paw and squeezed his long fingers. "Don't feel that way. Paine's father trained her in sword fighting. If you would have been hurt as a result of her not helping, she wouldn't have been able to live with herself."

This didn't seem to alleviate his guilt any. He was ashamed and angry with himself, I knew. He wouldn't feel better until Paine recovered. We fell silent then and he continued to walk beside me even though he could have easily pulled away. He was built to walk in the snow that had suddenly gone from a little less than an inch to almost four. My feet were getting very cold.

It took another five minutes for us to reach the village and what I saw took my breath away. Never in my life had I seen a way of living that was so…uncomplicated. Their dwellings were beautiful in their simplicity. I could tell the Ronsos took great pride in their village. I smiled at them as we walked, trying to get as much enjoyment out of the Ronso village as I could before I saw Paine.

Kimarhi suddenly stopped next to a hut near the perimeter of the village. He stood in front of the entry way and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Paine inside. Not much room. Who will go first?"

My eyes immediately went to Baralai, who was looking at Kimarhi like he would go insane if he didn't see her. "I'm going," he said, his voice urgent. I could see his fingers twitching at his sides in anticipation.

Rikku laid her hand on my shoulder. "Go with him, Yunie," she whispered into my ear.

I nodded and looked into Kimarhi's eyes. "I'll go too."

He inclined his head and pulled the blanket aside far enough for Baralai and I to enter. I had no idea what I was about to see so I prepared myself for anything. The lighting inside the hut was minimal enough to see by. It was also very warm. By the time I had taken my sweater off Baralai was already kneeling beside where Paine was lying. I held my breath as I slowly walked towards them. All the preparing I had done in anticipation of this moment had pretty much been for nothing. I still wasn't ready for this.

I gulped when my eyes settled on her face. She looked so peaceful, as if she were only sleeping. The only thing out of place that I could see on her was unnaturally sunken cheekbones and sickly purple bruises underneath her eyes. I caught myself willing her to wake up, wishing my desperate thoughts would reach her. I kneeled down next to Baralai and looked at his face with guarded eyes. He was cradling her right hand with both of his and staring at her face. The fire light was reflecting off his eyes, making his brown irises turn burnt orange. I rested my hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some meager reassurance.

"I'm not moving from this spot," Baralai said. He met my gaze and I was surprised by the intensity of his stare. "I hope you don't mind."

I gaped at him and fumbled for a few seconds to find the right words. "Of course. I understand." As Baralai turned back to look at Paine's serene face I knew then that his sanity was hanging by a thread, more so than the rest of us. If she never woke up I was scared that it would completely destroy him. I squeezed his shoulder to get his attention, but he didn't look at me. "I'll go let everyone know what's going on."

He nodded stiffly, clutching her limp hand in front of his face. I reluctantly got up and left him alone. My friends were gone when I walked out of the hut. I looked around in confusion as I put my sweater back on. It felt like it had gotten even colder, but I realized that was only because I had just come from a toasty warm hut. I briefly wished I could go back inside, but if I spent any more time with Baralai I knew I would slowly begin to lose my sanity just like him.

As I was looking to the right I spotted Kimarhi waving his paw in the air a few yards away from me. I jogged towards him, wrapping my arms around myself to try and keep the chill at bay. By the time I shuffled inside the much larger hut with Kimarhi following closely behind, my teeth were chattering. I smiled down at my friends as they turned their heads to welcome me. They were all sitting around a small wooden table, sipping warm drinks from stone cups. They all frowned simultaneously, the same question reflected in all of their eyes. I sat down in between Tidus and Rikku, accepting the small stone cup from the elderly Ronso across from me. I thanked her and sipped from the cup, pleasantly surprised by how flavorful the tea was.

"So where's Lai?" Gippal asked, setting his cup down on the table.

"He wants to stay with Paine. I'm guessing you guys can go see her whenever you want." I looked at Kimarhi and he nodded his head once.

"Did she look…alright?" Tidus asked, wincing at his own choice of words.

I sent him a sympathetic smile, knowing he was trying, as I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers. "Honestly, she looked like she was just sleeping. She was breathing fine, I think. She might be in a coma."

Grim expressions fell over everyone's faces as the female Ronso watched us with intelligent eyes. I could almost hear what thoughts were going through my friends' minds. Paine's parents had been mortally injured in a car crash, but they had both been in deep comas before they passed away. They had never woken up and the same thing could very well happen to her. Paine refused to admit that her parents died in the hospital though. In her opinion, the crash had killed them. Seeing them slowly wither away in their hospital beds under the sickly florescent lights had been so hard to watch. It had been even harder for Paine. She had loved her parents very much.

Rikku looked up at the old Ronso suddenly, determination painted all over her face. "There has to be something we can do!" she exclaimed, her voice raspy. "We can't just sit back and watch her die!"

The elderly Ronso's eyes softened and she folded her hands in her lap. "Midia think the only thing we can do is wait. Midia also think that Paine's spirit strong enough to find her way."

"So there really is nothing we can do," she whispered, her shoulders sagging slightly. Her voice was so broken that my eyes immediately started watering.

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, not surprised to see fresh tears welling up in her eyes when she looked at me. "I know what we can do," I began. "We can stay positive and not give up hope. Being negative won't help Paine wake up. We need to be strong for her."

Gippal nodded and grabbed Rikku's other hand. "Yuna's right, Riks. I don't think Dr. P would like it if she knew we were falling apart over her."

So that's what we did. We stayed positive and we waited. I managed to get a hold of my father and tell him what was really going on. He was worried, but didn't order me home. He said he would call everyone's parents and let them know what was happening so we could be excused from school. Our high school was uptight about absences and I was worried that we would lose our credits and not be able to graduate. My dad reassured me that, because of the circumstances, he was confident that we would be excused.

"Don't take too long," he advised. "I can only cover for you for so long."

"Thanks, Dad," I said before I hung up.

It had been almost a week since we had arrived at Mt. Gagazet and Paine hadn't shown any signs of improvement. Baralai was constantly by her side, barely eating and sleeping even less. All of us were worried about him because we needed to return to Luca and we already knew that he wasn't going to come with us. We had to face the facts though. We couldn't wait around until she woke up; we just didn't have that kind of time. We had already decided on returning and the only thing left to do was convince Baralai to come with us.

And, of course, I was the one chosen for the task.

This morning it was unnaturally cold, even for the sacred mountain. A snow storm had blown through the previous night, leaving the entire valley covered in a few extra inches of snow. Now the snow reached almost to my knees, making the going even more difficult. I sighed in both relief and exasperation when I reached the small hut Baralai and Paine were inside of. I cleared some of the snow away from the doorway before entering.

The small fire in the corner was only smoldering, making it difficult to see, so I left one corner of the blanket folded back to give the hut a small amount of lighting. I rubbed my hands together to get the feeling back in my fingers and stared down at Baralai, still nestled beneath his thick fur blankets fast asleep. Since he had chosen to stay with Paine, the Ronso had been gracious enough to make him a bed. As I got closer to him I noticed that his left hand was still gripping Paine's right like it was a lifeline. I kneeled down beside him and gently shook him awake. He jumped, more than likely thinking it was Paine that had touched him, and whipped his head around to look at her. His shoulders slumped when he saw she was still unconscious.

"Baralai, it's me," I whispered.

"Hi, Yuna," he mumbled dejectedly, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"We need to return to Luca. I think you should – "

"No!" he exclaimed, cutting me off before I had a chance to finish. "I told you I'm not leaving! I mean it!" Then he backed up towards Paine, blocking her body with his like I was going to harm her.

I sighed in defeat, knowing I was fighting a losing battle. Gippal and Tidus would have to drag him out kicking and screaming if he wouldn't come willingly. I was just about to throw caution to the wind and attempt to beg with him when a better idea popped into my head. "Baralai, you know as well as I do that it's not a good sign that Paine is still unconscious. We need to get her back to Luca and the only way we can do that is by going home and letting someone besides our parents know she's here. She needs medical attention and the Ronso can't give her what she needs. Baralai, she could possibly be in a coma. If we don't get her back to Luca she could die, for real this time." I let my words hang in the air between us, confident that he would do the right thing.

He averted his eyes and stared down at the ground for many long moments then turned his head to look down at Paine. His throat convulsed as he swallowed and when he met my eyes again I could see fresh tears beginning to well up in the corners of his eyes. "I can't really explain what I'm feeling right now. I'm frozen with this strange fear that she's going to die and I'll never be able to talk to her again, never be able to tell her how I feel about her." He paused and took a deep breath to try and calm himself. "I just can't believe how much that scares me."

"I'm scared too, Baralai. We all are. Come back to Luca with us so we can get her the proper help."

He nodded and looked down at her once more. "I'll be back, I promise," he whispered to her, softly caressing her cheek with the pads of his fingers. He rose unsteadily to his feet and followed me out of the hut, not looking back even once.

The guys were happy to see Baralai again. They had barely seen him all week besides when they had visited Paine and I knew that being back with everyone would help his anxiety. After our short reunion, I went to find Kimarhi. The Ronso Healer had told me he was in his own hut this morning and gave me directions on how to get there. It took me a while of wandering aimlessly before I eventually found Kimarhi's hut. It was small but cozy, a perfect dwelling for someone like him.

"I have some questions for you, Kimarhi," I began, sitting down across from him.

He nodded, indicating for me to continue, as he handed me a cup of tea.

"Me and my friends need to return to Luca. Would you and the other Ronso feel insulted if we brought help back to take Paine home?" I bit my lip and waited with bated breath for his answer.

Kimarhi's expression changed then and almost resembled a smile. "Yuna and friends could never insult Ronso. Kimarhi think Yuna should do everything she can to save Paine."

I smiled and felt myself relax for the first time in days. Things were finally starting to turn around.

* * *

**(Baralai)**

I _had_ to say good bye to Paine just one more time before we left. I tried to persuade myself not to go back, but I couldn't stay away. I wanted to stay with her so badly, but I knew that going to get her help was the best thing that I could do. I had lived for an entire week thinking that she had died and I was willing to damn myself to the deepest corner of purgatory if there was any way I could save her. I was embarrassed to admit to myself that I had become paranoid over the fact that she could die at any moment without warning. Good thing my hair was already white.

I cautiously stepped back inside the cramped hut that I had called home for the last week like I would wake Paine up if I made too much noise and secured the blanket to keep out the chill. Kimarhi had restarted the fire a short time ago so it was quite warm, a welcome change from the frigid cold outside.

My breath caught in my throat as all the fears that had run through my head from the previous week came back to haunt me. I had told myself I wouldn't take too long before I came in, that I would say good bye and leave, but I was quickly losing my resolve. I could practically feel my will power crumbling beneath my feet. My knees lost the ability to hold me up and I unceremoniously flopped down beside her. I laid down on my side, propping myself up on my elbow, as I stared at her. My paranoia snuck up on me and I had to fight the impulse that told me to stay here with her.

I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead, unable to stop a couple stray tears from leaking out of my eyes. I couldn't really understand why I was acting like this. The worry I was feeling over leaving her was quickly being replaced with a strong urgency to get her help. I fisted a hand in her short hair and swallowed my anguish, quickly regaining my composure before I went to rejoin my friends. I struggled to my feet and unhooked the blanket from the wall then pushed it aside.

Looking back at her one last time I whispered, "I'll see you soon."

When I rejoined our group, a couple of Ronso were there with five humongous golden chocobos. I felt my shoulders sag with relief; I had not been looking forward to walking all the way back to Yuna's car.

"Hey, Lai!" Gippal shouted, waving at me from astride one of the large birds. His shout had startled the poor thing and it almost tossed him off its back, but one of the Ronsos quickly calmed it down.

I chuckled and waved back before stuffing my hands inside my sweater. I definitely wouldn't miss this place. Once Paine was safely back in Luca, I would probably never come here again.

"How is she?" Yuna asked, concern filling her bi-colored eyes.

I shrugged, trying to keep my frazzled emotions in check. "No change," I muttered, accepting the reins of a chocobo from one of the Ronsos.

She nodded, biting down on her bottom lip.

We left then without wasting any more time. Now that we were on chocobos the crossing was much easier. It only took us half an hour instead of a couple hours if we had been walking. I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face when I saw Yuna's car materialize a couple hundred yards in front of us. All we had to do now is get back to Luca. Then everything would be fine.

"What do we do with these guys?" Rikku asked, ruffling the soft feathers on top of her chocobo's head.

"Kimarhi said that they'll find their way back to the mountain on their own. The fiends around here aren't much of a threat so they should be fine," Yuna answered, carefully dismounting and scratching her chocobo under its chin. It warbled happily and flapped its short wings. Then it surprised her by burying its beak in her hair and nibbling on a few of the strands. Everyone laughed, even I did, and the weirdest thing about that laugh is that it made me feel better.

After saying good bye to our chocobos, we set off for Luca. I fell asleep almost as soon as Yuna started driving. Contrary to popular belief, I was exhausted.

* * *

**(Paine)**

The first thing I realized when I regained consciousness was that I felt no pain. This confused me because my last conscious memory was of me flying through the air – that seemed to be an infuriating recurring pattern with me these days – and slamming into a boulder. My back should have been killing me, but it wasn't.

_Now what about my ribs?_ I thought with a sinking feeling.

I lifted my arms and experimentally probed my ribs, wincing as I hit a few sore spots. Okay, so they weren't quite a hundred percent yet. Then I tried sitting up.

That wasn't such a good idea.

It felt like someone had suddenly stabbed me in a dozen different places all up and down my back. The pain was so intense that I almost screamed. Instead a strangled groan erupted from behind my bared teeth. I relaxed against the thick furs beneath me and waited for the pain to subside, mentally kicking myself for trying something so stupid. I should have known better. I let my mind wander then and tried to determine how long I had been asleep. The fire in the corner was burning brightly, but I could still feel a slight chill in the air, which probably meant that Kimarhi had left not too long ago.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, just a little agitated at my predicament. Kimarhi wouldn't be back again for hours and I didn't have the means to get anyone's attention. I twisted my head to the right to look at the door when the extra bedding next to me caught my eye. I frowned because no one had ever slept with me, even after I had first arrived here.

_Unless I've been sleeping for a while. Either Kimarhi or Midia would do something like that,_ I thought.

I turned my head to stare back up at the ceiling and try to pass the time somehow when the aroma of something familiar floated by my nose. I gasped, feeling like I should know that scent, but unable to remember where I had first encountered it. After a few seconds, a weak gust coming from the door way pushed the scent back towards me and it hit me like a slap in the face. I grit my teeth and turned onto my side, biting back another scream. I was sure I was imagining things. No way could I be smelling what I was smelling right now. I stuffed my nose into the thick fur blanket and inhaled deeply. The same smell made me jerk my head away like it had suddenly become repulsive. I wasn't imagining things at all.

"Baralai's cologne," I whispered to myself, my hands involuntarily fisting into the blanket.

At first, I didn't know exactly how to react to my discovery. After my crash I thought I would never see him or any of my other friends again. Now I find that he had been here, even slept next to me, but whether or not he was still here was something I needed to find out. I was happy that Kimarhi had successfully delivered my message and even more excited that my friends had come to the mountain. I needed to find out if they were still here and I wasn't going to let the pain in my back stop me.

I hefted myself onto my knees, biting down on my tongue to help block out the fact that it felt like someone was sticking a white-hot poker into my spinal cord. I fought my way onto my feet and almost fell down because of how bad my legs were shaking. I quickly searched for anything I could use as a crutch, finally spying a spear that Kimarhi had left propped against the wall. I carefully made my way over to it, gasping painfully with every step I took. It felt like it took hours for me to reach the spear, but as soon as I wrapped my hands around the smooth wooden handle and rested most of my weight on it the relief was almost instantaneous. It still hurt, but nearly not as much as before.

I waited for the room to stop spinning before hobbling outside in search of Kimarhi. I didn't have to go far because a pair of female Ronso spotted me after I had only taken a few steps away from the hut. They began shouting in their strange language so I stopped, knowing full well that Kimarhi would be running towards me any moment. It didn't take long – only a few seconds – before I was shivering uncontrollably and not too long after that when I saw Kimarhi sprinting towards me, his large paws kicking up puffs of snow in his wake.

"Paine!" he exclaimed, skidding to a halt in front of me. "Go inside!" His yellow eyes flared dangerously and he pointed a clawed finger back towards my hut.

I gulped, knowing full well that I was in big trouble, and began to carefully make my way back inside when Kimarhi unceremoniously scooped me up into his arms and carried me inside himself. Once I was safely back on my make shift bed, Kimarhi sat down next to me and continued to glare at me disapprovingly.

"I know my friends were here," I blurted, not meaning to say that but ending up saying it anyways. I took a deep breath and got control of my tongue. "How long was I asleep?"

Kimarhi's animalistic features softened and he sighed heavily. "Paine slept for almost entire week."

My jaw dropped open in astonishment. My friends had been here for an entire week and I hadn't even known it. Baralai had probably slept next to me the entire time waiting for me to wake up. I would actually bet gil on that. The only thing on my mind now was the reason why they had left. Had they given up?

_Of course not,_ my mind rationalized. _They would never give up. A week is a long time, but they couldn't possibly wait here forever. They had to go back home sometime._ I still had to ask Kimarhi the question anyways.

"When did they leave?" I asked, fisting my hands into my blanket to keep them from shaking.

Kimarhi's shoulders slumped and his head drooped. Those two simple actions spoke volumes to me. I gasped, throwing my hands up to cover my ears and block out the answer that I already knew was coming. "Only few hours ago," he replied. His voice was low but I still heard him. His words reverberated in my skull like an echo and refused to be silenced.

Now I was mad. Furious was actually the best word I could use to describe my feelings. How in the hell had something like this happened? Did fate really hate me that much? What were the odds that I would wake up _after_ they left to go back to Luca? It was practically impossible and totally probable all at the same time. I really had rotten luck these days, especially after my motorcycle crash a couple weeks ago. It would be a miracle if something else earth shattering didn't happen before they came back for me.

"Did they happen to mention when they are going to be back?" I asked, trying to contain my glee and not sound sarcastic at the same time.

"No. The only thing Yuna say is they be back soon."

I covered my face with my hands and tried to get a handle on my emotions. I was trying my hardest not to cry, but I could feel the familiar burn of tears start to assault my eyes. "Kimarhi, I'm kind of hungry. Could I have something to eat, please?" I asked, looking at him through my fingers to take my mind off of my moist eyes.

He nodded and left my hut, leaving me alone with my tumultuous thoughts. I still couldn't believe that all this had happened to me. It was like I was experiencing a very strange passing day dream and couldn't quite grasp that what I was seeing was real.

_Why now though?_ I asked myself. I had driven that highway multiple times and nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Not even close. _At least now I can get a new motorcycle,_ I thought with ire.

Kimarhi returned a few minutes later with a hearty helping of dried meat and a large lump of bread. I didn't realize how hungry I was until he handed it all to me. I shot him a very grateful thank you and he laughed when I tried to eat lying down. He helped me to sit up then sat back down next to me, watching me as I ate. Neither of us said anything to each other for a while. We didn't need to fill the air with conversation; he was there to keep me company and the silence between us was comfortable.

That train of thought immediately made me think of Baralai and how nervous I was around him sometimes. My chest tightened suddenly and I realized that I actually missed him. I prayed to whatever deity that was listening to get the chance to see him and all my friends again.


	11. On The Way to Believing

**Chapter 11**

**On the Way to Believing**

* * *

**(Yuna)**

Baralai wanted me to call the police as soon as we got back to Luca. He wanted to get back to the mountain as fast as possible, but I had other plans in mind. He just about had a fit when I told him we all should spend the night at home and tell our parents what was going on. Gippal was able to calm him down, but I could tell that he could go off again at any moment. He was a ticking time bomb and whether or not he exploded here in my car or at home with his parents was all a matter of time.

I dropped him off first and it was so hard to drive away, leaving him looking dejected and lost on his driveway. It was hard seeing him like this because I was feeling exactly the same way. I wanted to call the police and get Paine off that mountain as soon as humanly possible, but I was sure our parents wanted to see us. As much as I wanted to get Paine home I knew I was doing the right thing.

Once I was back in my own driveway I was at a loss for what to do next. I think I sat in my car for almost twenty minutes trying to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my night. Was it really such a good idea that we were spending the night in our warm beds when Paine was up in the freezing climate of Mt. Gagazet? My hands reflexively tightened around my steering wheel, the fear of something happening to her paralyzing me. Baralai would never forgive me. All this had been my idea after all. I took a deep breath and forced myself to get out of my car. I needed to talk with my father. He had a knack for being able to cheer me up and right now I definitely needed it.

I heard my father come running as soon as I closed the door behind me. I had been able to call him once I had cell service and he was relieved all of us were okay. He was starting to get worried. I could practically feel his excitement coming through the phone. He had been alone all this past week without me being home and had really missed me. Ever since my mother passed we needed each other more than ever and had grown closer because of it. I smiled when I saw him come out of the kitchen and ran to him, sighing in relief when his strong arms wrapped around my shoulders.

_This is the definition of home,_ I thought to myself, a wide smile spreading across my face.

"I'm glad you're home," he said, stepping back a couple of paces and gripping my shoulders tightly with his hands. "I thought I might go crazy if I spent anymore time alone."

I laughed. "And here I was thinking that you would be throwing a party."

He laughed as well and hugged me. "Are you hungry? I was just fixing dinner."

"I would love some dinner. I'm going to take a shower first."

He nodded then went back into the kitchen. I practically sprinted up the stairs towards my room, exploding through the door and vaulting myself onto my bed. I breathed in deeply, the aroma of my fabric softener a welcome familiarity. The only thing I needed now to complete my life was bringing Paine back home. I fought the fatigue I could feel building in my muscles and, even though I would have loved to take a nice long nap, reluctantly hefted myself off my bed then gathered fresh clothes before crossing the hall to my bathroom.

Half an hour later, I was clean and a little bit more relaxed, considering my situation. It was barely six o'clock when I looked at my alarm clock and I felt just a little bit exasperated. I hadn't even been home for an hour. Getting through the rest of the night without pulling my hair out was going to be a challenge in and of itself.

_This is going to be the longest night of my life,_ I thought as I stalked down the stairs.

I joined my dad downstairs for dinner and told him everything that happened during the week that I hadn't already told him. He was relieved that Paine was alive, but worried about her condition. He had been just as devastated as the rest of us when I brought the news that Paine was dead home with me. He had been close friends with Paine's father and considered her his daughter. He had even offered to let her move in with us after her parents passed away, but, even though she was extremely grateful for the offer, she adamantly refused. She became an emancipated minor about a month after her parent's deaths and that's when she bought her house and motorcycle.

I smiled to myself when I remembered how the people at the realtor office and motorcycle dealership had treated her. Both Rikku and I had gone with her because we all suspected what would happen. Neither of us wanted Paine to be alone in that kind of situation. She was young – a lot younger than any of their other customers – so they thought she was joking. They didn't believe her when she said that her parents had recently passed away and left her a huge inheritance. That is until she got her parent's investor on the phone. They changed their tune after they realized exactly how much money she had.

"You okay, Yuna?" my father asked, jarring my head out of the clouds.

I jumped involuntarily. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind."

An understanding smile curled up the corners of my father's mouth. "Everything's going to be okay," he said, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand.

"That's what worries me," I said, squeezing my father's slender fingers. "I'm afraid that something bad is going to happen because of my decision to wait until tomorrow morning to go back for her."

He frowned and laced his fingers together underneath his chin. "Why would you think that?"

I half-heartedly shrugged one shoulder, uncertain about what I was feeling. "I don't know. It's just this foreboding feeling I have in my chest. I can't really explain it."

My father nodded. "If you keep thinking like that, you'll stress yourself out. You need to keep your mind occupied and I think I've got just the thing. We'll pick up the dishes later. Come with me."

I frowned as I followed him into the living room and watched as he rummaged through our movie cabinet. He was a huge movie buff and owned almost every movie known to man. You name it, he's got it, guaranteed. I wasn't exactly sure how watching a movie would help, but I was willing to try anything. After a few moments of searching he pulled a couple cases from the cupboard, but wouldn't let me see them.

"Laughter is the best stress reliever," he remarked as he popped one of the discs into the player. Then he went back to the kitchen to make popcorn.

I sighed as I sank into the cushions of our couch, wondering how the rest of my friends were faring.

* * *

**(Baralai)**

It was only eight o'clock and I already felt like pulling my hair out. The time was passing ludicrously slow. It almost felt like an eternity since Yuna had brought me home. I had begged her not to make me wait until tomorrow, but, to my disappointment and aggravation, her decision would not be swayed. As much as I wanted to be angry with her, I couldn't find the strength for it. I hated to admit it to myself, but I had actually missed my parents. Hard to believe, I know. I hardly believed it myself.

They were happy to see me, especially my mom. She started questioning me about Paine as soon as I walked through the door. Like if she was alright, when she would be coming home and how badly she was hurt among others. I couldn't handle to answer most of them so I kept our conversation short, only giving one or two word answers. Ever since then I had been trying anything I could to help pass the time.

It wasn't working very well, to put it lightly.

First of all, I took a shower. I had worn the same clothes all week and felt absolutely disgusting. The Ronso's method of bathing was a hot spring inside an immense cave. They had no idea what soap was so we had to make due with soaking in the scalding water until we were sure we would be clean. Even then, my hair still felt dirty. I couldn't believe how happy I was when I saw my shampoo sitting there waiting for me. After my shower, I tried reading a book, but all the words ran together and I couldn't make any sense out of them. Then I tried cleaning my room, but there was hardly anything for me to clean so I was finished before I knew it. Everything I tried to take my mind off of Paine didn't work a single bit. I knew that if I didn't find something to occupy myself with I was liable to go crazy.

That's when I started getting desperate.

I found my mom with my dad in his office and asked her if there was any house work that needed to be done. Yes, I was _that_ desperate. Both my parents looked at me like I had suddenly fallen through the ceiling. I was like any other teenager that hated doing chores and my parents had to fight with me tooth and nail to get me to help them with anything. I know my question had made them consider getting their hearing checked.

"What's wrong, son?" my dad asked, glancing sideways at my mom. He knew that there had to be something wrong with me if I was volunteering to do chores.

"I just need something to do," I answered, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

My mom shot my dad an astonished look before returning her gaze to me. "Well the trash needs to be taken out, there are some dishes that need to be washed and the carpets need to be vacuumed."

"Awesome, I'll get right on it," I answered, leaving my dad's office without another word, which probably ended up shocking them even more. I knew what I had to do so I didn't need to stick around any longer and waste time. If I wanted to keep my sanity intact I needed to take my mind off of Paine at least for a few hours.

I got to work as soon as I walked into the kitchen, taking care of the trash first. That was the easiest so I wanted to get it out of the way. After that I immersed myself into what I was doing. Once all the dishes were washed and put away I even wiped off all of the marble countertops and cleaned the stove off. I wasn't sure if any of that needed to be done, but I did it anyways. I even went as far as mopping the tile before moving on to the vacuuming. I took my time, something that surprised even me. I wanted to make all this last for as long as I could because once Paine was safely back in her own home my opinion of house work would diminish once again.

Even though I tried my hardest to keep my mind off of Paine, every now and then her face would fly up in front of my mind's eye. I would see her plain as day, almost like she was standing right in front of me, staring at me with those intense red eyes of hers. Ever since the day I had met her, I had wondered how she had been gifted with such hauntingly gorgeous eyes. I had never seen such eyes before in my life. They were beautiful and frightening all at the same time. They reminded me of molten lava, burning even brighter when she was angry. I couldn't stop the hallucinations from springing up whenever they saw fit so when it happened I tried not to fight it. Fighting it just made it worse.

By the time I was finished with everything I was exhausted physically as well as mentally. I said good night to my parents, who profusely thanked me for all my help, and flopped into bed without even changing clothes.

My dreams were anything but peaceful.

* * *

**(Paine)**

My sleep that night was restless. I kept waking up every two hours covered in sweat and out of breath. I didn't even know how I could sleep at all. I had slept an entire week of my life away. I thought that it would take days for me to get tired again. I actually think part of the reason why is because I knew my friends would be coming back for me and I wanted to be awake when they got here. I grimaced, realizing that reason was highly unlikely even though I wanted to believe it. Maybe it was because some part of me was scared that I would get left behind a second time so my first reason still stood. I sighed as I pushed my messy bangs away from my eyes, wishing I could get up and walk around. I had so much pent up frustration with no outlet. I was probably going to go stir crazy before my friends got here.

My traitorous thoughts almost immediately switched over to Baralai. How would I react when I saw him again? Better yet, how would _he_ react? I didn't even know the particulars about how he had slept next to me during the week that he was here. Kimarhi had told me what he could, but even he wasn't sure what had happened. I still wasn't sure how to respond to something like that. I know it should have weirded me out, but it didn't and I wasn't sure what to make of that either.

_I just want to go home,_ I thought as my eyelids began to droop. Before long, sleep had once again staked its claim on me.

When I woke up again it was light outside. I looked around, the feeling that something had woke me up causing me mild confusion. The fire in the corner had yet to be lit so I knew it hadn't been Kimarhi. My brows scrunched together as I strained my ears, trying to pick out any strange sounds coming from outside, but all I could hear was the wind blowing outside. I was just about to tell myself that I was hearing things when I finally heard something. It was a dull beat, almost like a thrumming, that sounded so familiar that I felt like I should recognize it. After a few more seconds the sound got louder and soon it was deafening.

I gasped suddenly, my hands fisting into my blanket.

I knew that sound!

It was a helicopter. My friends were back!

I lurched up so quickly then that the jolt that raced down my spine actually made me cry out, but I didn't give a damn about my back at the moment. I stumbled out of the hut and saw said helicopter hovering a few inches off the ground, throwing snow up in every direction. I took off running towards it as fast as I possibly could, which wasn't very fast at all considering my injuries and the depth of the snow. As soon as the helicopter touched down, I saw one of the doors fly open and Baralai leap out, hitting the deep snow running. I could barely hear him screaming my name as he struggled to reach me.

We slammed into each other's chests, soundly knocking the air out of my lungs. I fisted my hands into his shirt to confirm that he was real and that he was really here. I heard him heave an enormous sigh as he pressed my body tighter against his, almost molding us together. I breathed his cologne in deeply, ignoring the red flags and warning signals that continued to go off in my head telling me to move away from him. I ignored them, happy that one of my friends were here to take me home finally. I felt tears immediately spring to my eyes and I allowed them to fall, soaking Baralai's shoulder in the process. I had a feeling that he really wouldn't mind. Then, without warning, a strange sensation traveled down my back and into my legs, but I ignored that as well. Something that I probably shouldn't have done.

"Sweet Shiva," Baralai whispered, burying his face into my hair. "I thought you weren't going to wake up. Are you alright?"

I nodded, but that's when the sensation in my back changed. The pain mysteriously disappeared and I felt my legs crumple beneath me. Baralai's hold on me tightened as he helped me straighten back up. Only my legs wouldn't respond. I tried moving them, but I couldn't feel them at all; it was like they weren't even there anymore. My eyes widened in horror.

"Oh no," I whispered, my grip tightening on Baralai's shirt.

"What?" he asked, his voice becoming concerned. "What's wrong?"

"I can't feel my legs." Somehow speaking those words were more terrifying than thinking them. I felt Baralai's frame go rigid and I started to panic. "Help, Baralai," I whimpered as my arms began to shake from how hard I was holding onto him.

"I don't know how. I don't know what to do," came his fearful reply. He turned his head and began calling for whoever was inside the helicopter for help. I began to hyperventilate, knowing that I was hurt a lot worse than I originally thought. Baralai detected my rising panic and pulled back so he could look at me. "Paine, look at me. Stay calm. I've got you. I know you're scared, but hang in there. I'm here."

I nodded and breathed in deeply a couple of times, his soothing voice helping me to calm down. I concentrated only on his eyes, trying to block out all the horrific thoughts that were attempting to consume me. Slowly but surely my panic began to melt away and he smiled, gently flicking my unruly bangs out of my eyes. Then, instead of taking his hand away from my face, he softly trailed his fingertips down my cheek. Just then two medical personnel came running up, carrying a backboard and a large bag of medical supplies. Baralai ripped his hand away from my face like my skin had suddenly become red hot and turned to address them, whatever had just happened between us broken.

"She said she can't feel her legs," he told them, his voice a mixture of fear and urgency.

The man carrying the bag immediately set it down and motioned for the one carrying the backboard to follow him. I heard their hushed whispers – they must have said something to Baralai because his arms carefully untangled from around me – then I felt the backboard press up against the upper part of my back; I couldn't feel anything else so I had no idea if Baralai was still holding onto me. Then I felt someone's hands come to rest on my neck just above my shoulders, immobilizing my head.

"I need you to keep your head as still as you possibly can okay?" one of the men said soothingly.

I almost nodded my head, but caught myself at the last possible second. "Yeah, sure," I replied, keeping my focus on Baralai's eyes.

"Your name is Paine, right?" he asked, like he was carrying on a completely normal conversation.

"Yeah."

"Well, Paine, my name is Dillon and my friend's name is Aaron. We're going to take really good care of you." He whispered something else to Aaron, but I couldn't make it out. A few seconds later I felt something being wrapped around my head and I jumped, my hands reflexively tightening on the fabric of Baralai's shirt. A reassuring look from him helped me relax. "This is just the head strap. We need to make sure your head isn't going to move when we lower you onto the ground."

I could literally feel the fear seeping into my eyes, but Baralai came to my rescue before I had the chance to lose my mind. "It's alright," he whispered. One of his hands found mine as I felt a thick strap being cinched around my waist.

Just as Dillon and Aaron were beginning to lower me onto the ground my panic came screaming back to the forefront of my mind and I clawed at Baralai's shirt. I couldn't quite explain, but I didn't want to lose sight of him. I knew that my fears were completely irrational and I knew that I would end up regretting how I was acting later, but I had thrown all rational thought out the window a long time ago. Now was not the time to be proud and I knew it. I was damn scared and that was the end of it.

Both men froze, their hands keeping the backboard still. Baralai frowned as his hands flew up towards mine, gently prying them off his shoulders. "What is it, Paine?" Dillon asked, concern filling his voice. "Talk to me."

"Baralai," I whispered frantically, my fingers clenching his hands in a vice grip. Once I was lying down, I wouldn't be able to see him and that was _not_ okay.

And Shiva bless him, that boy knew exactly what was on my mind. "I'm not going anywhere," he stressed. "Calm down and let them help you."

I took a deep breath and nodded as Dillon and Aaron carefully continued lowering me. I watched as both men, meticulously finished strapping me onto the board, making sure the straps were as tight as they could possibly be. I kept my fingers clamped over Baralai's the entire time. "You're the only one?" I asked, trying to fill the dead air.

He nodded. "Yuna wanted to come too but only one of us could fit in the helicopter with the others. She let me go." He smirked and I knew there was more to the story than what he was telling me.

"I'm getting the feeling that you didn't give her a choice in the matter." I felt myself smile and such a simple action felt both foreign and good all at the same time. I was sincerely thankful that Baralai had insisted to be the one to come get me; we had some talking to do before we were back in Luca. I let my face relax and stared into his eyes seriously. "I know you slept next to me," I stated, not giving him a chance to deny it.

He frowned as his eyes grew impossibly wide. "Kimarhi told you, didn't he?"

"No, I figured it out." I had to fight the impulse to shake my head. The foam neck immobilizer made sure it stayed still, but the impulse to move was still there. "The smell of your cologne was all over the blankets." I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw his tan cheeks darken. His sheepish smile gave him away.

Before either of us were able to say anything further, Dillon's face popped into my view. "Alright, Paine, we're going to be picking you up and putting you in the helicopter now. Are you ready?"

"Yeah." My grip involuntarily tightened around Baralai's hand as I felt the backboard lift off the ground.

The left side of the helicopter was constructed so the backboard could slide inside effortlessly. Dillon and Aaron positioned me so my feet were pointing towards the front. Once I was secured inside, I looked around the small space and was just barely able to see the pilot sitting on the right hand side of the helicopter checking his equipment. Dillon double checked the straps that were holding me onto the board as well as the straps that were securing the board to the floor. Once he was confident I wasn't going anywhere all three of the guys walked around to the other side and climbed in. Baralai sat down in the seat that was next to my head. His hand found mine almost immediately, squeezing it reassuringly.

But as soon as he had grabbed my hand he quickly let go of it and I frowned, watching him slide a set of headphones over his ears out of the corner of my eye. "Sorry," he said, grabbing my hand again. "I needed to use both my hands."

It suddenly got very loud as the pilot prepared to take off and I got concerned that we wouldn't be able to talk. I kept quiet though. Baralai knew I wanted to talk to him. I would just bide my time and sort out exactly what I wanted to talk to him about while I waited.

The helicopter rocked unsteadily back and forth as the pilot maneuvered it off the ground and ascended into the sky. I felt my stomach churning and it took everything in me not to throw up so I closed my eyes, beginning to count slowly in my head. I had almost lulled myself to sleep when I felt Baralai's warm breath on my neck and heard him whisper in my ear, "Are you okay?"

"I got nauseous," I answered, wishing I could turn my head to look at him.

"Unfortunately," he began, moving into my line of sight. "the noise doesn't get any better. So if you want to talk this is how close I'll have to be." I nodded, thinking that, for once, having him so close wouldn't be that bad. He pulled the headphones off his head and returned them to wherever he got them all without letting go of my hand. He gazed down at me, searching my face like he was looking for something specific. "Does anything hurt?" he finally asked.

I tried to wiggle my toes, but it was like they weren't even there. "No, I just can't feel anything below my waist. You could cut my legs off right now and I wouldn't know the difference."

Baralai chuckled, putting his head next to mine. "No, I won't do that. I like your legs right where they are." He paused for a moment before diving into his next question. "So what happened when you crashed?"

One of my eyebrows twitched as I tried to recall that night. It was fuzzy, but I knew that I would never completely forget about it. "It was an animal. It ran out in front of me and I didn't have a chance to react." I brought my gaze back to Baralai, but his eyes were guarded. "What did you guys think had happened to me?"

He pursed his lips and averted his eyes away from mine. I frowned, my head reeling from all the possibilities. "All of us lived for an entire week thinking you were dead. Yuna and Rikku were even starting funeral arrangements." His eyes began to glisten and I was struck speechless, but I guess I could understand. I had never seen how bad the aftermath of my crash looked, but if it was bad enough for them to presume me dead then that was enough for me. What Baralai said next made me wish I really had died. "And they found that video you made. They showed it to me."

I tried to keep my reaction to myself but I was pretty sure that Baralai would notice how rigid the part of my body that I could feel went. _Goddamnit, I knew recording that video was a bad idea! Why did I do that? I had a bad feeling about it, but I did it anyways. Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

I swallowed my anger and put on the best smile that I could muster. "Yeah, you weren't supposed to see that," I mumbled, meeting his eyes hesitantly.

"Did you mean it or not?" he asked, his words ringing in my ears.

I gaped at him, blown out of the water by his question. He had a point, a very valid point. I was sending him mixed signals, I knew that. I wasn't a fool. I just didn't know if I was ready to open my heart to someone yet. I did feel something for him; I was willing to admit that much to myself, but admitting it to him was going to be the challenge. "I do," I finally replied after an extremely drawn out silence.

He narrowed his eyes and leveled me with a suspicious look. "I can't help but feel you're holding something back." I heard an odd tone to his voice, but couldn't pick out what it was.

I huffed in frustration, his persistence getting on my nerves. I guess I deserved it though. I had wanted to show that video to Baralai in my own time, if I ever decided to show it to him at all. All of that was moot now. I clenched my jaw and stared up at the ceiling of the helicopter defiantly. "'I'm sorry' probably isn't what you want to hear, but I don't know what else to say to you. I know I'm being unfair. The video isn't helping, I know that too." I sent him a pointed stare which he didn't hesitate to return. "If this would have never happened to me you wouldn't even know that video even existed. This was all just an accident."

His gaze softened then and something I could only describe as disappointment flared up behind his eyes. "Everything happens for a reason. There are no mistakes." I remained silent and averted my eyes away from him, his accusing stare becoming too much for me to handle. I flinched when I felt his warm breath waft across the side of my face. "Just answer this for me. What made you think about that song anyways?" Then he leaned back and pried his fingers out of my hand, leaving me to stew about his question alone.

For a while nothing but the whir of the helicopter's blades could be heard. I couldn't see Dillon or Aaron and even Baralai was out of my sight. I was so exhausted, but couldn't quiet my buzzing mind. I hated how every time Baralai and I had a conversation it always ended badly. I sighed, wishing I could turn my brain off for just a little bit. There were so many things running circles in my mind that I thought my head would explode. I wished that whatever the hell was going on between me and Baralai wasn't so complicated.

_Not everything is black and white,_ my fatigued mind managed to point out to me.

I sighed again and closed my eyes, trying to bring Baralai's last question to the forefront of my mind. Of course, I already knew the answer to that. I was singing about him so, naturally, he would be the reason why I thought about that song. I couldn't help but think there was a double standard hidden somewhere in that question. A frustrated half-growl, half-groan bubbled in the back of my throat and I began to sing the song in question in my head, the fingers on my right hand forming the chords. I pushed the rewind button in my head and went back to the day I had thought of that song, reliving it to try and find additional meaning.

As I sang in my head I overanalyzed every lyric like I was hearing the song for the first time. I knew the who and the what, I just didn't have an answer for the why. I opened my eyes and stopped singing silently, staring up at the ceiling in confusion. I always knew the why behind every song I wrote so the fact that I couldn't figure this particular why out was maddening.

I looked as far to the right that I could and was barely able to see Baralai's hair. I wiggled my hand out from under the tight waist strap then reached up to where I thought he would be. My fingers found his jeans and I felt him jump from the sudden contact. He looked down at me and I did the 'come hither' thing with my index finger. When his face was right in front of mine I could tell he wasn't in the best of moods. His eyes were guarded and he wouldn't even meet my gaze, choosing to stare at one of the straps wrapped around my shoulder instead. I bit down on the inside of my cheek knowing that I was going to have to be the one to rectify this situation, but not knowing how.

"Baralai," I said, raising my voice just enough for him to hear.

"Yeah," he acknowledged, still refusing to look at me.

I hesitantly lifted my hand and grazed my knuckles down his cheek, hoping that would hook his attention better. My touch startled him again and his hand shot up, capturing my fingers in his grasp. He finally looked at me, but from the conflicting emotions I saw there I wasn't so sure if I wanted him looking at me anymore. Just knowing that I was the reason for what was going on inside his head at that moment in time made me feel extremely guilty.

I cleared my throat and tried to remember what I wanted to say. "I just want you to know that I'm not doing this on purpose. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Just…" I paused and sighed, getting frustrated with myself. "Just give me a chance." I stared into his eyes meaningfully, hoping he would understand.

He smiled then and I was relieved to see that it reached his eyes. He continued to hold my hand as he leaned closer to me, cupping my face with his free hand. "And I want you to know something."

I frowned, my curiosity piqued. "What?"

"I'll be the first one to admit that my world practically caved in around me when I thought you had died. I even overheard my parents talking about sending me to see a therapist. It only made it that much worse when Yuna had me watch that video. So I hope you can understand why I chose to stay with you during that week you were in a coma. I thought you would vanish into thin air if I left." He looked away from me and his cheeks darkened.

I, on the other hand, had no idea how to respond. It felt like I had been struck by lightning and the electricity had paralyzed my entire body. I hadn't been prepared for the magnitude of his confession. I had been expecting him to still be angry at me, anything but this. All of this was just happening too fast for me to process correctly. If I didn't know better I would probably think that he was in love with me. I quickly shot that thought down before it could even start to fester. The last time someone had confessed their undying love to me had almost destroyed me. I _was not_ going to leave myself open and vulnerable like that ever again.

But when his gaze found mine once more the only thought present in my mind was: _He hasn't told me he loves me yet._


	12. A Feeling Taking Control

**A/U:** I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. Three things prevented me from doing so sooner. 1) Thanksgiving was hectic 2) I got just a little distracted by a couple other things and 3) I made this chapter a little longer than the others. I hope you guys aren't too upset with me. I worked really hard on this chapter and I hope you all like it.

Oh and one more thing before you guys start reading! I'm so appreciative to everyone that has put this story on their author alert and their favorites; I'm even thankful for those of you that are silent readers. I would like for all of you that haven't reviewed before to tell me what you think about my story. I want to know what you guys think. I'm writing this story for you, my wonderful readers, so I want to know what you think of what I'm writing. How am I supposed to know what you think if you don't tell me?

Anyways, here's the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

**Chapter XII**

**A Feeling Taking Control**

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* * *

****(Baralai)**

I almost couldn't believe that I had just spilled so much to her so quickly. I had just done what Gippal affectionately called 'diarrhea of the mouth'. _Really smooth there, Baralai,_ I thought to myself with disdain. _You're supposed to be trying to win her over, not pushing her further away._ I couldn't even begin to imagine what she must be thinking about me. I probably sounded like any normal naïve, love sick teenager, but I was hoping to Shiva that she didn't think that. I had wanted to wait until I figured out what I was feeling for Paine was real or not before I spilled my heart out to her. I had sworn to myself that I would never tell another girl that I loved her until I found the one I knew I was going to marry. Less drama that way.

When I finally built up the gumption to look back at her, her crimson eyes were filled with dozens of different emotions. I could pick out uncertainty and confusion among them and press my lips tightly together so I wouldn't end up spilling my guts out to her again. We stayed like that, just staring at each other, for many tense, silent moments. During that time I found myself zoning out and getting lost in her eyes. Every since the first day I had met her I had thought her eyes were the most gorgeous feature she had. Never in my life had I seen someone with red eyes before and I never thought that something so strange would seem so beautiful to me. After I had seen that picture of her and her parents I discovered that she had inherited those eyes from her mother.

I blinked when she took a breath and opened her mouth to say something but just as she was about to speak someone's hand on my shoulder made me break eye contact with her. It was Dillon and he was holding a headset out to me. I ground my teeth together in irritation as I begrudgingly took it. I shot Paine an apologetic look as I put the headphones over my ears.

"We're getting ready to land. A medical team will meet us out on the landing pad to transport her inside," he said, his voice full of static.

I nodded, swallowing the lump that had settled in my throat. "What's going to happen after that?"

"They'll need to take x-rays to see the extent of the damage. After that they'll probably rush her right into surgery to make sure the damage isn't permanent," he replied, keeping his voice positive.

I wasn't very reassured though. "Do you think she'll ever be able to walk again?" My eyes darted to the left nervously, hoping that Paine couldn't hear us.

Dillon shrugged, his brows creasing in concern. "It depends on how badly her back is injured. If it's not too bad then she could be back on her feet in a matter of months. If not, she could be in a wheel chair for the rest of her life."

My heart plummeted through my body and almost fell out the bottom of the helicopter. If that happened her career would be over; she would never be able to perform again. I tried my damndest to keep my face stoic when I looked back at her but some of my worry must have leaked through because she frowned. I quickly hid what I was feeling and put on the best believable smile that I could. Her face relaxed and the corners of her mouth even turned up a little. My hand found hers without breaking eye contact and she squeezed my fingers tightly.

I leaned down and put my mouth next to her ear. "We're getting ready to land."

Her eyes widened and the grip she had on my hand intensified. "You're going to stay with me, right?" She asked, her voice shaking with fear.

I nodded, softly weaving my fingers through her hair. "I'm not going anywhere," I whispered sincerely, gently rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand.

"Okay," she answered, her voice weak. She averted her eyes away from me and stared up at the ceiling, continuing to keep a firm grip on my hand.

I straightened back up and watched as the pilot carefully maneuvered the helicopter onto the landing pad. I felt my phone vibrate for probably the fiftieth time since we had come back in cell range. Before I left I had promised Yuna and everyone else that I would contact them as soon as we got to the hospital but apparently they were getting exceedingly impatient. I slowly pulled it out of my pocket and opened my messages folder. Both Yuna and Rikku had sent me almost thirty messages between them asking about what was going on, if Paine was alright and even quite a few asking why I wasn't answering. I smiled as I quickly typed a message to Yuna telling her to calm down and that I would call her as soon as I could.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket as the helicopter roughly touched down, making me rock in my seat. Dillon and Aaron immediately jumped out, running around to the other side like they were being timed. I could see a pair of nurses running towards the helicopter with a gurney once Dillon had opened the doors. He began to nimbly unbuckle the backboard from the floor, being careful not to rock it too much, then both him and Aaron carefully lifted her out. I squeezed Paine's hand reassuringly as I followed the backboard out of the helicopter. I had to job to keep up with the brisk pace of the nurses as they wheeled her into the emergency room.

A feeling of dread settled into the pit of my stomach when I saw how busy they were. Dozens of nurses and doctors were rushing in and out of small sections that were separated by curtains. I could hear shouts and cries of pain coming from behind a couple of those curtains which didn't do much to help calm my frayed nerves. I looked down at Paine, unsurprised to see fear seeping into her red eyes. I knew she couldn't see much but her hearing told her everything that she needed to know. She knew as well as I did how much trouble she was in.

That is until I heard one of the nurses speak up. "Make sure Dr. Archer knows this one has top priority. We need to get her in for an x-ray right away!"

Paine's fingers went lax in my hand and we both breathed a collective sigh of relief. The other nurse ran off as the one that had spoken began to scribble furiously on a clipboard. She came to stand on Paine's other side and leaned down over her. I could clearly see the tension and stress in her face but as soon as her gaze met Paine's all of that melted away and she smiled down at her. "My name is Jaelynn and I'm going to make sure we find out what's happened with your back. Why don't you start by telling me your name?" This nurse was good. She wasn't even talking to me and she was helping me to calm down.

Paine's eye shot over to me and leveled me with an apprehensive stare. I frowned, confused about why she was hesitating. After a few seconds though she sighed and looked back at the nurse who was waiting patiently for her answer. What she said next struck me dumb.

"Aria Fallon."

The nurse continued to ask her questions but it was like thick wads of cotton had suddenly been stuffed into my ears. All I heard was Paine repeating that foreign name in my head over and over again. I almost couldn't believe what I had heard. Finding out that 'Paine' was merely an assumed name she was going by really put how much I didn't know about her in perspective. I had seriously thought that Paine was her real name. Every since meeting her I had meant to ask her about it. I thought her parents hand an interest in strange names, which I thought was fascinating. My parents were the same way.

I was pulled out of my trance when I felt my hand being shaken and I blinked, clearing my vision. The nurse had left; we were alone again. I was reluctant to meet her gaze so I stared down at our joined hands. I wanted to speak but the maelstrom in my years would not be silenced.

"Baralai, say something," Paine said, irritation plain in her voice.

I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly through my nose, meeting her eyes hesitantly. "Your real name is Aria?" I whispered, my own voice sounding unfamiliar to me.

She huffed and looked away from me, choosing to stare at the ceiling instead. "I don't go by Aria anymore. I haven't gone by that name since my parents died. I had to tell that nurse my real name. They don't care for aliases." She paused and gently extracted her fingers from my grasp. "I was going to tell you in my own time."

"I've heard that before," I mumbled to myself, unable to look at her anymore. I could understand why she refused to open up to me. I only wished I could find a way for her to trust me. _If you rush her you'll only end up pushing her farther away,_ my mind told me. _Patience is a virtue._ I stiffly crossed my arms over my chest, wishing that I could walk away from her without feeling guilty about it.

My fingers twitched when she began to speak. "You can't possibly think that because you watched over me the week I was unconscious that you deserve to know all of my secrets." Her top lip curled up into a sneer. "I was foolish enough to open my heart to someone that barely knew me before. I won't be fooled a second time."

I knew exactly where she was coming from so I had no reason to be scornful. She was looking out for herself and I couldn't blame her for that. I was being self-centered and my attitude wasn't helping any. She had the right to keep certain things from me just like I did. I realized that the only reason why I was acting like this is because I wanted to be with her. I wanted to be able to call her mine. I had known that as soon as I had seen her, as corny as that sounds. It only sealed the deal once I heard her sing for the first time. I couldn't believe such a big voice was capable of coming out of a person as introverted and secretive as Paine. Gippal and Tidus had teased me incessantly about how I was staring at her that night.

So, after a few minutes of choking down my pride, I leaned over her and did something I never thought I would have the guts to do. After a moment's hesitation I gently pressed my lips over her own, holding back the moan that was struggling to erupt from my throat. Kissing her for real was so much better then fantasizing about it. Her lips were dry and chapped but I didn't give a damn; a second later that moment was ruined when I felt her hand wrap firmly around my throat and push me away. I almost laughed in spite of the situation but wisely held back.

I knew she was angry; I didn't have to look at her to figure that out. Once I had backed up enough so I could see her whole face, her expression wasn't too far off from what I had imagined. Her features were what I could only describe as firm. The muscles in her face were stretched and constricted in a way that was actually quite beautiful. I couldn't keep my eyes off her lips and wished for only a second that I could kiss her again. I felt her fingers tighten around my neck as she breathed in to speak but I was determined to have the last words and quickly put my index finger on her mouth.

"I know, I'm a bastard for doing that. Once you're out of here you can hurt me as much as you want. I just wanted to get that out of the way. I swear to Shiva that I will never do anything like that ever again until you ask me."

I cautiously moved my hand away from her mouth, expecting her to start swearing at me, but was relieved and a little bit surprised that she didn't. Her face relaxed and she peeled my fingers from her throat, returning her hand to her side. "I hope you realize that I have grounds to kick your ass if you break your promise."

I smiled as I straightened up. "I would expect nothing less," I replied, boldly grabbing her hand and sighing in relief when she didn't pull away. I think I could even see the ghost of a smile if I looked hard enough.

A few moments later, and not a moment too soon, the nurse came back and told us that Paine was cleared for an x-ray. She wasted no time in briskly wheeling her out of the emergency room. She kept calling Paine Aria whenever she addressed her and, even though I had come to terms with her real name, it still caught me off guard. I could tell the sound of her real name was bothering her as well. Every time the nurse said it I could feel her fingers twitch in my grasp. When we reached the x-ray room I tried to follow them inside but Jaelynn put a restraining hand on my shoulder.

"I'll have to ask you to wait here, if you don't mind," she instructed, smiling apologetically at me. "You can watch from the window over there." She pointed to a large glass window a few feet to my left.

I nodded and squeezed Paine's hand before reluctantly letting it go. I stood in front of the glass and crossed my arms over my chest as Jaelynn wheeled the gurney next to the x-ray table and talked to her. I jumped when my phone vibrated and I swore under my breath, remembering that I had forgotten to call Yuna. Sure enough, when I pulled my phone out of my pocket her name and number were flashing back at me. I was almost scared to answer it.

"_Baralai!"_ She shouted, once I put my phone to my ear. She sounded relieved and hysterical all at the same time. _"Now that I finally have your attention, how's Paine? Is she alright?"_

"Well, she's awake but she can't feel her legs. She's getting an x-ray right now," I answered, watching nervously as the nurse transferred Paine from the gurney to the x-ray table.

Yuna was silent on the other for a few seconds, putting two and two together on her own. _"Which means you don't know if she's okay yet," _she stated, sounding crest fallen.

"I'll call you when I know more." The muted tone of my call waiting alert sounded in my ear and I quickly looked at the screen. I had to hold back the groan of disgust when I saw my ex-girlfriend's name staring me down. I finished talking to Yuna as quickly as I was able then answered. "Kiele, I thought I told you not to call me anymore."

"_Well hello to you too, Baralai,"_ she replied, that same snotty tone in her voice that I abhorred.

"What do you want?" I asked, making sure she knew exactly how impatient I was with her. Her calling couldn't have come at a worse time. Right now I wanted all my energy concentrated on Paine, not on arguing with my ex.

She let out an exaggerated sigh. _"You're just no fun anymore, you know that?"_ She pouted. She cleared her throat before continuing. _"I just want you to know how upset I was when you stood me up at YRP's concert that weekend. That was pretty rude of you."_

I chuckled silently to myself, remembering that night perfectly. I had told her earlier that day I was going to meet her there at the stadium, conveniently leaving out the part about being a part of the sound crew. Of course, I wasn't going to come out of the sound booth even if my life depended on it. Five minutes before the show started I sent her a text telling her that I wouldn't be able to make it. She had no idea I was a couple hundred feet above her and I laughed about it with Gippal and Tidus the rest of the night. The only thing I felt bad about was telling Paine that I had been considering spending time with her. For a few seconds I was genuinely considering it but I quickly abolished the idea from my mind, thinking I had gone nuts for thinking something like that.

"We aren't together anymore so I don't have to explain myself to you. You need to leave me alone. I've…" I paused and put serious thought into what I was contemplating on saying next. I was probably going to be opening the proverbial can of worms so to speak but I was done being nice. "I've found someone else." That was really the only gambit I had left to play against her. It was either going to work or it would piss her off. I was kind of hoping for the latter. I knew for a fact that she had the 'if I can't have him no one can' mentality, which I thought was odd because she hadn't felt any qualms about cheating on me multiple times.

She was silent on the other end for quite a while. I knew that definitely wasn't a good sign. _"That's why you didn't show,"_ she said, her voice dangerously low; also not a good sign.

I smirked. "Yeah, you could say that."

"_Who is she?"_

"Now that's something I won't be telling you," I answered, beginning to get irritated. "I'm hanging up now. Good bye." She began to loudly protest but I paid her no mind and ended the call before I even heard what she was going to say. Jaelynn wheeled Paine out of the x-ray room a few moments later and not a second too soon. I immediately went to her side and smiled down at her. "Hey."

"Hey," she replied, smiling back. "It'll be about half an hour until we can see the x-rays."

I nodded and was about to say something when Jaelynn cut in. "It may be earlier than that depending on the extent of the damage to her spine."

We remained silent until we were back in the emergency room. Once Paine's gurney was securely back inside her small curtained off room Jaelynn asked me if there was anything that I needed but I politely declined, saying I was fine for now. She scurried off then and left us alone once more. An apprehensive atmosphere settled over us and I knew we were thinking about the exact same thing.

"I'm getting tired of laying on this damn backboard," she remarked, her voice full of agitation.

"I know," I replied, rubbing her knuckles with my thumb. "Just try to be patient. We'll have answers soon."

She met my gaze and her eyes narrowed into tiny slits, trying to detect if I was feeding her any bullshit. I knew she was scared; I would be too if I was in her position. I was trying to put up a brave face for her but my nervousness and anxiety were getting the best of me. It was almost enough to drive me crazy. I could feel my right leg beginning to tremble and I was praying that the doctors would hurry up before I totally lost it.

Fifteen minutes later the doctor finally showed up with Paine's x-rays in hand. I eyed the dark pieces of plastic with apprehension, knowing Paine's future was going to be revealed soon. The doctor leaned over Paine and smiled down at her, the skin in the corners of his eyes crinkling together. "Hello, Aria, I'm Dr. Allbrook. I've looked over your x-rays and I'm pleased to inform you that I've got some very good news." I gripped Paine's hand tightly as a sudden rush of excitement welled up inside me. The doctor held her x-ray above her head and I bent down so I could get a better look. "You can see here that your fourth and fifth lumbar vertebrae have almost been cracked in half. The pressure on your spinal cord from both vertebrae is the answer to your paralysis. The procedure to correct this is fairly simple but it will take a couple months until you'll be totally healed."

I squinted my eyes and cocked my head to the side, trying to see what the doctor was pointing out. I moved closer and my eyes popped open when I saw what he was talking about. I had never seen anything like that before and I was suddenly more worried than I had been just a few minutes ago but I was extremely relieved at the same time. She was going to be fine, that was all I cared about. I was so relieved, in fact, that I could have laid down right there on the tile floor and slept like a baby. My mind was buzzing so loudly that I almost missed what Paine said next.

"So does this mean I'll be able to walk again?" She asked, keeping her voice surprisingly calm.

"If your spinal cord hasn't been damaged too badly then yes. You should have your full range of motion back within a few months," the doctor answered, a wide smile on his face.

Paine sighed in relief, her hand going limp in my grasp. The wait for that news had been well worth it. "When can I get this surgery then?" She asked, a small amount of apprehension leaking into her voice.

"Within the hour. I'll send an anesthesiologist to give you a cocktail shot to help you relax." He patted her arm a couple times before leaving.

I exhaled slowly through my mouth and ran my free hand wearily through my hair, wishing I could take a nap. Once Paine was in surgery I wouldn't be able to do anything except pace nervously in the waiting room.

"Do you have Yuna's cell number?" She asked after a few moments of silence. "I want to let her know what's going on."

I nodded as I pulled my phone out of my pocket then swiftly punching in Yuna's number. She answered on the second ring. "_What's going on?"_ She asked, her voice full of desperation.

Just when I was about to answer Paine tugged on my hand, effectively diverting my attention to her. "I want to talk to her." I nodded again and quickly transferred the phone from my ear to hers. "Yuna," she said simply, flinching when her best friend gasped and screamed on the other end.

Their conversation went on for almost ten minutes. Yuna was so excited to hear her voice that she yelled practically the entire time. She got so bad, in fact, that I could sometimes hear what she was saying and I had to hold back from laughing. The irritation coming off of Paine was almost palpable.

"Alright, I'll see you guys soon," she said, sounding almost relieved to be getting off the phone. As soon as I ended the call she swore harshly in Al Bhed. "I thought she would never stop talking. I think I need to get my hearing checked now."

I couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped my mouth. "Try not to sound so enthusiastic. In case you've forgotten, a couple weeks ago we all thought you were dead."

"Do you delight in reminding me?" She asked, glaring at me harshly. "All of this feels like a bad dream that I haven't woken up from yet. I'm still trying to digest the fact that I'll be going into surgery in less than forty-five minutes."

"If you don't feel like seeing them I'll call her back," I said, already reaching for my phone.

"No, don't," she said, tugging on my hand again to stop me. "I'm sorry. I guess I don't want them coming in here and acting like I'm going to my death. I really do want to see them, don't get me wrong. I just…don't know what to think right now."

"Don't worry about it," I replied, smiling at her. "You've been through a lot."

She smiled back at me and I marveled at how gorgeous it made her look. "Thanks, Baralai."

"For what?"

"For everything. You didn't have to do any of this but I'm glad you did." She looked away from me and I was shocked to see a faint pink tinge color her cheeks.

I gaped at her with my mouth partially open, wondering if I had heard her correctly. I had no idea how to respond. I never thought that she would every say anything like that to me. I swallowed nervously and desperately scrambled for an answer. "I…uh, I'm glad I did too." The corners of Paine's mouth twitched as she tried to fight off a smile. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling myself.

_Sweet Shiva, Baralai, is she flirting with you?_ My mind exclaimed frantically, my elation filling my lungs up like a pair of balloons. I seriously wanted to believe that.

"Paine!" Both Rikku and Yuna screamed as they tore through the curtain. I jumped so high out of fright that I swore my head hit the ceiling.

Paine had been just as surprised as me but, instead of jumping like I did, she ended up only ripping her hand from my grasp. "Holy shit guys!" She yelled as her best friends surrounded her. "Don't do that! My back is broken in case you've forgotten!"

They launched into a chorus of apologies before diving into the questions they had probably rehearsed on their way here. I wisely backed away from the bed and settled into the chair in the corner, knowing that they would be talking for a while. It took a while for Yuna and Rikku to calm down so they weren't yelling in hysterics anymore. I could only imagine the look on Paine's face and hid my chuckles behind my hand.

A few minutes later the anesthesiologist came in and gave her a shot to help her relax and told us that she was going to become mildly lethargic in the next ten or fifteen minutes. Yuna tried to ask him about Paine's surgery but he didn't know much about it. He was only going to be present to keep her asleep. After he left Yuna turned her attention to me, leaving Rikku with Paine. She sat down next to me and gingerly placed her hand over my own, sending me a half-hearted smile.

"How are you?" She asked, folding her hands in her lap.

"Much better now that I know she's going to be okay. Now all I have to do is make it through her surgery."

Yuna nodded and turned her gaze back toward her two friends. I did the same and we sat there in silence for a few moments, watching Rikku and Paine interact. After listening to Paine talk I slowly began to realize that the shot she had been given was starting to kick in. Yuna noticed as well and we immediately went to her side, looking down at her nervously.

"Are you alright?" I asked, grasping her limp fingers.

"Yeah," she answered, her voice soft. "I'm just kind of tired."

It wasn't long after that when a pair of nurses came to collect her for surgery. I felt my throat constrict as they moved towards the gurney and my hand instinctively tightened around her fingers. I suddenly didn't want her out of my sight again.

"Baralai…"

The sound of her voice made me whip my head back around and I leaned closer to her so I could hear her better. Her crimson eyes were half-lidded and the small part of her eyes that I could see were dreamy looking like she was already asleep. I opened my mouth to whisper her name but before I could her eyes fluttered all the way open and caught me in their captivating stare; I almost forgot what day it was. I only partly felt it when the fingers of her free hand wrapped around the collar of my shirt and coaxed me closer.

When our lips met it was like fireworks had just gone off around us. I couldn't believe what was happening. I thought that I was dreaming. _If it is a dream I never want it to end,_ I thought, a sudden thrill searing through me. Just the simple action of her reciprocation made the kiss a million times better. There were really no words I could use to describe what I was feeling. If I died now I would die very happy.

The extremely pleasant and desired touch of her lips left mine and the impulse to reinitiate our lip lock almost overtook me. I _had not_ wanted that to end. I gripped the edge of the gurney, my dark knuckles turning bone white from the exertion, and pulled away from her. She was gazing up at me with the same dreamy expression except one corner of her mouth was curled up only slightly. I had just enough time to drag the pads of my fingers down her cheek before the nurses wheeled her away. I watched them leave until they were out of sight then turned to look at Yuna and Rikku.

Their expressions couldn't have been any more confusing. Both of them were staring at me like I had just fallen through the ceiling. "What?" I asked, frowning as I looked between them.

They looked sideways at each other, almost like they were awestruck. "Nothing," Rikku said, her voice unusually high. She covered her mouth with her hand and looked at Yuna again. They stared at each other for a good ten seconds before looking back at me. "Nothing," she repeated.

I frowned and couldn't stop my upper lip from pulling up in bewilderment. There was something that they weren't telling me about what just happened between me and Paine. Just when I was considering about saying something else Jaelynn stepped through the curtain and rushed over to us.

"Come with me," she said, grabbing my upper arm and tugging on it.

Yuna and Rikku instantly took off after her while I trailed behind a little more slowly. I gingerly rubbed my throbbing temples and wished I could get some sleep. I was so exhausted that I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to last. If I was going to be staying up I needed to find some headache pills and quick. I jumped when a hand wrapped around my forearm and I met Rikku's confused green gaze.

"Baralai, where are you going?" She asked as her eyes darted to the right then back to me. I followed her line of sight and saw Yuna's head sticking out from around corner practically halfway down the hall behind me.

The fact that I had walked so far without realizing it floored me. "Oh, sorry," I replied, following Rikku to where Yuna was waiting.

I zoned out again as we continued down the hallway, my thoughts meandering to Paine. I wondered if she was in surgery yet and my stomach began to twist in anxious knots. I was a nervous wreck and I wasn't about to deny it. I saw Rikku's blonde head dart to the right and I quickly tried to follow, almost losing my balance in the process. A narrow set of stairs was laid out before me and I could feel my shoulders deflate before I carefully made my way up them. At the top I found myself in a small room with a large glass window covering the entire far wall. Jaelynn was waving us over.

Yuna and Rikku joined her first and they both gasped, their hands flying up to cover their mouths. My frazzled nerves became even more frayed then and I reluctantly crossed the room, surprisingly keeping my composure when I saw what was on the other side of the glass. We were overlooking an operating room and Paine had somehow been transferred from the backboard to an operating table. They had her lying on her stomach with her head turned towards us, her top half was completely uncovered while a sheet covered the rest of her. The fact that I was looking at her half naked didn't even faze me, but the tube sticking out of her mouth and the tape holding her eyelids shut did.

Jaelynn was talking to Yuna and Rikku but I couldn't help the question that burst out of my mouth. "Why are her eyes taped shut?"

Jaelynn paused and looked down at her. "Oh, that's just to make sure her eyes don't dry out during surgery. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure it's going to take at least four to five hours to complete and since tear production is cut down to almost nothing during operations the doctors need to keep her eyes moist to prevent damage to the cornea."

"What about that tube?" Rikku asked, staring down at her friend with apprehension. "Won't she choke on it?"

Jaelynn laughed and shook her head. "No, she won't. That's called intubation. It helps her breathe."

"She won't wake up, will she?" Rikku asked, biting down on her nail nervously.

"No, she won't. The anesthesiologist will make sure she stays asleep." She paused and walked over to a flat screen television that was mounted on the wall close to the ceiling. She turned it on and a close up view of the milky white skin of Paine's back appeared on the screen. My mouth dropped open in shock, the realization that we could watch the entire surgery hitting me in the face like a brick. "You guys can stay up here as long as you want. I'll come back every once in a while to check on you."

We thanked her then turned our attention back to the operating room below, watching as a nurse spread a blue cloth with a hole in the center over Paine's back. Then she took a sponge and spread a sickly yellow substance that I presumed was iodine over the part of her back that was exposed. I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest as I watched the doctors and nurses assemble around her. I clenched my hands in tight fists to prevent them from shaking. It was going to be a long night.


	13. Lips Like Sugar Cane

**Author's Note:** Just in time for Christmas! I'm so happy I got this chapter done for a Christmas release! I hope everyone that reads my story has a very enjoyable holiday. As always, I love to hear from my readers and I am very appreciative of the reviews I recieved for the last chapter. If any of you feel the impulse to leave me a few kind words when you're done reading, a review would be welcomed. In fact, reviews would be treated as Christmas presents for this hard working author. :)

Anyways, please enjoy this chapter. It's my Christmas present to all of you!

* * *

**Chapter XIII**

**Lips Like Sugar Cane**

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**(Baralai)**

Five hours, twelve minutes and twenty-three seconds.

That was when they closed her up and took her off the anesthesia. I couldn't even begin to describe the warm feeling that was spreading through my chest as I watched the nurses unhook her from all the machines and tape a large piece of gauze loosely over the incision. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief as I glanced over my shoulder at Yuna and Rikku, a small smile stretching across my face at the sight of their sleeping forms slumped in the chairs on the other side of the room. They had fallen asleep a couple hours ago but, even though I was exhausted myself, I retained my silent vigil at the window. I had no intentions of taking my eyes off of Paine even for a minute.

I had watched the entire procedure, hardly taking my eyes away from what was happening below me. The only time I allowed myself to look away is when I pulled a chair forward so I could sit down. Once they had started reconstructing her vertebrae though I was back to standing up, staring intently at the television monitor. I had no idea what they were doing but I was still fascinated by it. I had never seen anything like that before. I had thought seeing all that blood would make my stomach do somersaults but I hadn't been affected by it in the least.

I had also tried to decipher the doctor's medical jargon but I couldn't understand a thing. I was grateful for Jaelynn's intermittent check-ups; every time she came back I had another word or phrase that needed to be translated. Once I had gleaned enough information from her I discovered that they were going to be screwing small pieces of titanium over the cracks in her vertebrae, hopefully reinforcing them enough so they wouldn't be susceptible to any damage in the future. For her sake, I hoped it was going to work.

My mind was wrenched from my revere when someone tentatively rested their hand on my shoulder. I looked back met Yuna's sleepy bi-colored gaze. I tried to talk but my throat was dry from disuse. I swallowed a few times and cleared my throat before turning my attention back to her.

"Jaelynn just left," she said, stifling a yawn behind her hand. "She told me that Paine is being moved to a private room so she can start recovering. She said that she'll have a couple extra beds moved into Paine's room so we can stay with her."

I nodded, relieved that they were letting us stay. I had already made up my mind about staying with her so I was glad that I wasn't going to have to fight with the nurses. "Good," I replied, stretching my arms over my head and wincing as a couple of my ribs popped. "I could use a little sleep right about now."

"Jaelynn also gave me directions to Paine's room. Let's go now." Yuna wasted no time in waking her cousin up and relaying the same information to her. The whole time she was explaining what was going on the blonde Al Bhed was staring up at her with heavy eyes but was quick to follow us when we left the observation room.

This time around I kept pace with both girls as we made our way through the maze of white washed hallways. The prospect of having a bed to sleep in was the only thing propelling me forward. I knew Paine wasn't going to be awake for a while but I wanted to see her and be close to her. Looking at her from the other side of a thick pane of glass for over five hours and not being able to touch her was maddening.

We rode an elevator up to the top floor and came out in front of a nurse's station. The two women sitting behind the counter looked up at us as we walked past but paid us no mind. Yuna continued on down the hall and went into the last door on the left. It would be an extreme understatement to say I was relieved when I saw her. A thick blanket had taken the place of the thin sheet that had been covering her during surgery. And, just like Jaelynn had said, two beds were against the adjacent wall. It was a good thing that the room was so spacious or we wouldn't have been able to stay with her.

I staggered over to her bedside and kneeled down beside her then laid my head down on the mattress so our noses were practically touching. Her slow, rhythmic breathing almost put me to sleep right there but I forced myself to stay awake just a little bit longer. I kind of wished I could stay right where I was until she woke up but I didn't think I would be able to stay awake for much longer. I could feel my eyelids starting to slide shut of their own accord. So, before I fell asleep, I stood up and weaved my fingers into her soft hair then planted a kiss on the top of her head. Then I meandered over to one of the beds and collapsed into it, not even bothering to take off my shoes or even crawl under the blankets. Yuna and Rikku's whispers lulled me into a peaceful slumber, the feel of Paine's lips continuing to run circles in my mind.

**

* * *

**

**(Paine)**

Coming out of anesthesia was one of the weirdest things I had ever experienced. It seemed like I was flitting in and out of consciousness for what felt like days. Whenever I tried to make my eyes stay open it was like some unseen force was working against me. I couldn't stay awake for longer than a minute or two and during one of my waking periods I hardly had the strength to even open my eyes. By the fifth time around I was starting to get just a little agitated. I made sure to look at the small clock on my heart rate monitor and saw 9:43 a.m. staring back at me. I slipped back into unconscious a few seconds later.

The sixth time I woke up I stayed awake, much to my relief. I blinked my eyes in disbelief when I saw that it was almost noon. I huffed in indignation and pushed the call button on the rail of my bed. I was ravenous and hoped that I hadn't missed lunch. A few seconds later a nurse ran in and gasped in surprise when she saw me staring back at her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked like my life depended on it.

"Hungry," I replied, finally noticing how parched my throat was. I could see an IV bag hanging above me but ice water was sounding really good right about now. I spied a plastic cup with a lid and straw sitting on a tray out of my reach and my mouth immediately started watering.

"Lunch is going to be served in half an hour. You woke up just in time," she said, following my line of sight and bringing the cup close enough so I could take a drink. If I had been able to I would have given her a hug.

"When did my friends say they were going to be back?" I asked once I got enough to drink.

The nurse's eyes darted to the right which made me frown. "Well the two girls left not long ago. They said they were going to shower and change their clothes. There's a young man that's still sleeping over there," she said as she set the cup back on the tray.

My heart jumped into my throat at the nurse's words. I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, he had been the one constantly at my side for the past week. I was relieved that he was here; at least I wouldn't be alone now. "Can you wake him up, please?"

The nurse was reluctant, but gave in after I asked her enough. Baralai was at my side less than thirty seconds later, sliding over in front of me and making the nurse gasp in fright. She scowled at the back of his head before leaving the room. Baralai kneeled on the floor beside my bed and laced his fingers gently through mine. I could tell by the way he kept blinking that he was still trying to wake up.

"Can you feel your legs?" He asked, his voice still thick with sleep.

My jaw went lax as the realization that I hadn't even tried to move them since I woke up hit me full in the face, leaving me dumbstruck. That was a very good question. So I tried wiggling my toes and gasped when they responded. I locked gazes with Baralai, my eyes bulging in their sockets, and he smiled at me, knowing the good news without me having to tell him. Remember how I thought his intuitive instincts were a bad thing? Just forget I ever said that.

When Yuna and Rikku returned Baralai found chairs for all three of them and they parked themselves at my bedside. Rikku then proceeded to drill me with question after question about the events leading up to my accident and the week I spent in the Ronso village. I filled them in on whatever I could remember, keeping away from the fact that during my time with the Ronsos they had thought I was dead. I wasn't ready to hear any of that yet, especially anything else about what Baralai had gone through.

When my lunch arrived I was mortified when the nurse told me that I was going to have to be spoon fed for the next few days. Of course it made sense but that didn't make it any less embarrassing. So when Baralai volunteered to feed me I felt like burying my head underneath my pillow. I started to protest but he silenced me with a rather effective glare before taking the tray from the nurse. The nurse, whose name was Cora, stood at the foot of my bed, analyzing Baralai's actions with a critical eye.

But once I caught the aroma of the food in the tray I suddenly didn't care who was feeding me.

"Okay, what do you want first?" He asked, looking at my choices. "You've got chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes, apple sauce and chocolate pudding."

"Soup first, please," I replied, gingerly moving my head so he could reach my mouth easier.

His first couple attempts at transporting the soup to my mouth didn't end so well. He ended up getting more on my bed sheets than he got in my mouth. We laughed it off though and he put a napkin on the bed just in case he spilled more. Once his hand stopped shaking I actually got more than a few drops of broth at a time.

Not long after I finished eating the doctor that had performed my surgery – I think his name was Allbrook – came in to see how I was doing. After examining my sutures he dove into an extremely list of the things I could and couldn't do once I was released. I was going to have to wear a back brace for at least six months and any movements like twisting and bending over was out of the question. I wouldn't be able to drive for a while either. It's not like I would be able to anyways. My motorcycle was history. I could feel myself sinking farther and farther into the mattress as the list of restrictions got longer and longer. The next six months of my life were going to be a living hell.

The only thing that frightened me was being released and returning home. Either Yuna or Rikku was going to have to move in with me so I didn't end up killing myself. My eyes briefly settled on Baralai and the hope that he would want to stay with me passed through my mind.

The doctor went to leave then, telling me to get as much rest as possible and informing me that he would decide whether or not I would be able to go home at the end of the week. I groaned inwardly, feeling myself sink into the mattress even further. Living on hospital food for the next week was going to be torture and not being able to move very much was going to be even worse.

I had no idea how I was going to survive the next week. _I wonder if Baralai likes board games…_ I thought with ire.

That week passed exactly how I thought it would. Even though Baralai managed to get his hands on a checker board, a deck of cards and a few assorted board games, the first couple days were still murder. Falling asleep by myself was almost impossible. I hardly ever slept on my stomach so I had fake being in pain so the nurses would give me medication to help me sleep. Even then I never felt rested enough. Whenever Baralai left to get himself something to eat I watched TV to keep myself occupied. Since he was spending so much time with me it felt weird to be alone. I had no idea how I was going to live by myself anymore. _He'll just have to move in with you,_ my traitorous mind whispered to me.

I gasped and was grateful that Baralai was out on one of his sparse food quests. If he had been present he would have wanted to know what I was thinking. I tried to obliterate that thought from my mind but it wouldn't be silenced. The kiss we had shared before I went into surgery sprang up behind my eyes and made my cheeks get hot. Once again I thanked Shiva that Baralai wasn't here. I had been having very strange thoughts about him every since we had met and since I had kissed him they'd been popping up more and more frequently. I was getting to the point where I didn't want to push those thoughts away anymore; I was falling for him and my cautious side didn't like that one bit.

The next morning I was finally able to turn over onto my back and I was ecstatic. Once the nurses started moving me, though, it felt like one of them had stabbed me with a searing hot knife. I couldn't stop the cry of pain that burst out of my mouth. I fisted the bed sheets and bit down hard on the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from screaming anymore. I tasted copper on my tongue and grimaced. Baralai was immediately at my side, whispering calm reassurances in my ear. Once the pain had diminished to a dull throbbing I signaled for the nurses to give it another try. I tensed the muscles in my back and held my breath, biting back the barrage of screams that were trying to fight their way up my throat. It felt like hours had passed by the time I was finally on my back. I began to shake like the temperature in the room had suddenly dropped but it was really from the ripples of pain that were rolling off my back. I was mildly tempted to ask for some medication but decided not to; the pain had already begun to subside.

The next morning Dr. Allbrook came in and told me he wanted me to try and stand by myself. I shot Baralai a nervous sideways glance but he only smiled and squeezed my hand. I flexed my feet experimentally for what was possibly the millionth time then let Baralai help me sit up. I winced but endured the sharp flare that scorched a blazing path up and down my spine. I swung my legs off the bed without too much difficulty but as soon as I tried to stand my legs buckled. Baralai was standing on my left so he was able to catch me before I hit the floor.

"Alright, maybe we shouldn't try this yet," he said, already beginning to help me back to the bed.

"No, I need to do this," I replied, resisting sitting down. He met my eyes with a disapproving gaze and took a breath to say something but I quickly cut him off. "Don't argue with me. I'm doing this whether or not you want me to."

He sighed in defeat, his shoulders deflating only a fraction. Just when I thought he was going to continue to fight me he surprised me by relenting and helping me to regain my balance. Once I was steady he was reluctant to let go of me but relinquished his hold on my arm after I glared at him long enough. After he let go of me though I almost reached out and grabbed him. It really felt weird not to have full confidence in my legs. _This must be what it feels like when a baby is learning to walk,_ I thought as I gingerly slid my right foot forward. I could feel Baralai's eyes on me, watching my every step with a hawk's gaze.

The doctor saw how hesitant I was being and came to stand in front of me, preventing me from going forward. "Don't try to do too much too fast. I never said I wanted to see you walk today, but if you think you can do it just remember to take it slow."

Have I mentioned how much I love Dr. Allbrook's voice? Well I wish I had a recording of it. Hs voice is just so soothing. If he would have chosen to be a salesman instead of a doctor he would probably be ten times as wealthy as he is right now. I really hated being here and the fact that I wasn't going to be able to leave for a few days yet was even worse, but having him as my doctor made all this bullshit mildly tolerable.

So, in the end, I decided to throw caution to the wind and be just a little bit daring. I had never been one of those girls that played it safe anyways.

I continued to slide my foot forward hesitantly, taking the doctor's advice seriously when I felt the muscles in my back spasm painfully. I took a deep breath and slowed down. I didn't feel like hurting myself even worse and spending even more time here than absolutely necessary. I was already going stir crazy and I had only been here for hour days. I was determined to be back home when the week was up but not so determined to risk injuring my back any further.

When I tried transferring my weight onto my left foot so I could take another step, my knees suddenly began to shake uncontrollably. The fingers of my right hand twitched as I began to reach out for Baralai but I stopped. Instead I took another deep breath and forced myself to take the next step. By the time I was ready to take my third step I was so exhausted I was almost out of breath. Every time I moved the muscles in my back would spasm, sending quick bursts of pain shooting up my spine. I ground my teeth together and squeezed my eyes shut as I finally reached for Baralai, my hand immediately finding his shoulder.

"Alright, I'm done," I said, pushing those words out from behind my teeth.

Both nurses, along with Baralai's help, guided me back to the bed. Once I was lying down I promptly asked for pain medication then tried in vain to block out the fact that my spine felt like a live wire while I waited for the nurse to come back. Baralai let me squeeze his hand the entire time.

Over the next three days a physical therapist visited me twice a day and made me do a bunch of different exercises to help strengthen my back. She also helped me practice walking at least once a day. Baralai managed to persuade me into doing my exercises when the therapist wasn't there, reminding me that I would be able to go home if I improved enough. His words kept me motivated. Dr. Allbrook continually praised my improvement, raising my hopes of being able to go home by the end of the week. It made me feel that all the work I had done was worth it.

On the sixth night, the night before my hopeful discharge, Baralai posed some questions to me that I hadn't been prepared for. I could tell he wanted to say something by the way he was looking at me, but every time it seemed like he was going to speak he looked down at his hands. After the fourth time he averted his eyes away from me I was starting to get aggravated.

"Baralai." He looked up at the sound of my voice, hesitantly meeting my eyes. "Whatever you want to say just say it. Your fidgeting is pissing me off."

He laughed at my bluntness then looked away again, his cheeks darkening. "I'm sorry. It's just that I have two questions I want to ask but I have no idea which one I should ask first."

I couldn't help him with that one. "Stop overanalyzing it. You should know me by now; if I don't like the question I won't answer it."

He laughed again and I suddenly realized how much I loved the sound of it. His smile was gorgeous; the contrast between his teeth and hair made it seem like his mouth was glowing, but I digress. "You're right," he replied, looking away from me again and chewing on his bottom lip as he gathered his thoughts. "Well, this is just a suggestion but I've been wondering if I could stay with you while you recover. After you get out of the hospital, that is."

For a second I thought I imagined what he said. Ever since the doctor told me that someone was going to have to live with me I had been hoping that Baralai would volunteer. Of course, I would never admit that to him or anyone else. I was just starting to realize that I did indeed feel something for him, but I didn't want to jump the gun and open my mouth before it was time. _I just need to figure out when exactly that time is,_ I thought absent mindedly.

He must have taken my silence as a no because he launched into an explanation that almost sounded rehearsed. "I've already talked to Yuna and Rikku about it. Both of them said that I would be the best choice, even the nurses agree with them. They said there might be times when you'll need to be lifted or even carried and I know I'm strong enough to do that easily." He paused and rose from his chair, leaning over me with his face mere inches from mine. "To be honest, it's really not up to you anymore. I've already made the decision for you. I'm living with you whether you want me to or not."

I couldn't help the smile that crawled across my face. I was pleasantly surprised by his boldness. The fact that he was so insistent upon staying with me was impressing. I decided not to argue with him about it. "What's your next question then?" I asked, figuring this one would also require little action on my part. Boy, was I wrong.

"Before you went into surgery," he began, pausing for dramatic effect to swallow and lick his lips nervously. I knew right there that I wasn't going to like the rest of his question. In fact, I already knew what this certain question was going to be. Is it a bad thing that I was wishing, almost praying, for an interruption? "why did you kiss me?"

I was half a second away from blaming that minor slip in judgment on the drugs. That answer was perched on the end of my tongue, ready to jump out, but I knew that he deserved a better reason that that so I clamped my mouth shut. I racked my brain for any kind of believable excuse that I could come up with. _Should I just tell him the truth?_ I wondered to myself silently. _Do I even know the truth?_

"Because I wanted to," I answered, pulling the only answer out of my head that made sense.

Once those words came out of my mouth I knew I had said the right thing just by watching Baralai's reaction. Our faces were close enough that I could discern even the smallest change in his expression, but even if he had been standing across the room I would have been able to see his face clear as day. It was like I had just granted a personal wish of his by the way his eyes lit up. I allowed myself to get lost in his eyes, totally forgetting that I was lying in a hospital bed recovering from back surgery. I never thought I would ever find someone with eyes more beautiful than my father's. And the fact that I was admitting that to myself was miraculous. All the things I was feeling about Baralai was evidence that I was finally getting over my ex.

So before I had the chance to talk myself out of it, I once again hooked my fingertips in the collar of his shirt and slowly pulled his face closer to mine. His breathing suddenly became shallow and ragged when our noses were a hairsbreadth away from touching. I watched as his eyelids slid shut, hiding his eyes from me. I breathed in slowly before closing the gap between us and brushing my lips against his with a feather's touch. He opened his eyes just a fraction, enough to see me, then smiled before pressing his lips fully against mine. As soon as our lips touched he sucked air sharply through his nose and captured my top lip in his mouth. I fought off the impulse to bury my fingers in his hair, but when I felt his warm hands on my face my self-control completely disappeared. My fingers immediately buried themselves in his hair and I was distracted momentarily at how soft it was. He grabbed my full attention once more when his tongue grazed across my teeth. I couldn't help the moan that escaped as I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and gently kneaded it with my teeth.

I praised the fact that my mind wasn't loaded down with a bunch of drugs this time around. The kiss I gave him before was primarily for his benefit only because I had been so loopy that I barely knew that I had been kissing him. I vaguely remembered getting a kind of thrill out of it then but now was an entirely different story. Now I could feel exactly how soft his lips were. I could feel exactly how gentle he was being as his hands traveled across my face, through my hair and down my neck. The only thing I cared about at that moment was his lips, pliant, against mine and his hands on my face. Nothing else mattered.

That's when the interruption I had been praying for earlier arrived in the form of someone clearing their throat.

My face and throat immediately turned all the ungodly shades of red that I could think of as Baralai jumped away from me. My heart was thrumming like a hummingbird in my chest but as soon as I saw who was standing at the foot of my bed an overwhelming sense of dread settled in the pit of my stomach.

It was Rikku and she was holding the hot pink camera that she carried with her everywhere she went. The evil grin that was plastered on her face told me everything I needed to know. There was going to be blackmail in my future, I just knew it.

"I suppose no amount of bribing would make you delete those pictures, right?" I asked, my heart sinking into my stomach. I already knew the answer to that but it never hurt to hope otherwise.

She shook her head and chuckled to herself. "Not a chance. These are too good to even consider deleting. I love you and all but I couldn't pass up the opportunity." Then she proceeded to happily skip out of the room, presumably to go find Yuna.

I scowled at the empty doorway and knew right then that I would have to take matters into my own hands. Even if it killed me I was going to get my hands on that camera and then I was going after her.

I heard Baralai chuckle and whipped my head around to glare at him. "She got us," he remarked, sitting down in his chair as he continued to laugh.

I huffed, not finding our situation funny in the least. _Don't worry, Rikku, you'll get yours eventually,_ I thought, ideas of what I was going to do to her already running my head.


	14. Leave Yourself Behind

**Author's Note:**

First off I want to thank everyone that reviewed last chapter. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate it.

Anyways, a few things happen towards the end of this chapter but rest assured that this story is staying at a T Rating. That's what it started out as and that's the way it's staying. I realize that not everyone enjoys reading lemons, some people even get aggravated by it, so I will not be incorporating a lemon into this story. So if a few of you were worried that I was going to do that I hope this comes as good news to you. Also this chapter is in Paine's POV if any of you were wondering.

I hope you enjoy this chapter! I certainly had a lot of fun writing it.

* * *

**Chapter XIV:**

**Leave Yourself Behind**

* * *

"Which key opens your front door again?" Baralai asked, handing me the set of keys that he found among my motorcycle wreckage that morning.

It had dawned on me the previous night before I fell asleep that we had no way of getting inside my house. My spare keys were in my bedroom but that wasn't going to help us any. Baralai almost jumped up right then to go find them, already dialing his father to ask for his car back. I stopped him though, telling him that he had plenty of time to get them in the morning. Dr. Allbrook told me he was going to make his decision on whether or not I would be discharged in the morning. So if I wasn't going to be released then he would have enough time to drive out to the crash site and search for my keys in the morning.

Coincidentally, the doctor decided to release me after all. Baralai spent almost half an hour on the phone with his father practically begging for his car back. After the first fifteen minutes I was skeptical that he was going to relent so when he told me that his father would be delivering his car to the hospital in the next hour I was taken aback. When I asked him what kind of car he had he only smiled and said I would find out when I saw it. I'm glad he didn't tell me what it was because as soon as I saw it I was insanely jealous.

I was scared to even look at his sleek, top of the line muscle car for fear of scratching it. That was the kind of car I would want if I liked cars. When he pulled up to the curb with it I was shell shocked. Out of all the possible cars I imagined he would have the one that was in front of me now hadn't even entered my mind. The white paint was immaculately shiny, no trace of dirt was visible anywhere. The sun glinted off the navy blue racing stripes that arched gracefully across the hood, roof and back end. The deep thrum of the engine only made my jealousy flare even more. He jumped out of his _freaking amazing car_ and ran around to the passenger door, swiftly pulling it open before jogging over to me. We both thanked the nurse that was waiting with me then he helped me into the passenger seat before driving away.

Now I was watching as he walked towards my front door, the correct key in his hand. While I waited I turned my attention back to the strange pockets in his hood. I had meant to ask him on the ride from the hospital but I had still been coming down from my 'awesome car' high. I was so star struck, in fact,that I didn't even realize it when Baralai pulled into my driveway. I squinted my eyes as I leaned forward to get a better look at the hood and almost hit my head on the roof when I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye.

Baralai was leaning on the doorframe with a mischievous look in his eyes. One corner of his mouth curled up as he followed my line of sight. "What are you staring at?" He asked, a hint of laughter in his voice, as he opened the door to help me out.

"Those…holes in the hood. What are they?" I flinched as he swung my legs out of the car and pulled me up.

He chuckled as he wrapped his arm securely around my waist; the blush that colored my cheeks could have been seen from a mile away. "Those are called channels. They provide down force for the front tires. They're the equivalent of a wing. Here, let me show you something." He carefully propped me up on the side of the car next to the door then, instead of going towards the front, he walked towards the back and opened a compartment directly behind the cab. "This is a mid-engine car so it needs channels in the hood instead of a wing to provide the correct amount of down force to keep the car on the road."

I had to physically hold my jaw shut to prevent it from dropping open _again_. I decided then and there that I was going to persuade him somehow to let me take it for a spin. His whole engine compartment was spotless. It looked like he had just driven it off the lot. _Well he had been grounded for a while. He's probably had more than enough to time to keep it maintained._ "Do you have any idea how jealous I am right now?" I asked as I leaned forward to get a better look.

He chuckled underneath his breath and carefully shut the hatch. "Yeah, I could tell as soon as I saw your expression back at the hospital. It was my sixteenth birthday present." He tapped a button on his keychain and the horn chirped once, signaling that the alarm was set. "If you don't mind I'd like to pull my car into the garage once I have you settled. A nice car like that never goes unnoticed."

I nodded. "Sure, I'll find my extra garage door opener." My breath caught in my throat as my conversation with Baralai took my concentration away from walking and the toe of my right foot caught itself on the edge of my doorstep. I instinctively reached for him, the thought of falling causing me to grind my teeth together, but his strong hands had already wrapped firmly around my upper arms. I took a couple deep breaths to calm my racing heart then gently patted one of his hands. "Thank you. I'm okay now."

The pressure on my arms lessened and I began to move forward once again, thinking he was letting me go, but I gasped audibly when I felt his breath on my neck. Goosebumps popped up all over my neck and I didn't fight the shiver that travelled down my spine. Before I even realized what I was doing I tilted my head to the right so he could move closer to me. I blanched at my reaction, shocked that I had done something like that. Just as I was about to correct my lapse in judgment I felt his breath blow across my ear, effectively holding me in place and making my chest shudder.

"I'll just have to help you work on walking and talking at the same time then huh?" He inquired, his voice a low, husky whisper that was making my stomach do somersaults.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I replied, unable to hide the waver in my voice as I stepped away from him as quickly as I possibly could.

As soon as I passed through the threshold of my front door and entered my house for the first time in what felt like an eternity the first thing I wanted to do was lay down on the floor and smell the carpet. There were no words I could use that would express how happy and relieved I was to finally be back home. I had missed my bed, my couch, my shower. I knew from now on to never take a home cooked meal for granted. You never know when you might have to go on a strict diet of dried meat, bread, mountain grown mushrooms and water. I didn't have to look at myself in a mirror to know that I had lost weight.

"I'm pretty sure you want a shower, right?" Baralai asked innocently as he closed the door behind him.

"Yeah, I do." I froze as his question fully sank in and turned towards him apprehensively. The nurses at the hospital had given me sponge baths and the thought of Baralai doing that made my whole neck and face flare an unsightly bright red. I nervously swallowed the lump that had settled in my throat and tried to act nonchalant. "I don't have to keep getting sponge baths do I?"

Baralai's jaw dropped open when he caught the meaning behind my question. I could tell he was just as embarrassed as I was. "Um, ye – I mean, no!" He stammered in exasperation. "The doctor said you can shower by yourself as long as the incision isn't submerged. I'll redo your dressing once you get out." As soon as he was finished speaking he beat a hasty retreat back out the front door, more than likely to wait for his own blush to fade.

I carefully made my way back to my room using the wall for support. When I saw my bed the only thing I wanted to do was lay down in it and inhale the familiar scent of my sheets for a little while. I was on the brink of giving into temptation when I heard my shower calling my name. For only a few seconds I was torn between my bed and my shower but, in the end, the shower won. I quickly grabbed a spare set of clothes before rushing into my bathroom like I was on a time limit.

I climbed out of the shower almost forty-five minutes later, much happier than when I had gotten in. The hot water had helped my back muscles relax and that did wonders for my healing vertebrae. Baralai had checked on me a few times to make sure I was doing and when I dropped the soap bar he came running in like his heels were on fire thinking I had fallen. I thanked Shiva for the frost glass of my shower doors and the obscene amount of steam filling the room or else he would have seen a lot more than he meant to. He apologized up and down before running back out, quickly closing the door behind him.

After I was fully dressed with my back brace strapped back in place I emerged from my bedroom, combing my fingers through my wet hair. I could hear Baralai rooting around in the kitchen, more than likely familiarizing himself with the layout. I felt an odd twisting sensation in my gut when the thought that he would be living with me possibly for the rest of the school year popped up in my mind. I knew already that nothing good would come from this. I couldn't explain my feelings towards him and, frankly, I didn't want to I was almost willing to go as far as to say that I didn't want those feelings at all but I knew that was a lie. I sighed when he came into view, standing in front of the fridge and looking through my meager provisions. I felt my shoulder droop, wondering if I could really trust him.

I quickly regained my composure and tried to pretend that I was having a difficult time when he saw me. He smiled then quickly joined my side, guiding me over to my small dining room table so I could sit down. "Well I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" He asked as he went back to the fridge and continued looking through it.

"I don't really care," I replied, trying to cross my legs but realizing too late that wasn't such a good idea.

"Alright, bad news first then. Most of the food in your fridge has gone bad."

"Well I could have guess that one."

"Yeah, but the good news is we get to go shopping for groceries."

"You like to shop?" I asked incredulously. He didn't look like the shopping type at all.

"Oh yeah, especially when it comes to food," he replied with a half-smile.

I rolled my eyes. _Typical guy,_ I thought. _I should have known that one too._ Tidus and Gippal were the same exact way. It was a nightmare when all of us went out to eat at a buffet. Those two could pack away obscene amounts of food. It was unbelievable how much they could eat. "Okay then. Write up a list and we'll go to the store."

So two hours and over five hundred gil later we were finally on our way back to my house. We had already decided from the get go that we were going to split the cost of all the food and, even though I had a small fortune tucked away in my bank account, I was still flabbergasted by how much we had spent. The small storage compartment in the front of his car was filled to capacity as well as my side of the car. I can only imagine what other people were thinking when they saw a head sticking out of all the plastic bags. Baralai had to be one of those that went food shopping hungry; whenever he saw something he liked he grabbed it. When we went to check out we had almost three full carts – including the basket on my little buzz cart – and I wished I had a paper to put over my head. Of course all the store employees and other shoppers knew me, practically everyone in Luca and half of Spira did. It only made it worse when he told the unlucky clerk that we were having a wild party. I could have died of embarrassment right there.

All he did was laugh when I told him that I was going to kill him.

It was two weeks later when the situation between us was given a violent shove from awkward to intensely interesting.

Before I get into that though… After the first couple days I became shocked by how easy it was to live with him. He kept up on the housework better than I did before my accident and even helped me with dinner. By the way, we had bought so much food that we wouldn't need to go shopping again at least for two months, but with the way that Baralai ate I wasn't sure if we would even make it that long. He was just like Tidus and Gippal in the aspect that he could eat all he wanted and not gain a pound. He would make a fortune if he could bottle his metabolism.

Anyways, he told me after about a week that his parents had to fight with him to get him to do housework. I couldn't help but feel just a teensy bit special but didn't waste any time in telling him that when he went back to his own house that he needed to pretend that I was there just so he would help his parents. He laughed and said that would be hard.

Anyways, after our most recent 'situation', I had locked myself in my bathroom to try and screw my head back on because Baralai had literally blown it off.

I had just gotten out of the shower and had forgotten to turn on the fan so the bathroom was filled with steam. I opened the door so all the heat could escape, not even thinking about my current housemate. I thought I had closed my bedroom door but, of course, I had forgotten that as well. Baralai knows that whenever I open my bathroom or bedroom door after I take a shower I'm decent enough for him to come check on me.

Tonight that was _not_ the case.

I was completely naked in front of my mirror drying my hair with my towel when I heard his soft footfalls crossing the small space of carpet in between my bedroom door and my bathroom. Everything around me suddenly began moving in slow motion like it did in the movies sometimes. I could remember exactly what happened even it should have been moving too fast for me to comprehend. I ripped the towel away from my head and tried moving out of his line of sight at the same time, which turned out to be a very bad idea.

Since I didn't have my back brace on the sudden movement sent my back into painful spasms that made me lose my footing on the slick tile. I remembered looking down at the floor and thinking about how much hitting the floor was going to hurt when I felt Baralai's arms wrap around me. There was about two seconds of feeling suspended before he unceremoniously lost his balance and crashed to the floor. I cried out when my head smacked the floor, causing flashes of light to burst behind my eyes. My toes twitched as sharp stabs from my back travelled down my legs.

"Are you okay?" Baralai asked, his eyes wide with fear. I could detect a frantic tone in his voice.

I nodded, unconcerned about my back or the throbbing in my head. Those trivial things didn't concern me; it was the horrifying realization that I was lying on the floor naked with Baralai on top of me. My towel had managed to conceal at least a small amount of my dignity but that was irrelevant. Baralai's eyes kept flitting up and down, the same realization more than likely running circles through his mind. I was frozen in place, too scared to do anything but stare wide eyes up at him like a chocobo caught in the head lights.

I was even scared to breathe. His chest was flush against mine and every time I took a breath I could feel his heart racing from its place in his ribcage. I could hear my own heart thrumming a beat similar to his and I knew without a doubt that, if I could feel his, he could feel mine as well. I tried to think of something, anything, that I could say that would help dispel this but I couldn't get my brain to cooperate.

That's when weird thoughts started filtering into my head. The same thoughts, in fact, that I had every time I was a little too close to him. Just one whiff of his cologne was enough to send my senses into a frenzy. Those ridiculous commercials about women being drawn to man only because of his cologne were really starting to make sense. It was almost like I was intoxicated by it and the scary part was I loved it. _I really shouldn't be so close to him. It's bad for my health,_ I thought as I felt myself relax almost against my will.

My breath caught in my throat when he shifted his weight. My hands tightened into claws, the tips of my fingers grasping at the tile beneath me. He moved closer to me, his pupils shrinking into tiny circles, and I tipped my head back a fraction. I knew what he was going to but this time I wanted it. I couldn't even put to words how much I wanted him to kiss me. I could feel the yearning bubbling in the pit of my stomach, steadily driving me insane. It was like he was moving slow on purpose, like he knew what I wanted and was taking delight in torturing me.

That's when I decided to take matters into my own hands. I thrust my right hand up, fisted it into his hair and slammed his mouth down onto mine. His sharp intake of breath through his nose and the way his body stiffened against mine told me that he hadn't been expecting me to make such a bold move. He recovered quickly though and wasted no time in returning my kiss with just as much fervor. One of his hands began crawling up my side and I almost stopped him but the more carnal side of me forbid it. All of my inhibitions were steadily disappearing every second I continued kissing him the funny thing about it was that I _wanted_ that and needed it in the worst way.

I was tired of having to guard my heart like a fortress. I'd been doing it for so long that I couldn't even remember when I had started. Rikku had told me once if I never put my heart on the line I was never going to find "the one". And dammit, she was absolutely right. I was a fool to think that I was above having my heart broken. I was still in high school. I could start worrying about if Baralai was Mr. Right after we graduate. So, with that new mindset, I deepened our kiss and buried both hands into his hair, figuring he wasn't going to mind if I mess it up a little. A moment later I reluctantly pulled my hands out of his hair and dragged them slowly down the sides of his face and down his neck until they came to rest on his shoulders. I let them explore every plane of his back and marveled at how muscular he was. For a second I actually thought I was having a very good dream. That is, until I realized that, before now, I had never thought – or dreamed of for that matter – of doing anything like this.

A myriad of shivers shot down my spine when he ran his tongue across my top lip before sucking it into his mouth, causing me to dig my nails into his shoulders. He moaned then, low and in his throat, and I suddenly felt the urge to be a little more daring. I carefully hooked my left leg around his right then slowly pulled it up his body until it was wrapped snugly around his waist. He responded by grasping my thigh and gently kneading the soft flesh. His mouth moved away from mine and travelled to my neck, planting soft kisses all over my heated skin and even going as far as gently sucking on the space where my shoulder joined my neck. One of my hands returned to his to his head, my fingers once again burying themselves in the soft down that was his hair and clutching him like my life depended on it.

Then, before I could even comprehend what was going on, he had lifted me off the floor and set me in his lap. My right leg immediately copied my left, pulling our bodies just that much closer together. The fact that I was naked in his lap with only a towel between us no longer mattered to me; he could have taken me right then and I wouldn't have cared. He continued to ravage my neck and I tightly gripped his shoulders as I arched my back, earning a half-moan, half-growl from Baralai. But then he pulled away from my neck and that's when our gazes met for the first time since all of this started. As soon as I saw his lust filled gaze my mind came to a screeching halt. I gasped and, even though my back protested loudly, I pushed away from him while wrapping my towel securely around me. I scurried away from him almost like I was frightened of him and the ramifications of what I had almost allowed myself to do hit me full in the face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, wishing I could look away from him but unable to take my eyes off of his face. "I'm sorry. I can't."

I heard him breathe in deeply. "It's alright. I should be the one apologizing. I just didn't want you to get hurt." His clothes rustled together as he got up and his footsteps disappeared down the hall. The sound of his door closing a second later echoed through the house.

I stayed there on the floor a few moments longer, the only thing I could hear was my heavy breathing and my racing heart. A sense of foreboding buried itself in my stomach as I wondered if I had just made a very big mistake by rejecting him so harshly. I let out choked gasp as I pulled myself up with the help of the bathroom counter. My feet felt like lead weights as I stumbled towards the door, peeking my head out to make sure the coast was clear before carefully shutting the door and locking it. I pressed my back up against the cold wood and felt the burn of tears as my vision blurred. I wiped my eyes though and got dressed, trying to block the hurt that I saw in Baralai's eyes before he left. I stood like a statue in front of the mirror, the last ten minutes replaying over and over in my head.

And that's what I've been doing for the past hour. My brain was on auto-pilot; I didn't even know what to think. I kept asking myself why I had stopped. I hadn't even meant to. My instincts had taken over to the point where I no longer had control of my body. Once I had seen that rejected look in his eyes – the eyes that I had come to love – I knew I had made a huge mistake. I was currently torn between two options: going to him and finishing what we had started or just going to bed. I wanted to go to him but I couldn't bring myself to walk out of my bathroom and I had no idea why. Every time I thought of what he had made me feel while he was kissing me made me want much, much more. I sighed in defeat and gently combed my fingers through my hair.

"To hell with it," I said, giving into my feelings and walking towards his room. I sighed in relief when I saw that the light in his room was still on and assumed that he was still awake. At least that's what I was hoping. I just about lost my nerve once I was outside his door but I quickly knocked on it before I had the chance to second guess myself. "Baralai? Are you awake?"

When I didn't hear a response I almost turned around and went back to my room, my bravery hanging by a thread, but instead I pushed the door open to prevent myself from running away. When I saw him awake, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, the realization that he had purposefully ignored me both angered and disappointed me. I knew he was angry at me but that didn't help the rejection that was building up in my chest. _Is this how I made him feel?_ I asked myself, regretting ever hurting him. My actions earlier were the reason why he was angry so I had no place to be angry back at him. I could tell that he was forcing himself not to look at me, which made me feel even more disappointed and almost sad. I huffed and marched into the room. If he wasn't going to acknowledge me willingly then I was going to force him to look at me.

Instead of choosing to sit on and stand next to the bed I climbed up and straddled him, shooting him the best glare that I could and still look serious. He kept his face aggravatingly devoid of emotion for about ten seconds before a smile slowly spread across his face. He wrapped his hands around my hips and drew soft circles on my skin with his thumbs. "What took you so long?"

"I had to kick my own butt a couple times. Stuff like that takes a while," I replied, smiling a bit myself. Then I remembered why I had come into his room in the first place and got serious. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stopped you." While I was saying this I leaned over him and circled my arms around his head. His fingers slipped under my tank top and began inching slowly up my back, becoming hesitant when he brushed over the healing incision. "Actually I shouldn't have stopped myself."

His hands continued their exploration. "Why did you?"

I didn't really want to tell him because I was kind of embarrassed about it. It was a lame excuse and I knew it. "This is going to sound really stupid. I saw the look in your eyes."

He frowned and his hands stopped moving. "What do you mean?"

"I could tell what you wanted by the look in your eyes and I guess it scared me."

"You guess?" He echoed, one of his dark eyebrows arching gracefully.

"I told you it was a stupid reason," I mumbled, playing with a strand of his to keep from looking at him.

"Hey," he said as he touched my cheek in an attempt to get my attention. I met his gaze hesitantly. "I know you have no reason to believe me but I would never use you then throw you away. I'm not like that."

I sighed and nodded, grabbing his hand so I could lace our fingers. "I know and I want you to know that I'm trying. I'm tired of having to guard my emotions all the time. Believe it or not, I wasn't always like this."

"I'm willing to put up with you, if you'll have me." He flashed a full smile at me then and somehow I knew I could trust him. I didn't quite know how but I did and that was all I cared about.

I hesitantly lowered my face towards his but stopped right before our lips touched. "Then I'm going to have to learn how to put up with, aren't I?"

His smile widened and he closed the miniscule distance between us, pulling me into a tender embrace. I sighed into his mouth and fisted my hands into his shirt, melting into his embrace. When he slowly began to strip my clothes off of me I didn't offer any kind of resistance and even helped to relieve him of his own clothes. That night easily took the top spot on my Best Night Ever list.

When I woke up that morning the smile that spread across my face was almost too big to comfortably fit on my mouth. Memories of the previous night came rushing back and I welcomed the warmth that they brought me. I reached toward where I knew Baralai would be but frowned in confusion when the space next to me was empty. I lifted my head off of the pillow and my frown deepened when he wasn't even in the room. I spied his shirt on the floor next to mine but his jeans were nowhere to be found. I was surprised that he had managed to get up and put his pants on without even waking me up.

That's when I smelled the coffee.

My smile broadened as I unwrapped the blankets from around me and got dressed, substituting his shirt for my own. I tried not to drool when I saw him shirtless. I hadn't really been interested in looking at his body the other night. I was preoccupied with kissing him. I would have never guessed how muscular he was when I first met him a month ago. I wouldn't have even pegged him as the Blitzball playing type. At first, it seemed like he was more book smart than anything.

My smile grew even wider when I saw that he was making breakfast. Even though him cooking breakfast in the morning had become a routine since he moved in now that we were considered 'together', if that's even what we are, made it feel different somehow. I realized a little too late that my hands were frigid when I touched his shoulders. He jumped then immediately turned around and wrapped his arms around me. The kiss we shared then was long and made my head spin.

"Good morning," he said, reaching behind him and handing me a steaming mug of coffee. "I knew you would be up as soon as you smelled this so I took the liberty of starting it for you. I'm not sure how much cream you like."

I kissed him again just to let him know how much I appreciated the gesture. "Many thanks," I said, opening my fridge to get the cream.

He came to stand behind me while I stirred in my cream and left soft trails of kisses down my neck and shoulder. It felt like my lips were turned up into a permanent smile and it actually felt good to be so happy again. I leaned into his embrace and reveled in my newfound freedom, letting my eyes slide shut as he worked his magic. I was just about to turn around and kiss him when a sharp knock came out of nowhere. I frowned and looked at Baralai, finding my expression mirrored on his face. I swiftly pulled his shirt off and handed it back to him.

"If you don't mind answering that I'll be right back. I don't think I should be answering the door in your clothes."

He chuckled as I walked away. "I guess I have no choice now, do I?"

Instead of grabbing the shirt that I had discarded in his room the previous night I went into my room to find a bra and different shirt. Since I was in the back of the house I didn't hear what Baralai said when he answered the door. I'm glad because the scene that I saw in front of me as I made my way back into the living room almost made my legs give out.

A short brunette was climbing all over an angry Baralai like he was a jungle gym _inside my house_. My anger flared so hot that I saw red. My body started moving forward without my permission and that's when I blacked out.


	15. Eyes on Fire

**Author's Note:**

Hello all! Thank you to everyone that reviewed last chapter. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kind words.

Anyways, if none of you recognized what Baralai's car is last chapter anyone that wants to go see what it looks like should go to any search engine like Google or MSN and search the images for a car called a Ford GT. Baralai's parents are filthy rich in this fic so I figured him having a disgustingly expensive car wouldn't be too much of a problem. It's a beautiful car and thought it fit so yeah! I had a little bit of trouble with the first part of this chapter but after a couple hours of bouncing my head off the wall this is what came out of my muddled brain. I hope all of you like it!

Oh and just to warn all of you I'm going to be pretty busy over the next couple of weeks so the next chapter might be a little delayed. Rest assured that I'll be working diligently though. Of course I could be persuaded to write a little faster if you guys leave me some reviews and tell me how you like this chapter! :P

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**Chapter XV:**

**Eyes on Fire**

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**(Baralai)**

If I would have known who was on the other side of the door I never would have answered it. Maybe then I would have been able to control the events that followed.

I thought I was having a nightmare when I saw my ex-girlfriend standing outside. My mouth dropped open, my mind reeling at how she had found me. My car was parked in the garage and the only people that knew where I was were my parents and our group of friends. None of my friends even knew her and my parents despised her so they wouldn't have told her even if she asked.

She scowled at me when I didn't say anything to her. "Don't look so surprised, Baralai. And here I was thinking that you would be happy to see me." She smiled coyly at me before launching herself through the air towards me. I hadn't been expecting her to do something like that so I didn't have enough time to react. She slammed into my chest and sent me staggering backwards into the door, almost causing me to fall down. She locked her ankles around my waist to prevent me from prying her loose then started kissing and biting my neck like she had done while we were dating.

All I could think of while she was climbing all over me was what Paine would think when she came back. She had just given me her trust and all of that was about to be destroyed. "Kiele, get off of me!" I urged, attempting to keep my voice low. I had to get her out of here before Paine came out of her room. I tried yanking her off me but she was like a leech. Every time I tried to free myself her advances only became more and more aggressive. "I'm not kidding around! Get off me!"

The urge to hit her was so strong that I almost acted on it, but the promise I had made to myself about never hitting a girl wouldn't allow it. Even then every fiber of my being was screaming for me to get her off. I could see Paine's face in my mind's eye and I hated what I saw. I knew how betrayed she was going to feel and I refused to do that to her. With a new found determination I flung my arms behind me as far as I could, wrapped my hands around her ankles and pulled for everything I was worth. All my concentration was centered on getting Kiele off me so when an alabaster hand shot forward and wrapped around Kiele's neck I was struck dumb.

Only when Kiele had been ripped off of me and slammed against the wall did I realize that it was Paine who had grabbed her. My heart jumped into my throat, scared out of my mind that she was going to hurt her back. I wasn't worried about Kiele at all; she deserved whatever Paine was going to do to her as long as she didn't kill her. I was just glad to have her off me.

"Do you have a death wish?" Paine yelled, her ruby eyes holding Kiele's green ones in their grasp. "You think you can just barge in here and act like you own the place? Who do you think you are, _bitch_!"

Kiele's face was starting to turn purple and her feet, which were a good three or four inches above the ground, were flailing about wildly. She tried to speak but only a few choking gurgles made it out. I was floored by what Paine was doing. _Talk about an adrenaline rush…_ I thought as I hurried over, my heart in my throat, and tried to get Paine's attention. "Paine, stop!" I yelled, wrapping my hand around her wrist firmly. As soon as she heard my voice she whirled around and let go of Kiele at the same time, capturing me with her blazing eyes. She leveled me with a glare so volatile I swore I could feel the heat coming off of her.

"How did she know where you were, Baralai? How did she know where I live?" She snarled, her voice dripping with venom. She ripped her eyes away from me and laughed then; it was a bitter sound that held no humor what so ever. She brought her hands up and fisted them into her hair and laughed again. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. "I can't believe this… I seriously can't believe this. I trusted you…" All the bitterness and venom disappeared from her voice only to be replaced with remorse when she said those last few words.

My breath caught in my throat and I staggered back when the implications of those words hit me full in the face. It felt like she had just ripped my heart out of my chest and crushed it beneath her foot. She had actually trusted me, but now, because of Kiele, everything I had done to gain that trust was all for naught.

"Paine, no, you don't understand. I haven't –"

"Shut up!" She exclaimed, cutting me off. I wasn't going down without a fight though.

"No, you need to let me explain!"

"No, I don't! I'm sure whatever you're going to say is a wonderfully constructed lie. I made the mistake of thinking I could trust you." She paused to take a deep breath, her chest shuddering as she did so. "I want you to leave. The next time I come out of my room you better not be here."

"Paine, no, please! Don't do this!" My panic clawed its way up my throat when the thought that I was losing her crossed my mind. As she was walking by I grabbed her hand and refused to let it go even when she tried to rip it away. Her expression was far from welcoming. "Please, don't walk away."

For a split second I thought I saw indecisiveness pass through her eyes but no sooner had it appeared, it was gone. She looked down at my hand and sneered at it before using her free hand to pry my fingers off one by one. "Don't touch me," she spat, before striding down the hallway and slamming her door hard enough to make the walls shake.

I stared at the place she had been standing in not five seconds ago in wide eyed disbelief, still unable to register what had just happened. I could still feel the sting of her parting words. _Don't touch me,_ she had said. It felt like I had just been stabbed in the chest. How could the best night of my entire life end up turning out this way?

My eyes moved on their own to where Kiele was still sitting, holding her throat, and I didn't bother holding back the scowl that was already beginning to form on my face. "I hope you're happy now. I really, really do." She met my eyes and I swore I could see victory in her gaze. "I hate you."

Her face fell and her mouth dropped open in shock. Apparently she hadn't been expecting me to react that way. "But Baralai –"

"But nothing!" I bellowed, making her cringe. "I wish you would just leave me alone! I don't want anything to do with you! How many times do I have to tell you that before you get it? You need to get out now before I seriously lose my temper!" I was so angry my entire body was quivering. I needed to break something and if she didn't leave in the next five seconds that 'something' was liable to be her.

She scurried to her feet and ran to the front door, pausing in the entryway and looking back at me. "Just for your information, I don't know where you live here so asking your parents wasn't even an option. I saw your car yesterday down near the stadium and I followed you back here."

I gaped at her. "Don't you think that you should have said something a few minutes ago? You know, before she pretty much accused me of bringing you over here? Just get out of my sight." I shoved her the rest of the way out the door then slammed and locked it.

In the tense seconds after Kiele's departure I was at a loss for what to do next. I knew Paine had told me to leave but I remembered seeing that flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. I still wasn't going to give up and I had a feeling that she didn't want me to give up either. I had never wanted someone so much in my life and a small speed bump like my ignorant, self-centered ex wasn't going to keep me from her. Not by a long shot.

I went into my room and paced, giving her time to calm down and cool off. I kept my eyes on the clock as the time slowly ticked by, wanting to wait at least half an hour. Nothing good would happen if I tried to talk to her while she was still angry. A plan was quickly formulating in my mind and I wanted to make her think, if only for a little while, that I was actually following her orders and leaving. As soon as the clock struck noon I made the bed, hid my suitcase underneath it and placed her thank top on the dresser. Then I walked through the kitchen, opened the door leading to the garage, counted to three, closed it and waited.

No more than ten seconds later I heard the door to her room open.

I quickly went to stand next to the kitchen counter and waited for her to come into view. My heart started pounding in my ears when she emerged from the hallway and when she saw me she was so surprised to see me standing there that she almost lost her balance. I watched her face carefully as she steadied herself. I thought she looked relieved but I couldn't be certain.

"I thought I told you to leave," she said, standing her ground at the entrance to the hallway. When she met my gaze I could tell she had been crying. My heart plummeted down into my stomach.

"I don't want to. I didn't do anything wrong," I replied simply.

Paine sighed heavily, her shoulders shaking, as she covered half of her face with her hand. "Yes, you did. You betrayed my trust," she replied, sounding dangerously close to bursting into tears again. Seeing her so vulnerable and broken killed me.

I slowly approached her, making sure to keep my face as stoic as I possibly could even though the tumult of emotions whirling through my head made it hard for me to concentrate. I stopped directly in front of her and leaned against the wall. "No, I didn't. I never told Kiele where I was, I swear."

"Then how did she find my house?" She asked, her voice a hollow whisper.

"You know how we went to my mom's bed and breakfast yesterday?" She nodded. "Kiele recognized my car and followed us back here." She narrowed her eyes and glared at me suspiciously, trying to determine if I was really telling the truth. "I don't have any reason to lie to you." I was almost choking on the lump in my throat, praying to Shiva that she wouldn't order me away again.

She stared at me a few moments longer then made a strange noise in her throat before walking back to her room and closing the door. I stayed where I was, perplexed by her actions. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to follow her or go into the living room and wait for her to come back out. Then again, I didn't want to encroach upon her personal space but I also didn't want to give up trying to prove my innocence. The fact that she hadn't said anything before going into her room left me feeling unsettled. So, as I reluctantly meandered towards her couch, I hoped that she wasn't going to stay in her room for the rest of the night.

When I heard her door open almost ten minutes later I couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped my lungs. I vaulted up from the couch and met her in the hallway, frowning when I saw her fully dressed, back brace and all.

"I want to go to the studio." Both her eyes and her voice were flat. She had spent a grand total of almost forty-five minutes in her room but that had been enough time for her rebuild those walls that had been around her when I first met her. Now I was probably going to have to spend twice as long tearing them back down.

"Sure," I replied, quickly going into my room to put my shoes on and grab my keys before she changed her mind.

She was seated at her small dining room table when I came back in. I hesitantly touched her shoulder and felt sick to my stomach when she flinched, quickly moving away from my hand. When she turned to look at me I valiantly hid how much that one action had stung. "Ready?" I asked, keeping my voice as level as I could.

She nodded once then carefully rose from her chair and walked out of the house without waiting to see if I was following her. I sighed heavily and trudged into the garage behind her.

The drive to the studio was a silent one. I wanted to say something but nothing I thought of sounded right. I tried to hide how nervous I was but every time I reached for the gear shift I could feel my fingers shaking. Whenever I looked at her out of the corner of my eye it was like I was looking at a statue. She didn't move – and from what I would tell, didn't look at me – the entire time.

I tried helping her out of the car after I had parked outside the studio but she refused to let me. Instead she chose to pull herself out and, by the look on her face, she regretted that decision almost right away; her pride kept her from reaching for me though. I only stood back and watched her, giving her her space but not really enjoying it. I was no stranger to the cold indifference she was treating me with but that didn't mean I was used to it.

"Do you need my help with anything?" I asked as she turned all the lights and sound equipment on.

She didn't answer for a few moments and I thought she was going to ignore me until she met my gaze for the first time since we left the house. "I'll let you know," she replied, the hard edge to her voice no longer present. "I just need to clear my head. Wait in here, please."

So I waited. I spent about ten minutes watching Paine play the piano. I had been hoping she would sing something but she never did. After the sound of the piano became monotonous I turned to the computer, choosing to watch the video that she had recorded before the accident that we thought had claimed her life. By the time I saw Paine approaching me out of the corner of my eye I was on the tenth play through of the video. I quickly stopped it then turned to her, preparing myself for whatever was going to be happening next.

What she did then I hadn't been prepared for.

I had leaned back from the computer screen and fallen back against the chair when she had come into the room. I was in the process of rubbing my eyes when I felt her sit down on my lap and wrap her arms around my neck. I was so surprised, in fact, that I wasn't exactly sure what to do next. I slowly pulled my hands away from my face and met her red eyes, which were only a few inches from my own. I searched them for a few moments, trying to figure out what was going through her mind.

"Are you better now?" I asked, slowly letting my hands encircle her waist.

She nodded and tucked her head into the hollow of my throat. "I think so," she replied, drawing little designs on my collarbone with the tip of her finger. Her breath blew across my neck as she spoke, making a small tremor shoot down my spine. "I know what happened wasn't your fault."

I felt an immense wave of excitement wash over me but I kept my elation in check. "What finally made you believe me?" I asked, burying my nose into her hair and breathing in deeply.

"Nothing. I just realized what I already knew." She looked up at me then and a genuine smile spread across her face that even reached her eyes.

I smiled back at her and, after I couldn't figure out what to say, leaned forward to kiss her. When she didn't push me away, I felt like I was on top of the world. The fact that she had put so much of her trust in me was humbling. When I had seen Kiele on the other side of that door earlier I never would have envisioned this day ending up with Paine once again in my arms.

"How's your back?" I inquired after our most recent make-out session had come to an end.

"It hurts."

"How much?" I asked, becoming concerned.

"A lot. I probably shouldn't have gotten so angry and thrown Kiele against that wall." She tried to lighten the situation by laughing but I wasn't in the mood. This was serious.

"No, you shouldn't have," I said, my voice taking on a hard edge. I started to say something else but stopped. "I think I need to take you to the hospital." I then proceeded to pick her up and carry her out of the studio without turning off any of the lights or sound equipment.

"Baralai, I'm fine," she insisted, feebly attempting to struggle her way out of my arms.

"I hope you are," I replied as I sat her down in the passenger seat. "Because I'm going to be very angry if you've messed anything up." I heard her chuckle as I walked around car to the driver's side. "I'm serious," I remarked as I buckled my seat belt.

She smirked and rolled her eyes. I figured that was her way of saying 'whatever'. "I'm assuming we're coming back once we're done at the hospital?"

I glanced sideways at her as we pulled out of the storage facility, the corner of my mouth pulling up. "What makes you think that?"

"Well, you would have let me turn everything off, first of all, and since you didn't let me turn everything off you have plans of coming back," she stated. I thought I could detect a small amount of haughtiness in her voice but she was right. If her back was alright I did, in fact, want to come back.

"You caught me." I took a second to turn my head towards her and flash her a full smile while we were stopped at a red light. "But only if you didn't mess your back up too much," I stressed, making the smile fall off my face so I could send her a pointed glare.

She laughed at me then, probably thinking my seriousness was funny in some sick, twisted way. "Yes, Sir," she said, saluting me.

Considering how the day had started out, I was glad to have her laughing and joking with me right now. In a way, I was thankful that Kiele had shown up. Now Paine's trust in me was stronger because of it.

* * *

**(Paine)**

"I'm glad that's over," I said as Baralai helped me back into his car. We had only spent a little over an hour in the hospital and even that was too long. I had experienced my fill of that place and it was going to be a long time before I set foot in there again.

So, much to Baralai's relief, my back was fine. I had just strained the muscles surrounding the part of my spinal column that was healing. It was nothing major but even then I couldn't escape a harsh lecture from Dr. Allbrook. I had to tell him a huge fabricated lie about what I was doing to escape an even bigger tongue lashing. He gave me a small compression brace to wear underneath the one I already had for a couple of weeks. I wasn't happy about that but it was my fault that I got so angry. _You reap what you sow,_ my mother used to say.

I could tell that Baralai was relieved by the way he sighed and sank into the driver's seat of his car. "Do you know you scared the shit out of me this afternoon?" He remarked, fixing me with a serious stare.

I frowned, surprised that he had said something like that. "I had your ex-girlfriend pinned up against the wall and you were more worried about me?" I didn't really know if I should be flattered or not. With Baralai I had no idea what to expect.

He leaned closer to me, that same serious expression on his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't care about Kiele anymore? I'm not sure what last night meant to you but it sure meant a whole hell of a lot to me. I know somewhere deep down inside you that you trust me. You just have to admit it to yourself."

I looked away from him, unable to handle the conviction in his eyes. I suddenly found it difficult to breathe correctly. "If I didn't trust you I wouldn't have gone into your room." I met his gaze again because I couldn't keep my eyes away from him.

Once again I saw relief flood his countenance and wondered only briefly why he would be relieved before I realized that he genuinely want to earn my trust. I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled sharply out of my nostrils, stopping that train of thinking immediately. _Every guy acts genuine at first,_ my mind reminded me. Then, before I knew what I was doing, my mouth had gone on auto-pilot. "To be honest, Baralai, learning to trust someone isn't my problem. It's the fear of being betrayed later on that's stopping me."

He nodded as he started the car and shifted into gear. "That's understandable. A lot of people worry about that. Some more than others," he added as we pulled out of the parking lot. "Back to the studio then?"

"Might as well," I answered, watching the scenery I had seen thousands of times pass by. "It's not like we have anything better to do."

He chuckled and looked over at me briefly. "Oh, I'm sure we could think of something. We're resourceful."

The smile that stretched across my face immediately fell off when I remembered a phone call I got a couple days ago. "Actually I know what you can do."

"And what would that be?" He asked, not noticing my sour expression.

"Help me with the mountain of work I'll be bringing home with me tomorrow," I replied, sinking into the passenger seat as that dreaded phone conversation from the school replayed in my head. I was going to be able to graduate as soon as I made up all the work that I had missed. I wasn't worried though because it was still early in the year. I had plenty of time.

"I'll do what I can." He paused as he stuck his arm out and punched in the gate code. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Gippal recruited me for the Blitzball team."

My eyebrows shot up into my hairline. "You told him you played in Bevelle, didn't you?" I asked with a smile on my face.

He nodded. "Yeah, I did. I didn't realize what I had done until after the fact either. I guess it's alright though. I'll stay in shape." He turned the car off and hopped out, running over to my side.

Something occurred to me as he opened my door. "So am I going to be watching you practice every day then?" I asked as he pulled me out of the car.

He gasped and froze, his arms going rigid around me. "Will you get angry if I tell you that I hadn't planned that far ahead?"

"No," I said as I preceded him into the studio, the familiar hum of the sound equipment greeting us. "Hanging out at your practice will give me a chance to watch you and get a little homework done."

"Okay, good. I'm sorry though if I made you feel left out. Sometimes I don't think things through like I should."

My jaw dropped as I pulled open the drawer that his completed sheet music was in. I looked over at him as he came to stand next to me with disbelief written all over my face. "Are you for real right now?" I asked, trying to figure out if I was dreaming.

His brow twitched as he gave me a funny look. "What do you mean?"

"Nice guys like you just don't exist. No one in my life, besides my parents, has ever been so mindful of me. It's hard for me to believe that you're real right now. I grew up hearing about fairy tales but I know better than anyone that things like that just don't exist."

His dark eyebrows scrunched together and he breathed in like he was going to say something but paused. He gently turned me towards him and pulled me against his body, gingerly touching my cheek with his hand like I was made out of porcelain. "The last thing I want to do is mess this up. It tore me up inside when you walked away from me. I literally thought I was going to be sick when you told me to leave. I don't want to feel like that ever again."

I had to force myself to keep my gaze locked with his. I could feel the heat rising up my face from his confession. The meaning behind his words had definitely not been lost on me. "Then that makes two of us," I said, managing to maintain control of my voice long enough to get that short sentence out.

I was so preoccupied with making sure I didn't look away from him that I didn't even notice it when he slid his hand around behind my neck. When he started slowly pulling me towards him, resisting his advances didn't even cross my mind. I only kept my eyes locked onto his as our faces got closer and closer together. My eyelids slid shut of their own accord as he gently brushed his lips against mine. Kissing him was quickly starting to become second nature to me and I liked it. I felt light headed when we parted for air then a strange awkward feeling passed over me for some unknown reason and I scrambled for something to change the subject. His sheet music was still in my hand so I quickly lifted it up so he could see it.

"You wanted to work on this right?"

He looked confused for a moment before he recognized what I was holding. "Um, yeah, we can do that. How far have you gotten?"

"Not very. I still need to record all the music and put it together. And I need to hear you sing. If your voice sucks I'm going to be very angry." As soon as I finished speaking an idea slapped me in the face and I had no choice but to do its bidding. I turned the computer on then opened a file that I had carefully hidden away so no one but me knew where it was. Only two things were in it: a song and a document containing the lyrics. I quickly printed the lyrics out and took a few seconds to stare at the song's icon. Cainen had written this certain song for me and even though I hadn't listened to it in forever I still knew every word. I retrieved the pages from the printer and handed them to Baralai. "Alright, here's what we're going to do. Listen to this song until you think you've got it memorized then come get me."

"Okay," he replied, sitting down in front of the computer and opening the song.

I quickly made myself scarce before Baralai started asking the slew of question that I knew would be coming later. I got to work doing all my sound checks and reminding myself of the sheet music I hadn't laid my eyes on in over a month. I worked on the base and lead guitar first before reluctantly moving to the drums. With the way my back was I didn't know if I would be able to play them. I picked up the drumsticks with shaking hands, not sure if I should even try it. I was reminded of the second brace I was wearing and tightened my grip on the sticks to prevent my hands from shaking, deciding to go for it. _There's nothing wrong with trying. I won't know until I try._

I shouldn't have tried.

I had only gotten through a few of the drum notes before I had to make a long reach with my right arm, causing my back to protest loudly. I gasped and bared my teeth, dropping the drumsticks like they had suddenly become searing hot. I sucked my arms in as close to my body as I could possibly get them then sat there panting and gasping as I waited for the pain to subside. _Okay, that was a bad idea,_ I thought as my vision blurred. I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing in slowly through my nose and out through my mouth. I suddenly wished that I had my pain pills with me.

"Paine, are you alright?"

The sudden appearance of Baralai's voice made me jump, jarring my still throbbing back and I cried out. He rushed to my side and kneeled down next to me, gently placing his hand on the base of my back. "I'm okay," I responded through clenched teeth. "I tried playing the drums."

"Well I could have told you that was a bad idea," he said, softly running his hand up and down my back.

"I wish you would have. That hurt."

"So I've got that song memorized. That Cainen guy wrote it, didn't he?" He asked as he stood up.

I cringed at his question, knowing from the get go that he was bound to ask that. "How did you figure it out?" I asked, too embarrassed to look up at him.

"I recognized his voice." He paused and for a moment I was tempted to look up at him but I fought it off. "Do you have feelings for him?"

I was so stunned by what he had said that I nearly toppled off my stool. I was so concerned thinking about whether or not I was going to be able to trust him that I didn't even consider the fact that he might not trust me. I whipped my head up and met his eyes, not surprised when I saw his arms crossed over his chest and his expression guarded. "I don't think that's a very fair question," I answered, immediately going on the defensive.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his dark eyes narrowing.

"Would I be so hesitant to trust you if I was hiding something myself?" I was going to say more. I had a whole tirade to hit him with actually but I held my tongue. I could see this conversation being blown out of proportion and I didn't want that.

He stared at me for a very long thirty seconds – believe me, I counted – before taking in a huge lungful of air like he had been holding his breath. He exhaled slowly as he laced his fingers behind his head. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He kneeled down next to me again and looked sincerely into my eyes. "Forgive me?"

I smirked then leaned forward to kiss him. He had been betrayed before as well so I couldn't condemn him for asking something like that. I could very well call myself a hypocrite if I even considered something like that. "Yes. I want to hear you sing now."

I rose from behind the drum set and started into the recording room but he stopped me before I could get very far. "So was that our first argument?" He asked, a familiar glimmer in his eyes.

The corners of my eyes twitched as I picked up on exactly what he was insinuating. He wanted confirmation on whether or not we were a couple now. My old fight or flight instincts were screaming at me to run away but I didn't want to listen to them anymore. It was about time that I started acting like a real high school student. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

We sealed the deal with a kiss. _Yuna and Rikku are going to freak out when I tell them…_


	16. Whispers In the Dark

**Author's Note:**

First of all, thank you to everyone that reviewed! I greatly appreciate every one I get and will never be able to thank all of you enough. Your words really do inspire me so thank you.

And I hope the delay didn't come as a big surprise to any of you since I gave you fair warning last chapter. I've been stretched a little thin lately. I've been working on 3 fics over the past month, something I do not advise, and I feel a bit drained. I'll be going on vacation the last week of March so I'm going to try really hard to get the next chapter up before I leave. If I don't then it'll be up after I get back. I'd like to thank all of you for being so patient with me. I feel privileged to have such awesome readers and I hope all of you know how grateful I am for you.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! There's Painalai goodness within!

* * *

**Chapter XVI:**

**Whispers In the Dark**

* * *

**(Paine)**

I was a nervous wreck as I sat down behind the immense control board and turned on the monitors that would be measuring his voice while he sang. I was praying to whatever deity that would listen, hoping Baralai actually had a half decent voice. I was serious when I said that I was going to be angry if his voice was anything but amazing. I should have had him sing for me from the very start. That way I wouldn't be sitting here now chewing my fingernails down to the quick, praying that all the effort I had put into writing that sheet music wasn't all for nothing.

I took a deep breath and slowly counted to ten in my head, calming myself down enough to keep the traitorous waver out of my voice. "Alright, Baralai," I started, depressing a button on the control panel that made it possible for him to hear me through the headphones. "Let me know whenever you're ready and I'll get you started."

"I'm ready. Go ahead," he replied, stepping closer to the microphone and adjusting the headphones.

"Okay, here we go," I mumbled to myself. My finger hovered over the play button as I held my other hand in the air, counting down from three. Just before I pressed the play button I noticed the little red record button right next to it, deciding at the last possible nanosecond to record it as I started the song.

I plastered myself to the back of the chair and fisted a hand in front of my mouth, holding my breath as Baralai began to sing. It only took me about ten seconds to realize that he had an _absolutely amazing_ voice. I was even willing to go as far as saying that his voice was better than Cainen's. I was glad that he was paying more attention to the song lyrics than to me because I could only imagine what my face looked like. I knew that my jaw had dropped open but nothing but what was going on in the other room mattered much anymore.

I thanked Shiva that I had followed through with the split second decision to record it.

Halfway through the song he locked eyes with me and I found myself frozen to the spot, unable to move even if I wanted to. It was like he had paralyzed me using only his captivating gaze. A please smile pulled the corners of my mouth up as I reclined back in my chair, an odd feeling of serenity passing over me. I hadn't felt like that since before my parents had died. The fact that I was falling so fast for this guy that had the voice of an angel should have been setting off a million different warning bells in my head, but they were silent and I had to admit that it was refreshing.

Towards the end of the song he really started getting into it and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I felt ridiculous for doubting him. I had a feeling that he had the makings of a performer somewhere inside him. I stealthily reached inside one of the drawers as he sang the last few measures and grabbed an empty disk, quickly loading it into the computer. Yuna and Rikku _had_ to hear this. _Maybe his parents should too,_ I thought as I absentmindedly chewed on my thumb nail. If Baralai was actually serious about singing then his parents needed to know how talented he was.

"So, uh, what do you think?" He asked as he sat down next to me.

A sly grin started to pull my mouth up but I fought it off as a rather evil thought popped into my head. "Well, about that…This isn't good, Baralai." I paused and met his eyes to gage his reaction but only his brow was furrowed slightly so I couldn't glean what he was thinking just from that. If he was trying to hide his emotions from me he was doing a damn good job. "I don't even know if we can harmonize and I'm already hearing music in my head."

His forehead crinkled even more and I could tell that he had no idea what I had just said. "So is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

I laughed. The phrase 'ignorance is bliss' came to mind. "It depends. If you had asked me that a month ago I would have said it was a bad thing."

"What about now?"

I smirked sardonically. "I still think it's bad but I'm pretty sure I can live with it now."

"What kind of music are you hearing?" He asked as he reclined into his chair and rested his hands behind his head.

I bit down on my tongue as I studied the computer screen. "That's not good either. I'll leave it at that for now." A low beep sounded from the computer as it signaled that it was done burning the song onto the disk. I grinned in triumph as it spat the CD out of the disk drive.

"What's that?" He asked. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he knew exactly what it was.

"This," I began, waving it in front of his face. "is something your parents have to hear."

His eyes widened and the color washed out of his dark cheeks until they were no more than a sickly tan. "Do we have to?" He asked, his shoulder slumping and sounding very much like a small child that's been given a chore he doesn't want to do.

"Baralai, do your parents even know that you can sing?" I asked as I rooted around for a case to put the CD in.

"No, you're the only one that's ever heard me sing, besides my mirror that is. Gippal hasn't even gotten that privilege and he's known me the longest. My parents have no idea that I'm interested in anything other than taking over my father's business."

"Wow, don't I feel special," I remarked as I carefully rose out of my chair and began shutting everything off. "Let's go."

"Go where?"

"To your house. Your parents need to hear this," I replied, indicating the CD I was holding.

He was silent so I paused in my equipment shut off ritual and turned to look at him. He was staring down at the floor like he was trying to burn a hole into it. Even though he wasn't looking at me I could see fear in his eyes. "I don't know if we should do that."

"You told me yourself that you weren't even sure if you want to follow in your father's footsteps. Your voice is amazing, Baralai, and I'll even go as far as saying that you're better than Cainen. That's a big leap for me because I think his voice is pretty good too. Anyways, I'm only saying that you should let them know." I was hoping he would decide to take my advice. What did he have to lose really?

He covered his face with his hands and sighed heavily. I didn't really understand why he was being so reluctant. I would think that his parents would be happy to discover that their son had a talent they never even knew about. _That's where him and I are so different, I guess,_ I thought as I watched him. _My parents always wanted to know about what I was interesting in. Whether or not I told them about it was a different story._

"Alright, let's go," he blurted suddenly, making a beeline for the door. "Before I change my mind."

I quickly finished shutting everything off then followed him out as fast as I dared. I was hoping that the few extra seconds it took me to turn the equipment off hadn't caused Baralai to chicken out. I shut the lights off and locked the door behind me then carefully slid into the passenger seat beside him. He already had the car in gear and had started driving away before I even had a chance to buckle my seatbelt.

The tension in the air on the way to his house was so palpable it felt like I was being suffocated. Whenever he wasn't using his right hand to shift he was chewing on his nails nervously. I tried not looking at him but even then I could practically feel the waves of anxiety pouring off of him. When he started bouncing his left leg I couldn't stay silent anymore.

"Baralai, if you don't calm down I'm going to hit you."

His leg stopped immediately, thank Shiva. "Sorry," he said, gripping the gearshift to prevent himself from biting his nails anymore. "I was nervous enough singing in front of you."

"Why?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "It just makes me feel self-conscious. I've never sang in front of anyone before. Like I said before, I've sang in front of my mirror but that's while I was home alone." He paused and took a deep breath, his fingers twitching from their place on the gearshift. "I just can't help but think that this is going to end very badly."

"What you need to do then is stop thinking," I said simply, beginning to grow irritated with him. I was beginning to think that all of this had been a huge mistake. "If you're so reluctant about this then we might as well go back to my house."

I had opened the door of opportunity so wide for him that I was sure he would waste no time in dashing through it. I was surprised when he made no move to turn back the way we had come. "No, you're right. I have to do this," he said, keeping his eyes glued to the road.

"Okay," I muttered, fixing my gaze on a spot of dried water on his windshield.

The rest of the drive to his house passed in silence and it seemed like it took him hours to get out of his car once we got there. He was walking so slow to his front door that I, the injured one, even beat him there. Once again, the thought that recording that song and persuading him to show it to his parents was a mistake. He was acting like this was killing him. I leveled him with a displeased glare when he finally me joined me by the door. He didn't say anything and avoided looked at me as he walked inside. I followed him in, glaring daggers at the back of his head as he led me into the living room.

"I'll be right back," he said over his shoulder as he ascended the stairs.

I sat down on the couch, my expression still stiff, and took a moment to look at the décor. It was slightly different than what I remembered from the last time I was here and I figured that Baralai's mother enjoyed changing things around every now and then. She definitely had a unique sense of style. I took note of the fact that she decorated her bed and breakfast and her home similarly, recognizing a pair of sconces and a few picture frames. I spotted a shelf with a small group of pictures that I hadn't seen before in the entertainment hutch that was against the far wall.

Unable to contain my curiosity I strode across the living room, ignoring the fact that I discovered myself holding my breath. Of course I was hoping to see a few pictures of Baralai; I was willing to admit that much to myself. Believe it or not I still didn't know very much about him even though he had been living with me for over two weeks. He didn't really offer very much personal information – he was like me in that aspect – and I never asked. I knew what it felt like to have certain things I didn't want to talk about so I gave him his privacy. Spending time with him was much more peaceful that spending time with Yuna and Rikku. They may have been my best friends but they sure did love to push the limits of my patience.

The first picture I happened to look at was of a younger Baralai sitting on a beach covered in sand up to his waist. He was smiling up at the camera wearing the same expression that I was quickly starting to fall in love with. I cocked my head to the side to get a better look at his younger self and felt the corners of my mouth curling upwards. I slowly moved my eyes over all the other pictures, noticing that Baralai was the main focal point of each of them. I could tell that he was the center of his parent's universes. I frowned as my eyes found a family picture that looked fairly recent, trying to make sense of his attitude towards them. He had it all but I remembered when I first met his parents him talking them like they were a hindrance. I hadn't heard him speak ill of them since he had come to live with me and if I had I would have spoken to him about it earlier. In fact, he seemed a lot less stressed and that was something I could relate with. My relationship with my parents hadn't been perfect but I would do anything to get them back.

I shook those morbid thoughts from my mind and continued to examine the shelf, spying a large leather bound book pushed all the way into the corner. My fingers twitched as I started to reach for it but stopped when I heard soft foot falls approaching me from behind. I snapped my head around, thinking it was Baralai, but sighed in relief when I saw it was only his mother, Carmen.

"He takes good pictures, doesn't he?" She said, coming to stand by me.

I smiled and looked back toward the picture of him in the Blitzball uniform he wore when he played for his high school in Bevelle. His hair was wet and small beads of water were collected all over his arms and shoulders, that timeless smile ever present. "Yeah, he does," I replied, chewing on my bottom lip. "I feel really lucky, you know. Sometimes I think I'm dreaming. He chose me out of all the other girls. It feels kind of surreal."

Carmen looped her arm through mine, looking at the pictures with an adoring mother's gaze. "No, he's the lucky one, Aria," she said, turning her beautiful eyes to me.

Even before Baralai and I had become official she started treating me like I was already a part of the family. She even insisted on calling me by my real name, which was something that I actually didn't mind. To be honest, I probably wouldn't care if Baralai called me Aria as well. The thought that I was moving too fast with him crossed my mind but I knew that wasn't true. The fact that I actually wanted him to call me by my real name was proof that I really did trust him. For me, that was a huge leap on the progress ladder.

"Baralai told me about what happened with Kiele earlier," she murmured just loud enough for me to hear. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I replied, wrapping my hand around her reassuringly. "I the only one to blame is her."

Carmen hummed and looked over her shoulder, towards the second story. "That girl was the reason behind all the mistakes that Baralai made while we were in Bevelle. I think he realizes that now." She paused and met my eyes again. "Since the both of you have been spending time together he's more open with us now. And I have you to thank you for that."

I averted my eyes away from her and stared down at the floor, the heat rising steadily up my neck. Carmen thought very highly of me and she always managed to embarrass me at least once every time I saw her. "You know I don't like it when you put me on the spot like that," I replied, wishing for once that my hair was longer so I could hide my face behind it.

She chuckled and my heart clenched painfully when the sound vaguely reminded me of my own mother. "Yes, I'm sorry, I do know. I just can't help myself though." I locked eyes with her and sent her a half-hearted glare. Her smile only widened. "Okay, okay. I won't say anything." She leaned forward and grabbed the thick leather volume off the shelf. "Come over and sit with me. Baralai is talking with his father so we have a little time."

I gladly followed her back to the couch, a sense of excitement enveloping me at learning more about the boy I now called my boyfriend. Even thinking that word felt strange and I knew it would feel like that for a long time. _Saying it out loud is going to be even worse,_ I thought with a small sinking feeling. _I don't even want to think about having to tell Yuna and Rikku tomorrow. Knowing my luck, they won't even believe me. And if they do the whole school will know before the day is over._ I suddenly didn't want to go to school in the morning.

Carmen's voice caught my attention then and I quickly met her gaze, hoping she hadn't noticed my lack of focus. "He's probably going to be so angry with me for showing you this," she told me as she wrapped her fingers lightly around the corner of the cover.

One corner of my mouth pulled up into a sly grin. "If he is then I'll make it up to him later."

Without wasting another second she pulled back the cover of the album and I found myself scooting closer to her to get a better look. His full name, Baralai Andrew DeSilva, and his birth date were at the top of the page. My eyebrows jumped up a small amount when I noticed that his birthday was only a couple months away and made a mental note of that date. Below that was a half a dozen sonogram pictures and I couldn't stop my jaw from falling open. Now I understood why he might get angry with his mom for letting me look at this. To a teenage guy pictures like this could be considered heavily embarrassing and the fact that she had put them in an album anyone visiting them could look at was a brave move.

"Wow, that's amazing," I said, leaning forward to get a closer look at the dark, grainy pictures. "Has he seen these?"

She nodded. "He has. He used to help me put it together. It's been a few years since he's looked at it."

She turned the page and I saw his name and birth date on the top of the page once again along with pictures of him after he had been born while they were still in the hospital. His crib card was in the middle of the page and I was mildly surprised when I saw that he had only been a little over six pounds when he was born. "He was really little," I remarked, looking at Carmen out of the corner of my eye.

"He came a couple weeks early actually. He probably would have been over seven pounds if he came when he was supposed to," she said, smiling down at his day old picture.

We spent the next ten minutes going through the picture album uninterrupted. Just when I was beginning to wonder what was taking Baralai and his father so long I heard their voices wafting down from upstairs. I looked up and spotted Baralai coming down the stairs in front of his father, a peaceful expression on his face. I knew then that their conversation had gone well. He met my eyes and, after looking at his baby pictures for the last fifteen minutes, seeing his matured face was a welcome relief.

He sat down next to me and casually laid his arm across my shoulders, which was something he had never done before. I jumped involuntarily when he put his mouth next to my ear, causing goose bumps to pop up all over the back of my neck and arms. "I talk with my dad about a lot. I'll tell you about it on our way home."

I nodded, attempting to hide the shivers shooting down my spine as his warm breath hit my ear but not doing a very good job of it. "Do you have a CD player?" I asked Carmen as I turned my head to look at her.

"We do," she answered, rising from the couch and going over to the entertainment hutch. She opened up a set of wooden doors on the left side, revealing a CD player that just about made me start drooling. "Did you bring some of your music for us to listen to?"

I chewed on my tongue as I went to join her, wondering if I should tell her or left her figure it out. I looked over at Baralai and he nodded his head, giving me permission. "No, not mine. Baralai's," I replied, starting up the player and popping the CD into the tray.

The silence that followed made me cringe. I was almost scared to look in Carmen and Darren's direction, unsure of how they would take it. Suddenly I was having doubts about showing them this song. Now that we were here getting ready to present it to them I was worried that they would feel like they didn't even know him anymore. I cautiously looked in his father's direction, thinking that he would be the hardest one to win over, but was shocked when I saw him smiling at his son like he was almost proud. Carmen was the only one that looked confused.

"What does she mean, sweetie?" She asked, not noticing her husband's expression as she looked at her son. Her tone didn't sound angry, only curious, which was a good sign.

"Just come sit down, Mom," he said, placing his hand on the couch beside him. "You'll find out in a second." He briefly looked at his father, the ghost of a smile appearing on his face for only a moment before it was gone.

I knew then that he had told his father about what they were about to hear and I was immensely proud of him. _That's what took them so long,_ I thought as I fought off a smile. "A friend of mind wrote this song," I explained as I turned around to play with the volume controls. "I had a feeling his voice would make a good match for this particular song." I gently laid my finger on the play button and took a deep, calming breath before pressing it. I stepped back to observe Carmen and Darren's reactions as Baralai's voice filled the room.

To be honest, I had never been so nervous in my life.

By the end of the song both of Baralai's parents were smiling broadly, looking at their son with adoration. Their positive expressions were an immense relief. I was so nervous that I had crossed my arms over my chest half way through the song to hide the fact that my hands were shaking uncontrollably. I took a few seconds to compose myself while I procured the CD from the player and turned it off. As I was closing the small set of doors I was almost dreading turning back around, thinking his parents had changed their attitudes in the few short seconds that I had my back turned.

I knew right then and there that if they ridiculed him about this it would hurt me just as much as it would hurt him. He had taken a huge risk letting his parents listen to that song and I hoped they would notice how talented he was. Voices like his certainly didn't come around every day and I wanted them to know how special he was. I definitely knew it.

Luckily, Carmen chose that moment to ease my frazzled nerves. "That was really you?" She asked Baralai, her eyes wide.

"Yeah," he responded, his mouth pulling up into a tight smile. It was refreshing to know I hadn't been the only one that was nervous. "What did you think?"

"Oh, sweetheart, I thought it was beautiful!" His mother exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug. "Why didn't you tell us you could sing?"

He looked towards his father again for a split second. "I didn't think you would approve. I thought since dad wants me to take over the business when he retires if I wanted to do something else it would automatically be out of the question."

Carmen was about to answer him when Darren cut in, rising from his chair and going to sit on Baralai's other side. He laid his hand on his son's shoulder and squeezed it tightly. "You already know what I think. If you don't mind I'd like to talk to your mother about this. We'll be in my office."

Carmen kissed Baralai on the head then came over to me and embraced me tightly. "I've got something else to thank you for now," she whispered. I hugged her back but chose to stay silent. She gracefully followed her husband up the stairs and disappeared.

After Baralai and I were left alone in the living room a deafening silence settled over us. I knew that Carmen approved but Darren's cryptic answer was harder to decipher. It could be taken both ways and I found myself becoming nervous all over again. His facial expressions had been far from disapproving but I still had no idea what to think. I went to go sit next to Baralai but he quickly pulled me into his lap, pressing my body as close to his as he could without hurting me. I winced as my back muscles twitched in discomfort at my awkward position but I ignored it and blocked it out. He wouldn't have pulled me into his lap if he hadn't wanted me near him so I wasn't about to ruin it. I sighed into his hair as he tucked his head into the hollow of my throat and wrapped his arms securely around my waist. In turn, I placed my arms around his neck and we sat there many moments, taking comfort in each other's presence.

It was nearly five minutes later when I broke out peaceful silence. "That went well I take it?" I asked, keeping my voice low.

He nodded. "Yes, very well. Thank you for making me show that to them."

I smiled as I laid my cheek down on the top of his head. "You're welcome."

"There's a few things I need to get from my room before we leave," he said, helping me stand. For a second I thought he was going to ask me to wait in the living room for him but when he laced his fingers through mine and leading me towards the stairs my smile widened. "Do you need me to carry you up the stairs?" He asked me over his shoulder as he paused at the base of the staircase.

I stared up at it with trepidation, wondering how my back would handle it. This would be the first time climbing up a flight of stairs since my accident and I wasn't sure what would happen if I tried. _I won't know unless I try,_ I thought, taking a deep breath. "No, I should be okay," I replied, tentatively placing my foot on the bottom step.

I held onto the railing as well as clutching tightly to Baralai's hand as I carefully began traveling upwards. He watched me like a hawk, ready to help me if any sign of trouble arose. Aside from the familiar painful twitching of the muscles that I had become used to, traversing the stairs wasn't all that difficult. Even then I was glad once I finally got to the top.

"I'm glad you survived," he remarked as he led me down the hallway. "It would have been terrible if you fell." I could tell he was being sarcastic so I decided to play along.

"Then it probably would have been just as horrible if I took you with me."

He laughed and paused with his hand resting on the door handle of his room. A sultry smile adorned his face and his eyes seemed to smolder like a pair of dying embers as he slowly snaked his arm around my waist, pressing his body flush against mine. He leaned his head towards mine until our lips were almost touching. "But then if you would have landed on top of me I wouldn't have objected."

His proximity was aggravatingly intoxicating and I was powerless to resist the overpowering impulse to kiss him. An electric shock seared through my body when our lips touched, making me breathe in sharply. The fact that I was kissing him in his parent's house in the middle of the hall wasn't lost on me and I knew that we should probably go into his room. I was just about to reluctantly break off our lip lock when he started to slip his warm hands underneath my shirt. Of course he didn't get very far once he reached the bottom of my back brace.

He pulled away from me with an embarrassed smile on his face and I couldn't help but laugh when he tried fixing my shirt. "Man, don't I feel dumb," he mumbled through his teeth as we went into his room.

"Just think of it as a sign," I replied, going over to his huge bed and sitting down on it. "I don't think your parents would appreciate it if you started undressing me in the hall."

He smirked as he walked over to his closet, pulling his shirt off as he went. My heart started pounding as I stared at the chiseled muscles of his back and shoulders. A chill ran through me when the memory of the previous night, including me running my hands over every inch of his body, replayed in my mind. I managed to regain my composure when he turned around with another shirt in his hands but I must not have done a very good job because he shot me a peculiar look.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, coming to sit next to me with his shirt still off.

I chewed on my bottom lip as my eyes traveled from his face to his chest and my mind instantly went blank. It took me a few seconds to unscramble my muddled thoughts but when I met his eyes again I blurted out the only thing that was on my mind. "You're sort of beautiful." The best thing about those words is that I didn't regret saying them at all. I truly meant them.

A soft smile turned up the corners of his mouth and he leaned towards me. "Well I think you're more than beautiful," he replied, drawing small circles on my cheek with his thumb. "You're absolutely breathtaking. I've thought that ever since I met you."

I smiled at him and felt my face grow hot from his compliments. I knew he truly meant those words as well. I could see the truth in his eyes and I could feel it deep down in my soul. I knew that I didn't have to be afraid of him anymore. I didn't have to worry about being betrayed. I truly trusted him and, to me, that meant more than love ever could. "If you're trying to score points it's definitely working," I whispered, unable to stop my voice from quivering.

"That's a possibility," he answered, scooting closer to me and pushing me down on the soft mattress. He hovered over me, gazing down at me with a half smile on his face. "But something tells me that I won't have to work very hard to accomplish that."

I cocked an eyebrow, staring up at him with the best cynical expression that I could muster. "Oh? And what makes you say that?"

His face crept towards mine tantalizingly slow and I felt my eyelids slide shut in anticipation of feeling his lips on mine. I sucked in a quick gasp of air when I felt his breath waft across my cheek. The seconds ticked by agonizingly slow and I didn't even know that I had been had until I opened my eyes. The victorious grin on his face made my blush come back full force.

"That's why," he said, leaning back down and finally pressing his mouth against mine. I sighed into his mouth as he ran his tongue across my teeth, glad that he was done teasing me for now.

When we separated for air I grinned up at him and ruffled his hair. "Don't push your luck."

He chuckled as he lifted his hand and twirled the platinum strands of my hair around his fingers. He didn't say anything in response to my remark, choosing instead to star at me with a faraway look in his chocolate colored eyes. I frowned at him, wondering why he would be looking at me like that. He looked conflicted but I had no idea why he would feel that way.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a feeling of foreboding settling over me. I had no idea why but something told me I wasn't going to like what he had to say.

He shook his head and pursed his lips, uncertainty suddenly springing up in his gaze as well. "I just don't want to mess this up," he mumbled, his voice barely audible.

My frown deepened, that bad feeling festering. "What do you mean?"

He looked away from me and chewed on the inside of his cheek for a few moments, more than likely trying to put his jumbled thoughts into words. When he met my eyes again I swore he looked like he was in pain. "There's something I want to tell you but I don't want to push you away. This…" He said, waving his hand in between us, more than likely meaning our current status as a couple. "Our relationship is way too important to me. You are way too important."

His confession left me speechless. I was shocked that he had said something like that, but just as glad that he had. I cupped my left hand around his cheek to offer him some reassurance. I had an idea about what he wanted to tell me and merely thinking about hearing those words come out of his mouth wasn't so bad as I thought it would be. I knew that he needed to get it off his chest.

"I want to hear it," I whispered back, trying to mask my own uncertainty and hoping that he wouldn't pick up on it.

He nodded and his throat convulsed as he swallowed. His hand was still in my hair but I could feel his fingers shaking. He took a deep breath, his chest shuddering as he exhaled, before speaking. "I know you're probably going to think that I'm rushing into things but I want you to hear me out. Please?"

I nodded, but remained silent.

"Alright, um… I'm going out on a limb here. I know we haven't known each other for very long but I think…I might love you. You don't have to tell me how irrational I'm being, I know that already. I just wanted to let you know."

The apprehension in his eyes was understandable and the fact that he was so honest with me earned him a ton of brownie points. I had no idea what to say so I coaxed him towards me and just kissed him. He didn't need words right now. All he needed was action and a little reassurance that his words weren't going to send me running for the hills.

He pulled away from me a few seconds later, his eyes wide with surprise. "What did that mean?"

"That I understand what you're trying to say. But I can't give you the answer you want to hear. Not yet anyways. Let's just take this one day at a time."

He exhaled like he had been holding his breath and his shoulder relaxed. He laid his head down on the bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me like I was the tether that was keeping me connected to the ground. "That's good enough for me."


	17. The Ballad of Mona Lisa

**Author's Note:**

I would first like to apologize for how long it's taken me to get this chapter up. Even though I got a considerable amount written on the drive to and from California once I got back to good ol' Arizona I got extremely busy. Plus this chapter kind of ran away with me. Right when I thought I was going to be able to end it, it decided to carry me along for another two or three pages. Anyways I think that this story only has one chapter left and then it will finally be over! YAY! I've been working on it for over a year so I can't believe I'm finally to the point where I'm going to wrap it up.

So back on track, thank you to everyone that reviewed last chapter. I'm am so so grateful to anyone and everyone that leaves me feedback. I feel priviledged to have so many loyal readers. As always, please let me know how you liked this chapter once you're done reading.

* * *

**Chapter XVII:**

**The Ballad of Mona Lisa**

* * *

**(Baralai)**

"Well that went well," Paine said as I was backing out of my driveway.

"It did," I answered curtly, tightening my hand around the gear shift as I maneuvered it into drive. I almost couldn't believe how well it had gone actually.

"So if you don't mind me asking, what did you and your father talk about all that time?" She asked, turning her head to look at me.

"I told him the truth. I said that I'm interested in becoming a singer. Of course the first the thing that came out of his mouth was if I still wanted to take over the law firm but he wasn't as close minded as I thought he was going to be. I explained to him that I'm not completely opposed to taking the business over but it's not something I want to do right after I graduate. If I can make it as a singer like you and your friends have I'd like to try it for a while until I get stuck behind a desk."

I saw her turn her head to look out the window out of the corner of my eye. "And I'm guessing by the look on your face as you were coming down the stairs, he's going to give you a little freedom?" I didn't have to see her face to know that she was smiling. I could hear it in her voice.

"Yes, but on one condition," I began, briefly looking over at her even though her gaze was still trained out the window. I took a deep breath "I still have to go through a year of mandatory training after graduation."

"Well that's not so bad," she replied. "He could have told you otherwise so I think you should be thankful he's being so generous."

"Oh, I am, there's no doubt about that. I think I thanked him about half a dozen times. I'll have to move back to Bevelle though," I said looking over at her while we were stuck at a red light. I dreaded telling her that because I wasn't sure how she would handle it. Me living in Bevelle for a year was probably going to put a strain on our relationship and I didn't want to end up losing her. I'd tell my father to shove it if something like that as going to happen.

When her silence drew on for longer than I thought it would I started to get nervous. So when I heard her inhale to finally answer I felt the beat of my heart accelerate. "Hopefully I'll be able to ride a motorcycle by then and Bevelle is only three hours away. You'll get weekends off, right?"

I was so relieved by her answer that I almost forgot to reply to her question. "Yeah, I should."

"Then I'll come spend the weekends with you. I'll probably be performing again so I'll have to stay in Luca during the week."

I bit down on my tongue, suddenly becoming a little uncomfortable. I had just been about to ask her if she wanted to move to Bevelle with me. I was actually glad she had spoken because she stopped me from having a very unwelcome case of diarrhea of the mouth. The fact that we were living together right now didn't really mean anything. I was only there to help her while her back was healing. Once she was healed I was pretty sure she wouldn't want me there anymore. _But don't forget that won't be for another five or six months,_ my mind told me. _And don't forget that you're together now. She might not want to you to leave._

"I'd like to come down and watch you perform every once in a while," I said, my inner pep talk giving me some of my self confidence back.

"We can switch off then," she replied.

My eyebrows shot up and I was surprised that that idea hadn't even crossed my mind. "Yeah, we can do that. At least then you won't be the one doing all the driving."

"Exactly. I don't want to do all the work in this relationship," she said as we were pulling into her garage. She flashed one of her extremely rare smiles that even Shiva would be jealous of at me. For some reason I couldn't quite put words to how special her smile made me feel. As far as I knew she had never looked at anyone else that way before. At least that's what I was hoping because what I felt for her was a hundred times bigger than anything I had ever experienced in my life.

"Now that was below the belt," I laughed, knowing she was only joking around. "You haven't even given me a chance to prove I can be a good boyfriend."

"Oh, so it gets better then?" She retorted, trying to stifle her laughter.

"Oh yeah, much better. I'm not cut off from my parent's bank account anymore so I can spoil you whenever I want. And before you say that you don't want me to my parents already gave me permission to lavish you as often as I want, which is a pretty big step for them."

She rolled her eyes but one corner of her mouth was pulled up. "Oh joy, like I really need to be lavished upon."

I chuckled under my breath at her enthusiasm. "Don't act so excited. I might change my mind."

"Oh, perish the thought." She smiled at me and I felt my heart jump into my throat. I moved to get out of the car when I felt her hand wrap tightly around my wrist. "Speaking of your parents… I've been meaning to talk with you about this for a while." She met my eyes, asking for permission to continue.

I frowned and leaned closer to her, a little puzzled about where she was headed. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath and moved her hand from where it was sitting on my wrist so she could lace her fingers through mine. "When I first met you the fact that you weren't very happy with your parents was blatantly obvious. I would have had to be deaf and blind to not figure that one out in the first ten seconds. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I think your parents are great. I just don't want you to take them for granted."

The muscles in my face went slack when she was done speaking and I felt like hanging my head in shame. She was absolutely right. Here I was not appreciating the fact that I still had both my parents while she had lost hers. She had told me that she had gotten into an argument with her father before he had died and I knew for a fact that she wished she could have made up with him. If something like that had happened to my parents I would probably feel the same exact way. I squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "Thanks, really. I needed that."

"Anytime," she replied, leaning forward to kiss me. I hid the tremor that rocked my body as it traveled down my spine and had to stop myself from growling in disappointment when she pulled away. "Let's go inside now. You need to cook dinner."

I laughed as we walked into the house. "Just because I know how to cook doesn't mean I should." I quickly tossed the extra bag I had brought from my house and my keys into my room, stopping in the hallway when Paine paused in her doorway.

"Oh yes it does," she replied. "But I guess I could help you. Just let me take my pain pills first."

She disappeared into her room while I went into the kitchen to get everything started. I remember her saying something about wanting to cook the box of past she had in her pantry so I put a pot of water on to boil then retrieved the pasta. Two jars of alfredo sauce were sitting innocently near the back of the pantry so I grabbed those too. I was standing in front of the counter staring down at the box of pasta and alfredo sauce wondering what else I could put with it when Paine came back into the kitchen, catching my intense gaze at the items of food in front of me.

"Trying to cook the food with your eyes?" She joked, reaching into the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

I smirked and went to stand behind her, circling my arms around her waist. "Not quite. I'm trying to persuade it to cook itself." Right as she was closing the fridge I spied a package of boneless chicken breasts and quickly snatched it. She shot me a weird look as she glanced between my face and the package of chicken I was holding. "Chicken alfredo sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds fantastic actually," she said as she went to check if the water for the pasta was boiling then she reached towards a cupboard above the stove and pulled a plastic cutting board out. "I'll cut the chicken up."

Half an hour later we were sitting at her small dining room table enjoying the alfredo and making small talk. "I'm not really excited about going back to school tomorrow," she said after a few moments of silence.

I looked at her as I took a drink of water. "Why is that?"

She sighed and set her fork down on her plate, the metal utensil clinking softly against the porcelain. "Everyone's going to be drilling me with questions all day long. They all thought I was dead too after all. I'm probably going to feel like pulling my hair out by the end of the day."

"Well I won't be able help you there. I wish I could."

She smiled but kept her gaze on her plate, picking up her fork again and pushing a piece of chicken around. "I'm a big girl. Just because we're dating now doesn't mean you need to treat me like a damsel in distress." Her smile widened when she lifted her eyes to look at me.

"That is definitely not what I meant," I clarified after swallowing what I had in my mouth. "Do we even want to tell anybody about us yet?"

The corners of her eyes twitched as she considered my question and I felt my left leg start to bounce, a nervous habit that I had never been able to shake. I kind of wanted her to say that she did, in fact, want to broadcast our relationship to her friends. Something told me that she might not be ready to though. She was a celebrity after all so if she decided to keep what we had between us a secret for a while I knew that I was going to have to respect that. When her silence drew on I began to chew on the inside of my cheek, wishing she would say something to alleviate my anxiety. I knew I was getting nervous for no particular reason so the butterflies that were fluttering around in my stomach were not welcome.

"I've been thinking about that for a while now and I honestly have no idea."

I swallowed the lump that had settled in my throat and felt my nervousness double at her cryptic answer. "Well what about Yuna and Rikku? When would you want to tell them?" I figured that asking her opinion on the subject would be better than asking a yes or no question. This way I could get a much better idea about what she was thinking.

"That's a good question," she replied after a few more silent moments. "I do want to tell them. I actually really do, but as soon as Rikku hears about it she's going to start a fire and everyone in the entire school will know by the end of the day."

I nodded and pushed my remaining noodles around my plate, recalling how much her Al Bhed best friend loved to gossip. I understood why she was so hesitant then. She was one of the rare celebrities that enjoyed their privacy. "Well I'm with you whatever you decide."

When she met my gaze the smile on her face was reflected in her eyes and I was stunned by how beautiful that made her look. "Thank you," she said, her voice soft. "For everything."

"You don't have to thank me," I replied. "I'm your boyfriend. I'm supposed to treat you like a queen, right?"

She laughed as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. "Baralai, if every guy on the planet was like you there would be no such thing as a bad relationship."

I felt my face grow hot at her compliment, surprised that she thought that. "I don't know about that. I'm definitely not perfect, far from it actually."

"I wouldn't be with you if you thought otherwise," she said.

I couldn't help the sigh of contentment that escaped my lungs then, a feeling that I was right where I was supposed to be passing over me. A part of me still couldn't believe that I had found such an amazing girl and I wished I could have met her sooner.

"So I have a question," I said a few hours later when we were getting ready to go to bed.

Paine paused in the hallway and turned to me, an inquisitive expression on her face. "And what would that be?" She asked, folding her arms loosely across her chest and leaning casually against the wall.

I flexed my fingers nervously at my sides, unsure of how she would receive my rather bold proposition. "Well, last night after we…you know… Anyways, I really enjoyed waking up and seeing you lying next to me. If you want you're welcome to sleep with me again. Just sleep though," I was quick to add. "None of that…other stuff."

She grinned and cocked her head to the side. "No," she stated before turning around and walking to her room. I was so shell shocked by her sudden answer that I didn't know how to respond. I certainly hadn't been expecting her to answer so quickly and shoot down my offer on top of it all. Just when I was beginning to feel extremely foolish she stopped in her doorway and looked back at me, the same mischievous grin still on her face. "We're sleeping in my bed tonight."

Only after she disappeared into her room did my legs finally lurch into action and propel me into my room faster than I had moved in a while. I swiftly threw on a pair of loose fitting sweatpants over my boxes then ran down the hallway like my heels were on fire. I paused briefly in her doorway and spotted her lying on her bed on top of the covers staring up at the ceiling. She was wearing a small black tank top that showed off just enough of her abdomen to get my heart racing and a matching pair of cloth shorts. She saw me out of the corner of her eye and shifted her gaze to my face. I noticed that her eyes paused on my bare chest and hung there for a few seconds longer than they should have but I didn't really care. I like staring at her just as much as she likes looking at me. I could probably stare at her all day if I had that kind of time.

"You sure do dress to impress, don't you?" She inquired, that same grin still decorating her face.

My lips curled upwards slightly as I looked down at my current state of undress. "Always," I replied as I strolled over to join her on the other side of the bed. "Especially when I'm around you."

She chuckled and turned towards me when I laid down, propping her head up on her bent left arm. "Oh, really? I was under the impression that you dressed like every other rich teenager in the world just for kicks," she joked.

"Hardly," I shot back and we shared a laugh together.

When our hushed laughter died down a comfortable silence settled over us and we just stared into each other's eyes for countless seconds. I wondered for a few moments what we looked like to an outside observer. Did it look like we were in love? Would the people we went to school with be able to tell we were in a relationship? So many thoughts were flying through my head that I could barely pin any of them down. _What does she think about when she looks at me? What kind of feelings does she harbor for me? Does she ever think about the future?_ Those few questions were barely scratching the surface of the hundreds more that I had. I knew a majority of those particular thoughts would probably be enough to scare her off. Keeping them to myself was in the best interest of everyone until I knew we would eventually get that serious.

"You start Blitzball tomorrow, right?" I almost jumped when she suddenly broke the silence and I continued to stare at her with a semi-vacant expression until her question registered in my mind.

"Yes," I answered, moving slightly closer to her. "If you want I can drive you home before practice starts." I was hoping just a little bit that she would want to stay and watch me practice but I wasn't holding my breath. If she didn't want to stay I wouldn't be upset.

She shook her head and she moved just a little bit closer to me, gently squeezing one of her feet between mine. She was close enough that I could smell her shampoo and just the aroma of her hair was almost enough to intoxicate my senses, making me almost completely lose my control. "No, I want to watch you. Like I said before, it'll give me a chance to get started on that mountain of homework I'll be getting."

I snaked my arm around her waist and pressed her as close to me as she could get, being extremely mindful of her back. Over the last few hours I had been stricken with an insane need to have her near me. It was like I felt a magnetic pull towards her that I couldn't resist for very long. I buried my nose in her and breathed in deeply before sighing in contentment. I was glad that she wanted to watch me practice. While I was with Kiele she only came to a few of my games and that was only when I begged her. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" I mumbled into her hair.

"Rikku and Yuna tell me that whenever they want something," she replied, planting a string of erotically soft kisses across my neck and draping her arm across my shoulder.

My skin tingled where her lips touched, causing dozens of goose bumps to pop up all over my neck, back, shoulders and chest. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and feel it bouncing off the inside my ribcage. I was in awe of the effect she had on me. It was crazy and impossible but I would never be able to get enough of it. I remembered that I had yet to respond to her statement and my breath caught in my throat as I scrambled for something to say.

"Well I'm saying it because it's true," I said, silently applauding myself on my recovery.

She pulled her head out of the hollow of my throat and grinned up at me, apparently liking what I had said. For a split second it seemed like she was going to say something but instead she reached behind her and turned her bedside lamp off, throwing the entire room into darkness. I was in the process of trying to come up with a believable excuse to get her to turn the light back on when she curled her leg seductively over mine, pressing herself even tighter against me. Just that one action had my head spinning and almost made me come undone. The memory of the other night entered my mind and the fact that I hadn't hurt her still confounded me.

"Shut up," she whispered before planting her soft lips against mine. Her hands crawled over my shoulders and firmly kneaded the muscles of my back, causing the grip I had on her waist to tighten.

I certainly hadn't been expecting her to want a repeat of last night's…activities. I only hoped I was going to be able to show the same amount of restraint tonight. Hurting her was the last thing I wanted to do.

* * *

**(Paine)**

Waking up the next morning and finding Baralai next to me really was amazing. I discovered that there really weren't any words sufficient enough for me to describe exactly how I felt. I clearly understood the reason behind his words the other night. I breathed in deeply and watched the steady rise and fall of his chest for a few moments before looking over my shoulder to check the time. A displeased scowl started to form on my face when I saw that it was nearly half an hour until my alarm was set to go off. I looked back at Baralai, admiring the peaceful expression on his face while he slept, and couldn't stop the scowl from turning into a smile. Feeling any negative emotion around him was nearly impossible.

I went to wake him up but then I remembered how he had let me sleep in the other morning while he made coffee and cooked breakfast. I didn't really feel like cooking this early but I knew that I needed to eat something so I could take my pain pills. I gently rolled over onto my back, wincing only slightly, and stared up at the ceiling for a few moments before begrudgingly getting out from underneath the warm blankets. I switched off my alarm and glanced over my shoulder once more at Baralai's sleeping form, wishing I could climb back in bed with him but knowing I needed the extra time to get ready.

Half an hour later when I emerged from the bathroom fully dressed, sans my back braces, I wasn't surprised to see Baralai still sleeping. Even though we had been living together for a couple weeks I still had no idea what his morning ritual was and I wondered for a moment why I had turned the alarm off. _Don't worry about it,_ my mind told me. _He'll enjoy you waking him up much more than an alarm._ I snickered to myself as I meandered into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. If I was Rikku I would have been able to come up with at least half a dozen pranks to pull on him before he woke up but I wasn't as evil as her. Her and Gippal messed around on each other like that all the time.

Thinking about one of my best friends only reminded me of how I had yet to tell them about mine and Baralai's relationship. It had been foolish of me to even consider keeping something like that from them. We had always made a habit of being honest with each other and the fact that they couldn't keep their mouths shut shouldn't keep me from telling them. _Letting them in on it now is better than waiting until they figure it out on their own,_ I reasoned as I started brewing the coffee. I stood there in front of the coffee maker for a few moments and watched as the dark liquid slowly dripped into the bottom of the glass container. Before I realized it a thin layer of coffee had formed in the bottom even though it felt like only a few seconds had passed. I quickly shook myself from my trance and returned to my room to wake Baralai.

When I walked back into my room I couldn't help but smile when I saw him sprawled out on my pillow. I gently sat down beside him and swept my fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft it was, then leaned down to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. He groaned, a low sound that rumbled through his chest like thunder, and smiled as he slowly opened his eyes to look up at me. His hands found mine and he laced our fingers together.

"Now I would love to be woken up like that every morning," he said, his voice thick with sleep.

"Well don't get used to it," I remarked, enjoying the feel of his hands in mine. I also wouldn't mind waking up next to him every morning but I was going to keep that little factoid to myself for a while. Baralai might be bold enough to say something like that but I was nowhere near as daring. A statement like that was reserved for a couple that had been dating for longer than twenty-four hours. "We've got a little less than an hour until school starts so whatever you need to do to get ready I suggest you get it done." I rose from the bed and went to my closet to grab a pair of shoes as well as gather the books I thought I would need for my first day back. "Oh and coffee will be ready in about five minutes."

"You're amazing!" He called as he walked out of my room.

While Baralai dressed I finished gathering my school books and both of my back braces then carefully carried all of it out of my room, depositing it on the dining room table. I fastened my braces tightly around me, the small one under my shirt and the bigger one over, hoping I wouldn't have to adjust them throughout the day. I realized early on that the more walking I did the more my brace moved around so I knew I was going to have to fix it whether I liked it or not. Even though I had noticed a difference with how stable my back felt after I put on the compression brace that Dr. Allbrook had given me I had a feeling my back was going to be sore at the end of the day.

I heard the coffee pot ding and I sighed in relief, needing a caffeine boost in the worst way. I grabbed two clean mugs from the cupboard and filled them halfway with the steaming black liquid then topped them off with creamer. I took a few small sips from mine, savoring the sweet taste of the creamer mixed with the bitterness of the coffee, before bringing Baralai his.

After finding both his room and the guest bathroom that he had taken over empty I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling. Ever since he found out about how many different kinds of hair products I had in my bathroom I could barely keep him out of there. I really didn't mind – half the products hadn't been touched in forever – but I was still assimilating him into my life. Having someone from the outside being so close to all my personal belongings still felt wrong in some way. I had to continually remind myself that Baralai was my boyfriend now and allowing him to become a part of my life was something I had to do if I wanted to keep him around. I was going to have to make breaking personal boundaries my new hobby.

He smiled when he saw me come into the bathroom with the mugs of coffee in my hands and gave me a quick peck on the cheek as I handed him his. "So I see you're getting into my hair gel again," I said, slapping a fake glare onto my face for dramatic effect.

Of course he saw right through it. "No, just your hairspray this time." He kissed me on the lips, letting his mouth linger on mine for a few extremely pleasant moments. "And it was even one that was starting to collect dust so I don't think you'll miss it."

I rolled my eyes at him then went to sit on my bed and drink my coffee in peace. We left about twenty minutes later and I found myself getting the nervous jitters the closer we got to the school. I wanted to reach over and hold Baralai's hand for some reassurance but he needed both of them to drive. I settled for weaving my own fingers together and pressing my clasped hands firmly in my lap. This was something I had to do and I wouldn't allow myself to run away from it. I was pretty sure that Rikku and Yuna had told everyone that I was alive and well so I was hoping that I had become old news by now. Wishful thinking, right?

Our small group of friends were already waiting for us when we pulled into the school's parking lot. As soon as Rikku spotted Baralai's car she started clapping and jumping around excitedly, alerting everyone else to our arrival. I groaned and hid my face in my hands. Putting up with an overly excited and very hyper Rikku had not been on the list of things I wanted to deal with on top of everything else today. I glanced at Baralai from behind my makeshift shield, looking for some reassurance, and was rewarded with a playful smirk instead. All of a sudden I wished that I really had died.

Baralai pried one of my hands away from my face and I swore I heard him chuckle. "Don't act like the world is coming to an end," he said, squeezing my fingers tightly. "They're your best friends and they thought you were dead. Go easy on them."

"As long as Rikku doesn't jump on me," I replied as I reluctantly stepped out of the car.

"That shouldn't be too hard."

Rikku and Yuna were instantly at my side as soon as I had shut the car door behind me and, just as I had predicted, Rikku attempted to throw herself at me. Baralai thankfully stepped in before she was able to though. "I really don't feel like bringing her to the hospital again," he said, holding her at bay. His tone reminded me of a parent scolding their child and I had to choke down my laughter. I had never heard him speak like that before.

"Oh whoops," she said, sounding like she just remembered about my back. "Anyways, Painey, we got you a present!"

Yuna handed me a box that was about the same size of my hand and only two inches thick. It didn't leave much to the imagination. The wrapping paper was covered with chocobos and moogles and topped off with a light blue plastic bow. I shot Rikku a disgusted look because I knew that she was the culprit behind that.

"Just open it!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air. "Does it really matter what the wrapping paper looks like?"

"Only when it looks like this," I responded, taking the bow off the box and slapping it on the top of her head.

I couldn't stop my mouth from dropping open when I saw what was inside the box. The sleek black screen of a high-tech cell phone, the same one that I had been thinking of getting before my crash, was reflecting my flabbergasted expression back at me. I suddenly felt like crying and the strange sensation of tears building up in the corners of my eyes shocked me. I really did have some of the most amazing friends in the world. I take back everything that I thought before I got out of Baralai's car.

"Wow, you guys," I stammered after I had managed to find my voice. "Thanks a lot. You didn't have to do that you know." I wrapped an arm around each of them and hugged them tightly. Because of all the issues with my insurance over my surgery and crash I hardly had time to sit and relax let alone worry about buying a new cell phone.

"Oh yes we did. Yunie and I witnessed firsthand what your old cell phone went through when you crashed. Plus you needed something better than that old flip phone," Rikku said as she pulled the bow out of her hair.

"Hey, I liked that phone," I replied, carefully extracting my new phone from the box. "This thing comes with an instruction manual, right?" I joked, glanced at both my friends.

"Yeah, the rest of that is in this box," Yuna said, handing me the original packaging that the phone had come in. I looked at it for a few seconds then placed it on the passenger seat of Baralai's car.

"We already charged it and put all of our numbers in your phonebook," Rikku announced proudly. "Oh and I took the liberty of putting a screen protector on it."

I looked over at Baralai and caught him trying to hide a very smug expression. I narrowed my eyes at him. "You knew about this, didn't you?"

He grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "They might have mentioned it once or twice."

"Yeah, of course," I responded dryly, rolling my eyes.

Rikku showed me how to turn it on then left me to fend for myself, confident that I would be able to figure out how to work it if I played with it enough. Gippal and Tidus joined us then, effectively diverting their attention away from me. I gaped at their backs as they went to their boyfriends' sides, marveling at the fact that they hadn't even noticed how close Baralai was standing to me or that his hand had been securely wrapped around my hip the entire time. They had, for the first time, shocked me into silence. I had been hoping they would catch on so I wouldn't have to come out and say it. I glanced over my shoulder at Baralai and he sent me a knowing glance, letting me know with just his eyes that if I was going to tell them about us I had better do it quick.

"Hey, guys," I said, sliding my new phone into my back pocket and laying a hand on each of their shoulders. "There's something I've got to tell you." I looked over my shoulder at Baralai and he nodded his head, encouraging me to continue. I flicked my head towards Gippal and Tidus, indicating that he needed to let his own friends in on our little secret as well. He jokingly rolled his eyes as he got their attention.

"What's up, Painey?" Rikku inquired as she hopped onto the hood of Yuna's car. Yuna followed suit and they both looked at me expectantly.

I sighed heavily and wrung my hands nervously in front of me. It had been quite a while since the last time I had told them I had a boyfriend. We had just started eighth grade when I met the last little bastard. I remember it well only because that was shortly before we hit it big with our singing. It's a shame that such a happy memory was tied in with such a horrible one. My breath caught in my throat when I noticed my lapse and shook the nervousness from my mind. My relationship with Baralai felt right so there was no reason why I should be feeling that way.

"I'm dating Baralai," I blurted, keeping my revelation simple. I had probably rehearsed what I was going to say to them dozens of times and with every scenario I thought of I always ended up rambling, which is something I'm not known to do very often.

Both girls frowned simultaneously, their eyes growing wide as my words registered in their minds. Rikku turned towards her cousin and whispered, "Is she serious?"

Yuna, who looked more happy than shocked, nodded and answered her without taking her eyes away from me. "Yes, Rikku, I think she is."

I huffed, more amused than angry that they were talking about me like I wasn't standing right in front of them. "I definitely wouldn't be joking about something like this and you know it," I responded, crossing my arms over my chest.

Rikku giggled and jumped off of Yuna's car, moving to hug me at a much slower pace than before. "We're happy for you, Paine," she whispered into my ear. "It's about time you found someone worthy."

I hugged her back and one corner of my mouth twitched. "Thanks, I think. And I know you two are getting ready to send out a news bulletin announcing the change in my relationship status so don't try denying it. Just don't go overboard."

Yuna smiled and crossed her legs. "We would never dream of it. Right, Rikku?"

The younger blonde shook her head, the beads in her hair clacking together, and a smile similar to the one on Yuna's face appeared on hers. "Nope, never."

I groaned inwardly when the bell rang, signaling the beginning of my first school day in almost two months. I sighed in trepidation, feeling like crawling back into Baralai's car and hiding. I smiled, relieved, when his warm fingers laced through mine, making me feel just a little bit better.

The day hadn't been as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yuna and Rikku had a two week head start breaking the news to the rest of our class mates so no one needed a recap of my life since my crash. Quite a few people did bring me flowers though so by the end of the day I looked like a walking flower store.

Of course word had spread about me and Baralai so I had to put up with the plethora of questions about that. Although we weren't trying very hard to hide it. Baralai met me outside of all the classes we didn't have together and walked with me to my next one while holding my hand. We had come to a mutual decision not to kiss in front of everyone; I wanted at least a few aspects of our relationship kept private.

By the end of the day my back was screaming for something soft to sit against. The hard plastic chains of the school desks had been far from welcoming and it only took till the end of first period for me to wish I had brought a pillow with me. The school was strict when it came to students carrying medication around with them so I had to leave my pain pills with the nurse and was only allowed to take them during lunch and at the end of the day.

As for all that homework, my teachers showed no mercy even though my lengthy absence had been excused. I really couldn't blame them but once I saw the amount of work I had to get done I felt the urge to crawl into a dark hole and weep. Just to be sure that my place at the graduation ceremony would be saved I made the principal put our little deal in writing. If I finished and turned in all my missing work I would be allowed to walk. If not, I would be graduating a semester late. So I guess you could say the proverbial fire beneath my ass had been lit.

When the final bell rang I was so happy that I nearly tried running out of the classroom but settled for calmly shuffling out, my many bouquets of flowers in my arms. I backed up against the wall outside the door and watched the halls for Baralai over the tops of the colorful petals. It wasn't long until I spotted his signature white hair bobbing through the crowd. I fell in step beside him, handing him a stack of flowers, and looped my free arm through his.

"So what are you going to do with all these flowers?" He asked, playfully swinging the bouquets I handed him in front of my face.

"As soon as I get home I'm throwing them away," I answered, idly smelling a bouquet of lilies.

"That's not very nice. You won't even keep any?"

I eyed the lilies, they were my mother's favorite flower after all. "I'll probably keep the lilies, but that's it. I don't want my house looking like a flower pasture." I paused and looked over at him. "I kind of wish you didn't have Blitzball practice. My back is killing me."

"Do you have your pain pills?" He asked, concern filtering into his voice.

"I need to go get them from the nurse. You can go get ready if you need to."

"Nope," he replied, adjusting his arms so that it was wrapped snugly around my waist. "I'm definitely not leaving you by yourself. I'd feel horrible if you fell on your way over to the pool."

I tilted my head up slightly to look at him. "You're absolutely right. That would be horrible. Thanks." I was trying to sound sarcastic but I really was glad that he was going to stay with me.

"Don't mention it," he said, quickly planting a kiss in my hair as we were walking into the nurses' office.

The nurse, an older woman with thick glasses and gray streaks in her dark brown hair, looked up when we walked in. She flashed me a warm smile then reached inside a side drawer of her desk procuring my pill bottle from it. I handed Baralai the rest of my flowers as I went to take the small orange bottle from her.

"Are you going home right away, dear?" She asked, reaching into another drawer on the opposite side.

I pursed my lips, the idea of asking Baralai to just bring me home passing through my mind. Would he understand? _Don't forget that you promised him you would stay._ I bit down on the inside of my cheek, chewing on it for few seconds. "No, not for a while," I replied, looking back and smiling at him.

The expression that appeared on his countenance then was nothing short of pure joy and pride. I knew that I had made the right decision. A little discomfort on my part was worth it to watch him practice. I wasn't staying just so I could get homework done even though I had told him otherwise.

"Alright then," the nurse replied, bringing my attention away from Baralai. "Take these." She placed two chocolate chip granola bars and a bottle of orange juice on the desk and slid them towards me. "You need to take those pills with food, correct?" She asked, her soft eyes grinning at me from behind her glasses.

"Yeah," I answered as I took the items from her desk. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it, dear."

I opened the orange juice as soon as we left the nurses' office and took a huge gulp. I hadn't had anything to drink since lunch and my throat was as dray as the Bikanel desert. "Where am I going to sit?" I inquired as I twisted the cap back onto the bottle.

He narrowed his eyes and chewed on his bottom lip like he was in deep thought then smirked playfully down at me through his eyelashes. "I've got an idea. I'll show you before I go to dress out," he said, holding the door that led to the pool open for me.

The swimming pool was absolutely immense. It was two hundred meters long, one hundred meters wide and nearly thirty feet deep on one side. I've been it a few times before for gym class and it made me feel like I was swimming in the ocean. Baralai took my hand and led me towards the deep end, descending a staircase that blended in with the wall on the far side. The staircase was pitch black and got darker the farther down we went so I wrapped my hand around his shoulder for added security. I found it amazing that he was able to traverse the stairs with his arms full of flowers. I would have ended up on my face. At the bottom he flicked a switch and small fluorescent lights lit up all around the perimeter of the room, supplying just enough light to see by. A plush L-shaped couch was sitting in front of a window that allowed you to see inside the pool. I gaped at it, kind of surprised that I hadn't even known about this place.

"Wow," I said in awe, walking around and sitting down on the couch. "You sure I can be down here?" I glanced up at him as he placed all my flowers on the floor then leaned over the back of the couch.

"This room is usually reserved for coaches during swim meets and since the swim season doesn't start until after Blitzball is over no one will be coming down here for a while. I figured you'd be more comfortable down here anyways. We'll be mostly underwater today."

He leaned down further and planted a soft kiss on my lips. "Need anything else before I leave?"

I wrinkled my nose slightly, only one question swirling through my mind. "How do you blitzers hold your breath for so long?" Even though I had been friends with Tidus and Gippal for years I had never asked them that before.

"We actually don't hold our breath at all. The water is oxygenated. It's harder to push out of your lungs so we can't stay under for very long. It's tough to get used to," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Interesting," I replied, feeling kind of dumb that I hadn't come to that conclusion myself. "I don't play Blitzball so I wouldn't know that."

"It's a trade secret," he said as he kissed me again. "I'll see you in a little bit, alright? We get a break every half hour so if you need anything let me know."

"Okay," I said, watching him ascend the stairs and disappear from sight.

After he was gone I sighed heavily and sank into the plush cushions of the couch, glaring down at my binder with distaste. I didn't want to do any of the homework that was waiting for me but I didn't have a choice. I wanted to graduate with my friends and I'd get the work done even if it killed me. I groaned as I snatched my binder off the couch and got started, idly chewing on my granola bars so I could take my meds.

It was about twenty minutes later when a dull knocking pulled my concentration away from my homework. I lifted my eyes and saw Baralai grinning at me from the other side of the glass. I jumped involuntarily, not expecting to see him and waved back awkwardly. As I rose from the couch and approached the glass I took note that his uniform was nothing more than a short sleeved black wetsuit with the school insignia on the front. I vaguely recalled Gippal telling me that, because the pool was so deep, it was hard to keep the water at a consistent temperature so it got pretty cold. I smiled at him through the glass and briefly wondered if he could see me clearly. He smiled back then looked over his shoulder like someone was trying to get his attention. I followed his line of sight and saw Tidus waving him over. Baralai held up the index finger of one of his hands, signaling that he would be right over, then turned back to me. We locked gazes and his eyes softened, resembling melting chocolate. He lifted a hand to his mouth, pressed his lips to his fingers then placed his hand on the glass, a smile slowly spreading across his face. I felt my cheeks grow warm at his simple gesture before repeating what he had done. He winked at me before planting his feet against the glass and pushing off of it, his body moving swiftly through the water toward the rest of his team mates.

I tried focusing on my mountain of homework while the team practiced but found that it was impossible. Watching Baralai play Blitzball felt like a privilege. He was simply amazing. He moved through the water so effortlessly that I thought he had turned into a fish. I was willing to go as far as saying that he could probably give Tidus a run for his money. I reminded myself to discuss that with Baralai later. Every time they had a break he would come down and see how I was doing, which probably wasn't a good idea because he was tracking water everywhere including on me. Seeing him sopping wet with droplets of water dotting his dark skin was kind of captivating.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked as he sat down on the floor in front of me. He was on his last break of the day and I was glad; I was looking forward to going home.

"I am. I love watching you play."

He smirked, an expression of uncertainty like he didn't believe me formed on his face. "You do? Really?"

"Yes, really. I wouldn't lie just to make you feel better, that's for sure."

His smile softened and the expression of disbelief melted off his face as he started to chew on his bottom lip. I could tell that he was getting ready to say something emotionally charged so I only braced for it. I knew that as long as I was with him these occurrences were going to happen more and more often.

Right when he was getting ready to say what he was thinking he stopped and stared down at his lap, a smile spreading across his face that looked vaguely sardonic. "You must think I'm a huge sap," he remarked, looking up at me through his eyelashes.

I frowned, wrinkling my nose at him. "I've never thought that about you. What makes you think that?"

He sighed and crawled over to me, kneeling in front of me and resting his arms on my knees. "When I'm in a relationship I like telling my girlfriend what I'm feeling. I try to be as open and honest as I can because I hate not feeling like I'm not trustworthy." He paused and looked away from me, pursing his lips like he wasn't sure he should keep going.

The fact that he was having a rough time with whatever was running circles through his mind was blatantly obvious. I took the initiative to help him calm down and cradled his face between my hands, leaning close enough to him so that our noses were touching. "You don't have anything to prove to me. Like I said before I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't trust you. I don't doubt you so you shouldn't doubt yourself."

He averted his eyes away from me, his tan cheeks reddening in embarrassment. "I know. I'm sorry." He acted like he wanted to say more but before he had the chance someone knocked sharply on the glass window behind us, making us both jump.

When I looked over Baralai's shoulder and saw Gippal and Tidus making kissy faces at us I felt my own cheeks flare white hot. I hid my face in my hands, completely mortified. Those two catching us having a moment was the last thing I needed. They were going to hold this over my head for a very long time, I just knew it. I felt the pressure of Baralai's arms leave my lap and dared to move my hands away from my face. Baralai was standing a few feet away from the window gesturing wildly to the two on the other side. I wished for a moment that I knew what he was telling them. When his hands stopped moving Tidus and Gippal swam away with smirks on their faces.

"They sure do think they're comedians, don't they?" I remarked as I joined Baralai by the window.

"Yeah, probably a little too much. I have to get back. It won't be too much longer." He kissed me on the cheek then quickly left.

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest, and started to wonder what I had gotten myself into with him. The realization that I was beginning to fall in love with him already should have scared the hell out of me, but it didn't.


	18. Never Wanna Let Go

**Author's Note:**

First of all, I want to apologize for all the typos in the last chapter. They've since been fixed and I'd like to throw out a quick thank you to all of you that pointed out my mistakes.

I'll have a longer note at the end. :)

* * *

**Chapter XVIII:**

**Never Wanna Let Go**

* * *

**(Paine)**

_After Graduation…_

"What time do you have to be down at the stadium?" Baralai called from the front room.

"Five-thirty at least," I shouted back as I was getting dressed.

It had been eight months since my surgery and my life was finally starting to regain some normalcy. My back was almost a hundred percent and I didn't need to wear those ridiculous braces anymore. Before my accident I had taken even the most mundane of tasks, like slouching, for granted. Even being able to bend over or sit cross legged again after so long almost felt wrong. It was kind of like I had been in prison and had finally been set free. Being restricted like that for so long had been maddening. Now that I was cleared I could perform again and tonight was my first time back. I had written almost a dozen songs during my absence and we would be singing a few of them tonight, including one that I had written for Baralai that he didn't know about. On top of all that, I had totally finished recording his song and I even got him to sing it for me.

And, true to his word, Baralai moved back to Bevelle to go through one year of training in preparation of taking over his father's company later on. I know him living so close to his ex-girlfriend should have concerned me but I actually wasn't worried about it. I was proud of myself for trusting him so fully. After what I went through I didn't think I would be able to do something like that ever again. The first week that he had been in Bevelle had been the second hardest week of my life. Having to adjust to living by myself again had been something I never thought I would have to do. Frankly, I couldn't even remember what it had been like to live alone. As cliché as it sounded it felt like we had been living together for years. Seeing him only on the weekends was much, much more difficult than I had anticipated it would be. He was here now so I didn't feel quite so lost anymore.

The sound of Baralai's footsteps coming down the hall made me snap my head up, eager to see his face to reassure me that he was really here. I smiled when he stopped in the doorway. "What are you doing on the floor?" He asked as he came to kneel on the floor beside me.

"I was putting my shoes on," I answered, indicating my pair of running shoes. "Once I was done I realized that I haven't been able to do this for a while so I'm taking a moment to enjoy it."

"Well if you want to get to the stadium on time we should probably go," he suggested, extending his hand to help me up.

"Very astute," I remarked as he carefully pulled me to my feet.

He smirked as he laced his fingers securely through mine. "I try."

I knocked my shoulder into his, a playful smirk on my face as we walked out of my house together. As we passed through the garage I ran my fingers over the black and silver motorcycle Baralai had given me for a graduation present. It had been twice as expensive as my last one, which hadn't set well with me. I thought he had been joking when he said he was going to make a habit out of buying me gifts. I had immediately felt horrible for not buying him a present but even though I continually insisted on paying him back he always declined. I still replay the words he said to me whenever I look at that remarkable motorcycle.

"You really don't understand, do you?" He had said with a whimsical expression on his face. "I did this for you not because I was hoping you pay me back. I did this because I wanted to, because I love you."

That hadn't been the first time he had said that to me but it never failed to take me off guard every time. The fact that I had yet to say it back to him continued to bother me but he never pressured me, not once. I knew that I loved him – I had that figured out only a month in to our relationship – but my intuition kept telling me to wait. I was beginning to wonder how much longer until I was gonna have to take matters into my own hands. I didn't want him to start thinking that I didn't feel anything for him. I didn't want him to feel like I was using him.

"Are you singing anything new tonight?" He asked as he was pulling out of the driveway.

"Yes." Besides the song I had written for Baralai, Yuna was singing two other songs that I had written while I was healing. They were both rather melancholy, which Yuna's voice was much better suited for.

The silence dragged on for nearly thirty seconds before he realized that I wasn't going to elaborate. "Okay…and?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," I told him.

He chuckled. "And why is that?"

"Because I say so. And don't think you're gonna get it out of Tidus or Gippal. They've already taken a vow of silence."

"You aren't going to sing a break up song, are you?" He asked, feigning worry.

"No," I answered. "Nothing that extreme."

"That's good. I'd hate to be dumped that way."

"You've got nothing to worry about then," I said, leaning over and draping my hand over his.

I only saw Yuna's car in our private lot as Baralai was pulling up and I began wondering when Tidus and Gippal were going to arrive. Since I wasn't going to practice the song I wrote for Baralai for obvious reasons I wanted to make sure all of us were on the same page about what would be happening. I was just a tad bit apprehensive to sing such a personal song in front of so many people but I had been preparing for this for so long that I hoped I was going to be ready.

"This is really bugging me now," he stated as he walked with me to the dressing room. "If you tell me I'll still act surprised."

"Oh no, not a chance," I answered, rounding on him. "You'll just have to be patient and wait."

He rolled his eyes playfully and kissed the side of my head. "Fine. I'll see you later." He gave me another quick kiss then set off down the hall towards the sound booth.

I watched him walk away then slowly stepped inside the dressing room, trying to imagine what costume Rikku had waiting for me. She refused to let me see it until the day of the show and kept reassuring me that it was going to fit me perfectly. I was skeptical because I couldn't remember one time when she didn't have to make at least one change to any of my previous outfits. I wasn't going to hold my breath.

Yuna and Rikku turned their heads as I walked through the door; both of them already had a head start on their hair and makeup. Yuna smiled and waved at me while Rikku jumped up from her seat and sprinted over to me.

"I'm so glad you're here!" She exclaimed, grabbing my wrist and tugging me over to my vanity. She pushed me down into my chair, flipped the mirror's lights on and got to work on my hair. "Just ask Yuna. I've been driving her crazy all day."

"Don't you want to finish doing your own stuff before you start on me?" I asked, wincing as the comb she was using caught in my hair.

"Definitely not," she answered, keeping her eyes on my head. "This is your first night back so you take top priority. I'll have plenty of time to finish my own beautification. Don't you worry."

I snorted, amused by her choice of words, and patiently waited as she styled my hair. I didn't mind paying attention to what she was doing, trusting that she would make me look ridiculous.

"Are you nervous about tonight, Paine?" Yuna asked, glancing at me through her mirror.

I stared at my reflection, contemplating her question, and was surprised that I hadn't even thought about it. The last time I performed in front of an audience was the show we did with Cainen. That show felt like a lifetime ago. "I'm more glad than nervous," I replied, turning my head just enough to look at her. "It felt weird to sit on the sidelines for so long."

Yuna smiled at me, her bi-colored eyes shining, as she rubbed rouge on her cheeks. "We're glad to finally have you back. It wasn't the same without you." She paused as she spread shadow on her eyelids. "So, Paine, I have to say that song you wrote for Baralai is really beautiful."

I felt my cheeks flare. "Do you think he'll like it?"

"Painey, I think he would be a fool if he didn't absolutely love it. You've got nothing to worry about," Rikku said, tapping my shoulder gently to bring my attention back to the mirror.

I braced myself as I examined her work, my mouth slackening in shock when I saw how amazing my hair looked. She had styled it in such a way to emphasize my face. It was similar to how I normally styled it but my bangs were a lot crazier.

"Okay, I think you can handle doing your own makeup. Nothing too flashy or colorful, please," Rikku said, sitting down at her own vanity and picking up where she had left off.

About nine times out of ten, it usually took Rikku the longest to get ready out of all three of us. Nothing Yuna or myself said could get her to hurry along. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect and sometimes even went as far as completely starting over when she messed up. Today though she got done in record time so she could help me with my outfit, which shocked the hell out of me.

When she showed it to me the pants alone didn't have me very excited. They were made out of the same skin tight leather that she used for most of my costumes, which was the only thing I liked about them. The left leg went all the way down to my ankle while the other stopped right beneath my butt like they were a cross between skinny jeans and hot pants. I held them out in front of me with my nose screwed up, trying to force myself into liking them. I sighed as I tossed them over the back of my chair, hoping my opinion of them would change after I had them on. The other half of the costume wasn't so bad. It consisted of a revealing fish net tank top and a small leather bomber jacket. The black leather pumps made me nervous though. There were so high that I wasn't sure if I would be able to walk in them, let alone dance.

"Go change, please," Rikku said as she dropped the rest of my outfit, sans the pants, into my arms and pointed to the bathroom.

I rubbed the leather of the bomber jacket in between my fingers as I collected pants and made my way towards the bathroom, trying to picture what I was going to look like in this get up. The image in my head actually didn't look that bad but I still wasn't very thrilled about it. My opinion of the pants, or whatever you want to call them, still wasn't very good. Once I had changed though my mind had officially been changed about them.

_Oh man, I cannot wait until Baralai sees me in this, _I thought as a sly smirk crawled onto my face.

I walked out of the bathroom so Rikku could give me her stamp of approval. As soon as I stepped out the perky blonde in question began clapping her hands together rapidly, an expression of pure excitement upon her face. "I knew it!" She exclaimed, walking closer to give me a proper once over. "I knew this outfit was going to look amazing on you!"

And, true to what she had predicted earlier, she didn't make any alterations to the outfit at all. I was surprised but also just as glad that she had pulled it off. I left the dressing room before she had the chance to find something that was wrong and strode towards the sound booth via the back way, hoping that Gippal was up there. I wasn't going up there just to see Baralai even though that was a huge deciding factor. I actually really wanted to see his reaction to my outfit, more than anything. I hadn't worn anything like this in a while so I was pretty sure my appearance would shock him.

I sighed in relief when I saw all three guys huddled around the sound and light equipment, busy programming the show into the computer. Baralai's white hair looked so out of place next to Tidus and Gippal's blonde heads. Baralai looked up when he heard the sound of the door and I saw his white teeth flash against his tan skin as he began walking towards me. I watched his expression carefully as he finally noticed what I was wearing. I didn't need to ask what was going through his mind, to put it mildly.

"You look amazing," he said, wrapping his hands around my waist and planting a lingering kiss on my lips. I observed that I was just a little bit taller than him with my insanely high heels.

"Hey, Dr. P," Gippal said, his footsteps, accompanied by Tidus', announcing his approach. "It's good to see you on this side again."

After Yuna and Rikku had decided to perform without me until I recovered, which had been almost three months after my surgery, I had resorted to sitting in the audience during the shows. I knew that the option to sit in the sound booth with the guys had been open but me being up there would have only distracted Baralai. Plus, four people in there at the same time would have been a little too much.

"Believe it or not, I was actually getting pretty bored watching Yuna and Rikku have all the fun," I replied, wishing they would have left us alone for just a few seconds longer. Kissing Baralai had never gotten old even though our relationship had almost reached the one year mark.

"Wasn't there something you wanted to talk with us about?" Tidus asked, checking the time on his cell phone.

"Yes there is." I paused and met Baralai's gaze. "You wouldn't mind giving us a second, would you?"

I had been expecting the confusion that surfaced in his eyes then. What I hadn't been expecting was to see a small amount of hurt and rejection as well. "Yeah, sure." His voice almost sounded hollow and I felt my chest constrict tightly, wishing I could tell what was going on in his head. I watched him walk away and hoped he wasn't too angry with me.

"_Oui ghuf fryd du tu, nekrd?"_ I asked Gippal, choosing to speak in Al Bhed just in case Baralai overheard us. I knew for a fact that he hardly knew any of the language so the likelihood that he would be able to understand us was next to nothing.

Gippal nodded, a sly smile sliding onto his face. "Yeah, like you need to remind us anymore. We know the rules."

I nodes stiffly and risked a glance at Baralai. He was sitting with his arms sucked into his chest and staring straight ahead like he was trying to pretend we weren't there. I pursed my lips, almost regretting my decision to send him away. _"Ramb res du ihtancdyht fedruid kejehk duu silr ehvunsydeuh yfyo, bmayca,"_ I mumbled, not taking my eyes away from him. I sighed, wanting to go over and explain everything to him myself but knew I couldn't. I'd spill the entire truth to him if I did. I shifted my eyes over to Gippal. _"Oui lyh tu dryd fedruid duu silr tevvelimdo, nekrd?"_

He laughed and attempted to keep his voice down but didn't do a very good job of it. I caught Baralai shifting uncomfortably in the background and I started regretting the decision to speak with Gippal in Al Bhed. "I've got it handled, Dr. P. You just concentrate on the show." I began to turn around but glanced over my shoulder at Baralai one more time, hoping to get his attention, but he was still staring straight out towards the stage. The weight of Gippal's hand landing on my shoulder took me off my guard. "I've got everything under control," he assured. "Don't worry about him. Once he hears you sing he'll understand."

"Thanks, Gippal." I tore my eyes away from Baralai and walked out of the sound booth without a second thought.

I was distracted the entire time we were doing the run through of the show. Baralai's behavior earlier was bothering me more than I thought it would. No matter how hard I tried to focus on what I was singing, all my concentration was centered around him. The expression on his face when I told him to leave me alone with Gippal and Tidus continued to haunt me. I was so out of it, in fact, that Yuna and Rikku noticed. I tried avoiding them as we were walking off the stage to go wait in the green room but they cornered me before I could escape.

"Alright, Paine, tell us what's wrong," Rikku demanded, leveling me with an intense stare.

"We can tell you're preoccupied with something so don't lie to us," Yuna said, standing next to her cousin.

I grumbled to myself and wished I could have hidden it better. "It's nothing you need to be concerned with. It's something I need to deal with myself." I tried to push past them but they swiftly linked their arms together to bar my path, once again preventing me from leaving.

"You need to tell us," Rikku said, her usually warm emerald eyes cold as stone. "If you don't get it off your chest now you won't be able to concentrate out there." She jabbed her finger over my shoulder, pointing out to the stage.

I knew she was right, but I was embarrassed. I didn't want to burden my friends with my problems. Neither of them had ever talked to me about the arguments or fights they had with their respective boyfriends, more than likely figuring that I didn't want to hear about it. By the way they were looking at me though I could tell that they wanted me to talk to them.. I felt my eyes burn suddenly with unshed tears and quickly turned my head away from them.

"Earlier when I went to talk with Gippal and Tidus," I began, needing to stop to take a deep, calming breath. I could feel the tears building up in the corners of my eyes and I tried blinking rapidly to keep them from falling. I didn't have enough time to redo my make up; we would be going out to perform in less than half an hour. "I asked Baralai to leave me alone with them and I think he took it the wrong way. And I'm pretty sure the fact that I started talking to Gippal in Al Bhed didn't help." My breath caught in my throat just then and I thought myself lucky that my voice hadn't cracked.

Yuna and Rikku took a few moments to let my words sink in before coming forward to embrace me. I wrapped an arm around each of them and sighed in relief. Telling them about what had happened really had helped. The veil of heaviness that settled over me up in the sound both had been lifted and my troubled thoughts had been silenced. I really did have two of the most amazing friends in the world. They knew me better than I knew myself sometimes and I was thankful for their willingness to help me. They backed away and flashed warm, encouraging smiles at me and I couldn't help but feel ten times better than I was a few seconds ago.

"Let's go get you a drink of water," Yuna suggested, looping her arm through mine. "I think you need it."

I acquiesced and let them lead me off the stage. Once we were inside the green room I hadn't even sat down when Yuna shoved a cup of water into my hand. I thanked her and sank into the cushions of the couch, wishing I could just disappear.

_Maybe keeping this song a secret wasn't such a good idea after all,_ I thought with dismay. _If my relationship with Baralai's going to be compromised just for this one moment of secrecy I might as well go back up there and explain everything to him right now._

And I might have done just that if Rikku hadn't spoken up just then. "So he's got no idea you wrote a song for him?"

I took a quick sip of water then shook my head, keeping my eyes in my lap. "No, I haven't told him anything And I probably hurt him by asking to talk with Gippal and Tidus without him, but I didn't have a choice."

"He'll understand once you sing that song to him," Yuna reassured, coming to sit next to me.

I smirked, unable to keep from chuckling. "Gippal said that too. I only hope you guys are right."

It took all my will power to shake off the dark mood I was in. I could only hope that none of the people in the audience were intuitive enough to tell that something was wrong with me. Yuna and Rikku's encouragement had helped more than Gippal's but I knew that I wasn't going to feel right until I had a chance to talk with Baralai again.

Thankfully, there wasn't any costume changes in this show. Rikku figured that she should break me in slowly since it had been so long since my last performance. I made sure to thank her for her graciousness. Having to deal with costume changes was something I wouldn't have been prepared for. I was going to consider myself lucky if I got through the night without my back hurting. I hadn't experimented with dancing to see how it would hold up, which I probably should have done, so I had brought my pain pills with me as a precaution.

So I was very relieved that my back felt fantastic after we got through three of the seven song show. I was singing Baralai's song last and it felt like time had sped up just to spite me. The closer it got to the end of the show the nervous I became. I was appalled because, even though I had never been a very outgoing person, I hadn't ever experienced stage fright. Being on the stage and performing had always come naturally. I caught myself becoming preoccupied again and managed to bring a stop to my swirling thoughts before I embarrassed myself.

When it was finally time for my solo I wasn't as prepared as I would have liked to be. I was out of time and even though I felt the urge to stall somehow it wouldn't really matter in the end. I already swore that I was going to sing him that song as soon as I had written it. Once I got past the fact that I was singing an emotionally personal song to half the population of Luca along with Baralai it wasn't so bad. _Right, who am I kidding? If I can make it through the song without my voice going out I'll be surprised, _I thought as we stood backstage waiting for our crew to finish setting up the corded microphones. There wasn't going to be any dancing or instrument playing during this song so I didn't need both of my hands.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and feel it thudding against the inside of my ribcage as I walked towards the lone microphone at the front of the circular stage. The crowd was eerily silent around us and I felt my heart beat accelerate. The sharp succession of footsteps belonging to Yuna and Rikku only solidified the fact that this was really happening. Them standing near the rear of the stage while I stood at the front by myself was another reason for my anxiety. We usually stood relatively close to each other, even for our solos, during a normal night, but this night was far from normal.

The silence in the stadium was deafening as I took my place at the front of the stage, calmly wrapping one of my hands around the microphone. I closed my eyes and let myself pretend that there was no one else but Baralai watching me but that fantasy vanished when a blinding spotlight shown down on me and crowd surrounding me began to cheer. The music started and I was officially out of time.

I had to exert all of my remaining will power to keep my eyes away from the sound booth's windows, but try as I might I couldn't do it. Impulse won out over will power. I could plainly pick Baralai out even though he was almost a hundred yards above me. As soon as my eyes found his outline I began to wonder what was going through his mind. Did Gippal or Tidus throw him any clues about what I was going to sing? Would he still be angry at me?

_Just don't think about it,_ I told myself. _Concentrate on singing and worry about the rest later._

I almost felt liberated when the song was over. Judging by the thunderous applause in the crowd they had enjoyed their brief glimpse into my personal life. I took a few moments to smile and wave at the crowd as Gippal turned the lights up, earning a cacophony of screams, then swiftly walked off stage. I was halfway to the dressing room when Yuna and Rikku caught up to me.

"That was amazing, Paine!" Rikku exclaimed, dancing up beside me. "I can't wait to see Baralai's reaction!"

One corner of my upper lip curled up even though my whole mouth wanted to spread into the widest smile I could muster. I voluntarily hid my emotions though, just in case Baralai didn't like it, falling back into my ancient self-preservation habits. If I expected the worst case scenario to happen then I wouldn't be too disappointed when it did. My hand felt clammy as I wrapped it around the cool metal of the doorknob leading to our dressing room, my previous feelings of nervousness and anxiety creeping back up on me. I knew he was going to be showing up soon so I once again needed to prepare myself for the inevitable.

_I don't know how much more my nerves can handle,_ I thought as I sank into my vanity's chair. _The only thing I want to do right now is climb into bed._

I heard the door open behind me less than five minutes later and I couldn't stop myself from jumping slightly. I lifted my eyes and watched in my mirror as Baralai slowly slid inside. When his gaze found mine he froze like he had been caught red handed but wasted no time regaining his composure. I could see the war that was raging in his eyes as he got closer to me and I could only imagine what I looked like to him in that moment. My muscles automatically tensed when he placed his hand tentatively on my shoulder but I forced myself to relax, knowing that there was no need to throw my guard up just yet. I brought my own hand up and squeezed his fingers reassuringly, unsure which one of us needed the encouragement more.

We sat there like a pair of marble statues, staring at each other like we were waiting for one of us to crack. I really had no idea what to say to him. I knew I owed him an apology but I couldn't get my mouth to cooperate with me. Luckily, Baralai spoke up and took the pressure off of me.

"I owe you a huge apology," he mumbled, his voice barely high enough for me to hear it. He moved closer to me and encircled his arms around my neck. I felt my body relax and mold into his, the sound of his voice cutting through the tension in the room. I noticed that Yuna and Rikku had mysteriously disappeared and took a few moments to wonder if that was intentional or not.

I sucked in a deep breath to calm my suddenly racing heart. "No, I'm the one that should apologize to you. I shouldn't have done half the things I did earlier. I can only imagine what was going through your head before you heard that song."

He grabbed Yuna's vanity chair and pulled it over beside me then sat down, weaving his fingers slowly through mine. "I shouldn't have reacted that way in the first place. It was childish." He paused and stared down at our linked hands, absently chewing on the inside of his cheek. When he finally lifted his eyes to meet mine there was a softness to them that I had never seen before. "I didn't know you missed me that much." The smile that spread across his face then was infectious. I felt my own expression match his a moment later.

"After living with you for you so long, being alone felt really strange. Honestly, I almost went nuts that first week." I felt my cheeks flare in embarrassment and turned away from him. I had never admitted that to anyone before and even though Baralai was my boyfriend telling him hadn't been easy at all.

"Well it wouldn't be so hard on either of us if you came to Bevelle with me," he whispered, his warm breath dancing over my ear and causing a small shiver to race down my back.

I snapped my head around, my eyes wide with shock. Going with him to Bevelle had never been an option before, or so I thought. Of course I had briefly considered it when he first told me he had to go back for his training but our relationship was still so young then. I hadn't thought a request like that would have been appropriate at the time. The fact that he was bringing it up now made me wonder if he had been thinking the same thing I had.

"You know that wouldn't be possible," I answered, my voice just as low.

"Why?" He questioned, his stare suddenly intensifying. His eyes went from melted chocolate to hard stone and the shift caught me unawares. I hadn't been expecting him to look at me like that and it took me a few seconds to pull myself out of my stupor.

"I-I'm performing again," I stammered, feeling the urge to lean away from him. What surprised me is when I actually acted on it, but what stunned me even more is the expression that appeared on his face when I moved away. He didn't look angry, just sad and disappointed with himself. My temper suddenly flared without warning and I was powerless to stop the venomous words that poured from my mouth. "I still have my friends to think about. I have way too many things that I'm responsible for here. I guess I was mistaken when I thought you would understand."

I let my irritation get the best of me then and I ripped my hand from his grasp then swiftly walked away from him. I turned a deaf ear to his pleas and went straight into my closet, not really having anywhere else I could go. I had half the mind to shut the door behind me but decided not to act on that impulse. I made a beeline for my section of normal clothes and began angrily sifting through all the articles. I paused after only a few moments though, noticing something strange hanging up just a few feet to my right.

My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach at the sight of the dark red dress hanging there innocently on the rack. My feet moved toward it automatically, capturing the fabric in my hands and examining it. The color was exquisite and I was certain it would match my eyes perfectly. The sleeves were long and skinny and the shoulders of the dress looked like they were made to hug my upper arms when I wore it. The extra cloth around the top of the dress seemed to bring emphasis to the bust, something I didn't really mind since I wasn't very well endowed in the certain area. The skirt stopped short of mid-thigh and was skin tight. There was a note taped to the hanger that I hadn't noticed at first. There were only two words written on it in a very familiar handwriting: _Forgive me?_

I looked behind me, utter astonishment evident on my face, and spied Baralai standing in the doorway grinning like a fool. I had been effectively stunned into silence, my sour mood completely forgotten, and by the look on his face his was gone as well. A strange thought occurred to me then and my eyes narrowed as I searched his face. Something told me there was more behind his strange attitude change than he was letting on.

"You did that on purpose," I said, my eyes narrowing even further. "Why?"

He laughed and I knew my assumption was correct. "Well I had to think of a way to get you in here without spelling it out," he replied, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning casually against the door jam. "I snuck in here before the show and dropped that off." He jerked his chin towards the dress and his smile widened. "The note I added at the last second. I hope you don't take this as me trying to suck up to you. I've had this planned now for a while."

I frowned, not quite following what he had said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll find out. Just get changed." He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.

I shifted my eyes back to the dress and rolled them half-heartedly. After I undressed out of my leather outfit I changed into a strapless bra, all the while wondering how much this dress had cost but figured that it would be best if I didn't know. My toes knocked against something on the floor when I moved to take the dress off the hanger and I winced, my irritation flaring briefly. I didn't recognize the shoebox on the floor but I had a sneaking suspicion that it was from Baralai as well. I leaned down, ready to take the lid off, entertained the thought that his taste in shoes was as good as his taste in clothes, but stopped short.

_I'll worry about the shoes later,_ I thought, straightening back up and pulling the dress off the plastic hanger. I gingerly slid it over my head, acting like I would rip the delicate fabric if I tugged on it too roughly. The material was amazing. It was very soft and didn't make my skin itch like most new clothes are prone to do. He had probably brought it at a high end clothing store in Bevelle, in which case I _never_ wanted to find out how much it cost. Even though I had more than enough money to spend on expensive clothes I proffered to be frugal. I was more concerned with spending what I needed to and saving the rest. Hell, I only went clothes shopping once a year.

After my dress was on I was almost reluctant to look at the shoes Baralai got me. Would he notice if I didn't wear them? Maybe he wouldn't if I kept his attention on my upper half. His eyes were glued to my face half the time anyways. If I was lucky he'd be none the wiser.

_Don't be so petty!_ My mind chastised. _He bought you the shoes. He obviously wants you to wear them. Now put em on and get out there! He's waiting for you!_

With renewed vigor, I picked the plain shoebox up off the floor and quickly lifted the lid before I had the chance to continue second guessing myself. I had to clamp my teeth down on the inside of my bottom lip to prevent my mouth from dropping open when I saw the pumps. They were an exactly match to the color of my dress. I was even more flabbergasted when I actually recognized them. I had been flipping through one of Rikku's fashion magazines a few days ago when all three of us had been hanging out in her room while the petit blonde had been putting the finishing touches on Yuna's costume. I knew they were the same shoes because of the color, the unique design and the price. I sighed but pulled them out of the box and stepped out of my closet.

Not only was Baralai waiting for me but both Yuna and Rikku were as well, looking like they were ready to explode from all their pent up excitement. They gasped in perfect unison and rushed over to get a closer look at my dress. Well, at least Yuna did. Rikku starting fixing the fabric around my chest and shoulders. She gasped in envy when she saw the shoes I was carrying in my hand and couldn't stop herself from gushing about them.

Her blabbering got tiresome very fast. "Thank you, Rikku," I said through clenched teeth as I captured her small hands in mine. "I can take it from here."

She giggled nervously and moved away from me. "Yeah, sorry about that, Paine," she replied, going to stand by her cousin.

I rolled my eyes at them then approached Baralai, finally noticing that he had changed clothes as well. The dark red button down shirt looked amazing against his tan skin. His black slacks and shiny black shoes didn't look too bad either. I glanced down at my dress and smirked. He obviously had a thing for color coordinating as well.

"So what are we doing?" I asked, sitting down in front of my vanity so I could put my shoes on and alter my makeup.

He smiled as he leaned over my right shoulder and kissed the exposed skin, his lips dancing across my neck like a butterfly's wings. "Dinner," he replied. "I hope you don't mind leaving your friends behind."

"Not at all," I said, holding back a shiver as goose bumps popped up all along my shoulder and arms. "I think they'll survive a night without me. Where are we going?"

"You'll find out when we get there," he answered, kissing my neck one more time before straightening. "You know, that dress is missing something."

I frowned and looked down, wondering what it could possibly be missing. "Well I don't know about you but I'm not sure if I can fit anything else in this dress."

He shook his head and leaned his hand against the back of my chair. "No, that's not what I meant." My frown deepened when he rose his closed fist into the air next to my head. He opened his fist then and a ruby necklace that was hooked around one of his fingers fell out of his hand.

I gasped in spite of myself at it as he fastened it around my neck. It looked like a bunch of tiny flowers that were linked together. The flowers themselves were made out of the small red stones. I was so engrossed by the beauty of the necklace that I didn't notice it when he stuck his hand under my chin. He cleared his throat after a few seconds and my mouth dropped open when I saw the matching flower earrings in the palm of his hand. I looked up at him and he was, once again, grinning like a fool.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket once I had taken the earrings out of his hand and fastened them in my ears. "There's a few calls I have to make. I'll wait for you outside."

I met his eyes in the mirror and nodded, smiling to myself as I gazed at him. I still, even after nearly a year, found his beauty dazzling. Even if we stayed together for the rest of our lives I would never cease considering myself extremely lucky to have him.

It took less than ten minutes to freshen my makeup. After slipping on my heels and saying a quick goodbye to Yuna and Rikku – who insisted on a full run down of our date later – then left before they had the chance to stop me again. My needlessly expensive shoes thudded dully against the carpeted floor as I made my way down the hall. My heart fluttered erratically as I wondered where we were going to eat. I had already assumed that we would be going somewhere that enforced a rather strict dress code, which meant it was probably going to be a five star establishment.

I paused just short of walking out the back door, a new thought suddenly occurring to me. My return to the stage had been broadcasted in every magazine and on every news station for the past couple of weeks. The media would be expecting me to go to an expensive restaurant and would probably have reporters staked out at a large number of them. I sighed heavily, my shoulders sagging. I hadn't been in the lime light for so long that it was going to take some getting used to again. Being cooped up in my house for over half a year had desensitized me.

I pushed the door open, a look of focused determination on my face, and spotted Baralai leaning up against the side of his car. He smiled broadly, his eyes moving from my face down to my feet agonizingly slow. I absentmindedly smoothed my dress as I closed the gap between us. As soon as I was close enough to him he hooked his hands around my hips and pulled me towards him, pressing my body flush against his own. His mouth came crashing down on mine and my heart lurched in my chest, igniting a fire that raced through my veins. I buried my fingers in his hair, crushing his lips against mine even more forcefully. His hands slid from my hips, coming dangerously close to the edge of my dress, when he broke away. A satisfied smile was on his face as he took a deep breath through his nose.

"You have no idea how badly I want to rip that dress off you," he murmured, moving to plant a few soft kisses on my neck.

I chuckled as I wrapped my arms loosely around his shoulders. "If you did that I would wind up strangling you with it. Don't you dare ruin this dress." I shifted my hips out of his reach then laced our fingers together so he wouldn't get any ideas. If he spent a couple thousand gil on this outfit then I would be damned if I let him rip it apart…ever.

"I can always buy you more," Baralai joked, glancing over his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I meant. I feel like I should have a body guard with all of this stuff that I'm wearing." I gingerly touched the ruby necklace that Baralai had fastened around my neck, feeling slightly apprehensive. If I didn't know how to defend myself or if Baralai wasn't with me, I probably would not have wanted to go anywhere.

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Besides you look beautiful," he replied, sliding one of his hands casually into his pocket.

A car horn took our attention away from each other and I frowned when I saw a black limousine pull up behind Baralai's car. He looked over at me with a large grin stretching across his face and I leveled him with a murderous glare. "You're pulling out all the stops, aren't you?"

His smile widened and he laughed as he wrapped his arm around my waist, leading me towards the back door of the limo. "For you, yes." He opened the door and waited for me to climb inside before sliding in beside me. "You know where to go," Baralai called to the driver.

The man at the wheel nodded then a dark piece of glass slid shut across the opening, giving us some privacy. I knew that he wasn't going to tell me where we were going to eat so I relaxed against my seat, watching as the limo pulled out of the stadium's parking lot. Baralai's fingers curled around my hand I sighed in contentment as he drew small circles on the back of my hand. Soft music began to filter through the speakers and my lips curled up slightly. He had taken me on quite a few dinner dates in the past but I could already tell that this certain outing would put all the rest of them to shame.

_Why now though?_ I wondered, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. _Why is he making this date such a big deal?_

Of course I didn't have the answer to those questions. I actually felt a small thrill over this whole situation. It almost felt like I was going to a surprise party. I tried to relax but my anticipation only grew the farther we drove. Although the farther we went, the smaller the thrill I had felt at the beginning became. I was starting to become so anxious, in fact, that my legs began shaking. I tried hiding it but Baralai noticed right away, chuckling as he laid a restraining hand on my knee.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing my leg soothingly.

"All this secrecy is getting to me," I replied, leaning my head against the back of the seat and gazing up at the roof. My legs wanted to continue shaking but I valiantly kept them rooted to the floor.

He chuckled again and I smiled involuntarily. I wouldn't have thought it possible a year ago that I would come to love the sound of one boy's laugh so much. Yet here I was, wishing I could listen to it for the rest of eternity. "There's a reason for it, I promise. It's mainly so you won't argue with me."

I leaned towards him, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. "Why would I argue with you?"

"Probably because of how much it costs just to make a reservation there," he answered, weaving his fingers through mine.

I rolled my eyes, already knowing he was going to say something like that. "Why am I not surprised?"

His smiled widened as he slowly dragged the tips of his fingers down my cheek. He breathed in, acting like he was going to say something but clamped his teeth down on the corner of his bottom lip at the last moment. My eyebrows twitched and I wondered what he had been about to say. I opened my mouth, ready to ask him what he was thinking about when the glass window separating us from the driver slid open.

"Where should I wait for you, Mr. DeSilva?" The driver questioned, meeting Baralai's eyes through the rearview mirror.

"Just be back here by midnight," he replied, scooting across the seat towards the door. "What you do until then is your own business."

"Yes, Sir," he said, pulling into the parking lot of our destination.

I peered through the windows, searching the scenery for the name of the mystery restaurant. When I found it I couldn't stop my mouth from sagging open in shock. He had brought me to Euphoria, the most expensive five star restaurant in Luca. I had never been here before but both Yuna and Rikku had and, from what they had told me, it was like committing financial suicide. I felt my heart plummet into my stomach as the limo pulled up to the entrance. I shot Baralai a none too pleased look, thinking about all the other things he could have spent that gil on, but accepted his hand to help me out of the car.

As soon as I had stepped out I was blinded by what seemed like hundreds of camera flashes. I was a little surprised that the media had gotten here so fast. Baralai was the only one that knew where we were going so how they had figured out which restaurant we would be at was beyond me. _They must have a sixth sense or something,_ I thought, pulling my mouth up into the corniest smile I could muster.

"You know I'm gonna kill you when we get home," I mumbled to Baralai through my teeth as we strode toward the front doors.

He smiled, the white of his teeth clashing brilliantly with his skin. "I look forward to it," he whispered back seductively.

Upon entering, the maître'D practically tripped over his own feet to greet us. I was guessing that all the camera flashes had tipped him off to the fact that we were important guests, but when I found out that he knew Baralai and his parents I was actually kind of surprised. Apparently before they moved here, his family and himself came here quite often. That discovery caught my attention and I wondered briefly if there was some underlying cause to him bringing me here of all places. Before I had the chance to ponder over it further the maître'D led us away. We followed him through the restaurant and up to the second floor then out to a private balcony with a quaint two person table already waiting for us. The lit candelabra in the center of the table completed the romantic setting I knew Baralai was going for.

The maître'D, whose name tag read Floyd, pulling my chair out for me and I thanked him. "Your waiter will be with you shortly," he said in a thick island accent.

Once he was out of sight I turned my eyes to Baralai, seriousness painted all over my face. "That's why," I stated simply, the corners of my mouth twitching. I never could stay angry at him for long.

"What do you mean?" He asked, a mischievous glimmer appearing in his dark eyes.

"The reason you brought me here. You're probably familiar with more than just the maître'D and because of that you might be able to pull in a few favors," I answered, taking a sip of the ice water that had already been at the table.

He chuckled, resting his elbows on the edge of the table and leaning forward. "Very astute, but that's only part of it. You'll find out the whole reason later."

I huffed then took a breath to argue that he had kept enough secrets for one night but stopped short when our waiter approached the table. He was older man with a full head of graying hair. He smiled at Baralai as he handed us our menus. I smirked, knowing that I would be right.

"It's wonderful to see you again, Mr. DeSilva," he said, handing him a small folder that I assumed was the wine list. "might I ask who your lovely dinner guest is?" He inquired, turning his face toward me.

"Yes, of course, Lawrence. This is my girlfriend, Aria Fallon. She's part of the singing group, YRP," he said, smiling widely as he introduced me. He'd been calling me by my real name more and more often over the last few months, which I didn't at all mind. In fact, I loved the way my name rolled off his tongue. We kept it between us though because, even if I starting going by Aria again, I would always be Paine to my fans.

"It's a delight to meet you, Miss Fallon," he replied, bowing his head. I smiled back at him and nodded then he turned his attention back to Baralai. "Would you like me to give you a few moments to look over the menu?"

Baralai shifted his gaze to me for a few seconds, the corners of his eyes narrowed slightly, as he considered the man's question. I really wasn't very sure of what to order – the menu looked extremely confusing from what I had read – so I was hoping he would take liberty. It seemed like he was going to say something to me but he caught himself at the last second and turned back to our waiter. "I'll have my usual," he said. Lawrence nodded and scribbled something down on a pad of paper. "As for Aria, bring her my mother's usual."

Our waiter continued to scribble on his paper then looked up at him one last time. "Will you be having any wine?"

Baralai casually flipped through the pages of the wine list before handing it over. "Kilikan Merlot."

Lawrence smiled as he accepted the folder. "Excellent choice. The first course will be out shortly."

I frowned as I watched him quickly walk away before turning to look at my boyfriend, a perplexed look on my face. "First course?" I asked, hoping I would at least be able to walk when it was time to leave.

Baralai smiled at me from over the candelabra and took a drink of water. "Yes, there's actually four courses but the portions are reasonably sized. There's two appetizers, the main course then dessert."

"How many times have you been here exactly?" I asked as I looked over the balcony, admiring the hundreds of different lights of the city.

"I haven't really kept track. Whenever my father came to Luca on business he made sure to come here."

I nodded and rested my chin in the palm of my hand. "Well I'll have to tell your father that he has excellent taste, as expensive as this is." I reached across the table and wrapped my fingers around his. "I would still like to know the reason behind you bringing me here." I tacked a sweet smile onto the end of that sentence, hoping I would talk him into telling me.

He smiled back and squeezed my fingers. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves now. We still have to eat dinner." He looked over my shoulder then leaned back in his chair, extracting his hand from mine.

I leaned back just as Lawrence set a small dinner salad topped with croutons, shredded cheese and a rich, vinaigrette dressing. It wasn't anything extravagant, which was surprising, but the quality of it was astounding. I knew that it was only a salad but it was probably one of the best salads I had ever tasted in my life.

Next, they brought us odd little open faced sandwiches that were in the shape of a triangle with a slice of cucumber and provolone cheese. There was in interesting mayonnaise like sauce between the bread and the cheese that I didn't notice until I had taken a bite. Baralai said they were his mother's personal favorite.

"I'll have to let her know that I enjoyed them then," I replied as I wiped my hands on my thick cloth napkin then tucked it over my legs. I took a small sip of the wine Baralai had ordered, savoring the slightly sweet taste of it and propped my chin on my knuckles.

"She's actually counting on it," he replied, a sly grin appearing on his face.

My mouth fell open at his confession and I began to wonder if everyone except me had known about this. "How many people did you tell?"

"Just my parents," he assured. "My mom was actually the one to suggest that we come here."

Right when I was about to ask why his mother would suggest the most costly restaurant on what I thought was just a regular date our main course arrived and the words died on my tongue. An assortment of steamed vegetables was accompanied by three lamb chops drizzled with a dark brown sauce. My mouth began to water when the aroma of the food reached my nose and my mind was effectively wiped clean.

A comfortable silence fell over us, the shark clinking of our silverware against the china the only thing to be heard. Every once in a while I would steal a few glances in Baralai's direction and find him smiling at me with a sort of whimsical expression on his face. Of course whenever I caught him looking at me he quickly looked away, which only made me think he was hiding something else.

By the time dessert had arrived I was practically shaking with irritation. I picked at the fruit and cream parfait in front of me, my mind abuzz with dozens of different questions. I wondered briefly if he was enjoying watching me squirm or it he even knew what I was going through. I was paying so much attention to the tumult of my thoughts that I didn't even notice it when Baralai came to stand next to me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he laid his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Take a walk with me?" He asked, offering me his hand.

"Sure," I replied, placing my hand in his and allowing him to lead me away from our table. "Where are we going to walk to?"

"There's a small garden of sorts down near the water. My parents enjoyed through it whenever they came. I got bored with it of course but that was before I had someone to walk with me." He paused and I grinned as he weaved his fingers through mine, falling in step beside me as we descended a flight of stairs. "You are enjoying yourself, right?"

I frowned when I turned to look at him, just a little confused. What in the world would make him ask me something like that? "Besides you keeping me in a constant state of suspense, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

He sighed like I had just lifted a weight from his shoulders. He entire countenance radiated relief and I felt even more confounded. "That's good because I really want this night to be perfect."

My steps faltered only slightly when the meaning of those words hit me but I kept my mouth clamped shut. Even though almost all of my questions had been answered with that one simple sentence I wasn't going to jump to conclusions just yet. I took a deep breath through my nose to attempt to calm my racing heart.

"Why is that?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

He pointed to a bench a few feet down the path and directed me towards it. Only after we were sitting did he choose to answer me.

"First of all," he began, taking both of my hands in his. "I promised myself when I was thirteen that I was going to bring a girl that I really cared about to this restaurant. Just so you know, I never came here with Kiele. That being said, I brought you out here to ask you something." He extracted one of his hands out of mine and reached into his pocket.

When he pulled the tiny black leather box out, my heart locked up in my chest. Was he really going to ask me to marry him? I hadn't even told him that I loved him yet, for Shiva's sake! He was either insane or very confident that I would say yes. My heart jump started when he met my gaze and I could only imagine what my face looked like in that moment. _I'm not ready for this,_ I thought, staring to panic. _He can't possibly expect me to marry him while we're still in our teens. What am I supposed to tell him?_

"Before you freak out, I'm not asking you to marry me."

I frowned, but my heart rate returned to normal almost immediately. I definitely hadn't been expecting that. I took a breath, intending to ask him what was really going on but he held his hand up, stopping me from speaking. He lifted the box and carefully opened the lid, exposing the ring nestled inside. A thin gold band with a diamond the size of my pinky nail at the top gleamed back at me and I was stunned.

"I've given this a lot of thought and I know we're too young to get married. The next couple of years are probably going to be hectic with me living in Bevelle training and you living here. I knew that planning a wedding was something we don't need to worry about on top of everything else we have going. Anyways this is just a promise ring." He plucked it out of its velvet seat then snapped the box shut. He placed it in the palm of my hand and I could help but stare down at it mesmerized. "This means that I intend to ask you sometime in the future."

I grinned as I continued to stare at the ring. "Oh, so you're staking your claim on me, are you?"

He laughed and gently curled his thumb and forefinger around the band as he lifted the ring out of my hand. "Exactly. I'm definitely not letting you get away." He paused and I felt compelled to look at him. "So will you promise me?"

I lifted my hand without a second thought, offering him my ring finger. I didn't have a problem with promising him something. "Of course I will."

He sighed heavily at my words and his shoulder sagged with relief. His hand was shaking as he slid the ring onto my finger. "That's a load off my mind." He gripped my left hand in both of his and smiled broadly. If I looked hard enough I swear I could see his eyes tearing up.

"What did you expect me to say?"

"I really didn't know what to expect. I'm surprised that I held it together so well during dinner," he said, removing his hands from mine to rub the tension from his face.

"You have a spectacular poker face then," I replied, lifting my hand to get a closer look at my new ring. Besides the very large diamond, there were small rubies wrapped around the outside, giving it the appearance of a flower. I was surprised that I hadn't noticed them before. It was absolutely beautiful.

That's when I felt it. It was like some unseen force punching in the face and knocked me flat on my back. It was time. It was finally time to him the words that he's been waiting to hear for months. The words caught in my throat and even though I knew I had been given the go ahead I still wasn't sure if I should tell him. My last relationship had gone south mere weeks after I had uttered those fateful words. Everything was going so well with him and I didn't want to end up ruining it. I kicked myself mentally, abolishing those terrible thoughts before they had the chance to fester. I knew that saying those words to him would make him happy. I knew it wouldn't ruin a thing between us. I was just scared. It seemed like my fears would never go away.

I glanced up at Baralai through my eyelashes and I also knew that if I didn't ever tell him he would be very disappointed. I didn't want to do that to him. He didn't deserve that. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my body so close to his that I was practically sitting in his lap. I sighed as his hands slid securely around my waist and the feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be settled over me. I leaned back and when I looked into his eyes it was like I was seeing him for the first time. I realized then that even if he had asked me to marry him I would be a fool to deny him.

"I love you," I said, knowing in my heart then that I was doing the right thing.

His eyebrows jumped into his hairline and his mouth fell open at my confession, but he recovered from his momentary shock quickly. A soon as my words had full sunk into his head he smiled and took my hands in his, squeezing them gently. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that."

I nodded, suddenly feeling my eyes begin to burn. "I'm sorry it took me so long," I replied, my voice becoming thick.

"Better late than never," he whispered, hooking his index finger under my chin and pulling my face closer to his. "I love you too."

When our lips met it was fireworks exploded in my head and fizzled down my spine, making my body tremble. I really did love him and I honestly couldn't wait until asked me to marry him. I absently twirled my promise ring around my finger as our mouths moved together and I couldn't stop the corners of my lips from turning up. I was happy, more happy than I had ever been in my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He had pulled me out of the rut I had been in and I didn't ever think I would be able to make it up to him.

I pulled away from him even though I didn't really want to and put my hands on both sides of his face. "Thank you so much. My life was going nowhere fast until I met you. You saved me."

He smiled and shook his head, bringing his hand to my face to lovingly caress my cheek. "No, we saved each other. My life wasn't very glamorous either. I owe you just as much thanks," he replied, his eyes hold my own captive.

I felt my smile widen as I continued to stare at the missing piece of my soul. It was the first time in years that I had actually felt completely whole again. I knew then that spending an eternity with him wouldn't be long enough. Not by a long shot.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

There are no words to express how grateful I am to all of you that have stuck with this fic since it was published back in '09. When I first thought of the idea for this story I had no idea it would end up like this. Half the time I was flying by the seat of my pants while writing this so I feel lucky to have so many faithful reviewers that put up with all the craziness. This story wouldn't have been half as good without all the people that took the time to leave me comments. So this last 'thank you' is directed at all you amazing people that contributed to the greatness of this story.

So, if any of you feel so inclined, I would greatly appreciate to hear how you liked this final chapter. Thank you all so much! Until we meet again!


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